Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Ryuichi's Love ❯ Predilection ( Chapter 22 )

 

Ryuichi's Love

Kitty-Kat

Chapter 22: Predilection

 

Bad Luck's leading singer yelled to both males' faces, but thankfully were the only ones in the shop besides the employee otherwise he would look pretty stupid at that moment.

 

Ryuichi and Tatsuha looked at him confused.

 

“Shu-chan?” Ryuichi whispered a little nervous after the sudden scream of hysteria that still echoed in his ears. “What's wrong?” `Did he say what I think he said? Did he say, my Ryu-chan? MY? It can't be! He must be…' After registering what Shuichi just said, his eyes turned sad. `Is he toying with my feelings? He is with Yuki, then why…?'

 

“Ryu…” Shuichi had no idea what to say. He just blew it! He said what he shouldn't have said and what was worst, if front of Tatsuha - Yuki's younger brother!!! That wasn't ending well; there was no chance he would get out of this one. `Now what the hell am I doing…? What can I say to them? OH STOP STARING AT ME!!!' Shuichi was about to cry, he felt completely lost. This time he was REALLY in deep shit, and he was the only one to blame. `Why I came?' The worst thing was he had no idea what to do now, so he just did what a normal immature guy will do- he ran away. “Gomen!” And he was off.

 

But there was NO WAY Ryuichi will let him go that easily, and of course Tatsuha wanted to hear what his brother's little lover had to say on his defense.

 

`Yuki won't like this…' Was all Tatsuha could think of.

 

“SHU-CHAN!!!” Ryuichi went after him. “SHU-CHAN WAIT!!!” And after seeing Ryuichi running away, Tatsuha can only do the same- follow.

 

Just right outside the shop Tatsuha was able to reach Ryuichi, and he was not letting him go away like that. “Wait up, Ryuichi!” He grabbed the man's arm roughly. “You came with me, and you're leaving with me!”

 

”Let go! I don't have time for games now Tatsuha- I suggest you leave and let me solve some personal matters.”

 

“Your personal matters concern me as well, that boy is my brother's lover!” He frowns.

 

“I don't have time, Shuichi…” He looked around and noticed Shuichi was long gone. “Shuichi is…”

 

“He's gone, that leaves you with no other choice but to keep me company.” He grinned.

 

“I'm sorry, maybe some other time.” And without another word he ran away.

 

“HEY! HEY! Sakuma-san! Sakuma-san, come back! Come back I say!” He was left behind yelling at a memory. “He just dumped me…well not like we were dating, but it was nice to pretend and dream….RYU-CHAN!!!!!!” He sat down sadly on the sideway and sighed. “Wait till Eiri hears this Shuichi, your happy days are over…but…no way! I won't tell Eiri-san, nope…that would be BAD NEWS for me. If Shuichi wants to cheat on him, that's not of my business, but…I want Ryu-chan just for me. Damn you Shuichi!”

 

 

**

 

Shuichi was hiding wishing no one will find him in a hundred years, but that was only his silly day dreaming. `Why did I say something like that? Now how can I look at Ryuichi in the eye again…he must think I'm trying to hurt him too! And what if Tatsuha tells Yuki?!!' His tears begin to flow quickly without stopping a single second. Shuichi was confused, and this confusion was breaking him in two. `I want to be with Yuki, but…I…I love Ryuichi as well. No! I don't want to say it but…this feeling in my heart…it's gotta be love. It is different from my love for Yuki, but it is indeed love, and not just friendship love. It is much more than that. Ryuichi's smile, gentleness, sweetness, support, and happiness is something I need. Now that I know his true self, not only the artist in him- I love him more. It is not just that silly crush from before I met Yuki, it is something stronger and bigger, but…my love for Yuki is also strong and so big I can't control it…I can't even resist it. But my relationship with Yuki is so difficult, not that I want to run away- I've tried many times and I'm still trying, but there's Ryuichi's love- so pure, so innocent, so open…just the way I wish Yuki was- open. I wish he could open up to me and share whatever it is we have, but…he is always locked up in his own world where no one can enter but he, and it hurts to know you're not welcome inside…I wonder if I would ever be invited to his heart? The more I try to get close is the further I get, and if I don't try I found myself further and further…is like running in circles when he is ahead. But even when I try to take the right road, I end up going the wrong way…' Shuichi was broken, even when he and Yuki were `in peace' at this moment, deep down it didn't felt at ease. Yuki was still behind his ice walls, and he was still trying too hard while he just stares from afar annoyed. “Yuki…are we meant to be, or is my heart opening a new path for me? I wonder if this feeling can end, or if it will always hunt me? I wonder if I can be truly happy with Ryuichi, or if in the end I'll end up breaking him to the point when his love turns into hate.”

