InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ B & B ❯ Secrets, Decisions, and Secret Decisions ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Blanket Disclaimer:

Inuyasha, and the characters therein, are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I am in no way affiliated with Takahashi, or VIZ Productions.


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Chapter 3 – Secrets, Decisions, and Secret Decisions






As Kagome listened to Inuyasha confess his greatest secret, the first thought to come to mind was how her grandfather would have loved to have learned something like that. He’d always prided himself on his in-depth knowledge of the youkai world, though she could certainly understand how something like that had successfully remained a tightly guarded secret among hanyou and the parents of hanyou. Probably nobody ever knew about it until the first time it happened, and it was only common sense that you wouldn’t want to let just anyone discover such a thing. That he was telling her now, she felt both humbled and honored.

“You’re telling me this because of my miko powers, aren’t you?” she asked bluntly, though with amazement clear in her voice. “You knew I’d sense it when your youki disappeared.”

“Yes.” he answered her honestly. What was the point in lying?

“Well…” she started after a moment, looking across at him as they remained seated on the couch, his still amber eyes piercing her very soul. “Even though you sort of felt like you didn’t have a choice, thank you…for trusting me with something like this. I swear to you on my life that I shall never tell a soul.”

Such a serious, formal vow… He hadn’t been expecting that kind of a reaction, and all the air just sort of whooshed out of him, along with the last of his anxieties. Deciding it was time for dinner, they turned the TV off and headed into the kitchen, Inuyasha offering to help Kagome with whatever he could along the lines of preparation for their evening meal. At first she tried to argue, stating how it was her job to cook for him, but when he insisted that he could never repay her for all the kindness she’d shown him and that it was quite literally the least he could do, she eventually relented. Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to get him to agree to stay with her, after all…though she wasn’t quite brave enough to voice her offer just yet.

They engaged in idle conversation throughout dinner, Inuyasha daring to share a little more of himself as he told her some random stories about no particular time in his life. Stories about some of the various jobs he’d been on and some of the various youkai he’d fought in the past. While he still didn’t reveal to her the true depth of his sword’s destructive powers, he did confess, upon her inquiry, that the blade possessed supernatural abilities. He also confessed, upon her inquiry, that he himself possessed some supernatural abilities, as well, even besides the obvious things like slow aging and fast healing, super strength and senses. Kagome had already figured out those things on her own based on the strength of his youki and the nature of his youkai heritage. But when she learned that he was capable of generating youki-based attacks from his own body, instead of feeling even the slightest hint of fear, Kagome expressed her fascination with him, wondering aloud just what it was that caused certain beings to possess such types of power. After all, she was not without her own variety of magic, being a miko, and she expressed equal curiosity with regard to her own being and her own abilities. Shrugging, Inuyasha hypothesized that humans like houshi and miko were probably nature’s way of balancing the score. When asked if it bothered him that she was a miko, Inuyasha was honest when he told her that he actually appreciated the fact that she had her own set of powers. It made them more equal, in his eyes. He didn’t fear her; even if she suddenly decided to turn on him, he’d dealt with his fair share of spiritualists over the years and he was certain that he could defend himself, but the opposite was also true. Because Kagome knew that she could also defend herself, she had no need to fear him, either, and he liked the fact that they were on even terms.

They were in the middle of dessert when it started, his youki pulsing loudly against her senses as it seemingly cried out in despair. Unable to tear her gaze away from him, she stared openly as the changes gradually consumed him. Slowly, like watching the roots of bleached hair growing out in super high-speed, raven black inked its way down into his silvery tresses. His ears…the adorable, fuzzy, she’d been doing everything within her power to not childishly ask him if she could touch them, ears…they morphed and grew bald before her very eyes, climbing down the sides of his head as if someone had fed a computer a ‘before’ and ‘after’ shot and allowed image-morphing software to fill in the rest. Taking a brief moment to glance down at his hands, which were on open display upon the table as if he knew she would want visual access to every part of him, Kagome immediately noted the way his claws thinned and shortened, turning into regular, predominantly useless human fingernails. Once it was over, he sighed, and then offered her a phony smile, showing off his missing fangs. His face immediately bounced back into a scowl, a look of discomfort in his now chocolate eyes flashing her way as he picked up his spoon and resumed eating his ice cream.

“I understand, if you want to go to bed early tonight.” Kagome told him quietly after a moment, not sure what else to say to break the awkward silence between them after the change was complete.

“Actually, I ain’t plannin’ on going to bed at all.” he answered her, his voice still the same yet somehow noticeably different at the same time in a way she didn’t quite know how to describe. “I never sleep during my human night,” he added, “and that stupid bed of yours is too damn comfortable for its own good. Is it okay if I watch TV out here? I’ll keep the volume down.”

Kagome offered him a sincere smile.

“Of course, that’s fine. Did you want to be by yourself, or would you like some company?” she asked him gently.

He looked momentarily surprised, but then shrugged it off. “Ain’t no point in sending you away since you already know, so sure, if you wanted to stay up with me for a while, I ain’t gonna stop ya.”

She smiled at that, somehow sensing that his nonchalance was code for actually wanting her company. After all, if he truly wanted to be by himself, then surely he would’ve just said so.

Finishing their dessert, Kagome and Inuyasha headed back into the living room, regaining their positions on the couch from when he’d confessed to her his secret before dinner. They watched TV in silence for a little while, but it wasn’t long before Kagome couldn’t hold herself back any more.

“Does it hurt?” she asked him suddenly, cringing even as the words left her mouth.

Inuyasha sighed, pushing mute on the remote.

“I’m sorry…you don’t have to talk to me about it if you don’t want to.” Kagome spoke up before he even had a chance to say anything.

“It’s not that I don’t wanna talk about it, it’s just that I…I know me, and I’m more open and emotional when I’m like this. See! Already I never would’ve even told you that!”

Kagome couldn’t help but to giggle behind her hand a little bit at his flustered state, the hanyou-turned-human blushing like an embarrassed teenager at his unintentional confession.

“Well it’s up to you.” she told him then. “I am most certainly curious, and would love to hear absolutely anything that you feel willing to share, but I understand and will respect your privacy, if you do not feel comfortable talking about such things.”

