InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ "Shards of Our Memories": The Soap Opera ❯ Chapter 11: Dynasty of Memory ( Chapter 11 )

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha.

A/N: I'm so sorry about the extremely long wait! I finally got around to finishing up this chapter. I hope you all still have interest in how this ends- one more chapter to go! This one was kind of difficult to write, but I think it turned out nicely. Finally, Inuyasha's past will be revealed….Enjoy it!

"Shards of Our Memories"

Chapter 11: Dynasty of Memory

"Wow…this tastes really good!"

"You sound so surprised," she quipped dryly. After a mostly uneventful cooking marathon in the kitchen, Kagome and Inuyasha had managed to turn out a good meal. Well, it had actually been Kagome doing most of the work and Inuyasha standing off to the side helplessly.

"Now, if we had made ramen, there wouldn't have been any problem…" Inuyasha smirked over his forkful of pasta.

Kagome rolled her eyes. "There would have been less of a problem, had you tried to learn faster."

Inuyasha looked defeated. "Trust me, you don't want me touching sharp or extremely hot objects. It leads only to disaster." He looked up and saw Kagome's eyes twinkling merrily at him. He colored slightly, suddenly feeling abashed at her open gaze.

She opened her mouth for a second, as if she wanted to say something, and then closed it again like a trap.

Kagome turned her eyes to look at her food, sniffing annoyedly at her own actions. After all, part of the reason she had invited him over was to find out more about him. Was she already losing her nerve to ask him personal questions? Her stomach twisted nervously as a silence fell across the dinner table. The clink of forks radiated in her ears.

"What?" Inuyasha asked, realizing the bluntness of the question the minute it left his mouth. He looked like a confused puppy at her sudden change in attitude. "What did you want to ask me?"

"It was stupid…never mind…" Kagome knew she was a horrible liar, and tonight was only affirming her conviction.

"Alright…" he seemed disappointed, and the spark that had been in their conversation so far that night was dissipating fast. The silence was prolonged even further.

"Who was Kikyo?"

Kagome didn't even know how it happened. The question that she had been dying to ask for months had suddenly tumbled out of her mouth, and there was no way they could pretend it hadn't been asked. But, yet, she didn't feel she could have waited any longer to know the identity of the mystery woman.

The atmosphere of the room froze in some kind of icy mass, and Kagome felt dread rising in her. Now, why did she have to be so stupid? The look on Inuyasha's face told her that they had just made a step in the wrong direction. A first date was not a place to be asking probing questions about dark pasts, and that had become crystal clear to her.

Inuyasha's fork clattered on the wooden table, and she was surprised that he was staring at her. His eyes were hardened, but it was as if they were looking through her to see something that had long since died away. She felt frightened that she could cause any such change in him. Had it really been so long since he'd thought about Kikyo? Were all of those rumors about him true? The scandal? A murder? The cloud on his face told her absolutely nothing.

And then he spoke, his voice stronger and thicker than she had expected. His golden eyes were sharp again, the fog of memory lifted momentarily, and he was staring into her very soul. "I…suppose it's time I told somebody." His sheepish smile was wistful and it made her heart wring.

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Sango took each stone stair at a time. Each yank at the wrought-iron handrail matched a heavy step.

Was makeup artistry really supposedly to be this tolling on a body? Of course, Sango normally didn't have to stay this far past sunset to do work, but Kouga had been set on making his monologue perfect. Perfect obviously meant that thirty takes was necessary. He had explained that the daytime soap awards were approaching, and his individual scenes had to be as outstanding as possible.

But, for God's sake, the man was monologue-ing to a mirror! It didn't get much more trivial than that.

Maybe I just don't understand the nuances of acting. She smirked wryly to herself.

Either way, he feet ached and her head was sick of diva complaints. Two flights of hard stairs had never seemed like so much any other day. All she cared about at that precise moment was having a nice hot dinner and curling up on the couch with her cat.

Finally, the staircase had been conquered and she trudged up to her apartment door.

Sango's eyes widened in surprise. Right on her doorstep sat a little bouquet of red roses, haloed in the faint light of the hallway fixture. She knelt down, forgetting the fact that the breeze was chilly and that she had promised herself no more distractions from food. A small square envelope was tied to the paper around the bouquet, with a red ribbon. She pulled it off gently, and opened it up to find a small card inside.

Sango colored pleasantly as she read the note, the pain in her feet magically disappeared.

Who knew Miroku could be so sweet?

"To my dearest Sango- for without you, we would all be lost."

The message was short, but nevertheless she hugged the bundle of flowers to her chest in happiness. She would have to find a proper way of thanking him later.

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Every time Inuyasha looked back on that night three years ago, he remembered so distinctly the emotions he had felt. Despite pain and sadness, there had at first been this overwhelming sense of contentment. Here his life was falling perfectly into place. If all of his cards were played right, the woman of his dreams would be in his arms. His simple worries about paparazzi and the next photo shoot would be laid to rest if only he got this wish. Though it wasn't a little wish- it was something big that filled up his thoughts every waking moment and made him smile when he was alone.

That night would have been the perfect night.

Most clearly his last happy memory of that night was when he was looking in the mirror at himself. He couldn't remember ever being as giddy as then. Inuyasha had pored his eyes over the grin on his face, the perfection of his clothes that had been carefully picked out in advance, and the shine in his own features. He was becoming the man he was born to be, in something as silly and joyous as a crush.

