Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ "Because She Told Me To!" ❯ Erotic Dreams and Quidditch Commentary ( Chapter 6 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

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"BECAUSE SHE TOLD ME TO!"
Chapter Six:
Erotic Dreams and Quidditch Commentary

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The dreams about Claire continued.

Not every night, but almost every night, Luna would dream about Claire, erotic dreams that for each passing night grew more and more detailed and intense, and sometimes even so powerful that she felt more exhausted after an entire night's sleep than she did after the longest school days.

But it wasn't the cruel, manipulative Claire of real life; no, the Claire of Luna's dreams was sweet, soft and considerate -- and oh, so very, very sexy -- and Luna started to feel her resolve against ever doing anything sexual again weaken. It wasn't that her memories of the Sensualis spell grew any fonder over time (which she counted as a good thing, because she really didn't feel like having fond memories about an awful experience like that), but they somehow seemed to matter less and less, and the sexiness of Claire began mattering more and more.

More than once, even when she was awake, she caught herself staring at the older girl at inappropriate times, her mind filling up with extremely filthy thoughts all of its own. A couple of times, these thoughts overwhelmed her so much that she simply had to retreat to her dormitory and masturbate, bringing herself to several orgasms while thinking of Claire.

Was this normal, she wondered as she lay there afterwards, panting. When a girl used you and put you through sexual torture like Claire had done, was it common then to start fantasizing about sex with said girl again? To have your mind starting to obsess over it, even if you yourself really didn't want it to?

Somehow, she didn't think it was a good idea to ask anyone. They'd just take it the wrong way -- even Neville would probably just end up worrying more about her than before, and she didn't really want to worry him any more than necessary, in case her condition was completely normal.




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The weeks passed, and Neville hadn't had any confrontations with Claire Savelle -- or with Marietta Edgecombe, who now seemed like she was going out of her way to avoid absolutely everyone, including Claire.

Hopefully, he kept saying to himself, this was a good sign. Even though the rumors about Luna being Harry Potter's girlfriend had silenced somewhat since Harry was never seen spending any time with her in public, there were at least some students who were still wary about doing anything rash when Luna was involved, and Claire, despite her pre-Christmas speech to Neville, did seem like she was one of them. If she hadn't abandoned her idea of revenge, she was at least biding her time. With luck, Fred and George would have delivered before she decided to strike.

In the meantime, Neville continued his weekly meetings with Luna, practicing all the defensive spells they could think of just in case. During the last session, he had thought Luna did seem a bit more out of it that usual, but when asked she had assured him that everything was fine, and that it was just her OWL studies that were taking a toll on her. He could sympathize, given that his own schedule was getting more and more hectic as the year went on -- in addition to the ever-increasing amount of schoolwork, there were also the weekly Apparation lessons, which had started just after the holiday.

True, the Apparation lessons were strictly voluntary, and Neville had briefly considered not taking them at all, just to make it easier on himself. The thought of what Gran would say to that, however, had quickly caused him to change his mind and sign up for them anyway.

Not that Neville ever expected the lessons to be of any help to him. Outside his few strong points -- Charms, Herbology and Defence against the Dark Arts (the last one mainly being a strong point when it wasn't Snape who was the teacher) -- he was still one of the worst wizards of his year. There was no way he would be able to learn Apparation in any time span less than five years.

Most of the others seemed, after the first couple of lessons, to begin thinking the same about themselves... although there were some exceptions.

"It's gonna be so cool," said Seamus for what Neville thought must be the sixteenth time, as he, Dean and Neville walked back to Gryffindor Tower after their fourth Apparation lesson. "I've always dreamed of doing it, ya know! Appearing and reappearing, just like that!"

"We know, Seamus," said Dean, looking slightly exasperated. Seamus seemed to be the only one in the entire Apparation class who never got frustrated with the fiendishly difficult subject. "You keep telling us!"

"Yeah, but still," said Seamus, completely oblivious to Dean's frustration. "Just you wait until I pass me test, that's all I'm saying!"

"If he keeps going on about it like that, he won't live to pass his test," Dean muttered to Neville.

"What?" said Seamus, his grin a little less wide.

"Erm, so, did I ever tell you two how grateful I was that you agreed to help Luna with her, er, Ravenclaw problems?" said Neville hurriedly, not wanting another fight between Dean and Seamus. "Things've been much better for her lately!"

"Well, it's mostly been you and Ginny," said Dean, apparently just as eager for a different conversation topic. "You spend far more time with her. Seamus and I, we just sorta keep an eye out when we have time, and all that."

"But then," added Seamus, grinning again, "we don't have your motivation."

"Motivation?" said Neville.

Dean and Seamus exchanged looks. "You don't have to pretend," Dean eventually said. "We're not complete morons -- well, I'm not, at any rate, not sure about Seamus -- we know you fancy Luna."

"I don't fancy Luna!" Neville sighed. "Why does everybody keep saying that?"

"Oh, come off it, Neville! It's nothing to be ashamed about!" Seamus punched his shoulder jovially. "Luna's completely barmy, but she's not bad-looking. So you have odd tastes in women -- that's no big thing! Look at Ron, going with Lavender, of all people..."

"You're just jealous because 'Lav-Lav' didn't choose you," Dean grinned.

"Take a girl to the Yule Ball once because you don't want to face the humiliation of going alone, and your best friend keeps going on about it for years afterwards," said Seamus over-dramatically. "It's not like I ever snuck off for private time with Lavender in the Room of Requirement or --"

"I do not fancy Luna!" Neville repeated, fairly sure that the 'Room of Requirement' bit was directed to him. He knew it had been a mistake mentioning meeting Luna there to Seamus. "She's a friend, all right?"

