InuYasha Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction / Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Anime goes to Therpy ❯ Psychos and Kleptos ( Chapter 10 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: Adnilem

Chapter Ten - Psychos and Kleptos

Once again in the shrinking room (a/n: Boy, are we tired of typing that) the shrinks and patients sat down to talk and analyze their big fat issues. Currently, the question was less what the issues were and more who had worse ones, the patients or the shrinks. The shrinks seemed to be winning.

“You guys seem fairly normal to me,” said Britty. “What's the problem?”

“I…um…& #8221; started Daisuke. He was interrupted by a loud snore.

“Zzzzzzz…R 21; said Satoshi. The shrinks glanced over.

“Please continue,” said Mitzy, jotting down notes. “Possible narcoleptic…” she muttered under her breath.

“I have this alter ego…who's a thief and a womanizer…but he's my friend and I don't want him to disappear! And he,” here he gestured to Satoshi, “has a psycho alter ego that seems to want me dead. Or just plain wants me…I think.” Daisuke said.

“ Right…Can you give us a minute?” asked Britty. The shrinks crowded into one of the corners to hold a conference.

“This isn't a job for therapists, it's a job for an exorcist!” Mitzy hissed.

“No, I don't think they're possessed. Just schizophrenic,” said Britty.

“Just?! Schizos are very often psychos! And by what the one guy said, their other selves are a pervy kleptomaniac and a homicidal homo!” yelled Chrissy.

“Wow, Chrissy's a poet,” said Britty.

“Who's a pervy kleptomaniac?” asked a deep male voice. The shrinks meeped and looked back at Daisuke, who had changed into a much older (much hotter) dark haired version of himself.

“Now do you believe me?! He's possessed!” screamed Mitzy, hiding behind Chrissy. Which wasn't working very well, considering she was rapidly melting from sheer hotness (a/n: ^_~).

Britty tried to mop the quickly liquefying shrink up before she stained the carpet. It didn't work. Sighing, she gave up for the time being and returned to trying to help her patients.

“Alright, then…so, Mister…?” Britty asked.

“Dark.”

“Right then. I think we should take a break and analyze your problems, all right? You and your friend go back to the waiting room.”

Dark shook his head. “I'm not waking him up, he'll try to arrest me.”

There was the soft sound of a lock clicking into place.

“Too late,” said Satoshi, smiling and holding the other end of the pair of handcuffs.

“Can't you two behave?” asked Chrissy tiredly. “Go to the waiting room now.”

Dark stood…or tried to. Apparently Satoshi had cuffed their ankles together as well. Both boys went down hard.

“Umph!” grunted Dark. “Get off me! Idiot! How are we supposed to walk?!”

Satoshi glared as he tried to stand up, which wasn't easy, having a wrist and ankle cuffed to someone who wasn't exactly cooperating. “I'm not taking any chances of you getting away from me this time,” came the level reply.

Finally, the two managed to stand. Britty and the others tried not to giggle as the two stumbled into the doorway, killed a potted plant, and made it to the waiting room three-legged race style.

Bonus Chapter - Britty Takes Over

“Alright then…So, Mister…?” Britty asked.

“Dark. But you can call me whatever you want, sweetheart.” He winked

Britty blushed as he stooped to one knee and held out a ring.

“Will you marry me, my love?” he asked, looking sappily into her eyes (a/n: dying laughing here…)

“Oh, yes, my darling! I love you!” cried Britty, tears of happiness streaming down her face.

“Then come away with me! We will leave this squalid office forever!” Dark said, taking her hand.

Chrissy and Mitzy dabbed their eyes with tissues. “Goodbye Britty! We'll miss you! Take care!”

(Chrissy and Mitzy grab the keyboard away from the rampaging Britty)

Chrissy: Told you we couldn't trust her with the computer…

Mitzy: As if I'd ever cry like that.

Britty: Oh, yeah you will. When I make off/out with your guy Duo!

Mitzy: >_< (runs away)

Britty: Heehee…

Mitzy: (returns with sharp objects)

Britty and Chrissy: O.O Eeek.

(THIS SCENE CENSORED, PLEASE STAND BY…)

(STILL STANDING BY…)

Mitzy: Oh come, happy dagger! (laughs satanically)

Britty (from offstage): Someone call 911…

Chrissy (also from offstage): how many times do I have to tell you, we can't. We don't have an 11 on our phone. Furthermore, we have no fingers to dial with anymore!