Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ White Winged Dove ❯ Chapter 1

Title: White Winged Dove

Rating: PG-13

Light Shoujo-ai content

Gundam wing is not mine I'm just borrowing

Poetry is mine

**Bella Donna

***The Edge of Seventeen all lyrics by Stevie Nicks off the album Bella Donna

**************

She likened the Unifying Peace Conference to a badly staged ballet, awkward in movement as the world's, nay, the galaxy's top political leaders clamored about, inching from forum to forum in base indecision over the future of the earth and the colonies, making petty and often vain speeches vying for laws that were unwanted and in some rare instances extremely important. Dorothy Catalonia was invited and attended only because she was swiftly becoming one of the Preventors' chief benefactors. She did not press her opinion about the newly attained peace, nor did she sit in the shadows and pretend to be just a causal observer. She played both sides of the coin making sure she was noticed and making sure certain bills were passed purely on principle and without causing a stir.

She was in the main gallery of the conference. Watching as assistants and secretaries ran about gathering various schedules, some for meetings, others for the more important treaty and law signings. And of course the most important events of all in everyone's mind, the three key speeches to be given by the Vice Foreign Minister, that young political genius, once a princess, once a queen, always righteous, Relena Darlain Peacecraft.

Dorothy watched the main schedule board click with last minute changes reminding her of being stuck in a shuttle terminal, stormy gray eyes unmoved by the wall of praise spilling from some young lobbyist. The boy was all too in awe of the reigning vice minister, all too excited and the blonde wondered if there was anything she could say that would quiet him. Something that wouldn't make her stand out but still make her point. Thankfully no action was needed as he wandered off in search of ears that actually cared.

It had already been a long week and she was tiring slightly of all the posturing. If war was over then war was over. All hail the human race for finally coming to some sense, but it wasn't that simple as Dorothy well knew. Something a distant cousin of hers had said liked to creep on her at times, "Mans basic instinct is always to fight and take and make new. Destroy the old so that progress and change might occur."

She believed that more deeply than anyone could know. It was a nice fairytale to believe that peace would last, but there would always be a person, or a group who wanted to change the world and "make it better". And better was not always just or right but it was the idea of change that made the difference and nothing else. Once the idea was present there was little to stop someone from trying to make that change take place.

She drummed her long slender fingers along the arm of the chair she was sitting in. Her lovely princess had delayed a speech yet again and there was nothing to do and no one Dorothy felt worthy of conversing with. So she made a game of spotting Preventor officers that were scattered about as security. The game ended much too quickly as she noted that there were five in the main gallery badly disguised as clerks. There were two on upper balconies watching the crowd hidden poorly by velvet curtains. She focused on one in particular, wondering if the lady new she was being observed. If the lady was aware she showed no sign and for that Dorothy was grateful and slightly disappointed.

Her disappointment stemmed from never finding the right time to drag the lady aside and talk to her about a few things they had in common. The most important at present being the vice minister and the lesser (but still very important) being the tie each had to the late Trieze Kushrenada. For the moment Dorothy could find a way to think on the later with more interest. She didn't have any family left. After her grandfather's fall Trieze was all she had in ways of blood ties. Or at least blood ties that mattered to her, ties that taught her about the world.

When she was very young she had gone to visit her cousin. She was bored over all by the trip since she was left, as usual, to her own devises. But one day she wandered to a small field that was used for shooting, mostly little clay disks each being a point and whoever shot down the most won. At the time and still presently she found it silly. There was no real risk in shooting something made of clay. She recalled the odd smile that inched over Trieze's face as she mentioned it. He seemed strangely proud of her for making such an observation.

The next day he took her out hunting, capturing a few pheasants, a rabbit, and oddly enough a set of doves. They were symbols of peace he had told her, but even the most docile and innocent of creatures lives in the risk of being taken. Life and war and peace where the same he explained, because everything runs the risk of being taken. Change being the only constant there was and man's greatest tragedy being his want to keep change from over taking him.

She sighed as the thought passed and refocused on the lady who was watching the room like a well-trained hawk.

