Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Ryuichi's Love ❯ Chapter5 ( Chapter 5 )

Ryuichi's Love

Chapter 5: Forgivenes?

By Kitty-Kat

Long hours passed since Ryuichi's visit to Tohma. Now the blonde was locked up in his office with the lights out thinking. He avoided everyone for the last four hours; he felt trapped again, trapped between two friends- one his best friend and eternal love, and the other also a close friend, ex-lover and lead singer of his precious band Nittle Grasper.

"I must apologize." Finally he stood up from the black leather seat and slid into his black furry long jacket. "I must find a way for all of us to get along."

~*~

Outside NG Hiro and Shuichi had their conversation about Shindo's betrayal to Yuki.

"I still think you're exaggerating Shuichi, but if you feel so bad, then tell Yuki what happened."

"What if he hates me even more?"

"I think we've been through this enough already. You must stop crying and go solve things with Yuki, being here won't solve anything."

"You're right! I'm wasting time!!!" He jumped off the bench and started screaming like a maniac. "Arigato Hiro!!!" Then he ran away determined to go talk to his dear lover.

"Shuichi…" Hiro smiled while he watched him ran away and then it seemed like a shadow of sadness covered his profile. "I guess this is the way it is."

~.~.~

Once inside the apartment the lead singer of Bad Luck searched for the blonde who was, like always, sitting in front of his computer typing a new novel. Shuichi shyly sat next to him, but the writer ignored his presence, but still he decided to talk to the cold man beside him.

"I want to tell you everything that happened; I don't want you to doubt of my affection."

"Save it; is not like I care."

"But you do, Yuki, that's why you've been so mean to me."

Silence.

"So…I decided to tell you all and won't even leave a single detail- I swear."

He stopped typing and turned to look at Shuichi's face with a blank expression. "Why should I trust you? You can easily lie."

"You can trust me because I would never lie to you Yuki, besides…I'm a bad liar."

"There's no need. I already know what happen."

"But you're wrong Yuki, I didn't sleep with Ryu-kun."

"Ryu-kun…you keep calling him so familiarly." (He's obviously jealous.)

"He told me to call him Ryuichi, so…but I really don't have a thing with him. Yuki…please believe me."

"But you two kissed." Shuichi shut his lips and slowly nodded. "So a kiss means nothing to you- I though you told me otherwise, but you are not a liar, huh?"

"YUKI! Of course a kiss means a lot to me, I don't feel the way you do about kisses. But I won't lie to you, he did kiss me but I told him that I love you."

"Love? HUH!" He chuckled. "How can you love someone you don't even know?"

"But I do know things…maybe not many but they are enough for me to feel the way I do. Maybe you are right, maybe it's not love yet, but I know it will so soon and I don't want to lose it. All I know is that I want to be with you, only with you Yuki." His eyes glittered and reflected his emotions clearly. It was obvious it was true and not a lie, those eyes couldn't lie. "Yuki…"

"Why you have to be so cute?" 'He won.' Yuki slowly approached the younger man's face with his strong hands cupping it lovingly with them, and without another word, he sealed their lips together.

~*~

The longhaired guitarist made it to his little apartment and threw himself into the only furniture he had up till now- the bed. "Shuichi…I wonder when you're going to mature." He smirked. "But you certainly are adorable." *Sighing* "Too bad you chose Yuki…I wonder what you see in him beside his gorgeous features. Oh well, I need a bath and then…PARTY!"

He got ready and just like every night he headed out to the nearest bar. There were little people inside, that's why he liked that place, and the music weren't too loud either. It was the perfect place to just chill and enjoy a beer and a cigarette. While he lost his head into dreaming, a taller man slid next to him wearing a smile and a gun that stood on top of his head a second after the other male joined him.

At first he didn't dare to move and though he was getting robbed or something until he heard the man spoke. "Well, well, well, so it's my Bad Luck's favorite member Nakano Hiroshi."

"K-san? Why-why are you pointing me with that gun???"

He pulled it away and begins to laugh. "Chill! You looked scared boy." He chuckled. "It's just part of my personality." He smirked. "So…mind if I sit along with you?"

