InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Cross Roads ❯ Hold on to Yourself ( Chapter 1 )

Cross-Roads

Chpt.1 - Hold onto Yourself

One leap brought him five-hundred years into the future, his nose told him so.

A sneeze tore from his unsuspecting lungs. Damn place smelled worse than a thousand sweating humans in the burning summer sun. And yes, he did have the experience to make that comparison; one July afternoon spent in the vicinity of Kaede's village was enough to scar his sensitive nose forever. Someone should set to the city and start over, it was that bad. Keh, he was pretty sure that not even fire could clear this stench…

Focus! He was here for a reason, Kagome, and he would not be detoured. Another scent floated past his nostrils, much ore pleasant than the rancid air could ever hope to be. It was her, and she was close. Sniffling again, he frowned in puzzlement at the feed-back he was receiving. For her to be that close she couldn't be inside the house…

Creep to the wood panel, pull it open slowly and check the grounds- no use getting sat for being careless. There were no visitors to the shrine today, good. He was little more than a streak of red as he shot out the door.

There. His eyes found her immediately. There she was, leaning against the god tree with the strangest expression on her face. It was so.. blank, just like Kikyo.

Of course he had to call out to her, get her to stop day-dreaming and focus on more important things… him, for example. "Oi, bitch!"

Such a greeting was enough to earn him a heavy sigh on good days or, on bad days, a glare or, shudder, firm sit. But neither came. She hardly took the time to glance in his direction before letting her eyes grow blank again.

InuYasha fumed. Where did she get off thinking she could ignore him like that and get away with it? Maybe it was the demon blood flowing through his veins that demanded respect, but he felt himself growing angry at the insult. So, in exchange for his injured pride, he lashed out with a string or words harsh enough to guaranteed him a sit.

"What the hell are you doing? Sitting on your ass when there are shards to collect? Keh, typical." He walked towards her, stopping on the outside of the little white fence surrounding the tree. Still, she did nothing to acknowledge his presence, although he was giving his best glare.

This was getting ridiculous. He hadn't done anything yet and she was already mad. Well, save his previous comment, but she had no right to get so pissy over it when she had been ignoring him in the first place. Idiot girl, what was she thinking. "That means get off your ass and get your stuff together so we can get going, or are you too slow to figure that out?" Flinching slight, he prepared himself for the 'sit' that was sure to follow. None came.

He glanced up, watching her curiously. She was still staring straight ahead, dead pan look in place. Taking a slight sniffle of her scent, he detected something underlying and out of place, be he couldn't place it. Shuffling a few steps forward, he hopped the small fence easily ad stared down at her. "What's wrong with you, Kagome?" He wondered, voice still gruff so as not to betray the concern and tinge of fear rushing through his system.

"Inu-Yasha, hello. I was wondering when we'd see you again."

That voice belonged to Kagome's mother and said woman was coming across the shrine grounds towards them. She wore a green traveling coat and a somber expression so different from her usual smile that he flinched visibly. Higurashi-san had heard him shouting at her daughter, calling her names, and had come outside to lecture him until his ears rang. The sweetness in her tone was just a pretense humans like to use, but he wasn't fooled. He'd never seen the woman angry and, honestly didn't want to. But there was no avoiding it now, he set his ears back in anticipation.

There was no screaming or cried from upset mothers. On the contrary, she forced a smile as her eyes met his. He could plainly see the anguish shinning beneath their surface and took a step back, nearly tripping over Kagome and the God-Tree.

"Have you come to take Kagome back with you?"

All he could manage was a helpless nod; damn the way upset women effected him.

Her smile wavered and her eyes closed, briefly, only to reflect a new depth of fear when they opened. "You'll have to wait a little, I'm afraid. Kagome has a doctor's appointment, we were just about to leave." How she could be so damn nice about it was beyond him; she sounded almost genuinely sorry that she'd delayed him.