"Trained by the best there was," Dorothy whispered to herself. "To catch doves."

Her blue-gray eyes caught the ever-changing main schedule and shook her head with disappointment when she noted Relena's speech had been delayed until the next day. Something must have been going on, an assassination attempt perhaps. Whatever it was most of the people in the main gallery began an exodus to their rooms or rescheduled meetings that had previously been canceled by the Vice-Minister's speech. She leaned back in her chair to decide on what she was going to do. Lady Une still in her perch above the crowd kept pulling the goddess's attention making her think of more personal things.

It was a hard emotion to describe being a mix of curiosity; envy and anger the day Dorothy realized her closeted love was leaving her for someone who could fulfill her need for destruction. That need to be pushed into defeat and feel the burn of it. Of course as Dorothy always observed there was no one who ever got close to Relena who could manage the task. She could have, of course, it would have been easy to break the princess when she had the chance but she couldn't just give in to such self-destructive behavior. Especially since the princess refused to admit that that was what she craved. Looking over the lady she knew exactly why Relena had run to her for what she wanted.

Lady Une was every faux pas and danger the girl had ever known. The lady had killed Relena's father. The lady had a reputation for being cold and cruel but the truth was… the lady of old… the lady that had caused so much fear and commanded so much respect had been killed two years ago by a bullet to the chest. Oh the lady still commanded respect and she was still feared to an extent but really she was a much different person. Dorothy had observed the change and really anyone who had a knack for reading people could see the difference between Preventor Une and the Lady.

With ease Dorothy removed herself from the chair and made way to her room. When the conference was over she was going to take a long vacation from active political life. Go to the colonies and maybe open a club. Or maybe she would just rebuild her reputation as someone not to be trifled with. Someone who was expert at games of the heart.

"Can't rebuild what was never torn down," she muttered inside the elevator that was slowly taking her to her room.

And there was truth in that statement. She was only seventeen but she was still quite notorious for being everything she was. There were those that fell to her beauty and those that feel to her wit but they still fell. Even the dear Vice Foreign Minister had fallen to her and easily and quickly, begging for defeat. Begging for all things that eluded because of the tight shell of protection others pulled around her. But something like defeat…defeat backfired on everyone who sought it. And defeat was prodding at Dorothy in the form of a misguided attempt at a love affair.

The blonde fought against it though and she felt as if she won on some levels. It wasn't that she was heart broken, she had convinced herself; it was that her playmate quit the game before she could properly end it. She shook her head as the doors to the lift slid open, stepping out in a strange rush to her room. The strain of the week official as she silently cursed herself for hurting.

*******************************

In the darkness of this desert

I am lost within the folds

Great blackness taking over

Something to warm me from the cold

And as the wind picks up

And as the stars begin to shine

The moon a mere smirk in the distance

I can feel what I hate to admit

The scars I hid so well from view

The tears I could refuse

Because wouldn't it be terribly pathetic

To cry over the loss of you

*****************************

Dorothy found the confines of her elaborate suite too restricting. So she dressed and made way to her private car to escape the world of ever present dignitaries and other political vipers that liked to haunt the hotels grand dining room. She wondered if her dislike for politicians was a direct result of her grandfather's once stifling hold of her life. It was a theory, but she didn't enjoy prescribing to it.

With ease she slipped from the hotel and into the parking garage where, waiting like a patient child was her car. It was a bright yellow Porsche that often had the look of a bumblebee. Despite it's vibrant color it was a far and delightful cry from her normal choice of vehicle. The press, which had a passing interest in Dorothy from time to time, caught on to her like for big and yellow cars (Cadilacs, vans, SUVs). She decided scaling down to something sporty would do a nice job of throwing the howling wind of the tabloids off her trail. The ploy worked for a while, but she wasn't concerned about the press chasing after her. There were other more interesting politicians to pester at the conference.