His eyes softened.

“I…I do feel comfortable around you, Kagome, I just don’t understand why.” he confessed quietly.

“Well…when was the last time you let somebody know this much about you? That somebody knew you were a hanyou, and that you turn human once a month?” Kagome asked him, trying to point out how it was okay for him to feel more open with her than other people because he was more open with her than other people. While the original whys behind that openness were unknown, even to her, she couldn’t deny that she’d felt an uncanny closeness with him, as well, sharing her own life story when she’d most certainly never told any of her other guests any of the things she’d shared with him that first morning. But what was done was done, so now, did it even really matter ‘why’? Maybe they had both just been left alone for too long, and so together, they’d sought comfort in each other, recognizing each other as kindred spirits of loneliness.

“Not since Kikyou.” he answered her before thinking, his eyes widening in panic at the slip.

Sensing from his own reaction to his words that they’d just stumbled upon something extremely personal, Kagome hesitated before daring to ask, “Who’s Kikyou?”

Sighing, Inuyasha reluctantly confessed to Kagome the part about his life in the taijiya village that he’d omitted before, in that, at least briefly, his life hadn’t been quite as lonely as she had been led to believe. He told her how he had actually found love, once, having been engaged to be married, his beloved being a miko who had been prepared and willing to give up her trade for a normal life with him until the shogunate had stormed in right at the wrong time and ruined everything, turning most of the village against him and forcing him to flee. He didn’t divulge much of his heartache, that hadn’t been her question, after all, but it was true that Kikyou had been the last person he’d been so open and honest with. While everyone living in the taijia village had known that he was half human, only the headman’s family, Miroku and Kikyou had known that he occasionally turned human. Kikyou had been the last person he’d ever shared that secret with, and that had been around a hundred and fifty years ago, give or take.

Kagome was surprised to learn that he had actually had a relationship once in the past, though she was glad for him that he’d had the experience, and sad for the way it had ended. Easily recognizing that it was still a tender subject for him, she chose her next words very carefully, glossing over his broken heart to stick to the subject of him generally letting people in on his secrets. “Well…” she started gently, reaching across the couch to place a caring hand on his shoulder. “I’d say that you’re overdo for letting it all come out, then. Nobody can keep themselves bottled up forever, they don’t make bottles big enough.”

Laughing a little despite himself, Inuyasha’s human emotions didn’t have their usual youkai buffers in place to keep his heart at bay. Deciding in that moment that even if Kagome betrayed him, that so long as she let him look into her beautiful stormy gray-blue eyes while she stabbed him in the heart that he could die a happy man, the hanyou-turned-human found himself opening up to her completely. He told her everything. Earlier, he had stopped with the biology lesson of a hanyou’s human time, preparing her for what was going to happen to him, but nothing more. Now, he shared his entire history with her, regarding his ‘time of the month’. He told her of how his mother had once told him of how she’d been so scared the first time he’d changed, as a two-week-old baby. How he wouldn’t stop crying. He even remembered crying during his human nights as a small child, and his poor mother doing her best to sooth him with her lullabies. It didn’t hurt, he assured Kagome in that moment, but to a child who didn’t understand it, it had been the scariest thing in the world to suddenly lose all his senses. Hell, even as an adult over two centuries old, it was still the scariest thing in the world to suddenly lose all his senses, and that fear was the real reason he sought shelter in the human world on a monthly basis. He explained to her that his youkai senses were so strong that to suddenly become human, it was the same level of shock it would be to her system if she went completely blind and deaf for one night a month.

She shuddered at the thought. She could certainly understand his desire to get himself someplace safe on those nights.

After sharing so much of himself, Kagome immediately felt that she owed him one in the ‘life history’ department, and so it wasn’t long at all before she ended up telling him that he could ask her whatever he wanted in return, if there was anything else he’d like to know about her as well.

Boy was there ever.

Questioning her about her miko training, first and foremost, Inuyasha wished to learn just how strong of a miko she actually was. For starters, how had she learned to create wards that only blocked jyaki without blocking youki altogether? It turned out that the language behind writing the ofuda was easy, since most wards against oni essentially stated their protection against evil. It was the perspective of the monk or miko who infused the ward with their power that ultimately affected what the ward itself considered to be ‘evil’ in the end. Creating wards that only repelled jyaki had been her idea, shortly after moving into the B & B back when it had still belonged to her grandmother, and it was something Kagome had had to teach herself how to do since none of her grandfather’s scrolls had mentioned such a thing. But truth be told, she had been nervous of a youkai attack, living so close to the forest, though growing equally as close to the kitsune and not wanting to risk accidentally injuring any of them, or worse, had been what’d driven her to find a way to create her unique type of warding. She didn’t want to hurt anybody, or at least not anybody who hadn’t been looking to hurt her first. How did she know she’d succeeded? The kitsune were able to project their youki into false copies of themselves, Shippou called it his ‘duplication’ spell. When she had been practicing, he’d sent his duplicates towards her barrier, and only after they started to make it through without poofing away did he dare to approach the border himself. How did they know her barrier still actively protected against jyaki? It had been risky, but with the kitsune’s assistance, a lowly, unintelligent oni had been found and lured toward the inn. Her barrier had not killed it, but it had successfully repelled it try after try, which was exactly what she’d been going for. After a few minutes the beast had thankfully given up and headed back into the forest, no harm done. She was relieved it hadn’t headed into town, instead, because then she would have probably had to ‘take care of it’. Fortunately, that hadn’t been the case, though she’d had her bow with her during the experiment, just in case.

Yes, it turned out that she could fire purifying arrows, surprise surprise, as well as make ofuda at full purifying strength, though she also told Inuyasha in that moment that she’d never had any interest in taking up youkai-slaying as a profession. Not even against the youkai that were truly evil, like he himself used to do. She just hadn’t wanted that kind of a life. Her ‘when I grow up’ dreams had consisted mainly of getting married and raising a family. Shrine miko or no, she hadn’t been about to let the old idealism of miko needing to remain pure prevent her from finding a husband. Much like Kikyou had decided for a brief time, if true love had ever found her, Kagome would have readily followed her heart. She apologized sympathetically to Inuyasha for the fact that in the end, Kikyou had let her fear of the shogun rule her life, but surprisingly he brushed off her concerns. He’d long ago convinced himself that he and Kikyou simply hadn’t been meant to be, because otherwise, they would have stayed together, simple as that. He appreciated that he at least had some happy memories of his brief time with Kikyou to look back on with a smile, but she was in the past, and he knew he couldn’t live in the past. His Buddhist friend Miroku had taught him that all things in life happened for a reason, and that in the end, everything was as it should be, so he always tried to live his life one day at a time, accepting that whatever happened, happened because it was meant to.