"A girrrrrlfriend..." said Seamus in a sing-songy voice, as Dean snickered.

"For the very last time," said Neville, "I am not in love with Luna. I thought you two were smarter than this! You never accused Harry of getting it on with Hermione, even when that was in the Daily Prophet!"

"Well, Harry never started a 'let's-protect-Hermione' group," said Seamus. "And he never went out of his way to spend alone-time with Hermione either. You didn't think we'd noticed how you keep sneaking off to the Room of Requirement with Luna?"

"Yes, for training," said Neville. "Since there's no DA anymore, we --"

"Ooooh, training, is that what they call it nowadays?" Seamus laughed. "How romantic! 'Ooh, Neville, train me!'" he said in a high-pitched girly voice. "'Train my brains out! Make me a woman!' --"

Later on, Neville wouldn't even remember why these assumptions of him being in love with Luna had kept irking him so much -- the closest he ever got to an explanation was a vague feeling that it somehow cheapened the friendship he'd come to treasure, if people thought that he was only in it for a girrrrrlfriend -- but right now, he just knew that he had enough. "Look," he said hotly, "Even if I was in love with Luna, it wouldn't matter, because she's a les --" And then, almost too late, he realized what he was saying. He cut off his last word, biting his lip hard to hold back a gasp of surprise with himself.

Dean and Seamus stopped, staring at him. "Because she's a what?!" said Dean.

Neville gulped. I'm the world's biggest idiot, was all he could think.

"Luna Lovegood is a les?!" said Seamus, half-amused and half-shocked.

"No..." said Neville."I..."

"Neville, how exactly do you know that she is a les?" Seamus demanded. "I shouldn't think that's something she'd tell just anyone!"

"I --" Neville began, and then gave up. While neither Dean nor Seamus were the best students around, they weren't so stupid that they'd accept a lie or a cover-up attempt, not after this. "Fine," he sighed. "I'll tell you the truth. But not here. Come with me to the Room of Requirement, will you?"

It was to Seamus's credit that he (though it was possibly because he was still taking in the news of Luna) did not make a lewd joke about a gay threesome.




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T he dreams were growing more and more intense, night by night. Luna was starting to suspect that this wasn't normal at all, and that something was happening to her, something that might be a good idea to talk to Neville or, well, anyone about -- but somehow she couldn't quite bring herself to.

She had opened her mouth several times to speak the words to Professor Flitwick after Charms class, to Ginny during her shared classes with the Gryffindors, to Neville during "Room of Requirement time," but each and every time the words died on her lips.

Only Neville seemed to vaguely recognize that something was wrong; he kept asking her if she was feeling all right, but she kept lying and telling him she was fine, that she was just tired from all the schoolwork. Luna had never been a liar before, but now she couldn't seem to stop lying. It was most distressing, but it didn't seem like there was anything she could do about it -- her mouth just refused to speak about the dreams.

But they are just dreams, aren't they? she thought anxiously. They can't actually hurt me... and they feel nice... fucking nice...

And they did feel fucking nice. Gradually, almost without noticing it herself, she began to look forward to the dreams. She began going to bed earlier just so she'd have more time with Claire in her dreams. She began skipping lunch, a couple of times even dinner, just so she could go up to the common room for a quick nap and more dreams instead.

Over the days and weeks, she grew more and more certain that this wasn't normal, but by this time she had almost stopped caring.




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"Wow ," said Dean after Neville had finished telling a heavily-abridged version of the story. "I had no idea that things like this were going on at Hogwarts. So you're saying this Claire Savelle...?"

"Yes, but please don't tell anyone," said Neville. "It'll be... you just know that if this comes out, Luna will be getting the worst of it. The Ravenclaws already hate her, and they like Claire Savelle, so they'll make it all out to be Luna's fault --"

"So, when are you gonna hex the living daylights out of Savelle?" said Seamus. "I mean, I like a bit of girl-on-girl action as much as the next bloke, but this is just wrong. Besides, they'd never let me watch," he added in a joking tone, "so it's completely wasted anyway."

"I'm not going to hex her," said Neville. "She's left Luna alone ever since before Christmas. If we're lucky, she's given up..."

"You are just too soft," said Seamus. "Neville, mate, you can't just turn yourself into a doormat and hope that people are eventually gonna forget about treading on you if you lie flat enough! The world doesn't work like that!"

Neville stifled a sigh. Why did everyone who found out about this seem to think that slinging a few hexes at Claire Savelle would solve the problem? Was this unique to his case, he wondered, or had the world always been that obsessed with violent confrontations and he'd just been too wrapped up in himself to notice? "I didn't say I wouldn't do anything," he protested, "but hexing Savelle is just going to add to the problem! She'll get angry and out for revenge..."

"Sounds to me like she's already angry and out for revenge," said Seamus. "Just taking her time about it. Probably thinking up something especially nasty. Why not strike first?"

"Because that'll just add to the problem..." said Neville heavily. "If we strike first, she gets the upper hand. She can just tell the teachers and everyone else that we started it -- and then we get detention, and the Ravenclaws angry at us, and she comes out of it with everyone's sympathy because she's the 'victim' here. But if we just practice defense magic and wait for her to make the first move..."

"Well..." Seamus muttered. "When you put it like that... But you realize that she's probably going to be all devious and clever about it, right? You might not see it coming."

Dean nodded. "He's right. She'll probably get the drop on you and get you before you can as much as think about defending yourselves."

