InuYasha Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction / Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Anime goes to Therpy ❯ Poker Face ( Chapter 9 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: Adnilem

Chapter Nine - Poker Face

Once again in the waiting room, there was pandemonium. The patients were sitting around in a circle, playing what appeared to be a large-scale game of poker. Chrissy and Mitzy stared in shock at the patients all in various states of undress. Strip poker!

“Hah!” a voice called. “Two pair!” It was Trowa, currently wearing only his pants.

“I've got a straight!” Quatre called. Quatre has obviously been doing better than Trowa. He was only missing his coat.

“Oh, dear,” said Yujinn matter-of-factly. Chrissy glanced over to see him shuck off his robe.

“EEEK!” The two shrinks yelped, expecting the worst. Thankfully, he had on, of all things, a dress slip. “Well, what did you expect? If you wear a white robe, it'll be see-through with nothing under it!” Yujinn said.

“Deal me in,” said Nuriko making he…himself comfortable on floor next to Duzell, who promptly got up and left deciding 1) not being able to play in cat-form wasn't such a bad thing after all and 2) he really didn't want to watch either.

Chrissy and Mitzy took a moment to look around the room. Darres was doing relatively well, though most of his armor was on the floor. Ishtar was down to her slip, like Yujinn. Chi had lost, well, most everything. Apparently, card-playing wasn't in her programming. Hideki, down to his boxers, was trying not to have a major nosebleed at the sight of his near-nude computer. The gundam pilots weren't doing great either since they didn't have much clothing to spare. Heero down to his shorts and ankle socks. Duo was doing exceptionally badly, only wearing a “censored” sign. Miroku was in a similar state, wearing only a handprint on his face, presumably from Sango, who was only in her skirt and bra (a/n: Which technically she shouldn't have, considering she's from Fuedal Japan…)

Nuriko was down to a very shiny pair of undies and an obviously stuffed brassiere. Flueky and Britty still had most of their clothing, though they were both barefoot and without any jewelry. Matt, however, sported only a pair of frilly kitty-print panties, much like Nuriko's. Ed was busy trying to alchemy up some more clothing, and probably a few aces as well, by sacrificing the remains of Flueky's computer.

“What exactly is going on here?!” Mitzy yelled. “Who started this?!”

An unfamiliar man stood up. An unfamiliar drunk man, amended the shrinks as they watched him stumble over.

“You shee, ociffer, I wash drunk in a bar, and they threw me into pub-lick! Sho now, I'm jusht trying to have shome fun wish theshe people,” he said.

“I'm shorry, but shtrip poker ish not allowed here,” said Chrissy, imitating his slurred speech. “You'll have to go shomewhere else.”

“My name'sh Vord. Have you ever played shtrip poker? It'sh really fun,” he said, winking.

Chrissy looked at Mizty. “Go call the cops, then call an ambulance, because I'm about to hurt him.”

Mitzy nodded. Chrissy stood on a chair and yelled to get everyone's attention.

“HEY! We would greatly appreciate it if you guys would put some clothes back on, like right now!” Chrissy wound up with a sock in her face in answer.

“CLOTHES ON NOW!” she yelled, grabbing a lamp and waving it menacingly. The patients looked up at her, grumbled and put their clothes back on. Duo yelled.

“HEY, gimme back my pants!” he directed at Ed.

Ed grinned. “But they fit me just fine.”

Duo glared. “They fit me better. Besides, they make you look even shorter!”

Ed attacked him, and the two went around the waiting room, switching from Ed chasing Duo for calling him short, to Duo chasing Ed to get back his pants. The police arrived just in time to see Duo depantsing Ed.

“I don't know what kind of therapy this is, but it doesn't look any kind of legal to me…” the officer said. Ed jumped up.

“This isn't therapy, that man just stole my pants!” he yelled pointing at Duo.

“They're my pants and he stole them from me first!”

The officer sighed. “Do either of you have any proof that these are your pants?” he asked, snatching them from Duo.

Both boys shook their heads.

“Then I'll just have to confiscate them,” the officer said simply.

“You can't confiscate my pants!!!” Duo yelled angrily. “They were a Christmas present from Hilde!”

“Until you can prove they are your pants, they will remain in my custody. Don't worry, I'll take good care of them. I needed something to wear on my date Friday anyway…”

Mitzy piped in. “Um, sir, I'm pretty sure that the pants are Duo's, and that's not really why we called you. See, there's this drunk guy, who…is currently hitting on that girls' cat…”

Sure enough, Vord was sitting on the floor, whispering sweet nothings to a very embarrassed Duzell-kitty. Chrissy and Mitzy sweatdropped.

“Sir, I think you'd better come with me,” the policeman told the drunk.

“But I'm not doing anyshing wrong…”

“I'm charging you with being drunk in public.”

“But I'm not drunk in public. I'm drunk in a shrink'sh offish! I dint wanna be drunk in publick! I wanted to be drunk in the shrink'sh offish! The people, who went that way, threw me into publick!”

The officer rolled his eyes and Maced the drunk, then started to haul him forcibly out of the office.

“Wait!” Darres yelled, coming to the rescue. “He's, um,.. He's here for an AA meeting!”

The policeman looked surprised. “Really, now? You know him, then?”

“Yes, kinda…” Darres said. Ishtar jumped in.

“He's my cousin! He drinks a lot and they made him come here for therapy!”

