Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ White Destiny ❯ White Destiny ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: * cough * I do NOT, I repeat, I do NOT own gravitation or any of the characters used in this story. I used the same title as the opening song for the anime Pretear, but the lyrics that are included in this song are mine, and mine alone. If I by chance am surfing the net and find my song lyrics up I will be a sad panda and will flame and junk. I hate that!! ><

White Destiny

The sun was fading into the darkness of the night; the soft light from the moon glittered over the freshly fallen powder snow. Nothing seemed to be stirring as I ran over the sidewalk. This was unusual for Tokyo. Tokyo is known as the city that never sleeps.

I wanted to get home quickly. I knew Yuki would be home because he told me that he wasn't going home for Christmas. Meaning I wasn't going to be heading home for Christmas. Yuki is the bright spot in my day, and he is my inspiration for my music. It's amazing how my emotions can inspire me to write, its amazing how one person can do so much.

I huffed from lack of breath as I slowed my pace down once I turned the corner. I was less than a block away from our apartment building. It was awesome of Tohma to allow everyone to go home early for Christmas. Tohma is the boss of my record company that produces my CD's. I think it is because he wants to see Yuki. Mika, Tohma's wife, is Yuki's older sister, and she must be thinking that Yuki is going to come home. She's wrong; Yuki is going to be all mine this year.

My heart fluttered every time I thought about Yuki being mine for Christmas. Actually my heart didn't flutter it soared. I love Yuki with all my heart and finally being able to be alone with him makes everything so much more wonderful.

I couldn't really think of anything to get Yuki. I mean what is there to get a writer? Sure buy him a book! At least that was my first thought, but what does someone get a writer? Instead I wrote a song for him. I know that Yuki says that my writing ability is shit; I guess that is because his writing is amazing. I lack the emotion and skill that he has. So I took it upon myself to consult the best songwriter in the world, Sakuma Ryuichi.

When anyone deals with Sakuma Ryuichi he or she need to keep in mind that he is thirty-one years old, and he acts as though he is five. Ryuichi is whom I used to shape my personality after. Before I listened to his music and researched who he was, I was just an empty shell with nothing to live for. So much has changed since that time. When I was younger, I am currently nineteen; I cut my shaggy brown hair, and pierced my ear three times to match my looks to his. There was still something missing, I was missing the ability to sing. I tried for years to match his singing style, but in that time I found something that was more of my style, rock.

It was quite hard for me to ask him to help me, since he has all ready helped me so much. That is he has helped me over come fears that I had about myself, and he has taught me to write my music from my heart. Not to mention that he is my god, but I looked at it this way. People ask their gods for help, so why can't I ask mine? The one person I knew would help my in perfecting the song for Yuki.

It isn't much writing a song for Yuki, or even recording it. He was just going to call it shit anyways. My heart sunk and my walking pace only slowed more. I knew the cold reality of being his lover. I needed to take his hard criticism, and deal with it. Most of the time I could do this, but I worked so hard on this song. I don't know if I could take it. My fragile heart would shatter as though porcelain had been dropped to the frozen ground.

As I walked through the streetlights, my vision flickered from the changing light. Lyrics of the song flashed through my head as I walked.

The sunset is beautiful,

Within my soul I know I am not alone.

Although nothing is said

Destiny brought us together that day

I felt eternity in your eyes.

My hand balled up into a fist as I continued to walk. I could see the building coming closer to me. It was dark inside, but I knew that he was home. My thoughts were still racing along with my heart. Was he even going to get me anything? What if I wasted my time? I seem to have become quite the pessimist of the relationship. All I really wanted was for him to finally tell me that he loves me. Sometimes I think that is too much to ask.

I stopped at the wall of the apartment building. Leaning against the wall I set my head against the ice-cold cement. I looked to the black sky that was speckled with the white flakes of snow. My eyes closed half way as I slid down the wall; my shirt crept up my back as I fell. The black and white sky seemed to slip further from my grasp. I had fallen into the slump that I tried so hard to prevent. Why does it always have to be this way? I think about Yuki and my heart either aches or it soars.

My thoughts drifted back to the song that I had on my mind. I still hadn't finished it, but I still had two more days till the deadline. Once I got into a slump there was little I could do. There was something different about this slump. It was as though I could write a thousand words. My cold lips parted as warm breath protruded over them. The warmth was refreshing.

"White destiny…. how does the snow do this to me?" I look at my hands and laughed. I had gone crazy.

I stood shaking myself off and laughed still. I could be such an idiot sometimes. I am sure that Yuki will realize the amount of effort I put into this song and manage to stifle out a few words of comfort, and encouragement. How sweet they would sound to my ears. The delightful thoughts of him speaking these simple words thrilled me. I smiled and threw my fists in the air.

"Shuichi keep up the great work!" I yelled as I went into the apartment building. The snow began to melt just like the thoughts of him hating the song. I smiled as I fumbled with the keys in my pocket, once getting my grasp on them I opened the door and came in shutting it with a click behind me. I loved the element of surprise.

