Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Find me ❯ Dairy ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: nightcrawls 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 05.18.2007 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 311 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 05.18.2007 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 311 | Status: Completed
I do not own gw nor do i pretend to own the computer i wrote this on, if thats not saying how poor i am then if you sue me all you would be getting is a doc, note saying i have commited self sueave, HA! i can make words up, and now to fall into the land of gibberish. but before i go: MY NAME IS COURT HOLEIO LOOK AT MY BUMB HOLE! bevias and butt head
desends into the land of gibberish @_@
My Last thoughts
I love it when you wake up in the morning go out to the kichen and start making breakfast even when it's just the two of us in the safe house,
the way you never turn around to greet me in the morning even though you know I'm there.
but you always bring me my coffee when I sit at the table and say nothing to you.
I wonder when you figured out how I liked it?
do you know why mornings like these I wish not to talk but to sit and enjoy the perfectness of the moment?
you probably think I have a hang over, Q-beam would be feeling my head to see if I had a fever.
Trowa would stare at me, and even though he's not checking me for fever like Quatre he would still be trying to figure out what was wrong.
Wufie would start yelling that I did something wrong and thats why I'm not saying anything
and then he would go off into one of his justice rambles that I would tune out with a goofey smile.
but you? no, you say nothing, even if I was sick you would do what needed to be done and leave it at that.
no concerns, no hostility, no quiet contomplation, just acceptance.
as I sit here reading what I thought to be Duo's diary trying to figure out what happened to him or a clue to where he might be,
I find myself trying to figure out the day he talked about, seeing that he didn't date or time his entries, the moments we shared in relative quietness
were few and far between, and I never noticed myself when I started remembering how he liked his coffee but now that I think about it,
I know just exactly how he drinks it, I guess he's more observant than I am. I turn back to the book labled "Things I'll never tell you"
Oh man He-chan, you would not believe the night I had that last mission was a bitch.
you would probably shoot me in the head for messin up the way I did.
just thinking back to it makes me want to laugh out loud but I know better.
everything hurts, I wish I could just stop breathing,
but I know if I falter you would leave me behind or better yet shoot me.
boy was Q-beam pissed with me, but he didn't have to take it out on you
you didn't know, I never told you that bullet had hit my lungs fuck! I Didn't know it hit my lung, but I could have told you.
can you say dumbfuck?
you wouldn't, you would say Baka, oh wait thats what you said right before I passed out.
when I came to Quatre looked like someoe kicked his puppy.
poor guy, I hate making him look so sad. but when he noticed me awake he was so happy
I didn't have to come up with a corny joke or pun right away, you just came in and told him to save it cause I needed my rest. thanks man
I remebered that time, I was so shocked with myself for saying that I had just turned around and walked out.
I was as mad as Winner was, but after seeing him do that to you, I just couldn't stay mad at you for pulling such a stupid stunt.
I wonder if you knew that I would have carried you? I would not have shot you, I couldn't do it when you first got captured
and I couldn't do it then either.
The war is over, so many people are happy, but for some reasons I can't take my eyes off you.Quatre keeps yelling "Look at the fireworks"
but all I can see is the way they make your eyes light up. I think this is the first time you have ever seen them, I wish I could take your hand.
I see the way the you flex, your excited to see te burst of light in the sky, like fire flies living and dieing within a second of each other,
but in your eyes the light lingers just a little bit longer. I could stand here and watch the fireworks through your eyes forever.
You knew, wow I didn't think I showed any emotion when I saw those fireworks for the first time, I can't believe you can interprit my body
language so easly. This isn't getting me anywere, all I found out is that you cared for me.
It's times like this I remember why I love the earth so much, the ability to see the moon from this perspective makes me miss flying, but love being on the ground
on L2 I never got to see the moon all I had was a meat loof and some times if I look hard enough in the dark I can see the blown light bulbs, but here on earth standing here
where we all stood to watch our Gundums go into the sun, it makes me want to go to the edge and stare up at that magnificent moon, spread my arms, turn around and
fall in a way that would let me see the moon, let it be the last thing I see as I die, that way when I slowly close them and reopen them i will be able to see sister Hellen again.
