Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Inner Torment ❯ A Place For My Head ( Chapter 1 )

A Place for My Head

lyrics: LINKIN PARK

story written by: Tiasha

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS!!!! Except for Richard Morii and Delegate Patterson. Please ask to borrow should you wish to. Do not sue me for anything but my imagination, which will probably not get you very far in the courtroom anyway.

Slamming her hotel room door shut, Relena shrugged off her pant suit jacket and let it fall into a heap on the floor. She kicked off her dress shoes and shimmied out her pants, grabbing an oversized shirt and pajama shorts out of her suitcase. Her nose wrinkled in disgust as she surveyed her small hotel sitting room. Flowers, they were everywhere, and all insincere. She shook her head in pity as she moved to the balcony adjoining her bedroom. Sliding open the glass door, she walked out, ignoring the cold concrete on her bare feet and the sudden breeze that ruffled her now loose hair.

// I watch how the moon sits in the sky

In the dark night shining with the light from the sun

The sun doesn't give life to the moon

Assuming the moon's gonna owe it one//

The moon was full and beautiful, but seemed sad...

Or maybe just sympathetic, Relena mused as she hopped up onto the railing to sit. Her legs dangled a dangerous seventeen stories above the ground but she was not afraid; in fact, she found it invigorating. So easy, so simple, just a good push off the railing and she could go somewhere else. Somewhere that she was not seen as a prize, or as a debt. Somewhere that she felt cherished.

//It makes me think of how you act to me

You do favors and then rapidly

You just turn around and start asking me

About things that you want back from me//

Sighing, she looked back up at the moon, deciding that it was not worth it. That was a selfish coward's way out of life. Besides, if the moon could survive being accused of owing the sun for its beauty, then she could survive being accused of being in debts to those over-stuffed aristocrats.

"You and I are the same, we are both accused of things we achieved on our own," she whispered to the full moon.

//I'm sick of the tension

Sick of the hunger

Sick of you acting like I owe you this

Find another place to feed you greed--

While I find a place to rest//

"I'm sick of them! I'm sick of them acting like they were the ones who got me where I am! They didn't do a DAMN THING for me! Why can't they just go leach off of someone else?!" she shouted in frustration. She stared at the moon waiting for an answer. Silence.

"I'm just...just so tired of all of this..."

//I want to be in another place

I hate when you say you don't understand//

"I wish Quatre was here....nobody but him understands..."

//[You'll see it's not meant to be]

I want to be in the energy, not with the enemy

A place for my head//

"Miss, I am deeply sorry to disturb you," a familiar voice said from behind her. Relena threw Richard a gentle smile as she moved off of the railing, giving him a curious look. Preventer Richard Morii had been her personal bodyguard for over two years now and it always seemed he could interpret her moods and gestures, though not all of them of course. He just always seemed to know when she needed a breath of fresh air, a shopping trip to relieve tension, a movie marathon night, a gallon of ice cream, or box of pizza.

Speaking of which... "Is that for me Richard?" she asked, slightly surprised. She motioned to the Domino's Pizza box he held in his left hand.

A slight blush crept onto his face as he realized he had been caught 'delivering' it. Before, he would always leave it for her to find before joining the other guards in the hallway of the hotel.

"Oh yeah, forgot about that. It was supposed to be a birthday dinner, since today is your birthday but-" he cut himself off, motioning inside the hotel room. "Delegate Patterson insisted on meeting with you...now."

Relena nodded and moved to go inside but stopped when Richard cleared his throat. She looked at him expectantly and noticed his raised eyebrow, looking at her...clothes? Relena also looked down at her attire before shrugging and continuing inside. If that aristocrat was willing to disturb her privacy then he would just have to accept the attire that came with it. If not, oh well.

Quatre would understand...

//Maybe someday I'll be just like you

And step on people like you do and

Run away the people I thought I knew//

"Delegate Patterson, what is the emergency?" She watched as the delegate's eyes widened at the sight of her clothing. Oversized shirt and pajama shorts were not the usual attire the Vice Foreign Minister was expected to where.

Well screw what is to be expected, I wear what I like, she thought with finality.

