Hellsing Fan Fiction ❯ Contesting Results ❯ Dirty Laundry ( Chapter 3 )

Author: Bishounen no Hime

Pairing/Interaction: Integral Hellsing and Pip Bernadette.

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Integra set a full kettle on the stove in the manor kitchen and turned the burner on high. Walter was out for the day on errands so she was on her own for tea. She had just set a cup and saucer on the small kitchen table, having decided to take her break there, when a riotous laughter echoed from down the hall. The laundry and utility rooms were the only things connected to that back hall. Arching an eyebrow, Integra went to investigate. She pushed through the double doors into the hall and walked it at a quick pace. Her hand stopped abruptly as it touched the door handle into the laundry room when uncontained laughter erupted from the other side. Her eyes narrowed as she leaned forward and pressed her ear against door to listen.

"Hot damn!! I knew she had a rack but an E ?!?! It's a shame she ain't exactly living." 'He's talking about Seras.' Integra thought to herself.

"When has something that trivial ever stopped you Captain?" More laughter.

"Look at this!! Apparently the Boss Lady likes silk." She could here the newly hired Captain Bernadette's voice echo in the room. Several more whistles and some howls erupted as laughter returned to the men. As Integra seethed behind the door, apparently Pip had looked at the tag because next he said,

"She ain't got a bad rack either. I may just have to see what I can do with the little dark-skinned vixen."

Integra briskly pushed open the door and entered the room with her usual expression in place.

"What are you men doing in here?" There was an explosion of movement when they realized it was her. She noted with interest that several of the men quickly closed a box that was on the floor in the middle of them and Pip quickly hid his hands behind his back.

"We, uh, we were just looking for our, uh, washed clothes. Do you know where'd they be in here Sir?" She studying him discreetly, he wasn't a terrible liar, but she'd seen better.

"There is a separate laundry room in the soldier barracks, don't you remember Captain?" She came forward and stood directly in front of him, purposefully giving her back to his men. He laughed a little too loudly and set one of his hands, which she noted was empty, on his hip.

"I completely forgot!! HAHAHA!!" He stopped laughing and looked at her again, "By the way Sir Integra, where's Walter, I haven't seen him all day."

"He's out on errands for the better part of today." She didn't let him know that she could see the hand motions he was making out of the bottom of her eye.

"Well then, I just wanted to see what all the noise back here was about." She turned and started to walk to the door. 'Hmmm, the box the men had is gone…'

Pip started to sigh in relief at escaping being caught when his boss stopped in her tracks as she stood near the door; she was looking behind the dryer.

"Ah, here's that trash Walter couldn't find." She said smoothly as she bent to pick whatever it was up. He really didn't care as long as it got her to leave; he smiled at her, his good eye closed as he waited for the door to close. When it did he heaved a sigh and fell back against the wall behind him.

"That was so close it ain't funny."

"Captain…" One of the guys called to him. He opened his eye and was shocked by the dejected looks on all their faces.

"What is it?" They should be rejoicing damnit!!

"She just took the goods." A deadpan voice answered.

"WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT??????? ?????????????"

-------The yell echoed all the way up to the kitchen, the utter dismay clearly evident in the new Captain's voice would have made Alucard chuckle.

Seras, who had just come in the kitchen, gave Integra an odd look as the other woman threw the box in her arms on the floor in the kitchen just when the kettle started to whistle.

"Porn that I just commandeered from Captain Bernadette and his men." Integra said as she kicked the box and went to take the now screaming kettle off the stove. After filling the plain teapot with the steaming water she sat it on a tray and brought it over to the small dining table.

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

Seras jerked as the horrified scream echoed from the back utility rooms; shakily, she looked at the other woman and saw just the barest corner of Integra's lips twitch upwards as the knight poured some of the hot water in a teacup.

"He has found out that the keg of beer behind the water heater has vanished as well. Would you like some tea Seras?"