Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Unbroken ❯ A night to forget ( Chapter 1 )

Pairings: YukixShuichi

Warnings: Language, rape, yaoi. Shuichi POV(is that really a warning?)

Disclaimer: All I own are my Gravi DVD's. I do not own the show itself. I just watch it religiously. XD

FYI(Read please): Okie dokey, there are a few things I need to say. First off, this fic takes place during the end of episode 6 and part of 7. I've also taken some liberties with this as well. I know that Shuichi doesn't have any cuts or brusies in epi. 6 & 7, however in accordance to what had happened to him, I added that aspect in. Also, I've made Shuichi a bit more...sarcastic and witty in this.

~*Unbroken*~

My body crashed down into the pavement. Fuck it hurt. I layed still on the ground, panting. My body stung with the cuts and scrapes it had, blood seeping out of the broken skin. I gritted my teeth so hard I thought my jaw would break.

I glared at Aizawa. He was looking at me, with this sort of, preditory gleam. I sunk back without knowing it. "I'm giving you one last chance," I wanted to cover my ears. Shut up, shut up! One last chance? For what? For me to back down and quit Bad Luck so you can have all the glory?

"Give it up Shindo, or I'm going to make sure Yuki Eiri comes down with you." At the mention of Yuki's name, I felt even angrier. "He has nothing to do with this!" I shouted at him, even though I knew he wouldn't listen. We'd been here in this parking lot for what seemed like forever, him trying to get me to back down, and me refusing...and I kept getting beaten up for it too. I told him I'd rather die then back down, and he seemed more then happy to make that arrangement.

I was yanked up, half by my hair and half by my shirt. He smirked, mocking me. "I will let you go, if you just back down Shindo." For a spilt second, I let myself believe him. Believe that if I did back down, everything would be okay. But then, a pair of cold gold eyes flashed in my face, and I was determined not to give up.

Shindo Shuichi never ever gives up.

"Have it your way." he glared at me. I snarled at him, hoping with all my might that he'd just let me go. Honestly, did he think I wanted to get my ass kicked?

Pain exploded in the back of my neck and then my stomach, followed by more pain in my legs and back. Shit, that hurt. It kept getting worse as each second ticked by. I glared at my attackers, not really willing to say anything, as I knew nothing I could say would help me out. Like they'd really listen to 'Stop it! You're hurting me!' I just know their response would be 'That's the point dumbass.'

I hate my life.

I recieved another swift kick in my stomach and it sent me flying into the ground. I groaned. "He is kinda cute," I heard someone say... I didn't know who because my face was currently shoved into the asphalt.

"Hey, lets see just what kind of ass Yuki Eiri is getting." that comment was followed by loud cheers and shouts. I gulped...They weren't serious, were they? All at once, their hands were all over me. Not hurting me, but stripping me.

I froze. This couldn't be happening! It was...impossible! Could Aizwa really go this far? I wanted to stand up and run for it, but, there were three of them, and one of me. Fat chance in hell I'd be going anywhere.

I was roughly pulled up onto my knees. I could feel tiny pebbles lodge themselves in my skin. I bit back the pain invasion. My mind was spinning, causing my head to feel light and dizzy. I could hear voices all around me. I shook my head, trying to clear it, as I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye.

There, I saw Aizawa with an unreadable expression on his face. I wanted to call out to him. Ask him, why he was doing this to me. Why he needed to go this far. I was naked and on my knees. The asphalt was digging mercelessly into my already cut skin. I whimpered, my eyes begging for help.

It was then that someone roughly shoved themselves inside of me. My world had exploded into pain. I felt like my body was being ripped in half from the inside out. Like someone was gouging out my insides with a spoon. Someone's hand came up and covered my mouth.

"Shut up!" it was hissed in my ear. I could tell it was whoever raping me, because his voice was husky and breathless. I wanted to scream, but I felt a blunt object being pressed against my temple. I wanted to puke. My eyes closed, my mouth was wide open, yet no sound came out. I didn't want to ever open my eyes again. I was too afraid of what I might see.

