Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Yaruki--Determination ❯ Okay, let's re-cap! ( Chapter 6 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Athena--Chibi 
It's time to go back to Duo and Yuu! ^_^
Again, there are some FFN bashings in this. ^_^V
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 05.01.2003 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.9K | Visits: 142 | Status: Work In Progress
It's time to go back to Duo and Yuu! ^_^
Again, there are some FFN bashings in this. ^_^V
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 05.01.2003 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.9K | Visits: 142 | Status: Work In Progress
Pairings: 1x5, 3x4, 2xYuu
Warnings: Shounen ai, my twisted sense of humor, Trowa, Duo, etc...
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Please, for your own sake, don't eat or drink while reading these, unless you have no sense of humor or great control over your mouth. I have seen enough food/drink-encrusted screens for one lifetime thank you.
Disclaimer: Chibi own GW=NONONONO Chibi own fanfic=YESYESYES Chibi own Yuu-utsu=YESYESYES
'Think'
"Talk"
~~~Time passes~~~
***Flash back***
########################################################## #####
"This Shinagami speaking...come in Depression." The young man in all black, with a braid down to his knees said into a walkie-talkie, the shadows from the building casting a mask over the top half of his face.
"Duo...I'm right here." Yuu said, raising her eyebrow at Duo as she came up behind him.
"Aww...come on Yuu! Use the code names...they're fun!" Duo whined at Yuu as she turned on the light, revealing who Duo was. (He's Duo by the way, if you didn't catch that one.)
"Duo, I am NOT using those nicknames." Yuu said firmly, as she came up and gave Duo a big hug and a kiss.
"Mmm..." Duo murmured.
"What?" Yuu said, pulling away from their lip lock.
"No..." Duo said and pulled Yuu back.
"Oh..." Duo reached up and undid Yuu-utsu's long red hair from its prison of a ponytail. Yuu clamped her arms firmly behind Duo's back and let her body wash over his like a wave upon a rocky shore as they fell to the ground. Duo smirked.
~~~~~~~~20 Minutes later~~~~~~~~~
"Okay, now that that's done..." Yuu said, standing up and gathering her scattered clothes.
"Hey! Don't make it sound like you didn't have fun!" Duo grinned manically; Yuu raised an eyebrow sardonically and threw Duo's pants at him.
"Now, about my assignment. I want to switch. You're right...Trowa and Quatre ARE boring beyond all reasoning. They don't DO anything. They're just full of sickening gooey sweetness...it's just...ugh. Too cute." Yuu said, disgusted. Duo couldn't contain himself, and he exploded with laughter.
"HAHAHAHA! I TOLD YOU!" Duo said, rolling around on the ground. "You should see Wufei and Hiro! They're hilarious together. Although, Wufei almost caught me...I was a little too careless." Yuu tugged on Duo's braid.
"Please...for the love of nightly activities...let me switch."
"Nightly activities?"
"Remember, this is the censored FFN version."
"Oh...yeah, right. Sorry, forgot for a while."
"Well, you should be more careful! You're such a moron at times...I don't know why I'm even with you."
"Because you LOOOOOOOVE me." Duo licked his lips seductively. Yuu-utsu snorted.
"HEY! Don't make me glomp you!" Duo grinned, latched onto Yuu's legs, pulled her to the ground and proceeded to transform into Starfish-Duo.
"Duo...I...require...air...to...LIVE..." Yuu struggled out as Duo cut off her oxygen supply.
"Oh...hehehehehe...sorry! EEP! Don't kill me!!!!" Duo said as Yuu death glared him and pulled out four throwing knives from various places in her body.
"...If you switch with me I won't bite you." Yuu smiled wryly and spun one of her throwing daggers like a basketball. You know, I've always wanted to learn how to do that...one of these days I'm going to get someone to teach me and I'm gonna do it! YES! I will SPIN!!! SPIIIIN!!!! Yay...whee...I wish I was a spinning basketball, that would amuse me...^_^
"HEY! Pay attention! You just totally missed me saying 'yes' to switching 'Fei and Hiro for Q-Tip and No-Ass." Oh...are you serious? *Looks at original script* by golly, you're right. Hehehe...I smell a flashback coming on!