"Which is why I've got a plan for that eventuality," said Neville, swallowing. "I just hope that Fred and George deliver on time..."

A look of understanding passed over both Dean and Seamus's faces. "Oh, you've allied yourself with Fred and George?" said Dean. "Well, now I understand. Good show, Neville! Those two'll make short work out of anyone who tries anything! Sounds like you've been planning after all!"

"Oh yeah," Seamus smirked. "With the Weasley twins on the job, all you have to do is sit back and enjoy the show!"

"Er, yes," said Neville. "Er, I didn't tell them about the 'lesbian' part, though, just that, er, I wanted something against the Ravenclaws' harassment of Luna. Not that I think they're, er, homophobic or anything, but, you know, they'd start making jokes about it..."

"Point taken," said Dean, raising his eyebrows as a new thought struck him. "You think Ginny knows? She's been an awful lot around Luna lately... it would really be something if I lost my girlfriend to another girl, huh?" he added, in a rather failed attempt at a joke.

"You could always have a threesome," said Seamus.

"I'm more of a one-woman man, really..." Dean muttered.

"Then what about the time you said --"

"Luna says she hasn't told Ginny, so I don't think she knows," said Neville hurriedly. "Besides, I think it's pretty well established that Ginny likes boys, wouldn't you say? She fancied Harry for the longest of times, and then she went with that Michael Corner for a while, and now --"

"Did I ever tell you about my uncle, on my mother's side?" said Dean darkly. "Muggle. Got married and even had a daughter, and then decided he was gay and moved in with some other bloke. Caused a real stir in my family -- my aunt still won't talk to him. And Ginny and I have been fighting a lot lately..."

"Now you're just being paranoid," said Neville, who felt that the conversation was taking turns that they would all be a lot better off without touching upon. "I'm sure Ginny isn't going to end up dating Luna. It's not like every single girl in this school is secretly a lesbian."

"That would be something, wouldn't it?" said Seamus, obviously back to making lewd jokes. "Who really knows what goes on in their dormitories? You know, I'll just bet that's the real reason why we're kept out of the girls' dorms! They don't want us to know it, but they all have naked orgies at night, kissing and fondling each other's tits and spanking each other with --!"

"Will you stop that?!" Dean snapped.

"Don't pretend you weren't thinking it too!" Seamus nudged his friend with his elbow.

Neville decided not to stifle his next sigh. "Just don't tell anyone about it?" he pleaded. "If you want to continue keeping an eye on Luna, I'll be grateful, but... Don't tell anyone you know, all right?"

"All right, I won't tell," said Seamus, growing serious again after Dean had thumped him on the head a couple of times. "But I want all details of the Weasley revenge on Savelle afterwards!"

"I just hope you know what you're doing..." said Dean.

So do I, Neville thought.




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It was horrible. But it was horrible in a nice way. If Luna had been given the choice between horrible things to happen to her, this would definitely be on top of the list -- because if you're going to have horrible things happening to you anyway, you might as well pick a situation where you can enjoy yourself.

Granted, her schoolwork suffered. She seemed to see sex, lesbian sex, everywhere, even in the driest and dullest of Professor Binns' History of Magic classes. A few times, Luna could have sworn that the ghost was talking, in his normal flat tone, about the joys of having your pussy eaten out by Claire Savelle, and it was only through a tremendous effort of concentration that she realized that he was talking about the five hundredth goblin revolt -- but it was already too late, and she'd grown so horny that she simply had to run up to her dormitory after class and masturbate again.

It was probably the only time, ever that a Binns class got anyone horny, she thought afterwards, after a very small orgasm that had been quite disappointing. This wasn't normal at all.

It wasn't that she had never masturbated before. She'd discovered the pleasure of touching herself at a fairly young age, but it had always been a fairly rare indulgence, done with more or less the same casual attitude that she had to most things; if she happened to feel like touching herself while in the bathtub, or in bed, she would -- but she had never felt such urgent and frequent needs for it like she did now.

And it wasn't that she had never had erotic dreams before. It had happened, on occasion, that she dreamt about herself being fucked by someone -- one time, she had dreamt about having an orgy with Ron and Ginny Weasley, Draco Malfoy and Moaning Myrtle, and had spent a long time afterwards laughing at the sheer ludicrousness of the image -- but now, the dreams came every night, and were always about Claire.

It was amazing that she didn't seem to grow tired or bored with it, and even more amazing that she never felt sore at all. Her cunt should by all accounts feel terribly sore, for all the times her hands spent playing with it, but it never did. She knew that wasn't normal...

She might have spent some more time worrying about it, but when she had reached this far in her line of thoughts, she fell asleep, and slept through the entire afternoon, even missing dinner because she was busy dreaming about Claire Savelle kissing her and sucking her nipples and stroking her thighs and nibbling her neck and kneading her buttocks and licking her pussy and biting her clit...




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The next development in Neville's situation came on the Saturday following his talk with Dean and Seamus.

It was close to ten in the evening, and most of the Gryffindor students were in their common room, occupied with various activities: reading, playing games or chatting about the cancelled Hogsmeade trip and what they would have done if they had been allowed to go. Since tomorrow was Sunday and nobody needed to be up early, most were in no hurry to go to bed either.

Neville finished up his homework with a sigh of relief. It had taken him the better part of the day, but now he'd have Sunday completely free, and could spend more of it practicing together with Luna. Dean and Seamus were playing Exploding Snap with a few younger students, he noticed as he put away his books -- maybe he would ask if he could join them after he had seen to Trevor. It was too early to go to bed yet, although Harry and Hermione, he had noticed, had retired very early that night... and since he couldn't see Ron or Ginny anywhere either, it seemed like they, too, had gone to bed early.

