Series: Gundam Wing

Inner Torment: Points of Authority

Lyrics by: LINKIN PARK

Story written by: Tiasha

Disclaimers: standard disclaimers apply. In other words: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS!!! Except Richard Morii and Delegate Patterson, and any other character unfamiliar to the show. Do not sue me for anything but my imagination, which will not get you far in the courtroom. If there is any similarities between my story and another, I apologize but all I have to say it, I guess great minds think alike after all. Ja na! Enjoy!

//Forfeit the game/before somebody else

Takes you out of the frame/puts your name to shame

Cover up your face/you can't run the race

The pace is too fast/you just won't last//

Relena stared at the television set numbly, not believing what was broadcasted, no not wanting to believe what was broadcasted. She shook her head as she balled her hands into fists, her manicured nails biting deep into her skin. She ignored the pain however, as she glared at the television set in her parlor room.

"Hey, Lena, it's okay. Let's just turn the TV off. It's just a bunch of bull that some politician is making up because he didn't get as far as he wanted," she heard her friend say as she continued to glare at the offending appliance. She finally tore her gaze from the electronic to see who had come to stand near her with their hand on her shoulder. Quatre Winner's comforting blue eyes gazed back at her and she forced herself to take a deep breath.

Relena couldn't believe that Delegate Patterson would stoop so low as to make blows at her reputation while she waited for her hearing in front of the ESUN Council. It just did not seem logical that he would do this! Especially since his efforts to take her out with mistakes she'd made were being contradicted by her efforts to maintain peace between the earth and the colonies.

'Patterson is trying to ruin my name in any manner he can,' Relena thought as she glanced back at the television before the screen went blank due to Duo Maxwell shutting it off. 'I just don't know why…'

"I think it would be best if you stayed out of sight for a while, at least until the media gets bored with this situation," Trowa Barton commented, and Relena frowned at the suggestion.

"Yes, well while that seems like the right thing in your mind, *I* am not going to go into hiding. I will continue my duties as Vice Foreign Minister," she stated in a tone that held no room for argument. She watched as he raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm afraid all of you have had little experience in politics. For your own sake, it'd be best if you returned to your own lives and not get involved with mine. None of you can keep up with the pace politicians move at, despite having been gundam pilots."

"But Lena-"

"Please, for your own sakes."

"And if Lady Une orders us on active duty? Or orders you to stay out of the public eye for awhile?" Trowa questioned her. Oh he liked to contradict her…and it bugged her for some reason… But she could not fault him or any of them…they had come to her side almost immediately when the vote of no-confidence was made public knowledge. Thanks to Delegate Patterson, of course. She supposed that they had all gone through too much to let one of them stand-alone…they had all become friends and she had somehow managed so squeeze into that friendship unknowingly at first.

Sighing, she glanced at each of them, trying to listen to her inner voice. Part of her said 'to Hell with the Preventers' but her intuition told her the opposite… "I'll deal with it *if* I have to…"

Relena glanced up as Richard Morii and Wufei Chang rejoined the rest of them in the parlor. However before she could greet them, Pagan entered and announced that she had an incoming call. She excused herself, quickly moving towards her office, well aware that Richard was watching her with concern. Swiftly closing and locking all the doors, Relena heaved an un lady-like sigh before answering the call.

//You love the way I look at you

While taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through

You take away if I give in

My life

My pride is broken//

"Ah, Miss Dorlain, I'm pleased to see that you have time in your schedule to speak to me." That voice was one she could have gone the whole day without hearing. She monitored the frequency to make sure Delegate Patterson was not trying to broadcast or record their upcoming conversation.

"Well, how can I help you delegate?" she asked in a very formal tone. Her eyes narrowed as the elderly man smirked, *smirked* at her! How dare he…

"My, my, so formal…why I merely wished to call and give you my deepest apologies. I have absolutely no idea how that information got out."

'Like Hell you do,' she thought to herself, frowning as she refrained from calling him a liar. But she knew how to read him; she knew how to read most people. It was part of being a politician, and to survive she had had to learn to read people's gestures.

"Delegate Patterson, in the time that I have known you, you never displayed such hostility and corruption as you have in the past week. When you're colony needed financial aid, I helped, when your economy was down, I helped, but you've never done anything as fiendish as this."

"You expected me to scratch your back, since you scratched mine? Typical; careful, Vice Foreign Minister, we wouldn't want you to become a corrupt politician, now would we?"

Relena blinked; had he said what she thought he'd said? "All I ever hoped for was your support for my peace efforts," she said in slight dismay. "But now you've ruined every dream of peace that I ever harbored and cherished."

