Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ V Lucid Engagements ❯ Real Without You ( Chapter 2 )

Real Without You

I was tired.

It wasn't like I didn't sleep enough...the thought was bitter, and the bitterness carried over. Hell, Lucien had even given me permission to be depressed. He'd told me that many people in situations similar to mine would be. He'd had me go see him after lunch and asked me what I thought of Acton, really. It'd been the only way I was able to tell him about what I'd remembered...

He seemed to understand, which was nice, but I still hated having those breakdowns. Actually, when I managed to start crying, I got agitated. Lucien seemed to prefer that I didn't get in that state...let alone staying in it for an extended amount of time...

Or was this normal?

It was hard to tell what anyone would call normal, and when I brought it up with Lucien he dismissed it as there being no actual "norm" to go by. Each person was different and la-de-da. He didn't comprehend that I meant the human race by-and-large. I wasn't normal on any level...even that level which made a person an individual...and if I ever bothered to say that he'd berate me gently.

I refused to let my mind slide into the logic of "if"...like, "if I could get out of here" or "if I could call Nat..." those thoughts didn't do me an ounce of good. Literally. Allowing my mind to use that compensation would probably make me say the forbidden words to Lucien, and then he'd step in and tell me I needed to not have a girlfriend until I was ready...

It was hard not to have those bitter thoughts...

The phone buzzed in its irritable fashion that wasn't a ring, meaning the office or something was calling me.

What, were they checking on me?

I snorted irritably and lifted the receiver. "Yeah?"

"Mr. Yuy?" a pleasant woman asked. "Are you decent?"

"Yes?" I returned uncertainly. "Is that a good thing?"

She laughed a happy little laugh. "I only ask because you have visitors."

"Visitors?" I asked, sitting up. That probably meant Wufei and Quatre.

"Yes," she agreed. "Can you come down to the lounge?"

"Um...I need to slide my shoes on, I'll be right down."

"All right, I'll let them know," she sounded like she was smiling.

"Thanks," I muttered, smiling back as I turned the phone off and swung my feet off the bed to pull on my runners. I didn't really want runners, but Lucien had been concerned about my boots.

For all that I bitched about him a lot, he was damn helpful to me. I really needed to stop being so ungrateful...

I bounced off the bed and out the door, hearing the tail end of a message over the soldier's walkie-talkie...probably telling him I was heading up front. I smiled slightly at the guy as I passed, making sure my mannerisms didn't further betray my excitement.

It was good...on a day like this, a bad day, it was nice to have someone from outside the center to talk to...

"I'm just so nervous..."

That voice wasn't...that couldn't be Natalie...

My heart fluttered in my chest and I focused intently on the female voice. The end of the hall had a chest-high blockade with a planter of fake flowers on top. The lounge itself had the same barricade from the entry-way that ran along the front of the building. The wall on either side went all the way down with windows into the lounge area and the office, which was on the right.

"Don't be," Duo reassured the female without missing a beat. "We can't stay long, you know."

"I know..."

"Natalie?" I shouted, darting for the entrance and being held up by the door handle...which I couldn't open... "Nat?!"

"Mr. Yuy!" the male office worker muttered, darting out to me quickly. "Please, hold on just a moment..."

"Hurry up," I ordered, smacking the door irritably as I tried to see through the small anteroom into the lounge room. "Nat?!"

"You need to calm down," he ordered me firmly, stopping completely.

I really wanted to deck the man...if that was Natalie...

I forced myself to stop moving entirely, watching him with my eyes. His manner changed to nervous as he took out his key-card and swiped it. The moment it took for the red light to change to green was an eternity...and I really wanted to just break the damn door. It'd end in multiple flesh wounds, but it'd be faster than waiting for that damn key...

"Are you all right?" he asked me quietly as we stopped at the second door, not swiping the card.

"I'm fine," I retorted, trying to keep the irritation from my voice.

"You don't seem fine, Mr. Yuy."