Kagome agreed with that philosophy, bringing up how her own life had gone in a completely different direction from her childhood plans and dreams. Being a miko, or even giving up being a miko to raise a family…that was all in the past, now. She was one birthday away from turning into Christmas Cake, and she hadn’t had a boyfriend since high school. But she didn’t regret her decision to stay at the Yukiyama Inn instead of returning to her old shrine home in back Tokyo. Yes, one of the main deciding factors had been the kitsune, she admitted upon his inquiry, but she also told Inuyasha of her dream, of the vision she’d had at age fifteen that the B & B was her own home and her own business. Why would she want to go back to the lonely shrine in Tokyo? There was nothing for her there. She needed to follow the path the kami had chosen for her, and discover for herself where her destiny would lead her. So far, she was very happy with her life in the northern mountains, even if it was much lonelier than she would’ve preferred, not having anyone to share it with on a permanent basis.

Shyly, Inuyasha assured Kagome that he was sure, if she truly believed in all things happening for a reason, as he did, that whatever plans the kami had laid out for her would unveil themselves in time.

“I hope so…” she answered, a strange twinkle in her eyes that he wasn’t sure he could properly identify, though he was sure he didn’t want to guess and risk being wrong.

Quickly getting the conversation back around to less…serious…topics, Inuyasha insisted that they didn’t need to spill every single thing about each other all in one sitting, that his ‘bottle’ definitely felt much less heavy now that he’d poured at least some of himself out of it, and that if she was tired and wanted to go to bed, he was perfectly capable of watching TV by himself for the rest of the night.

It hadn’t been a subtle hint for her to leave him be, however, and so upon her continued insistence that she wanted to stay up with him, he continued to let her, and that was how Inuyasha found himself grinning stupidly at the slumbering miko passed out on the couch next to him at four in the morning. She’d lasted much longer than he’d thought she would, but eventually she’d started nodding off, though she’d still resisted every time he insisted he knew she was tired. Why she’d felt obligated to stay up with him he hadn’t a clue, though he truly appreciated the gesture. Instead of patronizing him for his imbedded fear of vengeful youkai during his human night, she had offered him a sense of security he hadn’t felt since living with the taijiya.

“Didn’t we just establish how I’m a powerful miko?” she’d asked him with a soft grin when he’d admitted his unshakable fear, assuring him that even though nothing evil could get past her barrier, that if something did, she was far from rusty with her powers. She had ofuda and knew how to use them, plus, if something really big showed up, she even had her old bow and a full quiver of arrows stashed away in the back of her closet.

He had been truly touched by her words of reassurance, though to be completely honest, for the first time in a really long time, this new moon Inuyasha found himself not really fearing a possible youkai attack. Her place still carried with it a sense of security, which he supposed had everything to do with her warding around the property. That was why, when her body finally gave in and caused her to fall asleep, he didn’t begrudge her for it, nor did he wake her up.

Planning on letting her sleep-in while surprising her by fixing breakfast for them, himself, as a way of saying ‘thanks for everything’, the hanyou’s plans were ruined at dawn. Immediately, upon the first pulse of youki to wash through him, Kagome roused, her miko senses powerful enough to alert her of her surroundings even in sleep. For some reason, that knowledge made him feel even more secure, realizing that had trouble actually somehow found them during the night, she most likely would have sensed it coming and woken up.

Immediately bouncing into an upright position and apologizing profusely for having fallen asleep in the first place, Inuyasha couldn’t help but to chuckle at the girl’s antics, even as his youki continued to pulse in time with his heartbeat, his youkai characteristics returning one by one.

Instantly feeling humiliated by how much of an emotional blabbermouth he had been the night before, Inuyasha sat at the edge of the couch, arms on his legs as he studied his feet, unsure of how he felt. Kagome’s gentle hand on his shoulder followed by her soothing voice asking him with a playful twist if he needed coffee as badly as she did successfully broke the ice between them, and he offered her a small smile before following her into the kitchen.

Breakfast was less awkward than either of them had anticipated, except for the brief moment when Kagome made him blush down to his toes by proclaiming her relief that his ‘cute’ ears were back. She even managed to get in a quick tweak as she said the word cute, retracting her hand before he had time to bat it away, flushing at her attentions but otherwise not saying anything in protest. After finishing his meal, Inuyasha stood up and away from the table, declaring that he should ‘probably get going’, which functioned as a giant kick in Kagome’s pants, informing her that it was now or never.

“You don’t…have to leave just yet, if you didn’t want to.” she told him shyly, mentally kicking herself a second time for sounding like a nervous teenager all of a sudden.

He offered her a slight grin, but then stated realistically, “I need to save my money. I’d love to stay another night or two, but I really can’t afford it.”

She visibly grimaced at his words. It was so easy to forget that he was a paying customer, essentially no different from any of the other countless strangers she’d welcomed into her home only to send on their way again. So why did it feel so different with him?

Because everything about him and this entire situation is different, and you know it…she argued with herself, scolding herself for dillydallying when he was already preparing to leave.

“What if I offered you a free room in exchange for work?” she asked him then, bound and determined to at least get her offer on the table.

He visibly hesitated at her offer, appearing to be caught somewhere in between wanting to accept and telling himself that he shouldn’t. Was it because she was a young woman, instead of an old fisherman with poor eyesight? Was it because he could lower his guard around her, since she essentially knew everything about him by that point, and that notion scared him half to death because he’d never let another person under his shield like that since his fiancée of a century and a half prior?