Then again, he had noticed that seventh-year Cormac McLaggen had tried to corner Harry with what seemed to be Quidditch talk, so he couldn't blame either of them for calling it an early night. (Neville had been unfortunate enough to sit beside McLaggen at one point during a Quidditch match, and the boy's constant nagging about all the mistakes made by every single player had been extremely grating.)

Neville was just about to get out of his chair to go up to his dormitory and see if Trevor was still there, when he was unexpectedly interrupted by Fred Weasley, who came crawling in through the portrait hole, looking uncharacteristically serious.

"Hello, Neville," he said, waving off a number of other students who had raised themselves and were on their way over to him.

"Fred?" said Neville, accidentally knocking over the pile of books on the table. "What are you doing here?" he added, somewhat embarrassed, as he scrambled to pick them all up.

"George and me took the trip up here to visit Ron on his birthday," Fred explained, kneeling down to help him pick the books up. "Were originally going to meet him down at Hogsmeade, and were planning on hunting down you there as well... but then we found out your trip there was cancelled, of course, and then we found out that Ron had gone and poisoned himself."

"What?!" said Neville, dropping the books.

"You didn't know?" Fred looked genuinely surprised. "I'd have thought Harry or Hermione would've told you."

Neville shook his head. "I haven't talked to either of them all day! What happened?"

"Well, apparently Ron drank some mulled mead that turned out to be poisoned," said Fred in a low voice. "Harry probably saved his life -- shoved a bezoar down his throat before the poison took any big effect. He's gonna be fine, but he'll be confined to the hospital wing for some time. Mum, Dad, Ginny and George are up there with him now."

"Don't tell me you didn't know Weasley was at the hospital wing, Longbottom," scoffed McLaggen, who had apparently heard the conversation and was closing in on them. "I saw them take him up there this morning. What did you think I was talking to Potter about just before? Someone's gotta replace Weasley as Keeper, right?"

"McLaggen, do the words 'private conversation' mean anything to you?" Fred snapped.

Several of the other students who had drawn closer took a step back. Only Lavender Brown stood her ground, looking horrified. "Won-Won's at the hospital wing?" she shrieked. "Why didn't anyone tell me? I'm his girlfriend! I should be up there with him to comfort him!"

"He's going to be fine," Fred sighed. "Look, you lot, can you let me just talk to Neville here? I can't stay here forever, I have to get back to the hospital wing! You can ask Harry or Hermione all about it tomorrow!"

Lavender turned on her heels and raced up the stairs to the girls' dorms, no doubt to haul Hermione out of bed and pry for details, while the others slowly went back to their activities, talking amongst themselves in hushed voices. Even though Fred no longer attended Hogwarts, he and George still commanded a certain, well, respect among Gryffindors -- partly because they were the chief suppliers of joke items and prank materials for Hogwarts students, and partly because of their reputations for the spectacular escape they performed the previous year.

Fred turned back to Neville and fished two metal bracelets out of his robe pocket. "Here," he said. "Took a bit longer than we'd estimated, but we managed."

"Thanks," said Neville, taking the bracelets and looking them over. There was absolutely nothing special-looking about them -- you'd probably be hard-pressed to find any bracelet that looked less plain or inconspicuous. "They look brilliant," he said gratefully.

"Hope they'll prove helpful," said Fred. "Same deal as the Shield Cloaks or Hats, really -- Won't help against the biggest curses, but for minor to moderate hexes or jinxes..."

"And the... extra features?"

"Got 'em all. Everything's tried and tested -- it works flawlessly." Even in his weary voice, there was a touch of pride at the accomplishment.

Neville smiled briefly. "Thanks... I really appreciate this. How much do I owe --"

Fred waved his hand. "Don't think about paying. What with Ron's situation and all... well, we're understanding even better why you wanted this. It's a sad fact that Hogwarts isn't as safe as we've always been led to believe. Besides," he added, looking a little more cheerful, "unless I'm much mistaken, these things should prove to be big sellers, and we would never have even thought of making them if it wasn't for you." With that, he stood. "Better get back to the hospital wing, though. The others are probably starting to wonder where I got to."

"Tell Ron I wish him a speedy recovery then," said Neville. "And give my thanks to George as well."

"Right you are. 'Bye, people!" Fred waved to the room and made for the portrait hole, only to almost collide with Ginny, who was just entering.

The two siblings exchanged looks, but didn't say anything to each other. As Fred vanished out the portrait hole, Ginny came up to Neville and sat heavily down in the chair he had abandoned for his "book hunt."

"I... just heard about Ron," said Neville carefully.

Ginny nodded. "Always knew his tendency to eat everything he sees would get him into trouble one day," she said, her voice thick.

"But he'll be all right, won't he?" said Neville. "Fred told me --"

"Yeah, he'll be fine," said Ginny. "That's the only reason I let them chase me out of the hospital wing. If there had been any chance that he wouldn't make it..." she clenched her fists, before sighing and changing the subject. "What's with those bracelets, anyway? I saw Fred with them earlier..."

"Er, safety precautions," said Neville. "You didn't happen to see Luna today, by the way? I wanted --"

"No," Ginny snapped, suddenly furious. "We're not joined at the hip, you know! No matter what Dean's told you, I am not having a lesbian affair with Luna! Honestly, I can't say anything lately before he starts accusing me of going behind his back to snog her! I don't even know where he gets the idea that --"

"Never mind!" squeaked Neville, cursing himself for ever having talked about Luna's sexual preferences to Dean. "Maybe I'll just leave you alone for a little..."