"No emergency other than that poor excuse of a Preventer refused to allow me in to see you," came the snobbish reply. Yes, Relena decided, snobbish was definitely the right word.

"Preventer Morii is a valued Preventer and a dear friend of mine," Relena replied coolly, allowing no room for debate. Delegate Patterson obviously took the hint. Thank God!

"I see, well, I came to discuss with you about the ethnic territory disputes. Now obviously you're in my colony's favor and I was hoping that at tomorrow's meeting we could began on the evacuation plans-"

"Your favor? Delegate Patterson, I am in no one's favor at this point. I have still yet to hear some valid reason from both your side and the earth's. Now if you will excuse me, it is late and I would like my privacy," Relena answered calmly, waiting for the elderly man to leave. Relena mentally gagged as the scent of all the flowers mingled together and became slightly overbearing. Flowers with insincere meaning, knowing nothing of how to make a birthday special.

I forgot it was my birthday...

//I remember back then who you were

You used to be calm

Used to be strong

Used to be generous

But you should've known

That you'd wear out your welcome

Now you see how quiet it is

All alone//

"Miss Relena, there is no such thing as privacy in the life of politics."

Relena narrowed her eyes; how dense was this delegate? He used to be kind and compassionate, aware of what was going on around him. She did not recognize the man before her as the Delegate Patterson she remembered. Had everyone she had known changed in such a drastic way?

"I beg to differ Delegate Patterson. Our thoughts are our own. We voice our opinions but not our thoughts. Now if you will excuse me, sir, I would like you to leave."

"But my naive Foreign Minister--"

"Must I have you escorted out of my room, Delegate Patterson?" she asked, her voice as dark as midnight and with an icy undertone. She could only guess what she had seemed like but the delegate obviously knew when to make hasty retreat.

After the hotel door closed behind the elderly delegate, Relena fell into a heap on the floor, unable to calm her rage as quickly as she would have preferred. A mixture of violet, red, yellow, purple, blue and pink caught her eye and she turned her head, staring at one of the many vases of delicate flowers next to her. Picking the vase up gingerly, she walked as if in a trance back out to her balcony. She stopped at the railing, continuing to stare at the blue vase of flowers.

//I'm so sick of the tension

Sick of the hunger

Sick of you acting like I owe you this

Find another place

To feed your greed--

While I find a place to rest//

In one significant heave, Relena threw the vase of flowers as far as she could, watching impassively as the vase fell and shattered on the walkway below. She ignored any of the shouts behind and below her as she stared at the shattered blue glass and vibrant colored flowers strewn across the gray concrete. She stared at the water, coloring the walk a darker gray, racing for somewhere to hide, free from the confines of the vase. Free...

Her gaze drifted up to the beautiful moon, watching her with such compassion and understanding that all she could do was weep; so leaning against the railing, she wept.

"Why? Why can't they just leave me alone? I'm sick of all this! All they want is some bit of power that I don't possess!" she shouted, tears still falling.

//You try to take the best of me

Go away...

You try to take the best of me

Go away...//

"Why can't they leave me alone?" she whimpered, sobs becoming evident.

//You try to take the best of me

Go away...

You try to take the best of me

Go away...//

"Why? What did I ever do to deserve this? I just want...I just want..." her sobs subsiding but tears continuing to fall like crystals, shattering as they hit whatever surface.

//YOU TRY TO TAKE THE BEST OF ME

GO AWAY!

YOU TRY TO TAKE THE BEST OF ME

GO AWAY!

YOU TRY TO TAKE THE BEST OF ME

GO AWAY!//

"I JUST WANT THEM TO LEAVE ME ALONE!" she screamed in heated frustration, a new batch of fresh tears falling.

//I want to be in another place

I hate when you say you don't understand

[You'll see it's not meant to be]

I want to be in the energy, not with the enemy

A place for my head//

"No one understands! I hate it here! I hate this! I just want..."

//I'm so sick of the tension

Sick of the hunger

Sick you acting like I owe you this

Find another place

To feed your greed--

While I find a place to rest//

"I just want a place to rest........just a place to rest...................a place to rest..."

Owari (The End)

Questions? Comments? Flames? E-mail me at korin012@yahoo.com