The officer thought for a moment. “Alright, he can stay, but let's not have any more of the pants removing therapy, ok?”

“Er, right…” said Mitzy. The officer left.

“Well, then. That was interesting…” said Chrissy.

“Maybe we should take the next patient now?” asked Britty

“Yeah, I think so. Who's left?” asked Mitzy.

“Um, that boy there. Daisuke,” Flueky piped in, from her seat on the floor.

“Flueky! What would your boyfriend say if he knew you were playing strip poker with Darke without him?” yelled Chrissy.

The aforementioned chibi angel-of-death person had apparently popped into existence and was currently holding (with some difficulty) a royal flush in his chibi hands. Each of the cards was bigger than he was.

“Don't you have some people to shrink?” Flueky asked rhetorically, shucking off her socks.

Chrissy rolled her eyes at Flueky. Britty, being the nice person that she was, kindly caught them and handed them back. (a/n: ^_^ Heehee)

“Fine then,” muttered Chrissy. “Let's get the patient so we can finish this fic already.”

“Daaaaiiiii-suuukee ee!” Mitzy called. The red headed teen looked up. “Wha?”

Satoshi grabbed his sleeve. “Our turn,” he stated, dragging Daisuke behind him.

Bonus Chapter - Boxers or Briefs?

Chrissy: Mitzy, boxers or briefs?

Mitzy: o.O Panties…

(Chi jumps in with a pair of very frilly ones on her head)

Chi: PANTIES! ^_^

(Hideki in the background: Chi! What are you doing?! I thought we covered this already!)

Chrissy: Wait a sec…You like panties on guys, Mitzy???

Mitzy: NO! I thought you meant on me!

(Britty and Trowa giggle in the background)

Chrissy: Well, we know what Chi prefers. Now, Britty, Trowa, how about you?

Britty: o.O

Trowa: Depends on who it is. Mitzy would be nice in briefs. Quatre's better in boxers.

Mitzy: O.O (Mitzy smacks Chrissy) YOU TAKE THAT OUT OF THIS OMAKE RIGHT NOW!

Chrissy: ^_^' Eheheh. Um, Duo? Heero?

Heero: (gives the Infamous Yuy Death Glare) …Boxers.

Duo: Neither. (big grin)

Chrissy and Mitzy: >.> <.< …Eeeeep.

Britty: Duzell?

Duzell: Vampires wear robes. We have no need of undergarments. Besides, they get in the way.

Chrissy: Of what???

Duzell: Seducing people's uncles.

Britty: ^^' Eheheheh. Um, Daisuke? Satoshi?

Satoshi: I'm boxers. Daisuke wears briefs.

Daisuke: ^_^;;;

Chrissy: (whisper) I always thought he was a little odd..

Duo: (whispers) So now we have three pansies?

Britty: Ishtar?

Ishtar: I like briefs…but boxers are more comfortable.

Miroku: I like thongs.

Sango: (cracks Miroku over the head)

Britty: How about you, Ed.

Ed: I wear my special “Dog of the Army” undies. Wanna see?

All: NO!

Chrissy: Kaworu, Shinji?

Shinji: I don't like boxers…unless they're Kaworu's

Chrissy: Um, what do Tasuki and Nuriko like?

Nuriko: What kind of woman would wear briefs or boxers? I wear my imperial lingerie, thank you very much.

Tasuki: Scary thing is, it looks good on him.

Britty: Flueky, Matt?

Flueky: TONY'S BOXERS! (drools)

Matt: Dorothy Zbornak's boxers.

Britty: o.O Okies… Um, Yujinn? Darres?

Yujinn: Magic teachers don't wear undergarments, either, as Darres well knows.

All: o.o

Flueky: I wanna know what Gojyo wears!

Gojyo: Whatever the ladies like.

Hakkai: My boxers have sentimental value. My sister used to love them…

(Chrissy, Mitzy, and Britty turn green)

Daisuke's Mom: It doesn't matter to me so long as the guy wearing them will father my son ^_^

Daisuke: >_< MOOOOOOOM!

(Vord comes in, smelling of beer.)

Vord: I'm a boxersh guy. Laphiji and Seileiz wear briefsh, unless they're croshdreshing, in which caesh they wear theesh really pretty pantiesh.

Chrissy: What about you, Eclipse?

Eclipse: Demon lords must always be terrifying, and briefs are certainly very terrifying.

Mitzy: Amen to that.

Raenef: (looks down his robes) Nope, neither.

Britty, Chrissy, Mitzy: (sweatdrop)

(Kyo enters)

Kyo: WHERE'S THAT D@MN RAT? HE STOLE MY UNDERSHORTS!

Yuki: What would I want with a stupid cat's panties?

Kyo: I do NOT wear PANTIES!

Ayaame: But you really should try this pair! Mine made them just for you…

(Kyo runs screaming from the room)

Chrissy: This is getting kinda weird…

Mitzy: Um, yeah.

Britty: Let's stop now.

Chrissy: Right.

((Chrissy finishes typing and takes the paper to Mitzy, who promptly beats the sh!t out of her for being such a hentai.))

Mitzy: We apologize for the severe perviness of this Omake. Isn't that right, Chrissy

Chrissy: (conitinues bleeding)

Mitzy: (nudges Chrissy with her foot) That's what I thought.

((Curtain falls))

Authors' Note: A special thanks to the boy in lunch who wore holey pants with Santa print boxers underneath. You gave us the wonderful inspiration for this Omake. ^__^