And yet, seconds later, I forced my eyes open when a bright flash seemed to have enveloped me. I was so disoriented, that I had no idea what it was. I turned my head and saw Aizawa there again, smirking at me.

And then...he walked away. I felt hollow. As hopeless at the situation may have been, seeing him walk away killed any chance at all I had of escaping. The world of the parking lot began to fuzz, black spots filling my eyes, loud ringing in my ears.

He was pounding in and out of me, over and over. I felt like a used rag doll. I tired to dull out the pain and just concentrate on not passing out. God only knows what they'd do if I *wasn't* awake.

I was on my hands and knees like a dog, the bright florescent lights casting shadows over me. It began to feel surreal. Almost like I had stepped out of my body and was watching from a distance. That is, until I felt whoever was inside me stiffin and pull out, making me whirl back into the black reality of the parking lot.

I realized that the cold object that was pressed against my temple, was a gun. They had a gun with them, they might use it...

I sunk low to the ground, heaving. I could feel my blood running down my thighs. But I knew it wasn't just blood. There was semen too. I had to shut my eyes tightly. My stomach churned and convulsed. I could feel the acid rise and bubble in my mouth. I had no choice but to let it out.

I heaved onto the pavement, in painful spasms. The fact that I had just been raped made the convulsions harder. Made my eyes well up. I wanted to cry. I really did. I could feel the tears gathering, threatening to spill. I pushed them back. I wouldn't give them the sick satisfaction of making me cry.

But I could sure as hell puke my guts all over them.

I was stark naked and freezing cold, my body was trembling. I made an incohearent sound in the back of my throat, almost like a gurgle. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't make my voice work.

Yuki...where are you? That thought ran through my head like a hyperactive child. Over and over and over again. I heard voices all around me, and I shook violently.

Once my stomach stopped squeezing itself, I had the frame of mind to listen to what they were saying. There was nothing but silence. I didn't know where they were. Seconds passed and then I heard movement around me. Before I could even blink, someone else went for their turn. I knew it was a different person, as sick as it may sound, because he was smaller. But that sure as hell didn't make the pain any less.

Didn't he know how much it hurt? Didn't he understand what he was doing to me? Didn't he have any deceny at all? Any?!

My face grew red from anger, and a surge of aderenaline pumped through me. But not enough I guess. I tried to escape, tried to kick and push, but like I said: Three of them, one of me.

I was shoved back down onto my knees, making them hurt ten times worse then they already were. I felt so helpless. I resorted to the only thing I could; I screamed. My voice finally decided to work, and so I kept screaming until I felt the second one tense and cry out in my ear.

God oh god oh god. I felt so sick, so violated. I wanted to die. Again, I vometed on the pavement. I no longer had any food left in my system, so I was throwing up my stomach acid. It stung, it made me puke harder. The smell was so repulsive. It wasn't just the smell of my vomit, it was the smell of semen and blood. I gave a violent shudder, a dry sob forcing its way out of my throat.

He pulled out harshly, and I fell to the ground. I could no longer support my body weight. I heard zippers flying up and quiet talking, then shouting. "C'mon! Just try him!" I heard someone yell. I prepared myself mentally. One more to go. I felt my stomach lurch again. I knew I was going to be sick, so I just concentrated on the color of the black pavement until it passed.

"No...let's just get outta here!" the relief I felt could have moved the earth. I stayed perfectly still though, not entirely trusting what my ears told me. I didn't move at all. I heard feet shuffling and scurrying around. My clothes were suddenly thrown beside me in a heap. I could hear their footsteps as they ran. It was a hollow echo in my ears.

I didn't so much as breathe until I was certain they were gone. I don't know how long I stayed there, not moving. It could have been minutes, hours, seconds. But all I knew is when I finally did sit up, it was completly pitch black outside.

My clothes were pretty much intact, minus the odd rip or scratch. I put my shirt on first and nearly passed out. It hurt! After a few deep breaths I placed my underwear on, grimacing as they encountered blood and...other bodily fluids.