"Wait, what?" Yuu said, reading over the author's comments. Oh, I can just feel one coming. So, please, finish up here people. Chop chop.
"Er..." Duo started. Okay, time's up.
"Hey! Wait a second!" What? Look people, I've gotta move on.
"Wait just a second." Duo said defiantly. Fine, but let's do this quickly. "Well, what do you say that we collaborate? You know, we'll scratch your back and you'll scratch ours." Er...why? "Well, it's more fun that way." But, you'll have to be MY lackeys, not vice versa. "Eh...well...Yuu, what do you think?"
"I think this conversation shouldn't have been added."
"But why not? Now we can be a bigger part of the story!" Duo exclaimed, waving his arms. Well, yeah, you can...I guess. And of course, I can help you out with keeping you generally free from weird accidents.
"Wait a second. No weird accidents?" Yeah, that's what I said Yuu. "We'll do it."
"YAY!" (They have NO idea what they're getting themselves into...^_^')
***FLASH BACK THREE DAYS...(1st day of the 1st week)*** (Ha. I have a good nose...and a strange personality. O_o Is that a good combination?)
"Duo, I want the easiest couple, I don't want to have to work at all at this." Yuu said as she flipped through a book, looking for her favorite part.
"Well, Trowa is pretty hard to get around...but so is Hiro. So either way you're sorta gonna hafta work." Duo was lounging back in his chair, one of his legs thrown over one of the chair's arms, and hands hanging limply by his sides.
"Then who's EASIER?" Yuu asked, glaring without raising her head so that she looked at Duo through her eyelashes.
"Well...I guess Trowa and Quatre are easier..." Duo put one finger to his lips, as if in thought. He then smiled sweetly at Yuu, who rolled her eyes back to her book.
"Fine, I'll take them." Yuu said nonchalantly.
"Well, I should warn you though Yuu, they're REALLY boring. They'll probably end up getting together by the first day." (Man, is he psychic or something??)
"Whatever..." Yuu said as she began to read the passage she was looking for. Duo considered for a moment the consequences of his next action, and decided to just go with it. Duo threw a dirty, spit encrusted sock at Yuu and ran away laughing as Yuu left her novel to chase Duo around the living room.
"DUO!" Yuu yanked out a giant bazooka Chibi-Style and started firing at random like some sort of crazy mushroom that got a hold of a bazooka and had finally had enough of chewing on dead and rotting things.
"Hehehehe....ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK!" Duo exclaimed as the missles nearly hit him. His braid flying behind him like a lost snake with schizophrenia, Duo scampered from one room to the next in order to try to avoid Yuu-utsu's flying missle assault.
"I'm going to get you back for that-GAH!" Yuu slamed right into Duo's chest as he stopped randomly in a doorway. Yuu's momentum made them fly into the kitchen counter and as Duo was about to hit the counter Yuu hurriedly shoved him away and hit the counter with full force in her gut.
"AH!" Yuu said as the wind flew from her diaphram and out of her lungs. She gasped for breath and collapsed on the kitchen tile floor.
"YUU!" Duo yelled out, they were just playing around. He hadn't meant for Yuu to get hurt! 'No, Yuu...geez, I'm such a moron. This is all my fault...'
"Duo...I'm...fine..." Yuu gasped out. Duo fell onto Yuu's chest sobbing.
"I'M SORRY!" Yuu rose an eyebrow and patted Duo's head awkwardly.
"I'm...fine." Yuu said, still not breathing totally normally. Suddenly, Duo stopped crying, and swept Yuu of the floor. (Man, Duo's STRONG!)
"I'll make it up to..." Duo said into Yuu's ear, and he nuzzled her neck. Even Yuu, who is always calm and collected, melted in Duo's arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. Unfortunetly, this meant that Duo wasn't watching where he was going...
"ACK." Yuu exclaimed as Duo walked her head into a wall. Oh, he's in trouble now. ^_^V
***FLASH BACK A DAY BEFORE THAT***
"Yes! I finally got it!" Duo slapped his hand down on his palm.
"Got what?" Yuu asked, not really seeming to care. Duo scampered up to her chair, and sat on his knees directly in front of her, his body poised as if he were holding back the Hoover Dam with a band-aid.