Delegate Patterson's face grew dark, as if relieving an old memory…"I hope you enjoy your next few weeks, Vice Foreign Minister."

"What did I ever do to make you want me voted out of office?" she asked breathlessly. 'Keep your cool, girl. You can't let him see how scared you are. You can't give him that pleasure…'

//You like to think you're never wrong

(You live what you learn)

You want to act like you're someone

(You live what you learn)

You want someone to hurt like you

(You live what you learn)

You want to share what you've been through

(You live what you learn)//

"Miss Dorlain, naïve Miss Dorlain-"

"I can't be voted out! I've done too much for the sake of peace! I can't be voted out! You're wrong!" Relena growled at herself, 'real good, nice way to keep your cool, Relena.'

"I'm never wrong Miss Dorlain."

Relena clenched her fists in her lap; oh how she wanted to scream and call him a liar, but she had to admit that he was starting to scare her. He had many more years of experience than she and he had *many* connections.

"That could be taken as a threat, Delegate."

"As could your outburst, right now."

'Touché,' she thought with distaste. "Why are you doing this?"

Relena hadn't thought it was possible for the dark look on Delegate Patterson's face could any darker, but he proved her wrong. It could get darker, and was frightening.

"It's part of life, my dear. Those we trusted hurt us all. That's just the way it is."

"But-"

"Good day Miss Dorlain," Delegate Patterson snapped at her before disconnecting. Relena stared at the vidphone screen blankly. What had just happened? Had she opened an old wound of the Delegate's unintentionally?

Leaning back in her chair, she studied the ceiling thoughtfully. Patterson had to have been betrayed before, that was the only conclusion she could draw… But why would he repeat what had been done to him? Why was he living what he had learned?

"Why does he now want me to go through what he went through?" she whispered, still staring up at the ceiling. She was drawn out of her thoughts by a knock on her office door.

//You love the things I say I'll do-

The way I hurt myself again just to get back at you

You take away when I give in

My life

My pride is broken//

"Leave me be, please!" she said loud enough so that she would be heard. When no other knock followed the first, she placed her arms on her desk and buried her face in them. In honesty, she didn't want to be alone at the moment…but she didn't want to end up hurting those who trusted… She didn't want to be like Patterson…

"Someone just shoot me," she moaned, closing her eyes. Relena then giggled at the thought; hadn't Heero promised to kill her? 'Perhaps I should call in that favor now…' she mused to herself.

Her amusement quickly faded and she suddenly felt like crying. Everything was going so wrong! Nothing was right! Everything was broken! Her dreams, her hopes, her pride…

"I can't take this anymore…I just-just can't take it…" she cried softly to herself. What was the point? She should have expected this in the first place; they were politicians after all. She had just hoped that with the new peace, they would change as well. Oh how wrong she had been!

// You like to think you're never wrong

(You live what you learn)

You want to act like you're someone

(You live what you learn)

You want someone to hurt like you

(You live what you learn)

You want to share what you've been through

(You live what you learn)//

'What was the whole point? What-no, I need a distraction. And I think I know what,' she thought as she stood to rejoin her friends. But she paused at the door, her hand hovering over the knob as she heard their voices.

"I think it's just stress-"

"But what if it's not? What if there is something wrong with her?"

"How can you-"

"I'm just considering the possibilities."

Relena blinked rapidly and pulled away from the door, suddenly wanting to cower and sob in the corner of her office. How could they? How could they doubt her? After all she had done for them, this was how they repaid her?

Relena stopped her thoughts there, eyes wide with horror. She was no better than those other politicians, no better than Patterson. How could she expect something from them? They fought in the Eve Wars, they were selfless, and here she was expecting something in return for her own sacrifices.

'Oh god…what have I done?' she asked herself silently, suddenly finding herself in a corner of her office. It was there that she crumpled to the floor, pulling her legs up to her chest and sobbing quietly.

"What have I done?" Relena whispered in soft denial. "When did I become them?"

// Forfeit the game/before somebody else

Takes you out of the frame/puts your name to shame

Cover up your face/you can't run the race

The pace is too fast/you just won't last//

"When did I become so corrupt?" she whispered. 'I'm just like any other politician…no…I'm living what I learned from them and-I don't want to be like them…I thought I could outrun the corruption…'

"Oh god…why? Why…?"

When had she learned these points of authority? Why had she not been told earlier that this would happen? If she'd been told, she *never* would have become a politician…

'I never wanted *this*, never this…' she thought and dimly noted that thunder rolled in the distance, announcing its presence to her. Almost as if to say…'I understand and they will know of the tears you cry.' But that couldn't be…could it?