She felt the same way, in a sense, if that were the case. For years she’d seen strangers come and go, and while she’d made nice, offering small talk and pleasantries, she’d never before been so open about herself or her own past. It wasn’t really anybody’s business how she’d come to acquire her own Bed and Breakfast at her age, after all, and she also wasn’t delusional enough to believe that any of her guests truly cared, anyway. But with Inuyasha it was different, and she knew it was because he was a hanyou. Well, even when she’d thought he was a pure-blooded youkai, there had already been a kind of connection between them because she’d known – at least mostly – what he was, and so she’d felt it only right to share with him her own past in return. A kind of ‘show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ with regard to their personal histories, since he’d pretty much had no choice but to reveal himself to her, considering her miko powers had more or less outted him.

“You don’t have to decide right away.” she added after a moment, when it appeared he wouldn’t be able to give her an answer any time soon. “Why don’t you stay for at least one more night, free of charge? Consider it my ‘thank you’ for trusting me with your secret. But I would like you to think about my offer, I mean it. While I’m doing okay by myself, I could certainly use the help, and I wouldn’t force you to stick around whenever any other guests are present, if you’d rather make yourself scarce at those times. But when it’s quiet, like now, not only could I use the company, but I could use a handyman who has experiencing fixing things.”

That said, she shut her yap before it started to sound too much like she was begging him to stay, which was exactly how she felt. Whether he could sense her desperation or not, she couldn’t be sure, but after what felt like an eternity, Inuyasha slowly nodded, a grin finding its way to his lips.

The truth was he was so happy he was in shock. While he still maintained the pessimistic realization in the back of his mind that this arrangement couldn’t possibly last forever, he also realized that he would be a fool to outright turn down such an offer. He had learned long ago that he had to tackle life headfirst, one day at a time, and if he could wrestle himself up a new, steady place to live for at least a few months, for free, well…those would be a few less months from the total of his life in which he’d had to worry about finding himself a place to live. Yes, he was nervous about staying in her company for very much longer, primarily because of how rapidly he felt himself growing close to her, which was strictly against his policy, but in the end, the appeal of free shelter in an environment where he didn’t have to worry about hiding his hanyou status easily won out over such concerns. He already liked Kagome, so he had already fucked up in that regard. Was it really so bad to allow himself a friendship again after so many years, so many decades of solitude? Where was it written that he couldn’t allow himself a few moments of happiness sprinkled into the crap hole that was his life? Besides, his policy about not allowing himself to grow too close to anyone was primarily based on the fact that he had to hide what he was, and Kagome already knew what he was, so logically that rule was null and void in this instance, anyway. True, he would undoubtedly have to leave her one day, for her own good, but he did not regret his time spent with the taijiya, nor with Kikyou, and he already knew that he would not regret his time spent with Kagome, either, be it days, months or years. Once it was over, he would look back on his time spent with her fondly; of that he was sure.

Agreeing to take her up on her offer, then, Inuyasha let her to believe that he meant only that he’d take her up on the offer of thinking about her other offer, though he already knew he’d tell her yes. Smiling brightly, Kagome clapped her hands together before shooing him out of her kitchen, insisting she would take care of the dishes. She then planned on compiling a list of things that could use a little repair work around the inn, things that she had been putting off because they weren’t immediately essential to the continuation of her business, and would also require paying somebody to do them for her since they were beyond what she could do all by herself. The sakura trees could all use some pruning, a couple of cracked tiles in the kitchen countertop needed to be replaced, the exterior of the house could use a fresh coat of paint, and the small storage shed out by the garden had a leaky roof.

Later that afternoon when she began telling Inuyasha of the various things she would be able to come up with for him to keep himself busy around the inn, he didn’t have the heart to tell her that he could finish with all of those tasks in less than a week. It was clear to him that she just wanted him to stay, and that she was doing her best to find work for him so that he wouldn’t feel like it was a charity case. While it was true that it would normally bother him, more than a little bit, to think of a woman such as Kagome feeling sorry for him, he knew that in reality she was just as starved for attention as he was. Hell, she had even admitted it straight to his face, that she could use a handyman, sure, but that she could also use the company. So, if she truly wanted him to stay for a while longer then he would stay for a while longer, simple as that. If being her ‘company’ was what she really wanted out of him, then that was a pretty easy gig, truth be told, and if he could actually get a few odd jobs done for her at the same time, well then that was just an added bonus as far as he was concerned. He certainly felt like she deserved his assistance, in that regard, considering all that she had given him in return, even before her offer to continue living under her roof free of charge. Just for accepting him as a hanyou, for not fearing him or finding him disgusting, he owed her everything. And so when he told her during dinner that night that he agreed, that he would stay with her for the time being, not putting any specific departure date on his stay, it was no wonder that the smile she sent his way had him blushing to his ears with its intensity. Upon her teasing him about it he insisted that he wasn’t blushing, but rather, that the brightness of her smile had sunburned him. He loved the sound of her laughter.

For the next week things remained pretty much the same as they had been for the first three nights of his visit. When it turned out Kagome already had replacement tiles, mortar and grout for the kitchen counter he went ahead and got that little problem taken care of, but the painting would have to wait until after she purchased some, as would replacing the rotten roof planks on her garden shed. It would also be best for the sakura trees to be pruned during the winter, but he was nervous to voice such a thing aloud, apprehensive of just how long she was truly willing to let him stay with her. He would most certainly be willing to stay for that long, or even longer, but he just didn’t want to get his hopes up. The ‘not knowing’ was killing him, though he maintained his backup plan, keeping his peace of mind with the fact that he was prepared. He could handle riding out Kagome’s hospitality for however long it lasted when in the end, he would merely go back to the way things had been from before he’d met her. When it was finally time for him to move on, he would still have approximately seven months worth of hotel funds in his backpack, and his immediate plan was to head down south, back to Tokyo. He didn’t need to think about that just yet, though.

Neither of them having forgotten about her other guests that were due to arrive the following weekend, Kagome left the final decision up to Inuyasha whether or not he wanted to stay with her throughout their stay. She would most certainly not kick him out, especially since she had two other guestrooms and would only need one of them for the young couple planning on staying there for two nights, but if he didn’t want to risk complicating things if either of them happened to suspect he wasn’t entirely human, he could make himself scarce for his own peace of mind and she wouldn’t fault him for it.