"You're taking too damn long," I snapped back, still trying to see into the main room. I didn't understand why they'd bothered with key-operated doors when all it took to really get out was to hop the blockade at the end of the hall, but if I didn't cooperate at least that much...

"You've made me nervous," he snapped, putting a hand on his hip.

Ooh, if I could only beat the shit out of him...

I narrowed my eyes at him, remaining motionless.

He frowned at that, then swiped the key and started to pull the door open.

There was no way I was waiting for him now...I yanked the door from his grasp and slid past him, looking around...to see Duo lounging on the wall-bench in a cocky manner...with the most beautiful woman in the world rising to her feet beside him.

I stopped, staring at her as I noted my chest was heaving...

"Heero!" she muttered, stepping at me nervously.

"Natalie," I muttered in response...and ran to her, pulling her to my chest as I felt tears burn my eyes...and she started crying, clinging to me. "Oh, Nat...I'm so sorry," I whispered, holding her to me tightly and closing my eyes...as tears spilled down my cheeks. "Duo..." I started, swallowing hard as the word came out half-choked. "Duo..."

"You were an absolute bastard to me," Duo cut me off quietly. "You treated me worse than a bitch and had me terrified for four god damn years. What that ends in, Heero, is me not really wanting to talk to you. You understand that?"

I looked away from his eyes.

"I can't understand you," Natalie half whispered, looking back to him. She was speaking Portuguese, and he English. "Speak my language."

"If the words were for you, I would," he said quietly in her tongue, looking back to me. "You understand me, Heero?"

I nodded, dropping my eyes.

"By nature, I'm not a cruel man," Duo added. "You were the last person I wanted to think about when I was in Brazil, but every morning I expected your calls. Every morning I made sure I was in a situation where I could let you talk to her...and I couldn't leave her behind without a phone in good conscience. I haven't forgiven you, Heero," he added, still watching my face intently, not that I could meet his eyes. "I don't know if I will, and I'm not trying to...but I will try to start over. I know you're trying to get the help you need, and that's why I did this," he gestured at Natalie. "She'll be living with me until she can get on her own two feet, and when you're done with this shit," he gestured toward the building, "I don't care what the two of you do. You owe me...big."

I started to open my mouth.

"No," he cut me off—the man from the office was starting to draw himself up. "No," Duo repeated. "I don't mean money, I don't mean endless favors...nothing like that. I want you to take this shit seriously," he gestured toward the walls again. "No rebelling, no...manipulating your psychiatrist. If they want you on meds, you better beg to take those fuckers early...do you understand me?"

I nodded, looking away further.

"You can't..." the man started.

"You don't know me," Duo cut him off, pointing at him as he studied him. "You don't know my story, you don't know my mindset...you don't know what our relationship was," he indicated me. "You can't tell me what I do or don't think, so don't try. You can't tell me what I can or can't do, because I've saved the mother fucking world, and I highly doubt you could manage it...so you just go write this note in your happy little book...and make sure that everyone who'll be here for his duration sees it, because I want to know if he's not cooperating."

The man started to draw himself up.

"Do it."

I jumped hard, turning around to look at the entrance...and Lucien.

Duo receded, studying the man with hard interest.

"So, you're the infamous Mr. Maxwell," Lucien muttered, moving across the room as the man scurried to do his bidding. "And what, pray tell, are you of all people doing here?"

Duo gave him a vaguely amused look, then indicated Natalie. "I'm a bigger man."

- -

Trowa knocked on the door again, wondering if he should have called before arriving.

It swung open slowly, and Quatre tilted his head, giving him a quizzical look. It was obvious in his eyes that he had no idea who Trowa was...at first. His eyes widened.

"Shh!" Trowa hissed, darting in and covering his mouth. "I don't want...where's Wufei?"

Quatre mumbled something into his hand.

"What?" Trowa asked blankly, stopping to look at him.

Quatre gave him a look.

Trowa laughed nervously, removing his hands and wiping it on his pants. "Sorry."

"He was going over to Juki's," Quatre noted, wiping his own mouth somewhat irritably, then blinked at Amelia.

