Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Torn In-Between Two Worlds ❯ Thoughts ( Chapter 6 )

Later on in the day, Shuichi awoke to movement.

 

`What's going on?' he thought groggily. He looked at Ryuichi, who was moving in his sleep. Ryuichi mumbled something incoherent and fell back asleep. Shuichi smiled as he watched his love sleep. He remembered earlier in the day and blushed. He loved Ryuichi and wanted to be with him, but there was still Yuki to take account of. Shuichi furrowed his brows in concentration. He knew Yuki loved him, but to what extent? Yuki couldn't be counted on to remain faithful. Yuki had cheated on Shuichi so many times Shuichi lost track of how many. He didn't want to think about anything. He just wanted to curl back up in Ryuichi's arms and sleep, but he knew he couldn't.

 

He had to make his decision on which he wanted to be with. Yuki and Ryuichi were both nice in their own way. Yuki was cruel and cold on the outside, but Shuichi knew that Yuki was a softie on the inside. Ryuichi was a softie both in and out and would love him no matter what. Yuki smiled every once in a while. Sure, the sex was great, but that didn't make up for the yelling and randomly getting kicked out of the house. Ryuichi would never yell at him, never call him names. Shuichi turned around in Ryuichi's arms to face the wall and sighed. What to do? Shuichi loved them both dearly.

 

Shuichi looked over his shoulder and smiled at Ryuichi's still sleeping face. He looked so peaceful and content. Finally after staring at Ryuichi for a while, Shuichi made a decision, he would stay with Ryuichi. He wanted to be loved and for his lover to show that love to him.

 

“Shu-chan?” Shuichi heard Ryuichi mumble. He turned back around in Ryuichi's arms to face him and smile at him.

 

“Yes?” Shuichi answered.

 

“Are you okay?” Ryuichi asked.

 

“Of course I'm okay. I feel even better than before. I'm just thinking about things.” Shuichi replied. Ryuichi suddenly went serious and his deep cobalt eyes stared into Shuichi's violet ones.

 

“About what?” Ryuichi was sort of worried, but he was curious also.

 

“About whether I should be with you or not. But I made a decision that I would stay with you…that is…if you would have me.” Shuichi blushed and broke eye contact with Ryuichi, fearing Ryuichi would turn him down. He gasped in shock when Ryuichi hugged him and kissed his cheek.

 

“Of course I would! You don't have to worry about that.” Ryuichi smiled and brought Shuichi into a deep passionate kiss. Shuichi kissed back but pulled away when he felt like a cough was coming on. Shuichi turned his body and coughed into his hand looking at the small flecks of blood in his palm.

 

`I guess I have to tell him.' Shuichi thought, sighing deeply.

 

“Ryuichi, I have something to tell you.” Shuichi began, sitting up out of Ryuichi's embrace. Ryuichi stared at Shuichi's palm, worried all over again. What was happening to his love?

 

“From what I've heard, I have a bleeding ulcer from stress and other things. I have to take antibiotics for this, so please don't worry about me, all right? I just wanted you to know that.” Shuichi smiled slightly and looked around the room for a box of Kleenex or something close to that. He soon spotted it on a table in the far right corner of the room and stood up to get a tissue. Ryuichi say on the hospital bed taking in the words Shuichi had said.

 

`What can I do to help him??' Ryuichi thought to himself. Shuichi was going through this mess, and here he was, unable to do anything about it. God, he felt so helpless! Ryuichi's hands tightened on the covers until his knuckles turned white. Shuichi turned around after wiping his mouth and hands off to see Ryuichi looking miserable. Somehow he knew what Ryuichi was thinking and smiled.

 

“There is nothing you CAN do. I have to do this on my own.” Shuichi told Ryuichi. He didn't want to be babied anymore. People helped him and done things for him in the past, and now he's tired of it. He could understand where Ryuichi was coming from. Shuichi walked back over to Ryuichi and smiled at him softly, running his fingers through Ryuichi's hair. Ryuichi stared into Shuichi's eyes and pouted a little. Shuichi giggled and sighed, sitting back down on the bed and holding onto Ryuichi's hand. A knock was heard on the door and a nurse poked her head in.

“Sorry to disturb you two, but visiting hours are over.” She said, blushing. Both Ryuichi and Shuichi pouted at the same time and the nurse left. Shuichi turned to look at Ryuichi and smiled.

 

“I'll see you tomorrow?” Shuichi asked, already knowing the answer. Ryuichi smiled and nodded.

 

“You bet.” He replied, standing up and giving Shuichi a chaste kiss before walking out the door. Once Ryuichi was gone, Shuichi's smile faded. He was alone in his room… again.

 

`When am I going to tell Yuki?' Shuichi wondered. He worried about what Yuki would say, what he would think. He didn't want to do this. He was too scared.

 

`I guess you still want to be babied after all.' A voice in his head chided at him.

 

“I do not.” Shuichi retorted, offended by the comment.

 

`You're too weak to talk to your ex-lover by yourself. That's why you want someone to talk to him FOR you.' The voice grew angry. Shuichi shook his head in an attempt to get the voice away. It didn't work.

 

`You lie about everything. You even lied to your poor honey, Ryuichi.' Shuichi could hear the laughter in its voice. He curled up in a ball and held his head in his hands. At its comment, Shuichi glared and he heard the voice laughing inside his head.

 

”I would NEVER lie to him!” Shuichi yelled out.

 

`Liar…' The voice faded away, leaving Shuichi to his own thoughts. He sat there, shaking his head and a tear fell down his face.

 

“I'm not lying… I would never tell a lie to Ryuichi… He trusts me…” Shuichi kept muttering to himself as if to convince himself he was telling the truth…