"No -- no, I'm sorry, Neville," said Ginny hurriedly. "I didn't mean to yell! It's just... it's too much for me lately! Not only the situation with Ron, but Dean and I can't even talk without fighting anymore... But it's not your fault."

Care to take a wager on that? thought Neville gloomily, but he didn't say anything out loud.

It wasn't until he had gone up to the dormitory and made sure that Harry was asleep before he confronted Dean.

The normally cheerful boy had grown increasingly gloomy and snappish over the week, and didn't at all appreciate Neville asking him about his arguments with Ginny.

"I didn't tell her that Luna was a lesbian," he protested. "And I am not constantly accusing her of going with Luna either! I asked her, once, maybe twice, if she wouldn't have been better off with someone else, like possibly Luna, since nothing I ever do is good enough for her anymore. That's all!"

Neville just sighed, deciding not to get involved. He'd done enough to ruin their relationship, he thought -- even if it had only been by accident -- and didn't particularly feel like risking mucking things up even further for them.

He'd concentrate on his and Luna's situation instead. Slipping one of the two bracelets around his own wrist, he decided that first thing tomorrow morning, he'd find Luna and give her the other.

Then they'd hopefully be ready for whatever Claire had to throw at them, when and if she did choose to.



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"Nngh," said Luna and orgasmed.

Her mind was filled with pink sugar and fluffy dandelion seeds, giving her thoughts an interesting candyfloss-like feel -- light and fluffy and incredibly sweet, and melting into a sticky caramel-like substance if she held them too long. She wasn't even sure if this was a dream or reality anymore, and she really couldn't see any difference.

"...Claire?" she whispered. "Aah," she added as she orgasmed again.

"Be still." The voice came from everywhere and nowhere at the same time, and it was pink and fluffy and happy, and oh so incredibly erotic, and it was Claire and it was the whole world... "I'm just going to use a Shaving Charm to make you more presentable."

"Okay," said Luna, slightly out of breath. The candyfloss spun around inside her, making her feel pinker and pinker. She was almost certain that if she raised her hand to her mouth now and licked it, it would melt into caramel in her mouth, and so would any other part of her body that she might care to name.

As she lay there imagining what it might feel like to melt herself with her own tongue, she felt a tingling sensation over her crotch, and at first she thought that her cunt had started melting already -- but then the tingling sensation stopped, and she felt cool air against her. She wasn't entirely sure what the proper reaction to this would be, so she decided to say "aah-h-h-h-h-h" and orgasm a third time, just to be on the safe side.

The voice chuckled, sending ripples through the world and, why not, the entire universe. "Smooth as a baby, and you're still my naughty little slut, aren't you?"

"...Yes." It was the only answer that presented itself.

"Well, the charm should last a week. One week, and we'll be finished with all this."

"...one week?" murmured Luna, trying to dig out the memory of what a 'week' was from somewhere within the candyfloss.

"One week. And you're going to do exactly as I tell you to, aren't you?"

"...are you going to fuck me...?" Luna did remember what that meant.

More chuckling. "Oh yes, I'm going to fuck you. One week, and you'll be thoroughly fucked. But you need to do everything I tell you to... I'm going to tell you the plan, and then you'll forget that I told you, and just obey my instructions without thinking about them."

"Okay."

"Tell me what's going to happen, then."

"You're going to tell me your plan, but I won't remember that you've told me, I'll just obey your instructions without thinking about them..."

"Excellent, slut..."

When Luna took a shower the next morning, her mind considerably less pink but still somewhat out of key with its surroundings, she glanced down herself and noticed that the familiar tuft of hair she usually had down there was gone. She stared thoughtfully at her suddenly hairless cunt, running her finger over it to check if the hair was really gone or if it just looked that way. It felt smooth to touch, like the skin of a peach but with considerably less fuzz, so the hair was definitely gone.

All right, she decided as she thought back to that dream from last night, this could only mean one of three things.

Either the dream hadn't been a dream after all...

...or she had started sleepwalking again and for some unfathomable reason decided to shave her pussy before she woke up...

...or she had been visited by Hair-Stealing Varytains while she was asleep.

She wasn't completely sure which one she most hoped was the truth.




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The commotion about Ron's poisoning died down fairly quickly -- it seemed like most people assumed it was an accident rather than a direct murder attempt like the attack on Katie had been. Besides, Ron was going to be fine, so there was really no reason to worry, seemed to be the general attitude.

Neville wasn't really sure what to think. Harry, from the few conversations he'd had with him since the incident, seemed convinced that there was more to it than a simple accident, but couldn't, or wouldn't, say anything more. In the end, Neville decided that there wasn't much he could do by worrying about it (and Ron would be okay, after all), so he decided to concentrate more on his own situation.

He'd managed to deliver the bracelet to Luna the next day, although he hadn't really been able to explain much about it, given that the only opportunity that presented itself was at dinner in the Great Hall, with all the other students present -- and telling someone the function of your 'secret weapon' while everyone else is listening kind of defies the point of having a secret weapon in the first place.

"Here," he'd said, having walked up to the Ravenclaw table and, as discreetly as possible, handed her the bracelet while trying to make sure that not too many people were watching (and particularly not Claire Savelle, who thankfully seemed busy pretending that the world around her didn't exist as she ate in silence). "Put this on, and don't take it off under any circumstances, all right?"