"Hi," she said happily, pulling their bags into the apartment. "I'm Amelia, and if Trowa gets locked up for more than a week I'm going to seduce you."

Trowa started laughing.

"A week, huh?" Quatre asked considerately, reaching for his cell phone.

"Stop," Trowa muttered, smacking at him and giving the female a look.

She grinned back.

"I'm sorry I didn't warn you," Trowa added to the guy, pulling their bags in properly to close the door. "Wufei said we could take the extra room."

"That's why we got this place," Quatre agreed, gesturing around, then smiled and stepped forward, offering his hand. "I'm Quatre Winner."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Winner," she muttered, shaking it.

He smirked slightly, leaning forward with perfect grace to kiss her knuckles. "Please, call me Quatre, we may as well get familiar now."

Amelia's eyes sparkled.

"I hate you so bad," Trowa muttered, rolling his eyes and moving around the blond to look at the decently sized apartment.

"Why black?" Quatre demanded, reaching over to fiddle with his hair.

"That's exactly why," Trowa retorted, moving his head away irritably. "Who'd have thought I'd go black, really?"

"Considering that you can disappear without changing anything," Quatre retorted, "I can see your point."

"You're so witty," Trowa retorted.

"You're smart," Quatre praised him as one would a child, moving closer in a condescending sort of way. "That nice lady taught you things, didn't she?"

"Hahaha," Trowa retorted, giving him a look and moving away.

The door swung open, and everyone stopped to turn and look at it...and Wufei.

The Chinese man was blinking at Amelia.

"I'm Amelia," she explained, extending her hand to him. "I hear you have a girlfriend or I'd have picked you; but since we'll be rooming together and such, I'll ask you not to tell Trowa I'm cheating on him."

Wufei's face split in a wicked grin as he shook her hand. "Anything to assist a lady of such high stature."

She laughed and smacked him gently, playfully.

"I'm Wufei," he added, then looked Trowa up and down with a raised eyebrow.

"I was going to go for the pirate-shirt and leggings, but they wouldn't have let me take the sword through security."

Amelia grinned more.

"Wow," Quatre muttered, looking to Wufei. "You know what? He's all yours."

"You're so kind," Wufei retorted, then kicked Trowa's bag. "Your shit goes there," he pointed at the spare room, then turned to Amelia. "Your stuff will go in that room when Trowa's not looking."

She tilted her head at him. "Is that your room?"

"No," Quatre had his wicked grin again. "It's mine."

"Oh, I see," Amelia gave him a coy sort of look, then turned to Trowa. "Let's go check out our new bed, huh, lover?"

Trowa smirked at her, then looked over her shoulder to Quatre and Wufei with a shrug.

Wufei rolled his eyes and started for the kitchen.

"You told me your English wasn't good," Trowa accused the woman, walking toward the room backwards.

"Good is in the perception," she retorted.

"Kinda like grammar?" he demanded, then laughed wickedly...and the door shut behind them.

Wufei kinda had a feeling he understood why Trowa wanted the woman with him so badly after only two weeks...she was fun, and he'd only talked to her for a couple minutes.

Quatre sighed in mock regret, then shook his head and moved to follow Wufei. "I want to get some fertilizer for my rose," he noted. "And maybe a bigger pot."

"If it's too big we won't be able to move it," Wufei reminded him. "How big are you thinking?"

"It's just for the rose," Quatre retorted, moving around to dig out a cup from a cupboard. "It's not like I want my own garden out there on that balcony."

"Why not?" Wufei demanded sarcastically.

Quatre stopped, actually thinking about that. "You know...it might be..."

Wufei groaned, realizing he'd done it to himself.

"Oh, shut-up," Quatre muttered at him, making a flippant sort of gesture. "I wanted a place with a yard and you got me a balcony. My rose is going to die because of you, and all you can do is groan because I want to go shopping."

Wufei grinned at that, then shrugged and moved for the fridge. He knew he owed it to his friend to accommodate his hobby, but that didn't mean he had to be graceful about it...and he had no intentions of doing any such thing.