Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Wishful Thinking Book Two: All Boxed-Up ❯ Chapter 4

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing is not mine. No copyright infringement intended. I am not making money out of this. Original part of the fiction is the property and is copyrighted to the author.
Category: AU, shounen ai get-together fic
Rating: PG
Pairing: 1+2+1, and a surprise!!! XD
WARNING: Hmm...the same things. OOCness and sappiness. And Duo crushing on somebody besides Heero deserves a warning, too. ^^
Dedication: For Emmy-chan
Notes: They're still freshmen here, 'k. ^_^

Title: Wishful Thinking, Book Two: All Boxed-Up (Chapter Four)
Author: AJ Maxwell ( webmaster@weluvduo.zzn.com )

I just cannot believe it. It's been a week since Duo's unfinished poem practically flew towards me, and for all that time we keep bumping into each other. Not literally 'bumping' into each other--I would have loved that, but unfortunately it isn't so. We just see each other a lot and pass by each other along the corridors. And whenever I dare to look at him, I am torn to pieces all over again.

I just know that he's devastated about what happened. The lack of emotion in his eyes makes me feel like self-destructing, but never did I feel like returning his poem. I just can't. I just can't imagine what he'll think of me when he finds out. I may be such a foolish bastard sometimes, but still. Just thinking of what might happen makes me want to run the opposite direction and be never seen again.

"What are you thinking?"

"Oh." I blink and my gaze focus on Trowa, who has just come from getting some chicken and chips. He sits across me, then supplies me with the information, "He's at the bench behind me facing you."

I look at my soda, wondering why I bought it in the first place. "I didn't know that."

"I figured that much. You were spacing out again. Since it's obvious that there is something wrong, are you going to tell me about it?" he asks.

"It's just that--"

"Duo," an authoritative voice cut through the noise of the cafeteria. I stop mid-sentence to look at what is happening. Noin, a straight-A senior and the editor-in-chief of the school paper, stops by Duo's table and looks at him with a slight frown. What is the problem now, I wonder. Duo looks a bit nervous.

"What are they saying?" I ask Trowa, who is nearer to the group.

"I can't understand the rest of what they're saying...wait. I think it's about Duo messing up with something...that he has to fix it."

I nod. I hope it's not too bad. When Noin is already a few feet away, I look at Duo, who, to my surprise, is blushing to the roots of his hair and grinning like a maniac.

I have difficulty describing what I suddenly feel. It's like I feel betrayed and confused and at the same time I feel like smiling because Duo looks so adorable blushing like that. Why is he reacting like that? As I ask that question the annoying voice of whatever it is starts up again, "He looks familiar, don't you think, Heero? He almost acts just like you--"

'Shut up!' I mentally growl. 'Don't tell me it's because he has a crush on Noin...'

The Voice just whistles a nonsense tune.

'He can't like her. He just can't,' I repeat to myself over and over.

"Heero?"

I blink. "What?"

"I think I forgot to tell you something," Trowa says softly while poking chicken bits with a toothpick. His eyes tell me that he's going to tell me something that's a secret, and that I must not react in a way that people might suspect something, since Quatre is just behind him. I lean forward. "What is it?"

I slowly lean back as my suspicion is confirmed.

~Could there be a more cruel fate than this?
To live in stormy climes and whipping winds
To live in a weather-beaten dwelling,
And still yearn for the soft touch of your skin?
Dreaming of your starry eyes day and night,
Oh, just looking at me, saying a lot
For your eyes, they speak volumes in minutes,
And keep me warm through the deadliest chill
All throughout the night, but fate is cruel
As I said, and I am to die in here
In this shoddiness, in this frigid place
Shivering from cold, dying, all alone
Still I am dreaming, your name on my lips,
Parched they are, still calling your name...last sigh.

--Sonnet #1 by Shinigami~

This is the first time that I've ever been torn between crumpling his poetry and keeping it. His words in this sonnet speak exactly of what I feel. I am such a fool to think...to even wish that these are all for me when all along they've been written for Noin. And what a way to make a good impression on her. Of course Noin won't be able to not read his poems, which are all dedicated to her.

What is this box for? I am only filling up my head with lies. I've always known that Duo will never feel the same. How could he ever feel the same when he's straight? Lucrezia Noin is mature, driven, an overachiever, and well-liked while I'm just Heero Yuy; asthmatic varsity basketball player (which might seem impossible but I haven't had any attacks for two years now), Math semi-whiz, and nothing more. What can I possibly have that would make him notice me and not her?

This is useless. He can't be gay. I'm sure that Noin won't be able to resist him when she finds out about how he feels. Either sink or move on, Yuy.

I have made my choice. It's better this way.

I'm going to burn the box, along with everything in it.

Goodbye, Duo.

. t o b e c o n t i n u e d .