"I know how to get Wufei into this." Duo bounced his body to each and every word, which reminded Yuu vaguely of a cockatiel.
"How?"
"Remember how two years ago I threw that really big party?"
"Yeah..." Yuu said, acting as if she were engrossed in the newspaper, although she was completely aware of every breath that Duo took.
"Well, we played Truth-or-Dare, right?"
"Uh-huh..."
"Well, I challenged Wufei and he choose Truth, right?"
"Sure."
"And...he told me that he and ***** were ******* and **** in the **** with ******* *****, and even **************!" (FFN censored version)
"HOLY SHIT!" (If I didn't censor that, you can imagine what I *had* to censor. O_o) Yuu exclaimed, blushing a bright red.
"I know, I nearly passed out. Luckily, I had been drinking heavily that night and didn't care as much. There was more to it, but-"
"DUO! DON'T GO THERE! Even *we* don't do that...and we've been married for two years now!"
"I know...scary huh? So yeah, I blackmail him." Duo mentally ticked off the little chibi Wufei in his mind with an indelible ink pen, and promptly deleted the corresponding thing on his Things-To-Do-List.
"I thought you were also blackmailing Trowa?" Yuu said, once again returning to her newspaper, permanently scarred with images of Wufei and ***** while they ******* in the **** in the **** with ******* *****, and a **************...oh, the horror! Yuu shuddered slightly from the mere memory of the memory.
"I am! And Quatre...hehehe, they were the easiest to snare. All I had to do was blackmail them with revealing two tapes to the other one."
"What?"
"Well, I snuck into Trowa's apartment and hacked his computer. Then, when he came home, I sent him lots of p*rno with the main star always a blond-haired-blue-eyed male who at least resembled Quatre in some way. Then I taped his reactions. Then, when he went to sleep that night, I slipped him some sleeping pills, and gave him a blow-up doll. Hehehehe...then I taped that. And I threatened to send it to Quatre if he didn't agree to my plan. I hadn't even finished my sentence before he said okay. I still have the tapes. Wanna watch?" Duo wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Yuu flushed and threw her newspaper at Duo.
"You are a sick, sick, sick young man." Yuu shook her head disapprovingly.
"HEY! Just because I'm bi!" Duo crossed his arms and held up his head high.
"I'm bi too you moron." Yuu said, throwing her sock at Duo, which flew in a straight (hahaha, STRAIGHT) line into his mouth (it was open for protest of being a moron).
"ARSHUAGOHSHS!!!" Duo exclaimed, and tried to claw the dirty sock out of his mouth quickly. (You know what I find amusing? The fact that spell-check doesn't find that that word wrong...it's actually a word of some sort...interesting...)
"Hehehe..." Yuu let out a small laugh as Duo gagged, and made some of the most ridiculous faces, much like Milly does.
"You...I'm going to get you back for that one..." Duo said, stuffing the sock into his voluminous pockets without Yuu noticing.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Yuu said, Duo grinned evilly.
***Flash back another day***
"Well, that settles Quatre." Duo put down the phone.
"What did you do to him?" Hiro asked Duo. Hiro was staying with Duo and Yuu until Duo finished with the other men. Hiro had been the first to buckle, on the simple grounds that he owed Duo a huge favor when Duo had saved his life from Relena when he and Duo pretended to be gay. Well, Hiro pretended, Duo just acted like Duo. Without Duo's help, he would have been snagged into marriage to a now more-than-slightly-crazy Relena. The horror of it was almost as bad as Wufei and ***** while they ******* in the **** in the **** with ******* *****, and a **************. Almost.
"Oh, just blackmailed him with the e-mails."
"You are a scheming, conniving, evil Duo."
"Hey. Only on Tuesdays." Hiro looked at his watch.
"It is Tuesday."
"Well then! I have an excuse." Duo stuck his tongue out at Hiro, who emotionlessly shrugged and left the room. Sometimes Duo gets to the point where he's had too much fun and needs to take it out on someone. Time to sic him on Yuu. No, you know what, Duo will probably seek out Yuu on his own today. 'One...two...and...three.' Hiro thought. On cue of three, Duo yelled out Yuu's name.