Ultimately, Inuyasha decided to stay out in the woods over the weekend the other couple was with her, keeping himself occupied by playing with the kitsune that were equally as bored without their ability to be near their favorite human. The time apart truly got him thinking. What would he do once she got busy? Even if he stayed locked away in his room most of the time, and even if nobody ever suspected a thing regarding his heritage, he couldn’t overlook the fact that while he took up space in one of Kagome’s three guestrooms, that was one whole third of her annual income down the drain. If she was booked solid all throughout winter and into early spring, which she had already told him she usually was, then that meant that all three of her rooms were in use at all times. Would he just move out to the woods near her home until after sakura season had passed? While that thought didn’t really bother him all that much, considering a large part of him did love the forest, and always would, what about his human nights? What if she already had guests needing all three rooms and there wasn’t a room available for him on that one particular night? Even though the area around her inn was safe because of her wardings and the kitsune, he couldn’t stay out in the forest over night as a human in the middle of winter. He supposed they would cross that bridge when they came to it, as the saying went, pretty sure Kagome would do her best to think of something, but he absolutely hated the unknown, even when that unknown was over three months away. The reality of the matter was that he would probably have to move out before her busy season got started, meaning his time with her was limited, after all. Doing his best to take his mind off of it for the time being, though, the hanyou honed his senses, his ears turning to and fro. He was being watched. Smirking to himself, he let his ‘predator’ get a few meters closer, and then he pounced, the hunter becoming the hunted as Shippou let out a playful squeal, his tiger guise disappearing in a puff of pink smoke as he turned into his true fox form, darting off quickly through the trees as Inuyasha gave chase.

Of course, the hanyou wasn’t the only one to find himself plagued with thoughts of the immediate future. His same concerns had also occurred to Kagome the first morning she found herself preparing breakfast for somebody other than the dog-eared man she had grown used to greeting every morning. Her distracted state of mind went completely unnoticed to her guests, who were polite enough even though it was fairly obvious they were far too interested in each other and their vacation plans to truly pay their host much more attention than thanking her for their breakfast. They made polite small talk while Kagome joined them for the morning meal, but as soon as they were done eating they excused themselves, heading out for the day to do some forest and local town exploration with the promise that they would be back that evening at a decent hour. Having the house all to herself for the time being, Kagome found herself realizing both that she already missed Inuyasha terribly, even though he hadn’t really gone anywhere, and that come season, she wouldn’t be able to afford leaving one of her rooms unrented. That meant there were only two truly logical solutions. One, Inuyasha really did need to move on, and while it would pain her for a time, she was sure she could get over it eventually, as would he. Two, and a solution that had her heart fluttering in her chest rather than sinking into her stomach, Inuyasha could share her room, at least for his human nights. That thought had her cheeks warming and her palms growing sweaty, though trying to calm her racing heart she reminded herself that there was no point in thinking that far ahead just yet. He’d only been staying with her for a week, after all. Maybe he would grow tired of her and want to move out before her busy season started.

Then again, maybe he wouldn’t.

Well, she supposed she would cross that bridge when they came to it. She most certainly had no intention of kicking him out of her home indefinitely throughout her busy season. What did that say about their friendship? That she didn’t mind him living with her so long as nobody else was around? That hardly seemed right. But…although he had assured her for this weekend that he truly did feel at peace out in the woods, and that he honestly felt more comfortable sticking to the trees rather than having to be around her other guests – and she was pretty sure that that would hold true even more so when all three of her rooms were rented out non-stop…she also knew from his own admittance that he could never stay out in the woods during his human night. Especially not during the winter, he’d freeze! So, if he truly wished to move out to the forest during her busy season because he didn’t want to be around the steady flow of strangers, perhaps they could arrange a system that shortly before his transformation, on the nights of the new moon, he could sneak into her bedroom window, which she would leave open for him, and then he could sneak out again after dawn, leaving none of her guests aware of his presence. That was a compromise he would probably be willing to accept considering his drive for shelter during his human nights would most likely override any embarrassment he might feel over the perceived impropriety of him spending the night in her room. On the other hand, such a notion might not even bother him at all, and she was the only one making a fool of herself with her racing hormones.

Down girl… she scolded herself lightly, deciding it was definitely best to hold off voicing this particular concern, and her possible solution, until after he brought it up. One day at a time.

Of course, it didn’t take long for the days to blend into weeks, and the weeks into months. After the departure of that one young couple, Inuyasha regained temporary possession of his chosen bedroom in her home, as things went back to ‘business as usual’ throughout the rest of the summer. A few scattered times in autumn she had another guest or two, and again Inuyasha disappeared at those times, though he always remained close enough to the property that she could feel his presence, finding peace of mind in the fact that he hadn’t truly left. He adopted a ritual similar to the kitsune, steering clear of her property whenever other humans were around, and though she assured him that he didn’t have to do it, she appreciated his reasoning once he explained to her how he just didn’t want to risk tarnishing her reputation, if any of her other guests ever realized he wasn’t human and word spread that she willfully harbored youkai. That could ruin her. While she wasn’t quite as worried about such a possible outcome as he was, Kagome truly appreciated the fact that he was concerned for her well being in that regard. While humans with spiritual powers were few and far between, if somebody else who could sense youki ever happened to be a guest at her inn, they would recognize his demonic nature instantly, even if he had stayed locked in his room out of sight. Heading into the woods was definitely the safest choice. Even though he tried to stay within Kagome’s sensing range, her spiritual powers were very strong, so another spiritual human probably wouldn’t be able to feel him at that distance, and even if they could, feeling a faint hint of youki out in the forest was natural, and wouldn’t put Kagome’s reputation on the line.

Of course, she absolutely refused to take no for an answer when she invited him into town on Halloween, the risk of bumping into another spiritual human be damned. Truly, miko and houshi with any measurable powers were few and far between, and most of them lived in or around shrines and temples. Kagome was fairly certain that she was the only local miko of her little skiing community, so the risk was minimal, and eventually, Inuyasha relented. He was glad he did.

