InuYasha Fan Fiction / Excel Saga Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ If Anime Characters Invaded Your TV ❯ Family Feud...Naraku's Incarnations vs. ACROSS ( Chapter 3 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Episode 4 ~ Family Feud
Sesshoumaru: (in a monotone) This is family feud. A show where two opposing `families' try to answer questions with the most `popular' answer.
Offstage: Dude, can you, like, put some emotion into your words or something?
Sesshoumaru: …Do you wish to die?
Manager: Okay, you have to stop threatening the stage crew, or you're not announcer anymore!
((Technical Difficulties Music))
Sesshoumaru: (still in monotone) Let's welcome this week's families… the Naraku family and the ACROSS organization
Excel: Wow, it is so great to be here. Did I really win a car?
Il Palazzo: Your incompetence is a disgrace to this foundation. *pulls rope*
Sesshoumaru: *thinks* Now where did that pit come from?
Naraku: I must make a note to get one of those…
Sesshoumaru: Very well…today's category…Something that everyone is afraid of
Naraku: Everyone fears me…I am the most despicable demon in the feudal era
Sesshoumaru: That is incorrect
Rabid fan girls: (all wearing chibi Naraku shirts) OH MY GOD! LOOK! It's NARA-CHAN!!! QUICK!!!! HUG HIM BEFORE HE CAN GET AWAY!
Naraku: O.O Get away from me wenches! I will kill you all!
Rabid fan girl #1: He's so cute when he talks tough
Rabid fan girl #2: Let's braid his hair!
Rabid fan girl #1: Aw, how cute! Nara-chan, you simply have to tell me who does your makeup.
((Technical Difficulties Music))
Naraku now has masses of ribbons and butterfly clips in his black hair
Sesshoumaru: We're back. Team Naraku guessed incorrectly, so now we go with team ACROSS
Excel: Oh, well, I'd have to say spiders. Oh wow, man, those things are SCARE-REE! *stares at Naraku* is that guy wearing eyelinger?
Il Palazzo: *pulls rope*
Excel: OH NOOOOOOOO! SPIDERS! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SPIDERS? *screams*
Sesshoumaru: Spiders is one of the answers. 29 members of our audience have arachnophobia. ACROSS guessed correctly so they can go again
Naraku: So they do fear me. Kukuku
Kagura: *mutters* kumo
Sesshoumaru: Well, ACROSS
Il Palazzo: The inability to complete the necessary day-to-day tasks
Excel: *climbing out of hole* that means…f-failure
Sesshoumaru: 4 people wrote fear of failure. Continue, ACROSS
Hyatt: *cough cough* D-d-d-d *dies*
Sesshoumaru: That is incorrect ((buzzer sounds)) We turn the next round over to team Naraku
Offstage: You aren't even trying any more, are you? This is a TV show! We have to get people to WATCH it. Put some feeling into your words!
Sesshoumaru: *whip attack*
Offstage: *girlish scream*
Sesshoumaru: Any other suggestions
Sesshoumaru: Well, team Naraku
Kagura: Having your heart stolen *shoots evil look at Naraku*
Sesshoumaru: 10 people are afraid of rejection. Continue, team Naraku
Naraku: *evil grin*
Kagura: No! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! I'm SICK of working for NARAKU! Every time I go out I have to hear about `oh why didn't I kill Inuyasha' or `I'm going to kill you next time, Kagura, I hold your (beep!)ing heart in my hand!' I'm sick of it! SICK! I refuse to put up with it anymore
Sesshoumaru: Take it up with Jerry Springer on the next channel. Team ACROSS
Menchi: Woof! Arf! (trans: being eaten by a crazy (beep!)
Sesshoumaru: That is incorrect. Cannibalism is not one of the choices. Team Naraku
Kanna: Your soul…
Sesshoumaru: Incorrect. We go back with ACROSS
Excel: *thinking about food as usual* Um…oh, I'd have to go with pickles. Definitely pickles.
Sesshoumaru: Incor— *thinks: wtf?*
Sesshoumaru: *reading off screen* 96 people selected pickles at their ultimate fear. One day pickles will take over our minds…
Naraku: fools! Why didn't you think of that?
Kagura: I don't know. Maybe you didn't threaten us enough.
Hakudoushi: Do not speak to Master Naraku like that
Naraku: *pulls rope*
Manager: Sesshoumaru, I don't care if you're a lord. You cannot kill the stage crew. Much as you'd like to think, they are not disposable. They are not tissues
Sesshoumaru: *raises eyebrow*
Manager: No. They are not tissues. I wish they were. Tissues wouldn't argue about severely reduced pay. All right, Sesshoumaru. I'm afraid you're fired.
Sesshoumaru: No, I quit. *walks off*
Excel: I'm out of cookies! Oh no! The fridge is empty!
Hyatt: Why not go to our emergency food rations?
Excel: That's a good idea! *opens door* Here Menchi, here girl…
((empty dog bed))
Excel: OH NOOOOOOOOO
Announcer: GOT MENCHI?