 

He lay flat on the grass and sighed. “Ryuichi…what should I do? What can I say without hurting you?”

 

“The truth.” A voice Shuichi knew well replied; he heard the last sentence the pink haired singer whispered.

 

“Ryuichi!” His face turned bright read. “I-I-I-I…I'm so sorry.” He looked down ashamed. “I didn't mean what I said.”

 

“Then why you said it? Sometimes we say things we wish we haven't said, but you know what- after saying it, it is too late. There's no turning back because no clock turns back the time.”

 

“I know…I just…don't know what got into me.”

 

“Hum…if you don't know; how should I know? But you sounded…jealous.” `Or am I just dreaming again?'

 

His cheeks were bright pink once again and his eyes couldn't look straight into the blue eyes before him. “…”

 

“Silence….hum. Then you agree. You were jealous of Tatsuha-kun, because?”

 

“I just though he was molesting you; he's such a perv! He even tried to take advantage of me!” `LIAR!'

 

“He did??? He dares to touch my Shu-chan?!” Ryuichi was frowning now; there was no way he would forgive anyone hurting his dear Shuichi.

 

“Actually, he didn't go further because Yuki appeared.” He looked down sadly after seeing Ryuichi's expression because of the pronounced name- Yuki.

 

“I see…Yuki is always there to save you. Well, it's obvious you don't need me, and this conversation is completely stupid. I guess I made a fool of myself again thinking, well hoping you were actually jealous. Ha, ha! It was only obvious you'll try to protect a friend knowing Tatsuha's advances.” `I guess it's true, after all Tatsuha did try to rape me- I'm so stupid….' Both were silent for a few moments and Ryuichi started feeling uncomfortable. “Well, sayonara Shu-chan, and congratulations.”

 

“Why?” He asked confused.

 

“What do you mean? You and Yuki are back together, right?” He smiled, even when he really wanted to cry.

 

“Yes.” Shuichi whispered.

 

“Well, that is a reason to celebrate, isn't that so?” Shuichi nodded softly. “Then what are you doing here wasting your time when there is a handsome man waiting for you at home.” He winked. “Go home Shu-chan. Go and be happy, just the way you wanted.”

 

“Ryuichi…I…”

 

Ryuichi couldn't stay there any longer, so he cut him off. “See you later Shu-chan!!” He quickly ran away, waving his hand rapidly as he did, but avoid looking back. There was no way he would let Shuichi see his tears and the anguish in his eyes.

 

“I love you…” After Ryuichi was gone he managed to whisper what he couldn't say before, and after hearing what he just said Shuichi covered his mouth in disbelief. His eyes grew bigger and bigger after realizing what he just said, and in just an instance the boy turned into tears. “I love you.”

 

 

**

 

Aizawa wouldn't stop asking Hiro what his conversation with Sakuma was about, but Hiro insisted on saying nothing and smiling- he was aware of how much it irritates Taki.

 

“Fine, if you're not telling, you're out.” Taki tried to threat.

 

“You'll do me a favor.” He grinned.

 

“What would you do then?”

 

“Study…I always thought about being a doctor…since I have the brains you obviously don't.”

 

“Did you call me an idiot?” ANGER.

 

“Hey, if the shoe fits.” His smile didn't fade once.