Inuyasha was familiar with the Western holiday, and had taken advantage of it in the past to walk the streets without worry, but this year was the first time he’d ever truly experienced the fun of the holiday for himself, as he went with Kagome into town and experienced his first Halloween party, one of the local bars hosting a costume contest. Deciding to wear his fire-rat robes, Tetsusaiga hanging proudly on his hip, he was quite the sight to see walking along side Kagome, who was dressed in a traditional blue yukata, but with a fake kitsune tail fastened to the back of it, and a pair of acrylic fangs adhered to her human canine teeth. While Inuyasha didn’t join the costume contest – that hardly seemed fair, plus he didn’t want to invite the humans to look upon him too closely – he had a good time dancing to the club music with Kagome. He had heard that type of music before, had observed that type of dancing before, during the few human nights he had spent walking the streets of Shibuya, but never before had he participated in such a thing. In this small city, at this small club, there were no ‘bouncers’ working the door, and the employees all seemed to know Kagome. Nobody asked to see his ID, even as she bought them both drinks at the bar. When he tried to protest, saying how she didn’t need to be wasting her money on him like that when he knew she had to keep a tight budget, she waved off his concerns. Halloween was in the budget, she assured him, and while it was true that her tab would be twice as much as it usually was, he was going to save her so much money on not having to hire a gardener to trim the dead branches off her sakura trees come winter that she could definitely afford to buy him a few drinks.

That was the first time she’d made any direct comment to the fact that he would definitely still be with her come winter time, despite it being her busy season. Already he had been with her for two months and now he was guaranteed at least another two. Word hadn’t been said about the sakura trees since the first day she’d handed him her to-do list. Now he realized that she’d known that task would have to wait until winter all along. She had since purchased new wood for him to repair the roof of her garden shed, which he had taken care of already, wanting to be sure it was done before the first snowfall. He had deliberately not said anything about the trees because he hadn’t wanted to risk hurrying along his time with her if it was truly limited, and so instead, he’d spent his days helping her with everyday things, such as cleaning and weeding and hunting. Her freezer had yet to run out of rabbit meat since he’d moved in, and never again had she been forced to prepare the meat, either. He also brought her fresh fish on occasion, not that the quality in the local markets were lacking, but he looked at it as a way to save her some money. True, most of their food came from her garden, but some things, such as rice and noodles and tofu, she obviously had to buy, and if he was eating her food, he was costing her money. He could run at speeds beyond her imagination, and so even though there was no ‘local’ river for fishing, from a human’s perspective, he could travel to the nearest one and back in less than an hour, the ‘catch of the day’ secured in the satchel slung over his shoulder.

To know now that she did indeed intend for him to still be with her come winter, despite it being her busy season, gave Inuyasha a warm feeling inside, realizing that she wasn’t going to kick him out. Even though he was still unsure what they were going to do about his human nights, he wasn’t worried, for once having faith that it would all work out without needing to have a plan in advance. Perhaps it was the slight buzz he felt tingling in his body, his half human status making him much more sensitive to alcohol than a full-blooded youkai would be, but in that moment Inuyasha decided to boldly point out how the sakura trees weren’t the only chore he’d yet to get to from her original list.

“And then come spring, once the blossoms die out and your lingering guests all leave for the season, I can get to painting the outside of the inn like you wanted.”

He hadn’t really been putting that one off. She still hadn’t bought the paint yet. The fact that he’d still been undecided about whether or not he would even still be living with her come spring was a minor detail that was conveniently forgotten in that moment as he made mention of the last to-do item from the list.

Kagome merely nodded, confirming her solid belief in the fact that he would, in fact, still be living with her come the end of her busy season. Then the miko furrowed her brow, as though she were trying to concentrate on something. She wasn’t really drunk, but she was clearly buzzed, and for some reason he found her extra adorable in that moment.

“What is it?” he asked her playfully.

“I can’t think of anything else for you to do after that. I’m out of fake reasons for you to stay.” she admitted, her eyes widening when her sober-enough mind instantly realized precisely what she’d said.

He merely chuckled, even as her scent spiked mildly with apprehension.

“I don’t need any ‘fake’ reasons to stay with you, Kagome. What’s the real reason?” he asked her, his mirth unwavering.

Sighing, and offering him a shy smile, the miko admitted, “‘Cause I want you to.”

“Then, I’ll stay.” he assured her, his tone coming off with a strange vibe of finality.

The way she looked up at him in that moment, genuine happiness reflected in her stormy gray-blue eyes, Inuyasha felt the sudden urge to lean forward and kiss her, though he quickly got control of himself, blaming the alcohol and his weak human emotions as he silently cursed himself for the near fatal tactical error.

Over the last two months, he had found himself growing to care for Kagome immensely, but he was convinced she didn’t see him the same way. Sure, he wasn’t blind, and he understood what her occasional flustered moments around him meant, like the time she accidentally saw him shirtless as he’d been doing his laundry. He could only imagine her reaction had she walked in on him completely naked. Mentally, he chuckled at the memory. So okay, she was unarguably attracted to him. He would admit that his body wasn’t that bad to look at, if you discounted the various things that branded him as a hanyou, and she was a young, healthy woman who hadn’t been with a man in nearly seven years. It would have been odd for her to not find him attractive. Well no, that wasn’t really true; the fact that she wasn’t disgusted by his youkai blood…that was stranger, no doubt about it. But still, physical attraction and emotional attachment were two entirely different things, and he didn’t dare to hope that she could actually come to think of him that way, and honestly, he wasn’t even sure if he was ready to give another relationship a try, anyway. It wasn’t so much that he was still damaged from Kikyou’s words, but more so that Kikyou’s words had been true. He was a half-breed, he was a freak of nature, and Kagome had already confessed that one of her deepest desires was to be a mother. While she believed it was becoming too late for her to have that type of a life, he disagreed. He didn’t think she was too old to find herself a husband. The right guy would come along, one day, but not if she involved herself with a creature of youkai blood. Human society at large, they considered sleeping with a youkai a form of bestiality, and kami forbid she got pregnant. He was sure her dreams of having a ‘family’ didn’t include a pack of white-haired crossbreeds. So he avoided the potential disaster by quickly turning his head and taking another sip of his beer, pretending the ‘moment’ had never existed.