The flowers in the vase on the hall table were bright, almost blood red. They were symbols of love, weren't they? Passion as deep and dark as it could come. Boiling blood and emotion. Flesh. He had bought them especially for the occasion.

And then the night was split by a solitary ring. Was she calling him? Before that moment, phones had just been convenience for communicating.

That single ring was what made him hate the telephone. It was so shrill in his mind that it was a reminder of human suffering.

"Hello?" He had snatched up the phone in a nervous tumble, hoping that it didn't mean Kikyo couldn't keep the date. On the other end of the line was pulsating noise and loud chatter. "Hello?" he repeated, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Inuyasha…." Kaede's voice was choked. "There's been an accident."

Then he was tearing down the sidewalk, his feet pumping against the icy concrete, making thudding noises that rang through the alleyways. Kaede had told him the place, only three blocks from Inuyasha's house. He had wasted no time in slamming down the phone, yanking his coat from the rack and sprinting out into the cool night air. For February, the weather was the coldest it had been in a decade.

Inuyasha didn't find time to think about much as he ran. The sole thought that flew through his mind was that he had to go to where Kikyo was and make sure she was okay. Nothing in this world could stop Kikyo from achieving her goals, but there were obstacles that had slowed her down. He wouldn't let her be hurt.

The red and blue lights of the police cars spun dangerously, bouncing off the sleet on the ground. A huge crowd had gathered, and a cold hush hung on the faces of the watchers. A red fire truck, and an ambulance. Kaede's car. Sesshomaru's car. They were all there. He wrenched his way through the crowd, heedless of the indignant cries that followed.

He looked on and his eyes focused to the crushed vehicle that had overturned. Glass had shot along the street, and her red coupe doors were bent at odd angles.

That's when the rain began to pour.

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Inuyasha stopped talking, and the dinner table was quiet again.

When Kagome ever thought of Inuyasha, she pictured him as strong, youthful and brash. Even if he had glimmers of sensitivity and tenderness within him, he was supposed to be able to withstand anything. But, the man before her was so different than the idealized image. He didn't cry- all of his tears had been cried long ago- but his shoulders slumped tiredly, and the shine in his eyes was dulled at the moment.

"I guess it's really my fault it happened…and it's been…so hard to deal with that fact. I miss her so much." His brow tightened.

Kagome was startled out of her frozen despair. "But how could a freak accident be your fault? I thought you said her car slid on the ice! How could you possibly have controlled that…?"

His golden eyes met hers, and he sighed deeply. "It's because she never would have taken that road if it hadn't been for me. I had begged her to come over that night after her rehearsals. I needed to tell her something important! But if I had just waited and not forced her to come so late, all of this wouldn't have happened!" He looked so hopeless that Kagome was at a loss for words.

Her voice shook a little. "What did you need to tell her…?"

His lips twisted in raw irony. "I wanted to ask her to marry me."

Kagome inhaled sharply, the full effect of Inuyasha's involvement with Kikyo hitting her. All the rumors she had heard, from Sango and otherwise, were wrong. Kikyo had not betrayed Inuyasha, she had not been murdered….and they would have been married if not for the accident. She felt her throat constricting in sadness, and a strange pang of envy rising in her. It was a feeling that she didn't like- she was again beginning to feel jealous of a dead woman: she was the reason Inuyasha was staring blankly into space as if Kagome wasn't even in the same room.

"After that, things just got worse. The press had a field day." He snorted bitterly. "Said it was foul play, and that one of the cast mates had obviously sabotaged Kikyo. They wanted to know the intimate details of our relationship- something we had kept completely private. So, I had to abandon the show."

Inuyasha shook himself, hating how all the old memories were cluttering his mind again. He had told himself earlier that he would be able overcome the pain of loss…but meeting Kagome had made everything resurface.

He jumped slightly. Hesitant, cool hands were on his shoulders, commanding his attention. Inuyasha saw that Kagome had left her seat and was now standing in front of him. Her eyes that had always seemed so luscious to him were full with unshed tears of sympathy. It was a jolt to remember that he had just revealed himself to her- and now he responsible for making her feel sad. It was, after all, his pain to bear alone. That's why he had never told anybody the truth behind what had happened.

He tried to turn away from her, but before he could, she had wrapped her arms tightly around his body. His limbs stiffened under the embrace. What was she trying to accomplish by holding him like this?

Within a few moments, he began to relax into the embrace, half of him wanting to let go and just bury himself in her. Why was she being so tender to him? He always asked that question to himself. When had he ever done anything to deserve her?

"I'm sure Kikyo wouldn't want you to blame yourself. What happened has happened, and we can't change the past. The wounds may heal, but they'll never leave you, and that's something we all have to accept." She shut her eyes tight, wishing she could make it all go away if she held him as tight as possible. "And….and I'm sure she loved you back."

Inuyasha's arms circled tightly around her waist, drawing her into him. His face was nestled in her dark hair, and he exhaled shakily.

Maybe if she was here, everything wouldn't be so bad.

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A/N: Hope it was worth the wait! Thank you so much for waiting and not getting on my case. The last chapter will be an epilogue. Look for it very soon.