 

“I had it with you!” He turned around. “But you know what, there's no way I'm letting you go. You belong to me Nakano Hiroshi.”

 

“Oh sure, sure…whatever.” He walked away relief and went to find K-> Aizawa followed. “Kei-chan!” Since he found him alone at the studio, he grabbed him from behind. “What are you doing tonight?”

 

“Let me think…nothing, why? Have anything in mind?” He smirked while he rubbed his hands on the read head's arms circling his waist.

 

“Maybe we can go out for a drink…and if you want, only if you want…we can spend the night…watching TV of course.” He giggled.

 

“Yeah, TV sounds entertaining….I have a video camera.” He grinned widely.

 

“Oh!” He blushed and let go of the blonde's waist. “I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff.”

 

“What are you suggesting Hiro? I only said we could see some of my home made clips.” He turned around and smile. “I have plenty of trainings on video.” Evil smirk.

 

“AH! Are you nuts? I'm not watching those crappy videos of yours!” He turned around indifferently.

 

“Gotcha!” Now he was the one grabbing Hiroshi from behind. “Of course I meant…” *Whispers* “After all, you look real good on camera.”

 

“Kei-chan!” They giggled. “I bet you look even better.”

 

At the door, two evil eyes observed in anger. `That old maniac is with MY Hiro?' He smirks and left the area. “Not for long…” (That's what he thinks.)

 

**

 

No matter what Shuichi said, Nittle Grasper's leading man couldn't stop thinking and remembering the previous events.

 

Flashback: “GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY RYU-CHAN YOU PERVERT!!!!”

 

Ryuichi grabbed his head trying to erase those words. “Shut up already! I don't want to hear it again! Please Shuichi…don't repeat it again…it hurts. It hurts so much…” No matter how much he tried, all he could think of was Shuichi's words. Those words echoed eternally like a chant in his head, repeating over and over without end. “Why can't you love me? Why can't you say you love me and not him…not Yuki Eiri. I wish…I wish…”

 

“I wish I was Yuki.” Ryuichi begin to laugh. “I wish I was Yuki so Shuichi will love me, and only me. If I were Yuki, Shuichi would only have eyes for me and no one else in the world.” He sighed. “But…I am Sakuma Ryuichi and nothing will ever change. Ryuichi Sakuma is a lonely man, an eternally lonely man.”

 

**

 

Shuichi went back home late that night; Yuki was waiting for him even when he wouldn't mention it. The truth was he was worried about him, where could he be at these hours anyway? He only wished he was NOT with Sakuma Ryuichi or he will hear him for once and for all. So when he heard the door, he prepared for him to glop at him or something, but he was expecting it anxiously even when he would act coldly toward him- that was his plan. `Act cool…you were NOT waiting for him, uh uh.'

 

But Yuki's plans were vanished when he heard the bathroom door close, and didn't hear his lover's voice echoing inside the room to call his name.

 

“What happen?” He wondered confused. `I haven't done anything wrong…then why did he ignore me?' He frowns. `He is NOT ignoring me- that's MY job!!!' He was irritated, angry, and most of all hysterical. `He was supposed to come over and beg for attention while I, Eiri Yuki, ignore him and enjoy his plea!' He typed faster and faster. `When did I become Shuichi?'

 

Minutes later Shuichi got off the shower and sat next to Yuki sadly. Now this worried Yuki even more.

 

“What is the matter?” He tried to ask casually. `I'm cool.'

 

Shuichi shrugged.

 

“Something's wrong, you're not yourself today.”

 

“That must be it.” He simply said.

 

“What do you mean by that?”

 

“I mustn't be myself today…” `That explains. Yeah, that's it. Tomorrow Yuki will be my all again.'

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Maybe if I go to bed; tomorrow everything would be back to normal.”

 

“What do you mean?” `Why do I keep asking the same question over and over?'

 

“Just that. Night Yuki.” He left the writer behind without even trying to give him a kiss, and then Yuki snapped.

 

“Hold it!” Shuichi stopped and Yuki walked over. “How about a kiss?” `Damn, that sounds desperate.'