The Unifying Peace Conference was being held in a rather upscale little seaport making dining experiences an interesting challenge for any visiting the city. The hotel that all of the members of the conference were staying at however was in close distance to two neo-riche restaurants. This meant that despite their dislike of the press parade most of the politicians wanting to dine out would brave having a picture taken with spinach stuck to their teeth rather than exploring the lesser-known, less expensive restaurants in the area. Dorothy didn't care for the high class and "in" places near the hotel, finding them dull and dreadfully boring since all the patrons were too busy trying to look good to notice that the lobster was always over cooked and the wine list lacking.

In a furry of speed she raced her way around the town until she reached a small boardwalk that was home to one of the best restaurants she had ever encountered. Besides that, the small place was right on the water a perfect place to watch the light and fireworks show coordinated by the boardwalks small amusement park. She wondered if the owners would remember her as she made the small trek from her car to the quaint place aptly named 'The Waterfront'.

A broad smirk crossed her face as the same waiter from her last visit took her over to a single table on the patio, followed shortly by the owner and the chef whom asked if she was in good health. Spewing the various other small talk owners enjoying bestowing upon their favorite patrons. Dorothy enjoyed the chatter but was relieved when she was left to peruse the menu and watch the lights from the boardwalk reflect on the dark water.

It was in that quiet space between ordering her meal and waiting for it to arrive that she began to drift over the past. And the past was three years long. It was enough to make anyone slightly melancholy, even though Dorothy blamed it on fatigue not sentiment. Still the memory was there like a thick fog that could not be cut or faded by the hope of the sun.

For three years the goddess had shared a bed with the princess in an off and on relationship more akin to a strobe light than anything else. And when it ended it ended because Dorothy hit a soft spot that Relena couldn't protect. And when it began again it was always because of the same reason… a soft spot that just couldn't be protected and a need, a want the diplomat couldn't rid her self of. Dorothy loved those moments. She always knew when they were coming too, because Relena's deep blue eyes just couldn't hide her true feelings. Still over all those moments and emotions nothing compared to the very first time. And what a time it was.

She remembered the Sanq Kingdom was barely clinging to life back then. Running on the ideas of a dead king voiced through the never-ending song of his long lost daughter. But the princess was not truly equipped to handle such grand ideals as total pacifism, total peace. She was a lost little girl, vengeance in her heart, destruction on her mind, and a false belief taken on more for duty than personal conviction. Dorothy loved to watch Relena defend pacifism. It was quite a show and the audience always bought the performance and cheered at the end. It made the goddess smile but by far the best thing she ever did was argue with the Peacecraft. Calm and reflective, perhaps a bit cruel at times in her points Dorothy loved the responses that fell from a perfect mouth because they were mostly lies, pretty as pictures.

And then one day Dorothy the champion of war and Relena the champion for peace took a long stroll and talked. The memory caused a tiny and bare smirk to cross Dorothy's face. Relena was in rare form that night as the pressure of being a teenaged world leader began to creep upon her. The goddess remembered how she responded, swiftly, harshly, easy tact and easy prey and the fire of rage that grew in the princess's eyes. It was too much for Relena to take really. She had no choices left no lies to offer in defense… So she broke and slapped Dorothy so hard she fell to the ground. Smarting and laughing from the wound it was the best victory the she had ever garnered. Especially when she picked her self up and stepped over to Relena who feared violent retribution. The fear had been clear in the princess's eyes as a wolfish grin inched over Dorothy's face.

That was the beginning of everything really. The beginning of a three-year thing that could hardly be called love but was something deeper than mere lust, maybe it had been hope. It was hard to tell, because whatever it was Relena's act of violence was rewarded with the kind of kiss most girls never receive in a lifetime of searching.

The memory slipped away quickly as the waiter brought over Dorothy's meal. She hated to linger on the past. Nothing good ever came of it. It bit at her though putting her in a sour mood that was amplified as a calm and steady voice rallied her attention.

"You know the rules of the conference clearly state that all attendees must not leave the area with out a Preventor escort?"

"I shall have to remember that for future reference," was the biting reply. Dorothy kept her gaze on the water as she continued, "Maybe Une would be willing."

