InuYasha Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Zuiichi Takara ❯ Chapter 3: Pondering ( Chapter 3 )

A/n: ‘Ello! Here’s another chapter for you!

Will Change POV’s. “-------” will separate the POV’s and scene changes.

*Zuiichi Takara*

By: Kage Otome

Chapter 3: Pondering

Patience.

Something I was currently lacking at this precise moment. Sango was out there somewhere with who knows what being done to her and we were here. In a clearing. Sitting on our asses doing nothing. I was normally a very patient person. Provided I get my way in the end of course but something was just rubbing me the wrong way. Something was going to happen soon, I just didn't know what. I hate being uninformed. Leaves me feeling inadequate. Really quite irritating.

Glancing up into Kuronue’s eyes I waved my hand in a dismissive gesture. I’m positive he thought something was wrong with me. If I were me I’d probably check if I was sick. Of course I am me, so...Damn. Oh well. It’s just worry over Sango. Perhaps I’m overreacting? Sango’s a big girl. She can take care of herself. Nodding to myself I closed my eyes and fell into a light slumber. A recuperating nap, I was however alert of everything going on around me. It wouldn’t do to be caught off guard now would it?

That would be a mistake.

Mistakes can lead to regrets.

And regrets...

They make you feel.

------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------------------------------------

Calmly dozing under a willow tree, she was just as beautiful as the day I met her. How long ago that was? So many decades. A century, two, I’ve lost count. She has blossomed as only she could. How is it that she always caught my eye? It wasn’t as if her beauty was incomparable to many other youkai I’ve seen. Perhaps it’s because we are so similar yet completely different. Kagome closes off in the presence of others, except me. And a few choice others. We saved each other, yet we are still damned. Being the last of our clans we are constantly hunted. Kami-sama only knows how many times we’ve saved each other’s asses. How many times we’ve bandaged each others wounds.

Much satisfaction is had over stealing and killing those who’d wronged us. Most and I emphasize most of our targets were owned by people who had hunted us or were planning on hunting us. Those people were eliminated, quickly. With no remorse from either of us. This is the world that we lived in since we were born after all. Where one simple rule is the most important. The most enforced.

Kill or be killed.

It was quite simple really. A matter of survival. Natural instinct of any living being is to fight back against something or someone hurting you. Survival instinct. That was drilled into the two of us at a young age. But over the years Kagome and I developed another instinct. Our killer instinct. We instinctively knew when to kill, when not to. We knew most of the time that the ones we killed had families. Perhaps they would hunt us one day. But not today. We honed all our instincts to suit our purposes and they have not failed us yet.

But..

I can’t help but wonder.

What if?

What if things had been different?

------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------

Loo king back and forth between the two youkai I was with I sighed heavily. I knew. They pretended it didn’t matter but I knew I was holding them back, being human, needing more rest and replenishment then them. Kagome cracked an eye to look at me. I blushed. I couldn’t help it. An amused eyebrow raised in response. It was always so hard to read Kagome-sama but I think it’s an amused expression.

“Is something wrong Kohaku?”

“Uh...Erm.”

“What?” ;

“Nothing.” I mumbled in embarrassment.

‘I’ll find you Sango-neesan. I promise.’

---------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------------

I watched him carefully, he was tense and nervous. I wondered why. There was no reason for him to fear Kuronue or myself. We’d known the boy for, ah, well a long time. We’d never harm him. A little peak into the boys mind shouldn’t hurt anyone. What? Don’t look at me like that Kuronue, I’m not doing anything too bad.

Nudging at his unguarded mind I found myself surrounded by guilt. My first thought was a trap. Perhaps, he’d set us up to be killed or sold off? But Kohaku is not someone to pull us, Kuronue and I into a trap. Psh. Were much to smart for to fall for something so obvious. Or are we? Delving deeper, I find his true reason for guilt. Slowing us down. While I cannot deny that he is indeed hindering our progress, I understand it. There was once a time, long ago, I had been in his position. Weak. Of course next to other ningen boys his age he was quite strong.