I slipped on my shorts, but I was apprihensive about my socks and shoes. I would have to bend over for that. My body screamed in protest as I moved, but ignore it I did. I think that was mostly possible because my body was in a state of shock. Thank god for that. I made quick work of the remaing items, vowing to myself that I could do this.

Why did this happen? Why me? Was it because I'm a guy? Because I love a cold hearted bastard of a romance writer? Maybe because I stuck with my music. Maybe I should have gone onto better things. Gone to University and gotten myself a nice job at the Mistsubishi factory!

...I decided quickly that debating the 'how' and 'why' wasn't getting me anywhere. I needed to get somewhere. The first place I thought of was Hiro's. My best bud, who's always there for me, no matter what. It's a wonder to me why I didn't fall in love with him. I guess I'm just crazy like that.

I walked sloppily in the rain. It pounded down onto me. It seemed angry, just like I was. When I reached my destination, I remember falling down into a puddle. I just couldn't walk anymore. I couldn't move. It hurt so much.

I felt bad for calling him, but I needed help. "Hiro...I can't move..." my voice was but a whisper. My voice was raw. I was raw, my soul was raw. "What's wrong?" What did I tell him? I just got raped? I couldn't say it...

I remember when I saw his face, how relieved I was. I knew I was safe now. I knew it would be okay.

We walked -well he walked, I limped- into his small apartment. The second the door was shut, questions were flying all around me. My brain felt like it had been hit by lightening. I swear I could feel it oozing out of my ears. Ignoring him, I just went and sat on his couch(with much difficulty and pain). I heard him retreat into his bathroom.

It was so nice and peaceful here. In Hiro's small home. I noted that it smelled really nice. Spicy and flowery at the same time. Funny, I've never noticed it before.

I saw his gutiar leaning against the same couch I was on, happily waiting for its owner to come back to it. I wondered if Yuki felt like that. Did he miss me? Did he want me back with him? I mentally kicked myself where it hurt for thinking like that.

How...stupid of me. He was probably enjoying himself. Happy in his silence. Happy to not have to deal with stupid me anymore. Maybe he was out buying cigarettes with a lighter heart, knowing I wouldn't be there when he got home.

But still...there was this small part of my brain that kept telling me, maybe, just maybe, he was out buying cigarettes with a heavier heart, knowing I wouldn't be there when he got home.

I lolled my head to the side. I told you my brain was mush.

"Shuichi...Are you okay?" I felt Hiro touch me, and instinct kicked in. I leaped up and hit him on the way. Damnit...Shouldn't have done that. I felt myself sway dangerously to the side. Hiro was on me before I could blink an eye.

The logical side of my brain was doing its best to calm me down. It was just Hiro. It was just Hiro. It was just Hiro. "It's okay, it's me Shuichi. It's just me." hearing him say that, I calmed down and leaned into him.

I walked blindly with him until I could feel steam hit me like a heatwave. I cracked open my eyes and found myself in his bathroom. He had let go of me and was leaning against a wall, arms crossed. I looked a little beyond him and found his bathtub filled with water. How did he know I needed to be cleaned?

I turned to the full body length mirror. I was covered in dirt, some caked on, some not. Cuts and bruises decorated my arms, face, and legs. Little dribbles of blood were everywhere, most of it dried. I grimaced as I thought of what was under my clothes. I felt sick again. A bath sounded real good about now.

Now, I know this may sound stupid, but I couldn't undress with Hiro there. Sure, we've been best buds for a long time, and I've been naked in front of him more times then I'd like to count...but I just couldn't bring myself to undress in front of him.

Instead, I just stood there; like some stupid moron afraid of the invisible squirrles, playing with the hem of my shirt. Hiro turned his head and looked me. I could see what he was thinking, like it was written on his forehead. It said: 'What the hell Shuichi?'

I just gulped and looked at the floor. Luckily for me, Hiro must be a mind reader, as he silently left the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. I thanked god that I had such a great friend. It gave me something to smile about, even if it was for only a few seconds.