As for Kagome, she was mentally kicking herself for having gotten her hopes up. She could have sworn it looked as though Inuyasha was about to kiss her, but she supposed she was just getting a little too buzzed for her own good. Quickly letting it go, she too took another sip of her drink, though she mentally vowed that it would be her last one of the evening.

The rest of the night went by without awkwardness, as they each easily slipped back into the comfortable friendship that had unarguably developed between them. While Inuyasha was hesitant to even dare fantasize about Kagome becoming anything more than a friend, he could throw the ‘friend’ word itself around without regret, both mentally and aloud. He’d already told Kagome how she’d completely obliterated his ‘no friends’ policy because she knew what he was, and therefore, he had no reason to want to hide anything from her. She was his friend…honest and truly…and he could admit that to both of them without a single trace of regret or apprehension. Now, whether or not she would ever become more than a friend…

No! She deserves a normal life with a normal husband…he reminded himself as he and Kagome headed outside, ready to call it a night.

Still, that didn’t mean he couldn’t think of her as his best friend.

Kagome was just reaching into her sagemono for her cell phone, to call a taxi, when Inuyasha’s clawed hand gently cupping her own had her heart leaping up into her throat, as she raised questioning eyes to meet his own mildly unsure gaze.

“Walk with me?” he asked her, and swallowing thickly, she nodded.

They walked together in silence for a couple of minutes until Inuyasha veered away from the sidewalk, heading down a dark alley.

“This way.” he said with an unmistakably playful glint to his voice, and so feeling curious rather than nervous, she followed.

Once they were safely out of sight from any other passing humans, Inuyasha crouched down before her. “Hop on.” he instructed. Best friends accepted each other fully, and if there was ever going to be any chance of Kagome thinking of him as her best friend in return, then she had to accept him fully. While he’d told her many things…seeing was believing.

Scrunching her brow, for an instant the miko thought to protest. She could walk on her own, thank you very much, not to mention the fact that she was wearing a yukata at the moment. But the playfulness, the…hopefulness…in his voice…somehow, Kagome knew this was much more than him merely trying to offer her a ‘ride’ home. So, against her better judgment, she stole a quick glance around their surroundings, and once she determined that they were in fact alone and nobody was going to witness whatever it was he had planned, she fiddled with her robe, loosening her skirt enough to pull the flaps to the sides, exposing her legs and enabling her to wrap them around his back. It was a little embarrassing, ‘mounting’ him as though he were a horse, especially with the only barriers between them being his own robes and her panties, but she had to admit, it didn’t feel as awkward as she’d thought it would to feel herself settled on top of him. He then hooked his hands underneath her legs in a rather intimate fashion and asked her if she was ready.

Ready for what?

Whatever it is…I’m ready… she decided, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

“Ready.”

He launched them onto the roof of the building they had been standing beside. Kagome was so surprised and exhilarated that she forgot to scream, which was just as well since she quickly realized that she would not want to draw attention to themselves as he leapt from rooftop to rooftop. They were literally flying over the small town…and then, they were in the trees, as he sprung them from branch to branch. The bottom half of her robe fluttered behind them like a cape, but they were moving much too fast for her to be worried over anyone catching a glimpse of something they shouldn’t see. Truly, their entire beings were something that nobody should be allowed to catch a glimpse of, a woman riding upon a youkai, flying through the forest, but now that they were among the trees, there was no risk of anyone spotting them, save for the random drunken couple who had sought the shelter of the woods for a private encounter, and they would be too preoccupied in each other to notice anything out of the ordinary.

Once they were far enough away from civilization to not have to worry about being heard, Kagome cried out, though instead of a scream of terror, it was a hoot of joy that burst from her lips, as she cried out “Whoo hoo!” while he raced them across the treetops. Smirking to himself, Inuyasha relished in the sensation of Kagome pressed so intimately against him. But this wasn’t a perverted act, and he would not allow his mind to take him in such a direction. He’d just wanted to show off some of his youkai abilities, and from the reaction of the girl upon his back, he would say it’d been a wise decision. There was not a single trace of fear anywhere to be had in Kagome’s scent as she continued to whoop and holler as he raced from tree to tree. Reaching even greater heights, Inuyasha launched them as far up as his muscles could take them, soaring a good two hundred feet above the trees. The sensation of Kagome releasing her grip on his shoulders had him instinctively tightening his hold on her legs, for fear that she’d somehow lost her balance, but he had no worry that she would fall knowing that he had her and would never drop her. Catching their shadow in the moonlight, Inuyasha was awestruck as he realized Kagome shared his sense of security with his own abilities. She had not released her hold of him because her hands had slipped. Her arms were stretched outward at her sides, her head tilted back slightly as she fully engulfed herself in the sensation of flying.

Nearing her property, Inuyasha was reluctant for this moment to come to an end, though he knew they couldn’t just run around all night long. She needed her sleep, after all, and it was already well beyond her usual bedtime.

“We’re coming in for a landing!” he told her then, yelling over the roar of the wind zipping by their faces.

Opening her eyes, which she’d closed only in bliss and to keep the wind from tearing them up, Kagome spotted her inn almost immediately, but part of her wanted to tell him to keep going for a while longer. Still, she knew she didn’t want to risk taking advantage of him, even though she suspected he wouldn’t mind the request. He was having just as much fun as she was, she could tell, but the truth was that she did need to get to bed. Leaning forward then, she wrapped her arms back around his shoulders, gripping him securely once more, which Inuyasha was silently grateful for since he knew it might be a tad jarring for her as they landed. Hitting the ground, Inuyasha immediately broke into a run to absorb the impact, and the sensation was not as jostling for Kagome as he had worried, as he then came to a stop and straightened, allowing her to slide down from his back. Knowing her yukata was undoubtedly in disarray, he surprised but pleased her by not immediately turning to face her, as she quickly worked to straighten her robes, saving them both from a potentially embarrassing moment. After less than a minute, her voice thanking him for a lovely evening had him knowing it was safe to turn around.

Hair more than a little unkempt, and robes still crooked – though preserving her modesty well enough – Kagome had never looked more beautiful to him than she did in that moment. And was she suddenly getting closer? Was she lowering her eyelids?

