Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Wishful Thinking Book Three: Replaying the Unsaid ❯ Chapter 4

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing is not mine. No copyright infringement intended. I am not making money out of this. Original part of the fiction is the property and is copyrighted to the author.
Category: AU, shounen ai
Rating: PG
Pairings: 1+2+1, eventual 1x2x1, 5xM, some 2+3+2 (this part only)
WARNINGS: sap, some OOCness, some angst, and 2+3+2 lime
Completed: Feb. 10, 2002
Dedication: This is for Emmy-chan. Lots of thanks to Menz-chan for being such a great beta-reader.

Title: Wishful Thinking Book Three: Replaying the Unsaid (Chapter Four)
Author: AJ Maxwell ( webmaster@weluvduo.zzn.com )

While the winds continued to whistle eerily just beyond the suite's glass windows, the torrent of grief slowly abated, until it only droned like muted static; unheard, unseen, unfelt at the moment, but still there. A lone sconce was lighted by a fumbling hand some time in the mourning, and the air conditioning was turned on several minutes after the heartfelt, and soul-wrenching sobs died down.

Trowa, puzzled by the fact that Duo hadn't known about Quatre's death until that day, was about to ask why and how but then decided against it. Asking now might add to the pain and guilt that Duo was already experiencing and that was something he had no intention of doing. Finally, he broke the silence.

"Meiran told you?"

Duo sniffled, then answered. "Yeah. She sent you here?"

"Yes."

There was silence again.

"I'm just gonna get some tissues," said Duo, lethargically getting on his feet. "My nose is icky." Duo smiled feebly.

Trowa returned the smiled in the semi-darkness. "Mine too."

"I'll get you some as well." He stated then disappeared into the depths of the suite.

The tall, lanky man stood up from where he was sitting on the floor Then sat himself on one of the plush couches of the suite's living room.

It feels different to be with Duo now, he realized, When Quatre was alive we barely talked to each other, we didn't even hang out together. Back then, Quatre was like the bridge between us; he was my best friend next to Heero, I was his best friend next to Duo, and he was Duo's best friend. Why is it that we never got to be close friends? He sighed. I always felt awkward when there were the three of us...I felt like I was only tagging along...I always wished that that awkwardness would evaporate, but I guess that came at a high price.

"I'm back," the braided writer pronounced as he bounded into the living room, a box of tissues in his hand.

"Here, Tro. Tissues galore." Duo sat down next to Trowa on the couch and fiddled with his braid for a few seconds, then offered, "The bathroom's that way."

Trowa looked up and gazed at Duo for a few moments before replying.

"Thanks."

Time passed in a blur between the two. They talked about anything and everything. Mainly things like themselves, what they had been up to for the last seven years, but most of all, a young blonde-haired man was the main focus of their conversation.

"Did Quatre ever tell you?"

Duo propped his chin on his right hand and looked at Trowa, mild curiosity sparking in his Violet eyes. "Did Quatre ever tell me about what?"

Trowa stared at the ceiling for a moment, trying to find a way to break this to the braided companion.

"About...about the two of us."

Leaning on his elbows, Duo neared Trowa until his face was looming over the green-eyed man's face.

"What I know is that the two of you were best friends. Was there more?"

Trowa nodded imperceptibly, which the other man did not see in the lack of light, but felt the movement on the couch beneath him. "We loved each other, but it wasn't the kind of love that was..." he searched for a word, "usual. I know that every love has its own uniqueness, but ours was really different. Really different."

Duo blinked in confusion. "What do you mean, Trowa?"

He was answered with a sigh, and Trowa continued, "In the span of our friendship, we usually talked about our music, and about the girls we liked the most. When we both went to college, we discovered that our feelings for each other had somehow evolved into something deeper, yet the bonds of friendship were still strongly intact--"

"Are you saying," Duo said slowly, still digesting what he heard, "that you loved each other, but your friendship held both of you back?"

"That about sums it up," agreed Trowa. "It was like, whenever we kissed each other, there was a part of us that reveled in the beauty of it, and there was a part that screamed otherwise."

"So what did you do?"

"We agreed to be friends."

"That's it?!"

Trowa nodded, his bangs brushed against Duo's. It was then that he realized how close Duo really was.

Duo couldn't believe it. Didn't they love each other enough to make it work? Wasn't it enough? His mind raged desperately inside him. He had always been a firm advocate of love, even if he knew that it was completely naive of him in this world. Is it really true that love isn't always enough?

So lost he was in his reflections that he wasn't aware of how close he was to Trowa, until he felt warm, inviting lips brushing against his.

One, two, three seconds, until they didn't know anymore who was underneath whom or who was straddling whom.

Hardness thrust against answering hardness. A jolt of pleasure shot through them like a bolt of lightning, but instead of feeding the fire that grew out of nowhere, it drenched any telltale flame. Not even a wisp of smoke was left.

"I'm sorry," they chorused, still panting in the darkness.

What the hell happened?!?! Heero is my best friend! How could I do this to him?

Oh gods...he'd just told me that he was in love with my dead best friend, and not an hour after I'm making out with him?!?! What the hell was I thinking?! Was I thinking at all?

"I'm really sorry, Duo," Trowa apologized again. "I didn't mean to. I-i miss Quatre so badly and I…just wasn't thinking!"

Duo held his head in both hands as he answered, "Look, man, I'm sorry, too. It won't happen again."

Trowa nodded resolutely. "It won't happen again.

"It was just an accident. Wasn't meant to happen..."

"And it's good that we stopped on time. Not early enough to prevent the other things, but-"

"I know but we still stopped and it was only a kiss. Nothing happened."

"We stopped. Yes."

The two tried to catch their breath again, this time from frantically reassuring one another that nothing of it was meant to happen. When they were finally calm enough, the uneasy silence stretched.

I admit that there was something there, Trowa considered, It wasn't like with Quatre. I know, if given the chance, there could be something special with Duo, He winced. But that's what I'm afraid of.

It seemed that the other man was also thinking on the same lines, because what he said next was actually a consoling rejection, and confession.

"You know, if I wasn't so hung up on Heero, you and I might've had a chance."

The statement did not bother Trowa but Duo said something about still having feelings for Heero, which excited him all at once.

All this time they'd been running in circles like--like headless chickens! He smacked himself, and proclaimed, "He's still in love with you!"

Duo was still trying to catch his breath. "H-huh?"

Trowa already got up, and was pacing the room. "Remember when I gave him your letter?"

"Yeah?"

"I told him it was from you."

There was a pause, then, "What'd he say?"

"He was going to tell you how much he loved you on graduation day."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?" Duo sprung off the king-sized bed with such speed and jubilation that Trowa was startled to find himself being glomped by his braided friend.

"Do you mean that?! Is that true, Tro?!! Oh Gods!!! He was going to do that??!"

"Yes," he replied, trying to pry off the braided bundle of elation. "Let *cough* go! *wheeze* Can't breathe! *gasp* "

Duo let Trowa go, after staring, for a few moments, at the rather unusual shade of blue his face was turning, then bounced up and down on the couch happily. "And he still loves me?"

The sight of the violet-eyed man bouncing on the couch and grinning like a maniac made Trowa laugh for the first time in two years.

"Yes, Duo. He still loves you."

"YES!" He stopped bouncing, and laughed along with Trowa. The whole day had been such an emotional roller coaster ride, for the both of them but he was damn happy that the ride had ended without them both rushing to the nearest trash can to throw-up in.

. t o b e c o n t i n u e d .