"Must you do that?"

She shook her head. "I'm not in a good mood. It's been a long and tedious week, especially since so many forums and meetings keep getting delayed because of someone's speeches."

She looked up briefly catching a familiar glance of irritation.

"May I join you," the intruder asked as she pulled over a chair and took a seat.

Dorothy sneered, although it was a slight thing and not easily caught, "So nice of you to ask permission Ms. Darlain. It's a free world…for now… You may sit where you like."

***********************

**And the lady's feeling

Like the moon that she loved

And we fight… for the northern star**

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It was well nigh impossible for a moment to be more uncomfortable. Filled with cutting silence and the occasional flicker and burst from the light show across the water, the delayed boom of the fireworks edging in briefly. Relena sighed and bit at her bottom lip. She made a habit of it when she was uncomfortable or at a loss. Both instances were present and she bit down a little harder than normal. The goddess across from her kept her gaze steady on the show.

Unable to keep up the silence and unable to be elegant if not tactfully cruel Dorothy asked, "Why are you bothering me Relena?"

The princess stirred a bit leaning across the table. "Maybe I just wanted to talk to you."

"We have nothing to discuss," Dorothy paused adding, "Except maybe that prissy colonial addendum that was passed through yesterday evening. Why put your name on something that won't last?" She considered the statement and shook her head, "You could just quit playing the adult instead of being trampled into dust by it. It would be easier and despite your beliefs, have the desired effect on your life."

"I'd really rather not argue."

"Then don't and stop looking for a fight."

"I'm not looking for a fight," Relena confessed doing her best to draw Dorothy's attention.

It didn't work. The goddess wouldn't look her way.

"I didn't think it was possible," the Vice Minister stated, slightly shocked. She sat back in her chair and whispered, "I'm sorry if I hurt you."

In the past that would have been enough to make Dorothy charge into a full battle and take no prisoners. However she merely looked the girl dead in the eye and replied, "It was my own fault for falling in the first place dearest, nothing to be sorry for and nothing to worry about. I'm sure you're being well taken care of."

"We broke up," was the immediate response.

Dorothy perked an eyebrow, "Good for her… I'm not taking you back."

The girl huffed, "I don't want to be taken back."

"Liar, liar," she whispered.

She looked closely into Relena's deep blue eyes. She found truth there but not much. Mostly she saw what she expected and that was all want and need. Need like she'd never seen. It was flattering but she knew better than to fall into to it.

"Three years princess that's what we had, that's what you took and I gave and now it's gone. You can't fix it… not ever."

"He left too you know," Relena said after a moments thought. "He never kept his promise."

"Of course he couldn't love," Dorothy said trying not to sound comforting. "You are this burning light in the distance. And you draw people to you like, pardon the crude analogy, a bug zapper. They all want you and even if you burn them they will always come back. It's too late to try and deny it you are the very symbol of perfection. And as sullied as you are… and as low as you sink… and as much as you want to be extinguished it will never happen, because even those with the power to break you eventually want to protect you. Shame on us for not knowing better but thank God a few of us aren't so blinded we can learn to escape…even if it stings."

"I'm too young for this."

"So am I, so is he. So are his friends, your brother, those serving as senior officers at the Preventors. We are the young saviors of the world. We have a duty, but no one ever said we couldn't take a vacation. There are no excuses," Dorothy replied and it stung her because it meant she lost somewhere. It meant she was fallible and for once it was quite all right. She motioned to the waiter to bring her check.

Relena looked overly downcast and Dorothy didn't have a thing to offer her. Even if she did she doubted she would actually make the effort to do so.

"What were we," the princess asked quietly.

"Lovers dearest."

"But not in love"

Dorothy clicked her tongue and gave into her instincts, "I don't know if there is a word for what we were that's proper. I know it hurt when you left for someone else, and I know that not enough time has passed because every time I look at you I feel the sting." Her eyes shut for a moment and then she continued, "And I think it was impossible to have anything happily ever after. You just can't admit to the world what you really want."