"YUU-UTSU! YUU! WHERE ARE YOU, YUU?" Duo yelled gleefully as he pranced into the next room. Hiro shook his head.
~~~~~In Hiro's Room~~~~~
'It is so dangerous here...my life is in constant peril...ah well. Don't care. If I'm lucky, maybe I'll self-destruct randomly and won't have to go through with this...I can't believe that I'm partner...er...with...ack...I need a way of saying this that doesn't imply that we're lovers.' Hiro thought, not showing any outward signs of his thoughts. Let's see, how about, you can't believe that Duo stuck you with Wufei? 'That'll work. I can't believe that Duo stuck me with Chang. I can't believe it. It's not even like we have any feelings for each other or anything. It's just going to be an awkward two weeks that will probably mentally scar us for the rest of our lives. Hmm...could be interesting.' Hiro smiled that smile that he gives people before he tries to kill them.
And so ends Hiro's monologue...speaking of Hiro and Wufei, let's move on back to our lovely Asian couple~~
***First Week-Third Day-5:11pm (17:11pm)***
"So...do you wish to eat out tonight, Yui?" Wufei asked, not looking up at Hiro.
"Sure." Hiro said absent-mindedly. Wufei frowned, he really had a thing with passive people; they reminded him of weak women.
"Where do you want to eat?" Wufei asked, his Chinese training allowing him to ask the question serenely and with patience.
"Anywhere's fine." Hiro shrugged. Wufei snapped, as he is prone to do when aggravated.
"YUI! What is with you, huh?! Can't you even assert yourself to this one problem?! You have a will, so use it! Don't just assume the role of a weak woman! Your attitude towards even this trivial situation is an injustice to your sex! Stand up for your opinions!" Wufei ranted, Hiro looked up. 'Wow...he looks like he's having fun. I wonder if that's really as fun as it looks...maybe I'll try it sometime. I'll probably freak people out though, I don't know if they could handle me showing that much emotion. I don't think *I* can handle showing that much emotion. Maybe I should just blow myself up? Hmm...that's always an option. Oh, woops. I missed most of Chang's rant. I hope I'm not just coming in at a weird place...my opinions? What? Oh, crap, he stopped...now I have to respond...wait! No I don't! I'm Yui Hiro! I can just blink and that's okay.' Hiro thought without emotion.
"..." Hiro blinked at Wufei. Wufei took a deep breath and kept repeating to himself a warning to *not* slap Hiro, because he didn't have a death wish.
"Yui, don't let me push you around. Look, don't go blabbing this to anyone..." Wufei cut himself short as Hiro lifted an eyebrow and looked at Wufei as if to say "And just *who* would I tell. Besides do I look like someone who tells *anyone* *anything*?"
"And just *who* would I tell? Besides, do I look like someone who tells *anyone* *anything*?" Hiro said out loud. Go figure.
"Well..." Wufei sat back down and stared at the table. "I know that I tend to be...bossy and...I've been called 'chauvinistic pig' enough times to understand that I have a problem with women and my past...and I also know that when I see anyone who's weak willed, I tend to snap. So, it just...well...it's hard to explain...I don't even know what I'm talking about." Wufei said angrily. "Just forget it!" Wufei stood up as if to leave, his face contorted in a snarl.
"Wait." Hiro said, without any inflection in his voice. "Chang, sit back down." Wufei looked over his shoulder at Hiro dangerously, but did as he was told.
"What do you think you're doing Yui, ordering me around, huh?" Wufei said angrily.
"Listen. We're stuck in this together, all right? So, if I annoy you *that* much, then just tell me and we'll work something out. I had a crappy enough life already, and I'd prefer not to make an enemy of one of the few friends that I have." Wufei's jaw dropped.
"Thit." Wufei exclaimed ('shit' for you simpler folk), and Hiro snorted.
"How do you continue to do that?" Hiro asked, as Wufei shoved his jaw back into place.
"I have no idea...more importantly, did you...er...call me a friend?"
"That's what we are, right?" Hiro glared at Wufei, Wufei recognized the glare to be Hiro's general expression glare, and therefore, Hiro was hiding whatever emotion was plaguing him on the inside.