Undressing was harder then putting the clothes on. My entire body felt like it had been trampled by a herd of rabid elk. I groaned in pain as I lifted my shirt over my head. My arms stung with sharp pains. It hurt to breathe. I bit my lip and slid my shorts off, making small stiff movements as I stepped out of them.

I grimaced, hooking my fingers into the rim of my boxers. They were stuck to my body. I took a deep breath and pushed them down. As my body bent over a little, I nearly screamed. I stood up straight quickly, trying not to fall over.

Finally, through some wriggling, I managed to get them off. They were completely soaked through. I panicked, taking a quick glance to my shorts. I was relieved when I found they weren't stained at all. At least something could be salvaged.

I looked down at my feet. I didn't even want to think about the pain I'd have if I tried to take my socks off. So, I just left them on.

The water wasn't scalding hot, but it was far from lukewarm. I sighed, half from pain and half from comfort, as I sat down, keeping my eyes trained away from my body. I stretched myself out and sunk under the water, holding my breath tight.

It felt so good, feeling the liquid just envelope me. It felt like I was in a warm fuzzy blanket in the middle of winter. The water felt even better over my face, washing away dirt and blood. My lungs screamed at me for air...and for a second, I wanted to ignore them. I wanted to just keep holding my breath until my heart stopped.

I was considering it, until I heard a muffled knock, followed by a muffled voice. "Shuichi? Can I come in?" I couldn't do that to Hiro. Not after all he's done for me. I couldn't do that to Yuki... I plugged my nose and came up for air, smoothing my hair back.

"Co--come in!" my voice sounded like a frog had crawled up in my throat and died. As the door opened, I instantly sunk back in the water and gripped the edge so hard my knuckles were white. I couldn't hide myself from him in water. I felt helpless again, but forced myself to stay calm.

"Can I sit here?" he pointed to a spot right in front of the tub and I nodded. It actually made me feel a bit calmer, and I released the edge of the tub. We were silent for a few minutes, before he spoke up. He was facing me, and I could just see all the questions lurking inside his eyes.

"Will you tell me what happened?" I was shocked a bit. I was expecting a million questions, but instead he asked me just one. Maybe he figured that because I didn't answer the million and one questions the first time, I wouldn't answer them period. I guess one question was good enough for him...but that's probably because it asked everything.

I tired to be strong, I really did. Tears were welling up again, and this time I let them fall. And once the first one fell, the flood gates opened. I burst out into tears, all the while trying to tell him my story. It came out sounding like a bawling three-year-old telling his mommy how he fell and scraped his knee. I gave up and just settled on crying. Hiro seemed to settle for that too. He hugged me, and I sobbed into his shoulder.

I don't know how long it was before I stopped, but when I did, my eyes were puffy and red and the water was getting cold. It hurt to move my eyes, so I just blinked a few times before I could look at Hiro. He hugged me tight and handed me a bar of soap. "Here," he smiled, ruffling my hair. There was a huge wet spot on his shirt and I blushed. He didn't seem to notice. He just walked out of the bathroom again.

I was thankful to be alone...having to clean myself and all. I lathered up the soap and washed down my upper body first and then my lower. I was thankful that most of what had been there, either washed off on its own, or was soaked enough that it didn't require hard scrubbing.

Don't get me wrong, as much as I'd like to have taken a metal brush and scrubbed myself until I was inside out, I didn't think it would help Hiro or I that much. I settled for washing myself over and over. About five times to be exact.

I stood up to drain the water and winced. It had a nasty brownish-red color tinging it. Again, I felt my stomach churn, but I quickly ignored it and drained the water. I then pulled the shower curtian closed and turned on the shower head.

I washed my hair and face a few times...and my body again. By the time I was done, Hiro had no hot water left. I felt bad, but there wasn't much I could do about it.

I was relieved to find a towel, a pair of clean boxers and a tank top set out for me. As soon as I began drying myself off, I realized I still had my socks on. I slipped out of them and didn't even realize that there was little pain until I placed on the tank top. The hot bath helped more then I thought. At least my muscles weren't as sore.