Luna had looked at the bracelet with mild curiousity, although he'd noticed, somehow, that there was something just vaguely... off about her. As if she wasn't all there, and in a different way than her usual half-dreaminess. "Is it Christmas again already?" she asked distantly. "I didn't know they'd moved it up, or I would have got something for you as well..."

"It's not Christmas, it's... I'll explain later," Neville whispered.

"Oh," said Luna, still distant. "I've never heard of that holiday. Is it new?"

Neville paused, but only for a moment. He was getting used to Luna's level of nonsensical talk, but this was a bit too much, even for her. "Are you feeling all right?" he asked, feeling concerned.

She blinked a few times, as if trying to focus. "I'm sorry, I haven't slept well lately," she added with a faint murmur. "Dreams, you know."

"Oh." (Later on, Neville would mentally kick himself for not realizing what that implied, but at the moment, he more or less assumed that it was some sort of belated reaction to the ordeals Luna had had to go through with Claire. He felt certain that i it had been him who had been sexually abused in that way, he would probably have had bad dreams for a long time afterwards too.) "Maybe you should go see Madam Pomfrey and ask for some Dreamless Sleep potion?"

"I don't think she'd like that," said Luna.

"Not like it? Things like that, that's her job, that's why she's here!" said Neville. "Why wouldn't she--" he was suddenly cut off by the voice of Professor McGonagall, dangerously close to him, and just as strict and humourless as always:

"Mister Longbottom, would you kindly go and find your place at the Gryffindor table? You're the only one who hasn't sat down yet, and you're disturbing the Ravenclaws."

Neville gulped and smiled to McGonagall in what he hoped was a calm, reassuring way before whispering "I'll talk to you later" to Luna and hurrying over to his own House table, ignoring the look Seamus was giving him.

After that, he hadn't managed to find time to talk to Luna at all -- schoolwork and Apparation lessons were demanding more of his time than ever, and the few moments he managed to spare, she never seemed to be around for him to talk to. The glimpses he caught of her over the next few days, however, revealed that she had at least started to wear the bracelet... so he hoped she was okay.

The following Saturday, one full week after Ron's birthday poisoning and at the first Quidditch game with (sigh) McLaggen as Keeper for the Gryffindor team, Neville got a rather big shock.

Together with Seamus and Parvati Patil (who seemed to be spending more time alone lately since her best friend had hooked up with Ron Weasley), he'd managed to find a nice spot on the spectator's stands, and was about to set all troubles and thoughts of schoolwork aside for a while, and just enjoy a good Quidditch match... but then:

"And that's Smith of Hufflepuff with the Quaffle," said an all-too-familiar voice, echoing over the Quidditch pitch and the stands. "He did the commentary last time, of course, and Ginny Weasley flew into him, I think probably on purpose, it looked like it. Smith was being quite rude about Gryffindor, I expect he regrets that now he's playing them -- oh, look, he's lost the Quaffle, Ginny took it from him, I do like her, she's very nice..."

Neville and Seamus looked at each other.

"Isn't that Loony Lovegood doing the commentaries?!" said Parvati, raising an eyebrow.

"LUNA, not Loony!" Neville and Seamus both roared at her, almost as a reflex.

Looking startled, Parvati muttered an apology. "But you didn't have to yell," she added, slightly indignantly, when no further explosions happened.

Neville ignored that. He fished his Spynoculars out of his pocket and placed them to his eyes, maneuvering the view until the commentator's podium was clear in his view. And there was no doubt about it -- right there on the podium his friend stood, Butterbeer-cork necklace and all, looking more distant and dreamy than ever as she spoke into the voice-amplifying megaphone: "...But now that big Hufflepuff player's got the Quaffle from her, I can't remember his name, it's something like Bibble... no, Buggins..."

"It's Cadwallader!" Professor McGonagall shouted, obviously trying, and only partly succeeding, to keep calm next to the unusual commentator as the crowd roared with laughter.

Neville put the Spynoculars down, looking at Seamus and Parvati with what, judging by their reactions, was probably a somewhat weird-looking expression.

"She didn't tell you anything about this?" said Seamus.

"We haven't talked much this last week," Neville muttered. "Been busy and... but you'd think that she would have said something..."

"Why would anyone let her comment on the game?" said Parvati, looking puzzled. "For that matter, why would she want to do it? I don't really know her that well, but outside that lion hat she used to wear, I didn't think she was that crazy about Quidditch... oh, that Cadwallader bloke just scored!"

Neville didn't pay attention to the last part of her statement. He felt as if an icy hand had suddenly grabbed hold of his heart and was clutching it tightly. No... it couldn't be... Quickly, he placed the Spynoculars to his eyes again and let the view sweep all over the spectators' stands. He was vaguely aware, from the boos and cheers of the audience rather than Luna's commentary, that Gryffindor scored twice while he wasn't looking, but at the moment he couldn't care less. He just had to see if...!

And then, he found her. In the middle of a crowd of Ravenclaws, Claire Savelle sat with an unmistakable look of smugness on her face; that certain expression you only see on people when they're in the middle of getting what they perceive as righteous revenge.

Neville's mind raced. Claire had found a way to manipulate Luna again, he was certain of it. Why hadn't he seen the implications earlier, when Luna had retracted into herself again? It had been so obvious too, but he hadn't realized before it was too late. He had simply been too confident that the bracelets would protect her...

Just brilliant, Longbottom! he thought, furious at himself. You idiot! You go along with your carefully-constructed plan, and ignore things that are straight in front of your nose! If Claire Savelle has hurt Luna in any way, I'll never forgive you!

