InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Cloud Watching ❯ Making amends for the past - part two ( Chapter 13 )

Love has its own time,

its own season,

and its own reasons from coming and going.

You cannot bribe it or coerce it or reason it into staying.

You can only embrace it when it arrives

and give it away when it comes to you.

--Kent Nerburn

Making amends for the past

Part two

By Melissa Spoula

Inuyasha stared at Kikyo. Her soft features brightened and she gave him a small smile. Kikyo stepped down into the water that reached to her waist. She slowly waded her way to the shore. Coming up to the rocks, she reached her hand out to Inuyasha in a gesture for help. Inuyasha still too shocked to do anything but stare made no move to help her up.

Kikyo withdrew her hand with a sad smile. She lifted her self up over the rocks and onto the shore. "Have I made you so afraid of me that you will no longer touch me?" Inuyasha unconsciously took a few steps backward. Kikyo shook her head at his actions and began to straighten her miko outfit. "How can you be like this? The last time I saw you, you were so…."

Kikyo lifted her head and once again smiled at him. "I was very angry, full of rage and hate. I hurt you….." Kikyo looked down at the ground trying to hide the tears that formed in her eyes. Seeing this snapped Inuyasha out of his stupor. "Kikyo, this is all my fault. Please don't blame yourself." Kikyo raised her head to meet his gaze. "No Inuyasha it is as much my fault as it is yours. What happened in our past was a result of my inexperience in life and our mistrust of each other. But we can't change the past now can we?"

Kikyo sat down in the grass and patted the ground next to her. Inuyasha sat down a few feet away ready to jump back any moment. He was still not sure if this was a trap or not. Kikyo wrapped her arms around her knees and looked up to the sky. The two sat there in silence, Kikyo watching the sky and Inuyasha watching Kikyo. Finally Inuyasha spoke. "Is it because of her soul that you're like this?"

Kikyo turned her head to look at him. "We share the same soul and yet we're so different form each other. You see the difference don't you?" Inuyasha shook his head. "When she first came here I didn't want anything to do with her. She looked like you and smelled like you and I was still so angry with you. But the more time I spent with her I saw that you are two very different people." Inuyasha relaxed a little. Why was she talking about Kagome in such a warm way?

"While I waited for you to come I had time to think about a lot of things." Said Kikyo looking at the sky again. "About you and me, about what happened between us. Mostly I thought about how I, myself have changed in the few days I've had her soul in me. I don't know how or why but she sees things I never could. Maybe it's because she's five hundred years ahead of me. She's lived more lives than I have. Maybe it's because she was not raised as a miko. Or maybe it's because she was born with the pure Shikon no Tama in her. Maybe its all three." Kikyo turned her gaze down to the grass beneath her feet.

"Since I have had her soul in me I've been filed with life again and the anger I felt for you has melted away. But….. still I can't be happy. I've been able to honestly look at all the things I did in my life. Both while I was alive and after my rebirth. I've done horrible things and I don't know how to make them right." Tears fell from her eyes again.

Inuyasha felt the need to hold her and comfort her somehow. He held back only because he knew he still had to get Kagome's soul back. What was happening now was like a dream. Here he sat, just as he had fifty years ago, beside the sad and sweet miko. The only difference between their past conversations and the one they were having now was that this one was going to end in Kikyo's death. The thought of having to kill the reborn miko brought him back to the reality of the situation.

"Maybe we can still make things right. You just need to let go of Kagome's soul. You'll go back to the way you were but…." Kikyo shook her head slowly. "You don't understand. Her soul is the only thing keeping me alive now that my anger is gone. I can't let it go any more than you can tell your heart to stop beating." Kikyo stood up and looked down at Inuyasha. "But, I know the only way to set things right is to give back what I stole from her."

Inuyasha stood and move slightly closer to her. "I guess I just wanted you to see me like this. I wanted you to remember me as I was and not what I had become." Kikyo move to stand only a few inches away from him. She placed her hands on his waist. Inuyasha didn't touch her but leaned his forehead to hers. "Kikyo, I'm sorry things ended like this, I really am."

Kikyo moved her hands up to her chest. She leaned her head up slightly so her nose touched Inuyasha's "Do you think you could hold me one last time? Just once more?" Inuyasha said nothing but wrapped his arms around her back and hugged her tightly to himself. He lowered his face and kissed her softly in one last goodbye.

And that was when he felt something hard against his chest. Looking down he saw Kikyo's hands tightly clenched around the emerald dagger. They were covered in blood and the dagger itself was buried deeply in her chest. She looked up at him. She still had a smile on her face. She pulled the dagger out and slumped against him.

Inuyasha cradled her in his arms and lowered her to the ground. Kikyo opened her eyes and looked up at him. "I knew you couldn't do it. So I did." Kikyo closed her eyes for the last time and the dagger she held fell form her hand making no noise as it hit the ground. As soon as her life left her, her body of dirt and clay crumbled into nothing, leaving Inuyasha alone.