"And what is that," Relena asked sharply. "Destruction? Normalcy? What do I really want? And how could you possibly know?"

The check came and Dorothy forced a smile before returning back to the task at hand.

"You want people to stop treating you like a princess in a fairy tale. You want to stop knights from saving you… but you won't get what you want because you don't know how to tell those heroes no."

Dorothy looked over the bill briefly reached into her purse and threw a large wad of cash on the table. Stood and tried not to react when Relena caught her arm. She sighed; made immobile by a desperation she was all too familiar with. With an easy move she turned to face the girl, winced slightly as Relena moved closer, wrapped an arm around her waist, took her lips.

Dorothy pulled back slightly to whisper in the Vice Minister's ear, "I could, for all I've just said and been through… I could give you everything you want this very moment. But I'm not and I won't because I just can't afford to love you ever again."

She backed away and despite herself made it out to her car and back to the hotel without shedding a tear. She was grateful for that. Grateful because she had just admitted something she'd been refusing to believe for three years.

*******************************

** And the woman may be awestruck

And the woman may truly care

But the woman is so tired…

So the woman disappears…**

*******************************

The last evening of the conference was closed with a long and intriguing speech about the heroes of the wars that were too young to have to face adversity and a formal party that included light dancing and heady amounts of champagne. Dorothy wasn't sure if she should feel flattered or ripped off as Relena spoke. It was rather disgusting hearing some of her own words twisted into to something that made the rest of the conference goers ecstatic with pride and support. She shook it off though and maintained her self through the party. She managed to put a few people in their place when they began to unknowingly bash her family members, danced and had a few sips of the free but fairly cheap champagne that flowed through the room.

Any hopes of a "happy" and content evening faded quickly as Dorothy's stormy eyes caught the princess slipping out of the so called celebration hand in hand with an exuberant and obviously star struck clerk. Eyes narrowed she managed to take in a deep breath with out those around her taking notice. But someone noticed the intent stare she laid upon the exiting Vice Foreign Minister because Dorothy heard her voice low and clear behind her.

"Ms. Catalonia I think perhaps we should go out to the balcony and have a small chat," the voice paused and Dorothy figured she was watching the tiny indiscretions being made by the diplomat. "As his Excellency pointed out from time to time… it is best if you remember to breathe when we make our exit."

The goddess brushed back her platinum blonde hair and eased away from the group of people she was pretending to talk to. Slipped outside to the small balcony overlooking the city. It was odd how far off in the distance the lights of the city and the stars in the sky were almost indecipherable from each other. There was a bit of the breeze coming in off the shore filling the air with an almost salty scent, and in the background… roses?

"Are you all right?"

It was the lady.

Dorothy glanced over her shoulder and noted that the Preventor was holding two glasses. They weren't filled with champagne. She brought her self around all the way and leaned back against the railing took the glass that was offered and tried to manage one of her many grins.

"I'm perfect," Dorothy managed to spit out just before she took a sip of what she came to recognize as scotch. "You do know I'm under the legal drinking age," she quipped.

"Yes well… there are special rules for those at the conference," Une retorted. "After all no one really seems to mind giving a teenager a large and important political office. Who is really going to care if you have a drink?"

"No one," Dorothy whispered.

She took another sip even though scotch was not her favorite.

The Preventor took a seat on the only chair, crossing her legs elegantly before taking a quick sip and setting the glass on the ground. Hazelnut brown eyes reflective if not sincere in their concern. Dorothy wondered what Une could possibly say to make her feel better, or why the woman felt the need to save her from the confines of the party.

Remember to breathe the lady had advised… and the blonde was suddenly taken back to that day she went hunting with her oh so distant cousin. Despite her grandfather's orders Trieze had let her have a gun when they were far enough out of sight of the rest of the group. He taught her how to aim and reminded her that she shouldn't hold her breath. Remember to breathe and when the target is in sight…Bang! You shoot.

She smiled over at the lady who wasn't staring but watching her closely.

"Feeling better," the lady asked quietly.