and father Maxwell, and even Solo smiling with his arms folded, waiting for me, everyone will be smilling, and when I run up to them to say I did it I'm done I'm finally home
they will disappear and I will be in hell, and then I'll be able to pay for my crimes, but before that I would know I got to see them all one last time. but I would be forever sadden
to know that I never got to see you one last time, to tell you with my own voice how I felt about you, to see your eyes no matter what your reaction would be to my declaration
I'll miss you Heero, you,Trowa,Quatre,and even that loud but honorable Wufie. I'll miss you all. Please forgive me for taking the cowards way out, but I just want to sit here and watch the
moon one last time, just one more time before I say goodbye forever. I'm happy I got to live to see the end of this battle, I'm glad I got to be there when you all were declared heros,
I'm glad I got to fight along side you guys, I have fulfilled my promise and it's time for me to stop holding on, please if your not mad at me too much Heero, could you bury me on L2 with
the rest of the Maxwell orpheins. There's already a grave there for me right beside Sister Hellen, I would love for you to do me just this one favor. I have never asked for anything before
and I'm sorry if you think I don't have the right to ask you. I hope you can also read this, It's been so long since I cryed it's hard not to right now and I know i'm messing up the pages by doing so
if you feel anything for me know that if things were different I would wait for you, I would hold your hands and carry you onto your next life or what ever it is that your ansisters go to.
but knowing full well that is wishfull thinking, I won't promise you this, I will promise you a final good bye though, if you haven't figured out where I am when you finish reading this then it wasn't meant to be
I wasn't meant to say good bye to you, I would not get that one request from god, he's a funny one like that, you have untill midnight to find me by the clues I've lefted you.
thats it, thats all, it just ends there, I don't get it. why? why is it so blurry, why can't I re-read that last entry clearly again? wait whats falling onto my hands? flowing down my cheeks, am I crying? am I really crying?
"Heero? have you found anything yet as to where Duo is? Heero? Trowa come quick i think Heero found something" yelled the voice beside
"what did he find little one?" asked Trowa has he enter's the room,followed by one Chang Wufie "yes Winner what is it and whats wrong with Yui?" asked Wufie to Quatre looking at Heero and considering calling sally
" I don't know I found him like this" said Quatre not looking at the others but at Heero and what he had in is hands, "I think he found out where duo is" slowly taking the beat up worn book with scribble and stick figure draw on the cover, lookin it has seen better days, quickly scanning the page that Heero seemed to have found the answer Quatre placed his had over his mouth and looked to Heero, then to the window seeing that it is way pass dusk, "what time is it?" asked Quatre staring out the window "what Winner?" asked Wufie "what time is it?" asked Quatre again "what does that have-" "WHAT FUCKING TIME IS IT?" now Trowa looked up from checking Heero's vitals, he loooked down on his wrist watch "10:35 pm" was his only answer as Wufie stood there trying to comprend that Quatre just cursed "Heero you have one hour and twenty mitues to get to him, go now" said Quatre in a deathly calm voice not turning around, but clutching the book in white nuckles.
"mission accepted"
Im eveil huh? lol i do try. this is a one shot, if you want to know what happends next you have to hit me up with reviews or request for another chapter, that does not mean to hit me, i was talking figatively speaking, man you guys are more sadictic than I!
desends into the land of gibberish @_@
My Last thoughts
I love it when you wake up in the morning go out to the kichen and start making breakfast even when it's just the two of us in the safe house,
the way you never turn around to greet me in the morning even though you know I'm there.
but you always bring me my coffee when I sit at the table and say nothing to you.
I wonder when you figured out how I liked it?
do you know why mornings like these I wish not to talk but to sit and enjoy the perfectness of the moment?
you probably think I have a hang over, Q-beam would be feeling my head to see if I had a fever.
Trowa would stare at me, and even though he's not checking me for fever like Quatre he would still be trying to figure out what was wrong.
Wufie would start yelling that I did something wrong and thats why I'm not saying anything
and then he would go off into one of his justice rambles that I would tune out with a goofey smile.
but you? no, you say nothing, even if I was sick you would do what needed to be done and leave it at that.
no concerns, no hostility, no quiet contomplation, just acceptance.
as I sit here reading what I thought to be Duo's diary trying to figure out what happened to him or a clue to where he might be,
I find myself trying to figure out the day he talked about, seeing that he didn't date or time his entries, the moments we shared in relative quietness
were few and far between, and I never noticed myself when I started remembering how he liked his coffee but now that I think about it,
I know just exactly how he drinks it, I guess he's more observant than I am. I turn back to the book labled "Things I'll never tell you"
Oh man He-chan, you would not believe the night I had that last mission was a bitch.
you would probably shoot me in the head for messin up the way I did.
just thinking back to it makes me want to laugh out loud but I know better.
everything hurts, I wish I could just stop breathing,
but I know if I falter you would leave me behind or better yet shoot me.
boy was Q-beam pissed with me, but he didn't have to take it out on you
you didn't know, I never told you that bullet had hit my lungs fuck! I Didn't know it hit my lung, but I could have told you.
can you say dumbfuck?
you wouldn't, you would say Baka, oh wait thats what you said right before I passed out.
when I came to Quatre looked like someoe kicked his puppy.
poor guy, I hate making him look so sad. but when he noticed me awake he was so happy
I didn't have to come up with a corny joke or pun right away, you just came in and told him to save it cause I needed my rest. thanks man
I remebered that time, I was so shocked with myself for saying that I had just turned around and walked out.