He’ll train, learn, improve.

Change.

And one day he wouldn’t be the little boy I watched, clumsily trying to hit a flying projectile with his chain sickle. And missing. One day, soon he would grow into a fine and powerful man. Serious, perhaps even cold once he’s seen the cruelties of both human and demon kind. The taint of the mortal world, humans and demons driven by greed and power. And contrary to the belief demons are immortal, it isn’t true. We are still mortal, we can live forever, yes, if we are not killed. Time will change him, perhaps he will turn out like Sango? A hard ass with a mean right hook?

Time changes everyone and everything, no matter how desperately you try to hold on, change has a way of sneaking up on you and turning your world upside down. Change, is the only constant in life. Of course life itself is a bitch, and then you die. Not a very pleasant thing to be thinking, but it’s the truth is it not? Life, this mortal sphere on which we dwell, is more of a place of hell, than Hell could ever be. The corrupt, the impure, the nasty and the downright cold and cruel. Certainly I’m cold, but not cruel. But there are those who are all those things, evil. But the thing that truly disgusts me is not necessarily the evil in the world, but those who stand by and let them. Those who do nothing. Those who let the innocent and young hurt, suffer. Die.

I was one of those who had suffered. No, I don’t make it my mission to hunt down the evil. But let’s just say, if I happen to come upon one, I would not hesitate to kill them. I’ve seen what evil is, was, and always will be. And it’s a far cry from fair or humane. I’ve been the victim of those evils, heck, I’ve killed. But all those I have killed, I had reasons for. I do not kill for enjoyment or pleasure and I most certainly don’t torture nor rape. I know the scars such things leave behind, I bare some. Kuronue does, Yusuke does. Many do. And all bear a scar upon their heart. Not one person is unmarred in this truth.

Especially in these times. Wars and famine, pain and suffering are all so common. Not that it matters much to me. You’d be surprised at how resilient humans are. In ways they are like us youkai. Of course we are just a more advanced, smarter, stronger...I’m getting off topic again aren’t I? Stupid kitsune preening. Yes, I have officially gone, what’s the phrase, ‘off my rocker’ or something like that. Ahem. Anyway.

Humans have always fascinated me, not the weak boring ones mind you. But the choice few I have come upon in all my long years. Did I mention I’m only 300. Not old by demon years. Still quite young actually. But the few humans that I respect, such as Sango have always fascinated me. Their strength, hopes, dreams. I’ve never had hopes or dreams. I want something I take it. Hope is for dreamers. Emotions, something that humans have in vast quantity. Emotions make you feel, they make you weak. They make you do stupid things. But on the other end of the hand they make you strong. I have seen with my own two eyes as emotions made a person stronger in battle. Made their determination to protect what, who they loved stronger. I watched as those emotions helped them conquer, survive, and fall.

Emotions. Such tricky things they were.

But the one emotion that seemed to drive most of them was not hate, not greed, not pain, not hope, not determination or revenge. Not most of the time at least. But love. Of all the emotions, Love.

And still love remains the most mysterious of emotions.

It brings pain, hate and agony. Yet it brings the bright dawn of a new day. Hope, laughter, happiness. This one emotion brings on a torrent of other emotions. This love confuses me. What is love? Is it the willingness to do anything, even stupid things for a person. Is it hurting a person and breaking their heart to protect them? What is it? Perhaps my question will never be answered.

But one thing I know for certain is that love...

Love makes you feel invincible and strong. Love makes you feel broken and dead. Love makes you feel. And maybe I’m satisfied with just that. How odd that I would be thinking about love now of all times. How very odd. But alas. My mind does tend to wander from topic to topic. Hardly ever staying on one to long. But why is it, I, who have never known love, never wanted to know love, want to?

If there is one thing that is for certain.

Love brings pain. It is inevitable.

I don’t want love.

I don’t need love.

Love, is for fools. And I, Kagome am no fool.