"No," Dorothy confessed quickly, "I was just remembering something and it made me smile."

"Memories can be crutches if you are not careful," Une stated. "But memories are sometimes all we have."

"True."

"I hadn't realized you and Relena were a couple until now," the Preventor offered in something that could have been regret but clearly wasn't. "She never mentioned it."

The goddess shrugged, "She won't admit what she wants."

"So you mentioned last night."

Dorothy perked an eyebrow; "You were there?"

"Conference members are not to leave without proper Preventor escorts or personal security," Une replied quickly. "I had to follow you. It's only a pity she showed up."

The blonde shook her head, "No it was actually good of her. I had the opportunity to learn something about myself."

"Possibly," Une stood from her seat and picked up the glass of scotch. She took sip and leaned against the railing near Dorothy. "Fourteen years old", she held out the glass. "Never drink scotch under twelve years of age."

"Interesting advice but to deaf ears. I really don't care for it," the goddess stated. "Why did you drag me out here?"

"To keep you from making a scene."

"I wasn't going to make a scene."

"No?" A brown eyebrow popped up accompanied by a wolfish smirk.

"No…"

"Maybe I dragged you out here to keep myself from making a scene," Une confessed.

From inside they could hear things beginning to wind down. Dorothy wasn't sure what she was going to do with her self. She liked being outside on the balcony and away from people who wore her down. And surprisingly she enjoyed Une's subtle presence.

*************************************

***Oh I went searching for an answer…

Up the stairs… and down the hall

Not find an answer

Just to hear the call

Of a night bird singing

Come away… come away***

***********************************

In the end she found herself back in her room and alone. The small bit of scotch combined with cheap wine and champagne slowly taking hold in a slight rush. She slipped into a hot shower and immerged sober and refreshed. Clicked on the suite's stereo and thumbed through the many selections available before finding one she was satisfied with. She found the parallel between a few of the songs and her present situation a bit amusing. She sang along slightly off key. Dorothy was the first to admit her vocal chords had no talent but she tried and that was always the most important thing.

After along while there was a knock on her door. It was either the occupant of the suite next to her coming over to ask that the music be turned down, or it was going to be someone she wasn't in the mood for, like Relena or a clerk. She shuddered at the thought.

She unlatched the door and swung it open met quickly by intriguing hazelnut brown eyes and a small bunch of roses. The goddess smirked and pulled the door open wide allowing the Preventor inside. She took the roses and unable to find a vase, set them on a table. The lady had moved to the stereo and turned the music down.

"There," she began, "now that I've taken care of that…"

"What are you doing," Dorothy asked before Une could begin whatever excuse she had.

"Taking care of a noise complaint and delivering flowers," the lady replied.

The blonde shook her head and noted the envelope in the lady's hand.

"Do you really want to read this," the Preventor asked concern lacing her tone. "I mean really it won't say anything you haven't already heard from her."

"It won't change anything."

"No? No, maybe it won't."

"Jealous?"

"Why would I be," she considered for a moment. "Perhaps… maybe slightly guilty."

"Why," Dorothy moved to a chair and sat down.

The lady looked a bit grim, "I should have known."

She took the double meaning in the sound of her voice. Took the edge of what it confessed and offered and considered for a moment. "Perhaps you should have. Tell me one thing though."

"What?"

"Would you mind staying up with me? I'm afraid I'm too tired to sleep and I could use someone to talk to."

A slight grin slipped across the lady's face. "What would we talk about?"

"Anything everything…You can explain how the princess got you. Or you could just help me with something that's been on my mind."

"And what is that?"

"Family," Dorothy replied. "I had this very distant cousin once and he died before I could have a nice long talk with him."

"I think," Une whispered. "I think I could help you with that."

************************

And I am one of many

Flawless and few

A god among men

Kin to those greater than time will allow

And I'm not sure where I'm going

And I'm not sure I want to know

I'm too young to feel this old

Too old to feel this lost

And I am just one of many

One of the few who was perhaps…

Pulled too far out their intended station

Pulled into something hotter than the flames of destiny

End…