"Well...sure."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sure. I'll end it there. Now, this chapter wasn't as amusing for good reasons. I wanted to re-cap and show what was happening before we started this story. The next chapter is going to get even weirder.
~*ATHENA*~
Warnings: Shounen ai, my twisted sense of humor, Trowa, Duo, etc...
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Please, for your own sake, don't eat or drink while reading these, unless you have no sense of humor or great control over your mouth. I have seen enough food/drink-encrusted screens for one lifetime thank you.
Disclaimer: Chibi own GW=NONONONO Chibi own fanfic=YESYESYES Chibi own Yuu-utsu=YESYESYES
'Think'
"Talk"
~~~Time passes~~~
***Flash back***
########################################################## #####
"This Shinagami speaking...come in Depression." The young man in all black, with a braid down to his knees said into a walkie-talkie, the shadows from the building casting a mask over the top half of his face.
"Duo...I'm right here." Yuu said, raising her eyebrow at Duo as she came up behind him.
"Aww...come on Yuu! Use the code names...they're fun!" Duo whined at Yuu as she turned on the light, revealing who Duo was. (He's Duo by the way, if you didn't catch that one.)
"Duo, I am NOT using those nicknames." Yuu said firmly, as she came up and gave Duo a big hug and a kiss.
"Mmm..." Duo murmured.
"What?" Yuu said, pulling away from their lip lock.
"No..." Duo said and pulled Yuu back.
"Oh..." Duo reached up and undid Yuu-utsu's long red hair from its prison of a ponytail. Yuu clamped her arms firmly behind Duo's back and let her body wash over his like a wave upon a rocky shore as they fell to the ground. Duo smirked.
~~~~~~~~20 Minutes later~~~~~~~~~
"Okay, now that that's done..." Yuu said, standing up and gathering her scattered clothes.
"Hey! Don't make it sound like you didn't have fun!" Duo grinned manically; Yuu raised an eyebrow sardonically and threw Duo's pants at him.
"Now, about my assignment. I want to switch. You're right...Trowa and Quatre ARE boring beyond all reasoning. They don't DO anything. They're just full of sickening gooey sweetness...it's just...ugh. Too cute." Yuu said, disgusted. Duo couldn't contain himself, and he exploded with laughter.
"HAHAHAHA! I TOLD YOU!" Duo said, rolling around on the ground. "You should see Wufei and Hiro! They're hilarious together. Although, Wufei almost caught me...I was a little too careless." Yuu tugged on Duo's braid.
"Please...for the love of nightly activities...let me switch."
"Nightly activities?"
"Remember, this is the censored FFN version."
"Oh...yeah, right. Sorry, forgot for a while."
"Well, you should be more careful! You're such a moron at times...I don't know why I'm even with you."
"Because you LOOOOOOOVE me." Duo licked his lips seductively. Yuu-utsu snorted.
"HEY! Don't make me glomp you!" Duo grinned, latched onto Yuu's legs, pulled her to the ground and proceeded to transform into Starfish-Duo.
"Duo...I...require...air...to...LIVE..." Yuu struggled out as Duo cut off her oxygen supply.
"Oh...hehehehehe...sorry! EEP! Don't kill me!!!!" Duo said as Yuu death glared him and pulled out four throwing knives from various places in her body.
"...If you switch with me I won't bite you." Yuu smiled wryly and spun one of her throwing daggers like a basketball. You know, I've always wanted to learn how to do that...one of these days I'm going to get someone to teach me and I'm gonna do it! YES! I will SPIN!!! SPIIIIN!!!! Yay...whee...I wish I was a spinning basketball, that would amuse me...^_^
"HEY! Pay attention! You just totally missed me saying 'yes' to switching 'Fei and Hiro for Q-Tip and No-Ass." Oh...are you serious? *Looks at original script* by golly, you're right. Hehehe...I smell a flashback coming on!
"Wait, what?" Yuu said, reading over the author's comments. Oh, I can just feel one coming. So, please, finish up here people. Chop chop.
"Er..." Duo started. Okay, time's up.
"Hey! Wait a second!" What? Look people, I've gotta move on.