“You’re…uh, you’re welcome.” he answered lamely, heat rushing to his face though she couldn’t see his blush in the low moonlight as he quickly turned away and opened the door for her.

Silently entering the house, Kagome left her sandals in the genkan, which had remarkably stayed on her feet throughout their journey, and having allowed Inuyasha to go barefoot as part of his ‘costume’, she said nothing as he silently wiped the bottoms of his feet to the best of his ability against his pant legs before following her inside.

“Goodnight, Inuyasha.” she bid softly before heading down the hall to her bedroom.

“Goodnight.” he called after her, his heart still pounding heavily in his chest, matching the rapid beating of her own heart, which he could still hear even from all the way down the hall. He tried to tell himself that her reaction was only from the run, but he knew better. He hadn’t missed the way she’d almost kissed him for a second there after thanking him for the evening. Maybe taking her for a run hadn’t been a good idea, after all. Heading quietly into his bedroom, he cursed the alcohol for a second time. Twice in one night they had almost kissed, and both times he had been the one to stop it from happening. True, back at the bar he had also been the one who’d initiated the near-kiss in the first place, and it must not have gone unnoticed to the miko if she had turned around and tried to rekindle what had sparked for a second between them. So much for convincing himself that she didn’t have any romantic feelings for him.

No more booze… he thought with a nod of finality, crawling into bed with worries for what awkwardness tomorrow might bring.

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As Kagome lied in bed, once again staring unblinkingly up at the ceiling, one thought continually echoed in her head above all others.

She had feelings for Inuyasha.

And even more than that, she heavily suspected that he had feelings for her, in return. So what did that mean? Where did it leave them? He hadn’t spoken much of Kikyou since that first moonless night, but they’d had enough private talks since that night for her to know that he had never cared for another woman since her. He had never allowed himself to care for another woman since her. He’d told Kagome once, upon confessing that he truly did think of her as a friend, that the only reason he always tried to keep himself locked away inside was because of society’s view of his kind. When you were secretly a monster having to hide what you were among the normal humans of the world, it was kind of hard to grow truly close to anyone else, and Kagome could easily understand that. But with her, it was different. With her, he didn’t have to hide what he was. He didn’t really want to be a loner.

While she hadn’t been the first, by a long shot, to recognize that he was of demonic blood from the instant she’d met him, Kagome had been the first to exude an attitude of indifference with regard to that knowledge. She had been the first to not immediately narrow her eyes at him and demand that he move on, leaving her be. He’d experienced every kind of rejection under the sun, from people being terrified of him, fearfully begging for him to leave them in peace, to outright threats that he had better be gone before they called the taijiya in to ‘take care’ of him, but never…never had he met someone, young woman or otherwise, who had known that he was a youkai but had then proceeded to tell him that he was still welcome. That they did not hate or fear good youkai, which they could tell that he was.

After accepting the milestone that was Kagome’s acceptance of him, Inuyasha had immediately begun fearing what her reaction would be to learning that he was truly a hanyou, terrified of losing what little acceptance he’d found. Surely even someone who was okay with youkai as a whole would still not approve of mixing the races, right? But Kagome had surprised and delighted him a second time with her continued acceptance of him yet again, first learning of his human blood, and then of his human transformations. He’d even confessed to her one night that he could also transform into a bakemono, his youkai blood rising to the surface and overpowering his human heart and mind, though he’d also assured her that it only happened under extreme circumstances, and that it was not something that would ever happen on a whim. Kagome still accepted him.

As she continued to think about him, about the half inu-youkai man currently in the room just down the hall from her own, Kagome found that she could not think of him as a ‘monster’ no matter how hard she tried. He was a man; a kind, sweet, lonely man who’d been dealing with the short end of the stick for far too long. But she did not truly pity him. She admired him, his strength…she didn’t honestly think that she would have been able to survive for as long as he had were she in his place. She also didn’t find his demonic qualities a turn off, were she to be frank. Truth be told, she thought his silver hair and amber eyes were ethereal and mysterious. She found him extremely handsome. She wasn’t afraid of his claws or fangs, and those ears? Kagome couldn’t believe she’d actually managed to go for two whole months without molesting them again even once! Several times over the last eight weeks she’d found herself itching to touch them a second time, especially since that one tweak after his first human night had been so brief she could barely even remember what they felt like, but she didn’t want to risk making him feel uncomfortable, knowing that he was sensitive about the appendages that branded him as a crossbreed, and so she let it go unmentioned.

As their conversation from earlier at the bar replayed itself in her mind, as she’d confessed to merely wanting him to stay with her, and his subsequent agreement to stay simply because she wanted him to, Kagome could not stop the butterflies that started swirling in her stomach. No longer was there the worry over whether or not he’d leave once her busy season picked up. Yes, he might stick to the forests for a few months while all three of her guest rooms were full night after night, but then once the snow melted and her guests departed he’d be back.

Now the only question that remained was in what capacity would he be staying with her? As her friend? As a roommate, perhaps? Or something more?

Everything in life happens as it is meant to, but what if you’re meant to intervene, and merely sitting around waiting for something to happen without trying to make it happen only means that it won’t happen at all?

Worrying her bottom lip, Kagome remembered Inuyasha telling her how his old Buddhist friend had taught him the belief of all things happening for a reason, and that all things happened as they were meant to. But did that really mean that you were just supposed to sit back and watch? After all, there was still such a thing as free will. Though the kami might show us the path they wished for us to take, Kagome truly believed that it was up to us to open any doors that might be blocking our way. She already knew, had she not extended her invitation for Inuyasha to remain, he would have been gone that third morning, and she would have almost definitely never seen him again, probably for the rest of her life. Though he had since told her that he had already wanted to stay, himself, even before her invitation, he’d also admitted that he wouldn’t have said anything about it, he wouldn’t have dared. Too many life lessons learned the hard way. So it’d been up to her, and her alone. She had been gifted the opportunity, but it had been up to her to act accordingly, and to seize the gift for what it was. Everything happened as it was meant to, yes, but she had been meant to ask him to stay with her. So now, as she continued to gaze up at her ceiling, Kagome realized that once again the choice was hers to make, and she knew she was prepared to intervene again, for both their sakes.



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