"And Zacharias Smith loses the Quaffle again," said Luna, oblivious to anything else. "You know, he's the only player today who hasn't been able to hold onto the Quaffle for even a minute, I think he must be suffering from Loser's Lurgy, that's a very rare disease that usually only attacks older wizards, but maybe he is older than he looks. And now the Quaffle goes to -- oh, look at that, that cloud up there looks almost like a map of Sweden! I went to Sweden this summer, you know, and it was very interesting even if we didn't find a single Crumple-Horned Snorkack. But I did learn some Swedish words. Did you know that the word 'häxa' is Swedish for 'witch'? And there was this boy I met who told me that 'How do you do' in Swedish is 'Jag vill knulla,' but I don't think he was telling the truth, because when I tried saying that, people got all flustered and --"

"Seventy-forty to Hufflepuff!" barked Professor McGonagall into Luna's megaphone, a slight edge of despair having edged into her voice.

"Is it, already?" said Luna vaguely. "Oh, look! The Gryffindor Keeper's got hold of one of the Beater's bat."

Half a minute later, said Gryffindor Keeper had accidentally hit the Gryffindor Seeker with said bat, and since not even the great Harry Potter was prepared for the hard hit, he was knocked off his broom and fell, only avoiding an extremely rough landing because the Gryffindor Beaters managed to catch him in mid-air and lowering his limp form gently to the ground -- where he lay sprawled and unconscious until Madam Hooch removed him from the pitch, after having reassured everybody that it was just a minor head damage and that a short stay in the hospital wing would see mister Potter all better again in no time.

"I think Harry still holds the record for most visits to the hospital wing," said Luna solemnly from the commentator's podium as the match started up again (reluctantly from Gryffindor's side, and with Ginny Weasley doubling as both Chaser and Seeker). "But he really shouldn't have to. I would have been happy to have broken his record if that meant he didn't get hurt so much. But maybe Ron Weasley will be glad for the company? I wonder if Smith should go to the hospital wing too though, because his Loser's Lurgy doesn't seem to have improved any, and..." her prattling continued.

Neville sat uneasily, thinking both about Harry and about Luna. What could he do? Well, he couldn't do anything with Harry, but with Luna... but he couldn't go up to her while she was commentating, could he? And Claire... well, Claire wouldn't try anything in front of all these witnesses, he'd have to admit, but he couldn't do much either... finally, he decided to at least move over to be close to the commentator's podium, so he could talk to Luna as soon as the match was over. He exchanged one last look with Seamus before standing.

"Where are you going, Neville?" said Parvati. "Harry'll be all right. He's gone through much worse than that before."

"He's not the one I'm worried about," Neville muttered, handing his Spynoculars over to Seamus. "Look, can you do me a favour? Keep an eye on Claire Savelle for me -- she's over there, at the Ravenclaw stands. You don't have to do anything, just... keep an eye on her."

Seamus's eyes widened. "You think --?"

"I think," said Neville heavily. "But I don't know, not yet. I'm going to try finding out, though."

As he moved carefully away from his friends, he heard Parvati ask Seamus what that was all about, but he didn't wait to find out what Seamus replied. Maneuvering himself through the various Gryffindors on the stands, he set down for the commentator's podium.

Unfortunately, it took longer than he had expected, all thanks to his damnable clumsiness. Neville had always hoped that, when it really counted, he could be like the people in all those stories and overcome his weakness in the time of need and becoming... well, if not graceful, then at least not as clumsy and accident-prone as usual. But it was difficult moving between all the students, especially when he was supposed to move as quickly as possible, and before he knew it, he lost his footing and fell.

For a moment, the world became a whirl of cloud-filled sky, student's faces and the brown wooden colour of the stand seats, and then all of a sudden everything was black and sort of... fabric-like.

Neville blinked and suddenly realized that he must have fallen onto the two seventh-year Gryffindor girl he was currently on top of, and as he lifted his face he realized to his great embarrassment that he'd landed with his face against the crotch of one of the girls.

"Will you watch where you're going, you clumsy prick?!" the girl shouted, her face pink. "Get off us!"

"OWW! You're as heavy as an overweight elephant!" complained the other girl, whose, er, girly bits he had at least managed to avoid touching directly. "I'm being squashed flat here!"

"S-sorry," Neville stammered, trying feverishly to get up without making the world spin again. A few other students edged closer, a few of which (mostly boys) were applauding and calling "Good show!", and a few of which were asking if he and the girls were okay, but before either could answer, the voice of Professor McGonagall echoed over them:

"Summerby has the Snitch! Hufflepuff wins, three hundred and twenty to sixty!"

The crowd went wild. Cheers from the Hufflepuff side of the stands, boos and jeers (and more than a few yelled threats at McLaggen) from the Gryffindors. Even the two girls Neville had landed on seemed to forget their situation and joined in with the others' yelling, while Neville himself finally managed to get tho his feet and tried making his way down to the commentator's podium without falling again.

Eventually, and after several close cuts with students rushing down to the field (he noticed that quite a few students had gathered around the now-landed team, looking angry), he managed to get to the podium, but it was too late; Luna was no longer there. Instead, an annoyed-looking Professor McGonagall was looking over the Quidditch pitch, obviously debating with herself whether she should go down and stop the Gryffindors from killing McLaggen or not.

"Professor," said Neville, out of breath. "Did you see where Luna went?"