"Wait just a second." Duo said defiantly. Fine, but let's do this quickly. "Well, what do you say that we collaborate? You know, we'll scratch your back and you'll scratch ours." Er...why? "Well, it's more fun that way." But, you'll have to be MY lackeys, not vice versa. "Eh...well...Yuu, what do you think?"
"I think this conversation shouldn't have been added."
"But why not? Now we can be a bigger part of the story!" Duo exclaimed, waving his arms. Well, yeah, you can...I guess. And of course, I can help you out with keeping you generally free from weird accidents.
"Wait a second. No weird accidents?" Yeah, that's what I said Yuu. "We'll do it."
"YAY!" (They have NO idea what they're getting themselves into...^_^')
***FLASH BACK THREE DAYS...(1st day of the 1st week)*** (Ha. I have a good nose...and a strange personality. O_o Is that a good combination?)
"Duo, I want the easiest couple, I don't want to have to work at all at this." Yuu said as she flipped through a book, looking for her favorite part.
"Well, Trowa is pretty hard to get around...but so is Hiro. So either way you're sorta gonna hafta work." Duo was lounging back in his chair, one of his legs thrown over one of the chair's arms, and hands hanging limply by his sides.
"Then who's EASIER?" Yuu asked, glaring without raising her head so that she looked at Duo through her eyelashes.
"Well...I guess Trowa and Quatre are easier..." Duo put one finger to his lips, as if in thought. He then smiled sweetly at Yuu, who rolled her eyes back to her book.
"Fine, I'll take them." Yuu said nonchalantly.
"Well, I should warn you though Yuu, they're REALLY boring. They'll probably end up getting together by the first day." (Man, is he psychic or something??)
"Whatever..." Yuu said as she began to read the passage she was looking for. Duo considered for a moment the consequences of his next action, and decided to just go with it. Duo threw a dirty, spit encrusted sock at Yuu and ran away laughing as Yuu left her novel to chase Duo around the living room.
"DUO!" Yuu yanked out a giant bazooka Chibi-Style and started firing at random like some sort of crazy mushroom that got a hold of a bazooka and had finally had enough of chewing on dead and rotting things.
"Hehehehe....ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK!" Duo exclaimed as the missles nearly hit him. His braid flying behind him like a lost snake with schizophrenia, Duo scampered from one room to the next in order to try to avoid Yuu-utsu's flying missle assault.
"I'm going to get you back for that-GAH!" Yuu slamed right into Duo's chest as he stopped randomly in a doorway. Yuu's momentum made them fly into the kitchen counter and as Duo was about to hit the counter Yuu hurriedly shoved him away and hit the counter with full force in her gut.
"AH!" Yuu said as the wind flew from her diaphram and out of her lungs. She gasped for breath and collapsed on the kitchen tile floor.
"YUU!" Duo yelled out, they were just playing around. He hadn't meant for Yuu to get hurt! 'No, Yuu...geez, I'm such a moron. This is all my fault...'
"Duo...I'm...fine..." Yuu gasped out. Duo fell onto Yuu's chest sobbing.
"I'M SORRY!" Yuu rose an eyebrow and patted Duo's head awkwardly.
"I'm...fine." Yuu said, still not breathing totally normally. Suddenly, Duo stopped crying, and swept Yuu of the floor. (Man, Duo's STRONG!)
"I'll make it up to..." Duo said into Yuu's ear, and he nuzzled her neck. Even Yuu, who is always calm and collected, melted in Duo's arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. Unfortunetly, this meant that Duo wasn't watching where he was going...
"ACK." Yuu exclaimed as Duo walked her head into a wall. Oh, he's in trouble now. ^_^V
***FLASH BACK A DAY BEFORE THAT***
"Yes! I finally got it!" Duo slapped his hand down on his palm.
"Got what?" Yuu asked, not really seeming to care. Duo scampered up to her chair, and sat on his knees directly in front of her, his body poised as if he were holding back the Hoover Dam with a band-aid.
"I know how to get Wufei into this." Duo bounced his body to each and every word, which reminded Yuu vaguely of a cockatiel.
"How?"
"Remember how two years ago I threw that really big party?"