I was as mad as Winner was, but after seeing him do that to you, I just couldn't stay mad at you for pulling such a stupid stunt.
I wonder if you knew that I would have carried you? I would not have shot you, I couldn't do it when you first got captured
and I couldn't do it then either.
The war is over, so many people are happy, but for some reasons I can't take my eyes off you.Quatre keeps yelling "Look at the fireworks"
but all I can see is the way they make your eyes light up. I think this is the first time you have ever seen them, I wish I could take your hand.
I see the way the you flex, your excited to see te burst of light in the sky, like fire flies living and dieing within a second of each other,
but in your eyes the light lingers just a little bit longer. I could stand here and watch the fireworks through your eyes forever.
You knew, wow I didn't think I showed any emotion when I saw those fireworks for the first time, I can't believe you can interprit my body
language so easly. This isn't getting me anywere, all I found out is that you cared for me.
It's times like this I remember why I love the earth so much, the ability to see the moon from this perspective makes me miss flying, but love being on the ground
on L2 I never got to see the moon all I had was a meat loof and some times if I look hard enough in the dark I can see the blown light bulbs, but here on earth standing here
where we all stood to watch our Gundums go into the sun, it makes me want to go to the edge and stare up at that magnificent moon, spread my arms, turn around and
fall in a way that would let me see the moon, let it be the last thing I see as I die, that way when I slowly close them and reopen them i will be able to see sister Hellen again.
and father Maxwell, and even Solo smiling with his arms folded, waiting for me, everyone will be smilling, and when I run up to them to say I did it I'm done I'm finally home
they will disappear and I will be in hell, and then I'll be able to pay for my crimes, but before that I would know I got to see them all one last time. but I would be forever sadden
to know that I never got to see you one last time, to tell you with my own voice how I felt about you, to see your eyes no matter what your reaction would be to my declaration
I'll miss you Heero, you,Trowa,Quatre,and even that loud but honorable Wufie. I'll miss you all. Please forgive me for taking the cowards way out, but I just want to sit here and watch the
moon one last time, just one more time before I say goodbye forever. I'm happy I got to live to see the end of this battle, I'm glad I got to be there when you all were declared heros,
I'm glad I got to fight along side you guys, I have fulfilled my promise and it's time for me to stop holding on, please if your not mad at me too much Heero, could you bury me on L2 with
the rest of the Maxwell orpheins. There's already a grave there for me right beside Sister Hellen, I would love for you to do me just this one favor. I have never asked for anything before
and I'm sorry if you think I don't have the right to ask you. I hope you can also read this, It's been so long since I cryed it's hard not to right now and I know i'm messing up the pages by doing so
if you feel anything for me know that if things were different I would wait for you, I would hold your hands and carry you onto your next life or what ever it is that your ansisters go to.
but knowing full well that is wishfull thinking, I won't promise you this, I will promise you a final good bye though, if you haven't figured out where I am when you finish reading this then it wasn't meant to be
I wasn't meant to say good bye to you, I would not get that one request from god, he's a funny one like that, you have untill midnight to find me by the clues I've lefted you.
thats it, thats all, it just ends there, I don't get it. why? why is it so blurry, why can't I re-read that last entry clearly again? wait whats falling onto my hands? flowing down my cheeks, am I crying? am I really crying?
"Heero? have you found anything yet as to where Duo is? Heero? Trowa come quick i think Heero found something" yelled the voice beside
"what did he find little one?" asked Trowa has he enter's the room,followed by one Chang Wufie "yes Winner what is it and whats wrong with Yui?" asked Wufie to Quatre looking at Heero and considering calling sally
" I don't know I found him like this" said Quatre not looking at the others but at Heero and what he had in is hands, "I think he found out where duo is" slowly taking the beat up worn book with scribble and stick figure draw on the cover, lookin it has seen better days, quickly scanning the page that Heero seemed to have found the answer Quatre placed his had over his mouth and looked to Heero, then to the window seeing that it is way pass dusk, "what time is it?" asked Quatre staring out the window "what Winner?" asked Wufie "what time is it?" asked Quatre again "what does that have-" "WHAT FUCKING TIME IS IT?" now Trowa looked up from checking Heero's vitals, he loooked down on his wrist watch "10:35 pm" was his only answer as Wufie stood there trying to comprend that Quatre just cursed "Heero you have one hour and twenty mitues to get to him, go now" said Quatre in a deathly calm voice not turning around, but clutching the book in white nuckles.
"mission accepted"
Im eveil huh? lol i do try. this is a one shot, if you want to know what happends next you have to hit me up with reviews or request for another chapter, that does not mean to hit me, i was talking figatively speaking, man you guys are more sadictic than I!