She turned to look at him. "I'm afraid not, mister Longbottom," she said. "She did, however, ask me to tell you that she would be found at the 'regular place' if I saw you." Her mouth tightened even further as she said this; Luna was apparently not her favourite person right now -- although she was probably higher-ranked than McLaggen. "Hopefully, you know what she meant by that. I swear that sometimes, that girl... well, that's not important," she interrupted herself. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go down to the field and make sure that Mister McLaggen lives to see his final exams."

"Did she say anything about why she wanted to do the commentary?" Neville asked hurriedly.

"I suggest you ask her about that, mister Longbottom," said McGonagall impatiently, beginning to move down the steps.

"She -- er -- didn't, by any chance say 'Because she told me to'?" Neville called after her.

She turned to look at him. The look of surprise in her eyes told him, to his despair, that those were probably the exact words Luna had used.




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'Th e regular place' -- that couldn't be anywhere but the Room of Requirement. After Neville had had a quick look-around on the field to see if Luna might still be there, which she wasn't (and neither, he noted, was Claire -- or Seamus), he hurried back to the castle.

It took longer than usual to get the Room of Requirement to appear for him; even with how out-of-breath he was when reaching the familiar corridor, the Room took long enough to show itself that he had completely caught his breath again by the time the door appeared.

Please be the room Luna is in... I need you to be the room Luna is in... he repeated mentally, for what was probably the fiftieth time, as he grabbed the doorhandle and opened the door.

And stepped into a world of darkness.

The Room of Requirement had appeared as a darkened room, only lit by a few candles hanging on each of the four walls, and as Neville cautiously stepped further in, closing the door behind him, he saw nothing beyond the glowing lights of the candles. But his eyes were quickly getting used to the darkness, and after only a few seconds he began making out shapes and shadows in front of him...

"Luna?" he asked, hearing, with some disdain, how small and pitiful his voice sounded in the dark.

There was no answer apart from a very, very soft sound -- a girl moaning.

"Luna?!" he asked again, swallowing as he started to make out more shapes and shadows, seeing something big and block-like in front of him, on top of which something was moving...

"Colloportus!" came a voice from the darkness, and Neville heard the door behind him seal itself with an odd squelching sound.

Neville stiffened. He knew that voice. "Claire Savelle?!"

"Lumos." A beam of light shot upward, illuminating the features of Claire. Sharp shadows played across the girl's face giving her normally pretty face a vaguely grotesque, frightening look as she grinned towards him.

"There's a Muggle saying," she purred, her voice low, sensual and with more than a hint of danger in it. "It goes: 'Welcome to my parlour, said the spider to the fly.' Somehow, I find it... appropriate for this situation. Wouldn't you agree?"

"I... I..." Neville backed up, colliding with the sealed door behind him. "What do you want, Savelle?!"

She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. "Come on, Longbottom, not even you could be this stupid. We talked about this before Christmas, didn't we? Nox!"

The beam of light vanished, and not five seconds later, the candles on the walls seemed to glow brighter (but whether this was magic or just Neville's eyes getting more used to the dark was difficult to say). Now, Neville could see exactly what was in front of him: A large bed, on which was perched a content-looking Claire Savelle... and right beside her was Luna Lovegood.

A naked Luna Lovegood, wearing only her normal Butterbeer cork necklace and her bracelet, lying on her back and looking for all the world as if she was half asleep... except her hand, the one with the bracelet no less, was working on her crotch, and her hips moved in time with the hand and her heavy breathing...

"Luna?!" Neville yelped.

"F-f-ffuck..." answered Luna in a voice that was clearly not all there. She lifted her head slightly and seemed to try focusing on him before lying back again and unashamedly continued masturbating right in front of him.

"I don't think she's interested in talking right now," said Claire sweetly. "It's amazing how effective a few Compulsive Charms and Erotic Dream potions can do to an otherwise intelligent, if barking mad, young girl, isn't it?" She smiled dangerously and pointed her wand straight at Neville. "You asked what I wanted? Well, the answer should be obvious, even to you. I want some nice blackmail material so that you and the horny little slut here won't ever get it into your heads to get in the way of me or my girlfriends again."

"Fuck..." Luna murmured distantly.

Claire's face lit up in an evil smile. "Precisely."




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Author's Notes: Y'know, there are many protagonists in stories (particularly fanfics) who would have loved to be in Neville's place right now. Of course, there are many protagonists in stories (particularly fanfics) who have no moral scruples... or any capability of thinking more than a few minutes ahead... plus they don't know what's going to happen in the next chapter. *evil grin*

The next chapter is also the last chapter, by the way... Funny, Because She Told Me To! was originally intended as a two-parter, but it ended up as a seven-parter; the longest fanfic I had written to date. To give you a general idea of how much this has grown from its original draft, I'll tell you that only one of the scenes in this chapter was fully intended to be in the story from the very beginning, namely Luna's Quidditch commentary (most of which is directly taken from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, by the way), and how she'd been manipulated by Claire into taking the job. Since no reason for Luna's sudden decision to play commentator was ever given in canon, I thought I could allow myself this.

Needless to say, "Jag vill knulla" does not in any way mean "How do you do" in Swedish. Luna was offer for a childish prank here, and it's not at all surprising that the Swedes got flustered when she told them that she wanted to fuck. (The word "häxa" does, however, mean "witch," so that part was correct.) Good thing McGonagall doesn't speak Swedish, or she would probably have reacted even worse than she did.

Final thoughts on the chapter: Yes, the line about naked orgies and spankings in the girls' dorms is a not-so-subtle kick at stories which shall remain nameless here...

...and I have no idea why Ron Weasley managed to keep getting mentioned so much in this chapter without ever making an actual appearance.