I neatly put my shoes in the doorway and crept inside the apartment. It was as black as the night sky, which is without the snow. I could hear the clicking coming from his office. His book was supposed to come out in a week. He must be editing it, or starting a new book. He always seemed to be writing something. I peered through the crack of the door.

His golden hair, his placid face, the cigarette dangling from his cherry red lips, and the soft light from the laptop screen; this was Yuki Eiri. This was the man I had fallen so deeply in love with. The thinly rimmed black glasses covered his golden eyes that pierce my soul. He never seemed to smile. This killed me. I had seen him smile once or twice, but that was only for a second, a second that will forever be imprinted into my mind.

I opened the door. "I'm home!" I smiled filling the room with the dim light from the hallway.

With those eyes he turned to look at me. I felt my heart stop. He always seemed to have the ability to make me feel powerless. He took the breath out of my lungs, and caused me to stop thinking. I no longer lived when he looked at me with those eyes. I didn't care if I was a man and felt this way about another man. This was love, and I will only live once to experience it.

He moved his hands away from the keyboard and pushed away from the desk in the chair. He spoke to me with a cold tone, "You're late."

He noticed that I was home later than I normally am. I stammered to find the words that I was looking for. "I-uh-I got caught up at the studio. I'm sorry Yuki." I looked to the ground. I could hear his padded footsteps as he walked over to me.

There was something different about tonight that wasn't like most nights. Yuki never mentioned if I was late or not. He approached me; his warm hand touched my chin. I soon found myself looking into those eyes that I found so irresistible. My body was an empty vessel when he was this close. I was his doll; he could use me for whatever he wanted. I was seduced by the simple glance, his cold words sunk into my heart like it was an endless ocean waiting to be filled.

He spoke to me once again. "I waited to have dinner, so I could eat with you." Was I hearing things? Was this a dream?! Yuki waited for me to get home!

"Ah-sorry." I whispered as I looked up at him. "Should we order out or- would you like me to cook?" I stammered once again scrambling to think of the right things to say.

"You can't cook, idiot. Order food unless you want to kill me." He pulled his eyes away from mine and went back to his computer chair. "How about we order some bento?" He started to type once again.

I just stared. I was silent for a second while I thought of something. I had no thoughts, there was nothing to be said, and yet I still felt as though I needed to speak. "The same as always?" I asked softly. My voice was gone. I was utterly amazed that he had waited so long for me to come home.

"Yeah." He intensely spoke to me. This meant get the hell out, you're bothering me.

Knowing what to do now I turned on my heel and left the room. A smile plastered to my lips as I left his office. This night was wonderful. Though Yuki was cold as usual, there was still a tiny bit of warmth through all of that ice.

I suddenly became nervous I wanted to sing to him tonight. Something in my head was telling me to sit him on that black leather couch in the other room and serenade him with the song that I have poured my heart into. I was going to do it; I was going to sing to him tonight. I didn't care if the song wasn't finished. This might cure the slump that I had suddenly fallen into.

I went to the office door after I placed the order for dinner. "Yuki…." I began in a soft whisper. He looked over at me from the laptop. The clicking of the keys quickly stopped, and the room was silent.

"What?" He asked coldly, his voice was like an ice dagger that pierced my heart.

"Cou-could you please come out into the living room?" I asked. The tone of my voice wavered as I spoke to him. I was actually going through with it. Now if I don't screw up I might get the three simple words that I wanted to hear so badly.

We walked together into the living room. I gave him a gentle push, and he fell back onto the couch. I could hear the air escape from the cushions as the weight fell onto them. He held his glasses in his hand as he lit a cigarette; the smoke filled the room leaving a cloudy atmosphere.

"What did you pull me away from work for?" He looked at me with those eyes, and my heart suddenly came to a stop. I wanted to do this. It was no longer a matter of WANT to do this, I HAD to do this.

I took a deep breath and smiled at him. I brushed some of the brown strands of hair out of my eyes and began to speak.

"I have been working a song for you for Christmas, but I wanted to give the gift to you now." I looked at him and saw his eyebrow rise. I smiled at him and began ever so softly. The sound filled the room as the breath left my body. The echo of the room only added to the enchanted moment.

The sunset is beautiful

Within my soul,

I know I am not alone.

Although nothing is said

Destiny brought us together that day

I felt eternity in your eyes.

White destiny

How do you do this to me?

The cold wind sparkles

With the ever so softly falling snow

White destiny

How do you do this to me?

There are some nights when I wonder

If I am alive or not

I will be swallowed up by this white destiny

I just want to see you

White destiny

How do you do this to me?

White destiny…

The last note of the song resounded so perfectly in the apartment. Then the silence once again took over the room. He didn't move, and I didn't move. There was a tense feeling in the room. He got to his feet and made his way over to me. His finger slid under my chin as he tilted my face to look up at him.

"That sucked…" He whispered softly as he crushed his lips to mine. "You idiot, you should have known that I love you." He continued to stare at me.

Not knowing how to react I threw my arms around him. His arms encircled my body as he held me in a tight embrace. That night the snow continued to fall, and I stayed Yuki's arms all night. I now know what this white destiny holds for me.