"Not at all."

"Then this round would be my treat." He looked into the brunette's eyes and then winked.

Hiro looked away a little embarrassed but accepted the drink. "Ok."

~*~

While Sakuma slept it repeated again; the same traumatic even took place in his mind and tortured his heart. It's been so long, but still he remembered perfectly well and now a dream reminded his heart.

~~~* He entered Tohma's apartment with the key he actually gave him. It was Tohma's birthday and he wanted to make something special to the one he loved, but after he walked inside he heard voices and noises coming from the room. Sakuma felt fear to know, to found something he didn't wanted to know. Who was there with his dear Tohma?

He slowly approached the room and peered through the slightly opened door, it was then when his heart was torn. *~~~

"NO!" He woke up soaked in sweat. "Why am I having this dream again?" 'Probably because of my conversation with Tohma.'

He stepped up from his bead walking straight to the kitchen with his doll in hand. After drinking a glass of water, he sat down on the floor thinking about the past.

"So many bad memories, first my best 'friend' died, then Tohma, and then…every single person I've found never really loved me. Now Shu-chan has someone else. Why it has to be him, Eiri Yuki, the same one who stole Tohma from me. Why Yuki again, why?"

Apparently he remembered something and started looking inside some boxes until he found an old photo album. The cover was a little ragged but it still had the initials NG written in black. It was dusty and smelly, but the pictures inside were clear in his mind. He opened it and started looking for a particular picture.

"Here!" He took it out and stared at it for long minutes. "No, I don't think he's all that. I'm not even a tiny bit attracted to him- he's scary. Those eyes are like daggers." Sakuma threw the picture to the trash and lay back against the carpet sighing sadly. "Everything would've been so different, Tohma, if you had never betrayed me." A lonely tear rolled down his cheek and depression was written all over his face. "No one can love Ryuichi Sakuma. I wonder what is wrong about me."

"Nothing's wrong." A mellow voice replied and the brunette sat up quickly surprised to hear that voice.

"How did you enter?"

"Secret." He winked. "Ryuichi…I came to apologize."

"Forget it." He looked down sadly.

"But I over reacted. I didn't mean to hit you. I-I…"

Ryuichi's expression changed from sad to surprise. "That's what you want to apologize for? Then you can leave the same way you came."

Tohma didn't get it. "What is it that you want?"

"I want you to apologize for what really hurt me. I don't care about a slap, but my heart does care about the stab. You never apologized and THAT was the reason why I left. Maybe if you had my heart wouldn't be so hurt. You could at least explain or apologized…you didn't."

"Do you still love me?"

"HA!" He laughed sarcastically. "Do you think I can love someone who betrayed me the way you did? No, I don't love you, at least not like I used to. But I do deserve an apology."

"I'm sorry."

He smiled. "Forget it really. You don't have to say what you don't really mean. HEY but don't worry, I'm not going anywhere so Nittle Grasper is still getting back together. All you care about is safe, so if that was the reason for you to come over, then the door is open- you can go back to your REAL interest."

The blonde could feel the bitterness in his voice and it made him feel so bad. 'If I told you the truth, you'll be even more hurt.' So he changed the subject. "So you are decided, huh? You are actually thinking about steeling Yuki's love?"

"No, I'm only taking what Shu-chan can give me. If its friendship then it will be it, but if its love…there is NO WAY I'm letting Yuki have him."

"I see…well…bye Ryuichi. See you tomorrow."

Tohma left and Ryuichi looked angry to the door. "You don't care. You don't care even a bit about me, do you? You only care for Yuki. You don't even care for what you did to me and your lame apology didn't come from the heart. You should've came Tohma, no matter what you say I won't give up on Shuichi. Even if he never learns to love me, I'll always be there for him."

Ryuichi took a notebook and a pen and started writing some lyrics- he needed to write to express his feelings.

"I'll write you a song, Shuichi." He smiled and started writing.

'iki mo dekinai joukyou shita de wa sugureta ai wo musaboru'

~*~