 

“Ok.” He kissed him indifferently and continued his journey.

 

Yuki stood there frozen and confused. `That was it? How in the world…? Why am I the one asking for attention? Why am I being ignored? Why do I want more while he just walked away like nothing matters? And why am I asking myself a bunch of stupid things when my Shuichi is all down and lost? I must go over and…and what? Fuck him? That sounded great in my head, but probably won't be a good idea for him. Then how am I supposed to solve this, talking? No way!'

 

Yuki doubted and battled his conscious a hundred times before entering the room, and while he argued mentally Tatsuha walked in and stare at his brother- then he smirks. “Problems brother?”

 

“N-no! Why?” Yuki tried to act cool, but he looked worried.

 

“Never mind.” He let himself fall down on the couch. “Luck- you'll need it.” He whispered.

 

“What do you mean?” `Here I go again.'

 

“Nothing…just hope you have more luck than me, that's all.”

 

“So, you know something I don't. Just said it- you're both acting strange.”

 

“Don't compare me with him.”

 

“Definitely- I don't have bad taste.” He smirked. `And when did I become so transparent? It's totally obvious I'm a little insecure…'

 

“Then that's probably why Ryuichi doesn't like me- he just likes your Shuichi-kun.”

 

“Well, you said it- MY Shuichi, so he lost. Now, sorry but I don't have time to chat.” `My Shuichi, MY SHUICHI…why am I so possessive too? What the hell is wrong with me today, does the lack of Shuichi turned me stupid?' He stood up and walked away, but before he turns the knob of the door Tatsuha whispered.

 

“Don't feel so confident.”

 

Yuki wasn't sure if he heard what he heard, but still he walked inside the room. `What was that all about?'

 

“Shuichi?”

 

Silence.

 

Yuki sat next to him and remove a pink lock that was covering Shuichi's eyes. “He is asleep.” And then kiss his forehead. “Night.”

 

`Forgive me Yuki…I'm so afraid, so lost.'

 

**

 

Shuichi avoided Yuki the next morning by leaving very early to the studio, which made Yuki suspicious so he called Tohma just to be shocked with the news- Shuichi was working a LONG time ago.

 

“What happened to my Shuichi?” Yuki wondered confused. “He never leaves early, he never ignored me before, and…he looks so sad…where is the hyper boy I fell in love with? Where are you Shuichi….?” He silently whispered in his bedroom without knowing his young brother was eavesdropping.

 

`It's pitiful… my brother's laments are something rare, and to think I can give him the answer…but I can't. I can't give up on Ryu just yet.'

 

 

**

 

 

Ryuichi's new song was being recorded; at last Nittle Grasper started recording their first single after so long. It was different than before, all of them were older and more mature, so were the lyrics. Tohma was sure to whom those lyrics were sung, but didn't mention word.

 

`He is really in love…' Tohma though and smiled sadly thinking it was just another lonely ending for his dear friend Ryuichi. `So unfair…'

 

~I want a scar to remain on you

 shutting you in this diorama

 passing by, i shouted and tried to lash out

 yet nothing i heard exceeded my predilection

 

 even if you breathe, it isn't possible

 under these circumstances

 the love that stays strong is superior ~

 

`Shuichi…why can't you look at me the way you look at him?'

 

 ~Can't get enough, it's more than words

 don't let me down, i want it to be revealed

 one more night, even if a scar remains

 the eyes you look into were the first you saw

 

 i was only born to betray

 my lips, in the end, feel sharp

 you're lost in a cloud of meaningless reason

 in your foolish predilection ~

 

`Even whe he makes you cry, always makes you cry…you always chose him over me. Always him…'

 

~There is no longer a solid beam

 from this room

 you will quickly be rescued

 

 can't get enough of your heavy heart or face

 don't let me down, i'll wipe you clean of the pain

 one more night of true love

 will you ever be mine? ~

 

`Will you ever love me? Will you ever give me a chance to prove my love? Will you ever chose me over him? Will you? Will you?'

