Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Love Life Arc ❯ Be With You ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Be With You: Part Two of the Love Life Arc

`blah' denotes song lyrics

`blah' denotes memories/dreams

Summary: Trowa deals with the aftermath of his insensitivity.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the song Be With You- Enrique Iglesias

Be With You

It was a sell-out crowd at the circus on L3, everyone coming out to celebrate another Peace Day gone by.

Trowa Barton didn't feel much like celebrating.

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Monday night I feel so low
Count the hours they go so slow
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Six months had passed since it had happened. Six months, twenty-one weeks, roughly one hundred and eighty-five days.

Compared to the other times in his life, six months seemed like nothing. Without Quatre it felt more like six lifetimes. Six centuries. Six millennia.

“Trowa?”

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I know the sound of your voice
Can save my soul,

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His bangs flew in the air as he whipped around to find Catherine standing there in her costume, looking weary. Trowa felt something cold sink in his stomach.

For a moment, Catherine soft voice had sounded so much like Quatre's sweet tones…..

“Are you ready for the performance, Trowa?”

His eyes tracked the way the golden light of the street lamps flashed against the sequins on her skirt as he nodded silently.

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City lights, streets of gold
Look out my window to the world below

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Catherine didn't look very convinced as she clenched a fist at her side.

“I just want to make it all better Trowa. I want you to be happy. Won't you tell me what would make you happy?”

He stayed silent as she sighed and turned to leave.

“Time's in fifteen minutes, brother mine.”

Then he was alone.

Again

He hated being alone.

Even now, standing in the tent and listening to the masses of children with their parents and the jingle of the circus music, Trowa felt cut off.

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Moves so fast and it feels so cold
And I`m all alone

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If he concentrated hard enough, squinted his eyes just so, the faint sounds of a violin could be heard through all the tinkling tunes and that young blond man bore a startling resemblance to the beautiful Winner heir.

Trowa let the tent flap drop back into place and turned away from it all to enter the Big Top. The applause was barely a background noise.

Catherine had wanted to know- had asked- what would make him happy. The answer was simple.

Quatre could.

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Don`t let me die
I`m losing my mind
Baby just give me a sign

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Contrary to whatever everyone thought, Trowa wasn't an emotional idiot. He knew why Quatre had stopped seeing him- the blond was stronger than him in more ways than people knew but no one could hold onto ice forever without getting burned.

Trowa knew he had been cold- that he had almost done so on purpose- but for what reason was still a mystery to the green-eyed man.

He loved Quatre and yet he'd treated him like a passing fancy. Practically like a whore.

And yet, he still couldn't have stopped himself- because he hadn't seen the fire dying slowly in those always-bright aquamarine eyes.

He'd taken the fire for granted, had put it out and now he was cold again.

Always so damn cold.

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And now that you`re gone
I just wanna be with you

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Balancing on a thin wire always seemed to make his problems look tiny and insignificant. Except for this one.

The wire was his life starting from birth and ending at death. The wire would always be there, whether he slid his way across the top or fell over the edge. It was all about his control- balancing gave him complete rule over his journey to the other side, falling took it all away.

The balancing act became boring all too soon. The question was: was Trowa ever going to be willing to fall?

A flash of platinum blond in the mass of people below caught his sight.

Quatre?

He wobbled. People gasped.

Distracted.

A female voice called out as Trowa slipped sideways and the blond GIRL turned to see what all the excitement was.

A hand shot out to grasp the wire tightly.

He still wasn't ready to fall. No wonder Quatre had left.

Maybe he would do it next time.

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And I can`t go on
I wanna be with you
Wanna be with you

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Trowa sat on his bed long after the show had ended, staring at the check in his hands. Vacation pay. They had sent him on vacation.

Catherine had been…upset with his performance and the Manager was not willing to risk an insurance hazard like having a trapeze artist fall onto an audience member.

So they had sent him on vacation `until he got his head straight.'

Catherine had snidely suggested that he visit Quatre.

Trowa put the check onto his nightstand and flopped back onto his bed.

It was already two in the morning. He dreamt.

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I can`t sleep and I`m up all night
Through these tears I try to smile

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Strong, warm hands ran over his shoulders gently. Every bump, ridge and scar was mapped out by those questing fingers. Trowa tensed as he remembered who had fallen in bed with him.

He sat up stiffly. “I'll get my shirt.”

“Why?” Came the innocent inquiry. Trowa turned to see his greatest dream.

Quatre sat in the middle of his bed, the thin, white sheet polling over his lap, looking indecent seemingly on purpose. Bright, clear aquamarine eyes told him otherwise- the blond boy was being serious.

“They are not the best sight so early in the morning.” Came the quiet reply.

White blond locks swayed as he tilted his head t the side and stared at Trowa intently.

“They are a part of you.” A finger traced the edge of the scar tissue. “They are beautiful then.”

Quatre kept his gaze on Trowa's as he lowered his mouth to kiss one of the puckered reminders of a forgotten past.

He felt the skin where his lover's lips had touched burn fiercely. It was a pleasant burn this time, one that made Trowa wish Quatre's lips could leave scars in place of the ones he already had.

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I know the touch of your hand
Can save my life

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Emerald eyes shot open as the cold night air sent a shiver through his body. A searching hand reached out for his lover's smooth, warm body only to find empty air.

The hand clenched into a shaking fist.

This was too much. It wasn't right.

He needed his Quatre back.

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Don`t let me down
Come to me now
I got to be with you some how

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Catherine had a look of surprise and confusion on her face as she watched him pack. Trowa hide a smirk behind his bangs as he bent to tuck another shirt into his duffle bag.

“I thought you didn't want to take a vacation!? Where are you going?”

“To visit Quatre.”

The auburn haired woman looked even more perplexed. “I thought the two of you-“ she quickly stopped that sentence as Trowa shot her an unreadable look. “Do you know where you'll be staying?”

“No.”

“How can I contact you then?”

He shrugged. “I have a cell.”

Catherine sniffled quietly. “Will you ever come back?”

Trowa zipped up his duffle and threw it over his shoulder before facing his distraught sister.

“If I do return then it will be because I failed. I'm trying to make it all better, Cathy.”

Her eyes widened as he walked towards the door calmly. As he expected, she appeared early enough to wave him off.

“Good luck Trowa! Don't be a stranger!”

He gave her one small wave before setting out to the Space Port.

He wasn't afraid of the fall anymore.

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And now that you`re gone
Who am I with-out you now
I can`t go on
I just wanna be with you

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