When I was dried and dressed, I wrung out my socks and folded them neatly with my towel. It was then that I realized my dirty clothes weren't around. Hiro must have taken them to be laundered. When had he done all this? I dismissed the thought and went to the mirror again, taking myself in.

My eyes looked like they were straight out the 'Dry Eyes' commericals. That is, red and puffy. My skin was pale, but thankfully, my face was alright. Under my clothes I was bruised and cut. I sighed and rested my head on the cool surface of the mirror. My mind wandered to Yuki. What if I had gone to him instead? Would he have been home? Would he have taken care of me? Or maybe...he would have made it worse...

I just stopped that train of thought before it went somewhere I didn't want it to be. I picked up my towel and socks and walked out. As I entered the main room, I could smell something good, so I wandered into the tiny kitchen and found him making some tea. God, thank you. I loved my tea and I could sure use a cup right about now. I wanted to ask him where to put my towel...but I didn't want to look rude, so I carried it with me. Thankfully though, I saw the landery basket with my other clothes sitting beside his bed.

Once free of my things, I sat down on his couch, and this time it didn't hurt so bad. He came out a few minutes later with two cups of tea. He sat down infront of me casually, and sipped at his cup. I gulped mine. It was hot, but it felt so good burning down my throat and into my stomach. Can't tell you why, it just did.

"Will you...tell me?" he asked again, as I knew he would. This time, I was determined not to cry. I set down my cup on the coffee table, afraid I might break it if I got too upset. "Hiro," I began, not really too sure how to start. What did I say? "Just tell me what happened Shuichi." he coaxed me, placing his cup down beside mine. He waited paitently. I decided to tell him step by step.

"I met Aizawa at the train station this evening...and he took me back to his place for some drinks." I saw Hiro tense as I said this, clenching his hands. My own hands were shaking, so I clasped them together.

"I was...starting to think he wasn't such a bad guy...until," Until what? What did I call them? Goons? Thugs? Rapists? "Three guys came out and...and I knew he was going to pull something. He brought me out into an empty parking lot and...threatened me." I could see him tense. "What did they say?" he hissed. I winced at the tone of his voice. "Aizawa...he wanted me to quit Bad Luck, to leave it all alone so he could be...number one in Japan...He told me if I didn't, he would bring Yuki into this..." my voice shook painfully. I was doing my best not to cry.

I glanced to Hiro. He was fuming. His eyes were so angry...

By this time I was chewing on the inside of my lip so bad it was bleeding. I swallowed the knot in my throat and ploughed on. "Th-they roughed me up a bit..." my voice cracked, tears were spilling out again. Hiro reached out and took my hand, giving it a squeeze. I looked at him, I didn't want to talk about it. He just looked back...I knew I didn't have a choice. This was the moment of truth. Could I really say it?

"I was...raped." My voice was barely above a whisper. I then burst out in tears again, holding my head in my hands. In an instant he was up and holding me. "Shhh..." he tried to calm me, making these tiny soothing noises. Unfortunatly, they didn't work at all. I just kept crying. "They even had a gun with them!" I sobbed, still hiding my face in my hands.

"Can you," he paused "Can you tell me the rest?" I could tell by the tone of his voice he felt bad for asking, but he needed to know. I just decided to spit it out and make it eaiser on the both of us. If he wanted details, he could ask later. "...When they...finished I-- they just left me alone in the parking lot...and I came here." I was relived. It was over.

I felt him nod a bit and hold me tighter. At least I was safe now. At least I didn't need to worry...

As the rain poured on outside, a brilliant flash of lightening blinded me. And then I remembered the flash, and it clicked in my head. "Hiro!" I grabbed onto his shoulders, my eyes were as wide as saucers. "Aizawa! He took a picture! He took a picture of me being--" I cut off. My eyes were locked with his. I could see anger in his face. I could see sadness too.

I hid my head and sobbed into his chest. He held onto me tightly and rocked me slowly, stroking my hair and back.

The last thing I remember, was feeling how warm his chest was. How comforting his arms were around me. And wishing to god that it was Yuki.

TBC.