 

~Even when it began

 it was lost

 this game doesn't seem to end - will it?

 

 can't get enough, it's more than words

 don't let me down, i want it to be revealed

 one more night, even if a scar remains

 the eyes you look into were the first you saw ~

 

`I wish I came in first, maybe…maybe that would've made the difference, but I'm always last. Shuichi, please give me a chance. Let me let free my love for you. Only for you…who am I kidding- I lost from the start.'

 

 

After a few hours they took a break - the song was practically done.

 

“I can't believe how fast we worked that out!” Noriko smiled. “But I'm happy we are back together. I love that song Ryu-chan! It's so sad, but pretty at the same time.”

 

“Arigato.” He smiled, he was glad the three of them were back together.

 

“I'm going for lunch, you guys want to come?” The blonde asked to his friends.

 

“Yeah!” Norio quickly grabbed his arm and gesture the singer to follow. “Come on Ryu-chan!”

 

“I'll catch up with you guys later; I have something to do first.” He gave them a sweet smile, and they left without asking further- they wanted to respect Ryuichi's privacy since he was the one to ask for new treatment.

 

“Ok.” Both left knowing he won't meet up with them anytime soon.

 

He turn off the lights, made a phone call, and then text someone:

 

Ready!

 

He hid and waited for long minutes until two men entered the recording studio. `Great!' He though happily.

 

Just after they entered, the discussion begins…

 

“Look I'm tired of you and your constant stalking, not to mention arrogant, stupid, and selfish attitude. Besides I don't even like your music.” The read head explained.

 

“What do you mean, Nakano-san?”

 

“What do you think? Are you listening at all? I'm sick of you!”

 

“So?”

 

“I quit.” Hiroshi smiled.

 

“You can't do that and you know it.”

 

“Why not? I'm free, and I haven't signed any contract yet. So I can go and join the band I like the most, and guess what band is that?”

 

“Don't tell me; let me guess…Bad Luck?”

 

“Bingo! You are not that dumb after all.” He smirks.

 

Taki begins to laugh and then got serious all of a sudden. “You can't quit ASK because if you do, I'll make sure your dear Shuichi's pretty face ends up disfigured or worse…dead.”

 

“You wouldn't.”

 

“I wouldn't? Did you forget already what I did to him last time? Did you forget the way he looked that night after I beat the hell out of him?”

 

“Oh, you mean the day you kidnapped him and kick him until he lost consciousness?”

 

“Exactly.”

 

Hiro then begins to laugh. “You are really the biggest idiot on Earth.” He begins to walk away.

 

“Hey! What are you doing! I'm telling you- I won't be gentle this time…I'll kill him for sure!”

 

“No you won't, your act is over…by now all Japan knows the real Aizawa Taki.”

 

“What…?” He was clueless.

 

 Ryuichi got out of his hideout and smiled. “That's right, there's no way we would let you hurt Shu-chan. You though Hiro would be your puppet forever? Think again, he's smart not like you…falling into our trap so easily.”

 

“Trap?” Taki's face sweat and looked around. “You're making it up, aren't ya?” He chuckled. “Good one, Sakuma, Nakano…I got to admit its pretty convincing.”

 

“You think we're bluffing?” Hiro smiled and turn on the TV on the back- and he saw his face at that exact moment. Surprise, surprise Taki…”

 

“Congratulations, you made it- you are all over the news. You most be the most talk about person in Japan right now…sayonara.” Both left behind a fallen Aizaka.

 

“It can't…be. No. NO. NO. NOOOO!”

 

**

 

Ryuichi and Hiro were standing on the hallway silently when Sakuma placed his hand on Hiro's shoulder. “Go to him. Go and take care of him for me, ok?”

 

Hiro nodded and turn around to face him. “Arigato Sakuma-san.” He bows low. “I couldn't do it without you.”

 

“Just promise to keep being his best friend and protecting him.”

 

“I will.” He ran in to Bad Luck's studio where they were rehearsing a new song. Shuichi's eyes grew wider when he saw his best friend's face showing up in the studio just like that.