"Yeah..." Yuu said, acting as if she were engrossed in the newspaper, although she was completely aware of every breath that Duo took.
"Well, we played Truth-or-Dare, right?"
"Uh-huh..."
"Well, I challenged Wufei and he choose Truth, right?"
"Sure."
"And...he told me that he and ***** were ******* and **** in the **** with ******* *****, and even **************!" (FFN censored version)
"HOLY SHIT!" (If I didn't censor that, you can imagine what I *had* to censor. O_o) Yuu exclaimed, blushing a bright red.
"I know, I nearly passed out. Luckily, I had been drinking heavily that night and didn't care as much. There was more to it, but-"
"DUO! DON'T GO THERE! Even *we* don't do that...and we've been married for two years now!"
"I know...scary huh? So yeah, I blackmail him." Duo mentally ticked off the little chibi Wufei in his mind with an indelible ink pen, and promptly deleted the corresponding thing on his Things-To-Do-List.
"I thought you were also blackmailing Trowa?" Yuu said, once again returning to her newspaper, permanently scarred with images of Wufei and ***** while they ******* in the **** in the **** with ******* *****, and a **************...oh, the horror! Yuu shuddered slightly from the mere memory of the memory.
"I am! And Quatre...hehehe, they were the easiest to snare. All I had to do was blackmail them with revealing two tapes to the other one."
"What?"
"Well, I snuck into Trowa's apartment and hacked his computer. Then, when he came home, I sent him lots of p*rno with the main star always a blond-haired-blue-eyed male who at least resembled Quatre in some way. Then I taped his reactions. Then, when he went to sleep that night, I slipped him some sleeping pills, and gave him a blow-up doll. Hehehehe...then I taped that. And I threatened to send it to Quatre if he didn't agree to my plan. I hadn't even finished my sentence before he said okay. I still have the tapes. Wanna watch?" Duo wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Yuu flushed and threw her newspaper at Duo.
"You are a sick, sick, sick young man." Yuu shook her head disapprovingly.
"HEY! Just because I'm bi!" Duo crossed his arms and held up his head high.
"I'm bi too you moron." Yuu said, throwing her sock at Duo, which flew in a straight (hahaha, STRAIGHT) line into his mouth (it was open for protest of being a moron).
"ARSHUAGOHSHS!!!" Duo exclaimed, and tried to claw the dirty sock out of his mouth quickly. (You know what I find amusing? The fact that spell-check doesn't find that that word wrong...it's actually a word of some sort...interesting...)
"Hehehe..." Yuu let out a small laugh as Duo gagged, and made some of the most ridiculous faces, much like Milly does.
"You...I'm going to get you back for that one..." Duo said, stuffing the sock into his voluminous pockets without Yuu noticing.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Yuu said, Duo grinned evilly.
***Flash back another day***
"Well, that settles Quatre." Duo put down the phone.
"What did you do to him?" Hiro asked Duo. Hiro was staying with Duo and Yuu until Duo finished with the other men. Hiro had been the first to buckle, on the simple grounds that he owed Duo a huge favor when Duo had saved his life from Relena when he and Duo pretended to be gay. Well, Hiro pretended, Duo just acted like Duo. Without Duo's help, he would have been snagged into marriage to a now more-than-slightly-crazy Relena. The horror of it was almost as bad as Wufei and ***** while they ******* in the **** in the **** with ******* *****, and a **************. Almost.
"Oh, just blackmailed him with the e-mails."
"You are a scheming, conniving, evil Duo."
"Hey. Only on Tuesdays." Hiro looked at his watch.
"It is Tuesday."
"Well then! I have an excuse." Duo stuck his tongue out at Hiro, who emotionlessly shrugged and left the room. Sometimes Duo gets to the point where he's had too much fun and needs to take it out on someone. Time to sic him on Yuu. No, you know what, Duo will probably seek out Yuu on his own today. 'One...two...and...three.' Hiro thought. On cue of three, Duo yelled out Yuu's name.
"YUU-UTSU! YUU! WHERE ARE YOU, YUU?" Duo yelled gleefully as he pranced into the next room. Hiro shook his head.