 

`Hiro…what is he…?'

 

“Shuichi…” He looked inside the purple gaze he loved and missed so much, and then smiled. “I'm finally home…with you guys. I'm sorry I took that long…something came up and I had to handle it by myself, but now…I just need another chance.”

 

“Hiro…!” Shuichi's eyes were already dripping all over the place and in less than a second he was in his best friend's arms. “Hiro! Hiro!”

 

“It's ok…I'm sorry.” Hiroshi held him tightly while his eyes betrayed him and gave up some tears.

 

Suguro wasn't THAT happy, for him Hiroshi was only a traitor, so he spit it out. “How can you be so happy after all he did to us? Don't you remember when he left? He said nothing to us, why welcome him with open arms just like nothing ever happen?”

 

Shuichi turned around and smiled to him. “Because Hiro is my best friend and I know he never really left Bad Luck.”

 

“Shuichi…” Hiro smiled overwhelmed.

 

“You are just stupid! He may leave again!” Suguru didn't give up so fast.

 

“I won't. Shuichi and I made this band together, so…it is not the same if the album comes out without me. Besides, Shuichi's song without my guitar will only suck.” He grinned.

 

“HIRO!!!” The singer nudges him playfully.

 

K smiled. “Enough chatting already- GET TO WORK!!!” Gun pointing at Hiro's face. “Especially you- you need to catch up!”

 

“Hai!” Hiro agreed and quickly turn around to go get his guitar.

 

“Wait!” Hiro turned around once again to face the blonde manager he knows so well. “Welcome back.” And he winked while he smirked.

 

“Arigato.” He winks back.

 

`I'm so glad…we'll be together longer now.' K blushed slightly after his thoughts, but no one noticed.

 

**

 

Yuki was silently watching the news when he saw what happened. “So he did it again…Sakuma Ryuichi move ahead of me. How come I'm always the last to know everything about Shuichi.” He frowns. “If I knew…I would've killed that Aizawa…for sure, I would.”

 

“Just give it up Eiri-san…Sakuma-san…well Sakuma-san won. He won.”

 

“You mean this time.”

 

Yuki's younger brother took his time to answer, and totally unconvinced said: “…Sure.”

 

`…am I doing the right thing?'

 

Yuki eyed him suspiciously. “You know something- now spit it out!”

 

“I don't!” He tried to evade him.

 

“Tell me- NOW!” His eyes were focus on him with that scary look.

 

He gulped. “O…k.” He begins. “I think…I think Shuichi loves Sakuma-san…he may be cheating on you.”

 

“…” Yuki was serious but speechless.

 

“I'm not sure, but yesterday…” Yuki's eyes were sad, so Tatsuha shut up.

 

“Yesterday?” His voice was gloomy but he wanted to hear it all.

 

“Yesterday he made a scene in an ice-cream shop. He was pissed because Ryuichi was with me.” He nodded.

 

“You're making it up- it was probably just your imagination.” He was on denial.

 

“Eiri!”

 

“I said it was only your imagination. Shuichi wouldn't cheat on me!” He was furious, just to think of the possibility made him angry, but must of all broken.

 

“I'm not making it up! He…he…”

 

“Shut up already!” He slaps him. “It's a lie! You just want to laugh at me.”

 

“Why would I do that?”

 

“Because Sakuma Ryuichi ignored you, so you want me to be unhappy too.”

 

“Heh! You don't know me at all bro. The truth was said, believe it or not, but if you hear Shuichi yell at me: Get your hands off my Ryu-chan, what would you think?” Yuki didn't answer and Tatsuha left him alone with his thoughts.

 

`Shuichi…you…you didn't. You didn't say that, right? You only have eyes for me…just for your dear Yuki- like always. Just for Yuki…'

 

 

**

 

Notes: The lyrics Ryuichi is singing are from the translation of Predilection, a Nittle Grasper song on the Sound Story III- sung by Yamaguchi Kappei. =^.^=