~~~~~In Hiro's Room~~~~~
'It is so dangerous here...my life is in constant peril...ah well. Don't care. If I'm lucky, maybe I'll self-destruct randomly and won't have to go through with this...I can't believe that I'm partner...er...with...ack...I need a way of saying this that doesn't imply that we're lovers.' Hiro thought, not showing any outward signs of his thoughts. Let's see, how about, you can't believe that Duo stuck you with Wufei? 'That'll work. I can't believe that Duo stuck me with Chang. I can't believe it. It's not even like we have any feelings for each other or anything. It's just going to be an awkward two weeks that will probably mentally scar us for the rest of our lives. Hmm...could be interesting.' Hiro smiled that smile that he gives people before he tries to kill them.
And so ends Hiro's monologue...speaking of Hiro and Wufei, let's move on back to our lovely Asian couple~~
***First Week-Third Day-5:11pm (17:11pm)***
"So...do you wish to eat out tonight, Yui?" Wufei asked, not looking up at Hiro.
"Sure." Hiro said absent-mindedly. Wufei frowned, he really had a thing with passive people; they reminded him of weak women.
"Where do you want to eat?" Wufei asked, his Chinese training allowing him to ask the question serenely and with patience.
"Anywhere's fine." Hiro shrugged. Wufei snapped, as he is prone to do when aggravated.
"YUI! What is with you, huh?! Can't you even assert yourself to this one problem?! You have a will, so use it! Don't just assume the role of a weak woman! Your attitude towards even this trivial situation is an injustice to your sex! Stand up for your opinions!" Wufei ranted, Hiro looked up. 'Wow...he looks like he's having fun. I wonder if that's really as fun as it looks...maybe I'll try it sometime. I'll probably freak people out though, I don't know if they could handle me showing that much emotion. I don't think *I* can handle showing that much emotion. Maybe I should just blow myself up? Hmm...that's always an option. Oh, woops. I missed most of Chang's rant. I hope I'm not just coming in at a weird place...my opinions? What? Oh, crap, he stopped...now I have to respond...wait! No I don't! I'm Yui Hiro! I can just blink and that's okay.' Hiro thought without emotion.
"..." Hiro blinked at Wufei. Wufei took a deep breath and kept repeating to himself a warning to *not* slap Hiro, because he didn't have a death wish.
"Yui, don't let me push you around. Look, don't go blabbing this to anyone..." Wufei cut himself short as Hiro lifted an eyebrow and looked at Wufei as if to say "And just *who* would I tell. Besides do I look like someone who tells *anyone* *anything*?"
"And just *who* would I tell? Besides, do I look like someone who tells *anyone* *anything*?" Hiro said out loud. Go figure.
"Well..." Wufei sat back down and stared at the table. "I know that I tend to be...bossy and...I've been called 'chauvinistic pig' enough times to understand that I have a problem with women and my past...and I also know that when I see anyone who's weak willed, I tend to snap. So, it just...well...it's hard to explain...I don't even know what I'm talking about." Wufei said angrily. "Just forget it!" Wufei stood up as if to leave, his face contorted in a snarl.
"Wait." Hiro said, without any inflection in his voice. "Chang, sit back down." Wufei looked over his shoulder at Hiro dangerously, but did as he was told.
"What do you think you're doing Yui, ordering me around, huh?" Wufei said angrily.
"Listen. We're stuck in this together, all right? So, if I annoy you *that* much, then just tell me and we'll work something out. I had a crappy enough life already, and I'd prefer not to make an enemy of one of the few friends that I have." Wufei's jaw dropped.
"Thit." Wufei exclaimed ('shit' for you simpler folk), and Hiro snorted.
"How do you continue to do that?" Hiro asked, as Wufei shoved his jaw back into place.
"I have no idea...more importantly, did you...er...call me a friend?"
"That's what we are, right?" Hiro glared at Wufei, Wufei recognized the glare to be Hiro's general expression glare, and therefore, Hiro was hiding whatever emotion was plaguing him on the inside.
"Well...sure."
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Sure. I'll end it there. Now, this chapter wasn't as amusing for good reasons. I wanted to re-cap and show what was happening before we started this story. The next chapter is going to get even weirder.
~*ATHENA*~