"Keh, what's wrong with you?" Inu-Yasha had to turn his eyes away from the older woman, opting instead to glare down the miko leaning against the tree. A slight tingle of apprehension began to wash up and down his spine, making him jittery, but he fought it down. "You don't smell sick." He took a discrete sniff just to make sure.

For reason unknown to him, his words caused a handful of tears to slip from Higurashi-san's eyes. InuYasha froze, horrified, and took an involuntary step back. "I don't suppose she would," she commented, wiping her face with a handkerchief. "It's not a normal illness…" Her voice wavered but she didn't start crying.

He looked down at Kagome, wondering how she could be ill without it affecting her scent in some way. "What's wrong with her?"

Kagome's mother didn't answer for a long while, but merely watched him with her handkerchief pressed to her mouth. There was so much a pain in her eyes, so much so that it reminded InuYasha of his own mother in the days before her death. He shuddered, never before had he thought such a look would cross Mrs. Higurashi's face…

"Maybe you should come with us," she finally said, trying to smile. "The doctor could explain it better than I can. Besides, you should know what's going on so you can help Kagome when she's… away."

"Keh." But despite his feigned indifference, he was touched that she would allow him, the lowly half-breed, to go anywhere with her family. Considering all he ever did was yell at her daughter and drag her back to face imminent danger in the feudal era, this was beyond amazing.

"You'll need some modern clothes, they won't let you into the hospital looking like that. I'll see what I can dig up." Her gaze wandered towards her daughter's still form and her voice became soft. "Kagome?" The raven haried girl looked up. "You should come inside and get ready too. We'll be leaving soon."

Kagome nodded and got to her feet, heading her the house. As she passed her mother, the other woman reached out and pulled her to her chest, embracing her daughter and placing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. She smiled down at her, pushing Kagome in the direction of the house before following behind her.

InuYasha had no choice but the trail behind the two woman, wondering what the hell was going on.

And that was how he'd ended up in this horrible place. The stench of the hospital made his nose crinkle in disgust. It smelt so unnatural; of spotless clean, of pain, of fear, of tears. And everything was so white, including the clothing of the people hurrying past him, that it hurt his eyes. InuYasha wanted nothing more than to be outside again where he could smell the air (even if it was tainted with smog and soot) and see the many colors of the world all around him. This place felt like a prison, and judging from Kagome's reaction to it, that was what she saw it as.

In all honesty, he couldn't see how something that smelled and felt the way this place did could make a person better. He didn't see why Kagome needed to be here at all, she seemed fine to him. If anything, being in this hospital would make her sicker than she already was, if she was actually sick to begin with. Keh, humans and their stupid ideas about medicine.

Kagome always had something to say. He never thought he'd see the day when the bright, passionate woman he quarreled with constantly would be reduced to something so… un-Kagome-likee. She could have been dead for all the emotions she was showing; hell, he could have mistaken her for Kikyo had the air he was breathing not been filled with her scent. That particular sense proved to be the most useful- his nose could pick-up the whirlwind of terror that wrapped around her body despite her stoic mask. Kagome never bothered hiding her emotions before, so why was she doing so now? The smell of her fear alone made him light-headed, he could only imagine what effect it was having on her.

Inu-Yasha tried to shake it off, glowering at a passing man to help vent his frustration. The wench was acting weird, had been ever since he'd appeared through the well…

A sound, loud and urgent, echoed down the white hallway, making his ears perk under the knit cap he wore. It was many feet pounding against the hard floor, combined with voices yelling out commands and the squeaking protest of four wheels.

"Has the sedative kicked in yet?"

"Yes doctor."

"Good. Keep that wound compressed, Akira, and watch the monitor. We don't want her flat-lined before we can get him to ICU. Jin?"

"Here."

"Get me another I.V., it'll be impossible to do this operation if there's no fluid in her."

"Yes doctor."

InuYasha watched in morbid fascination as the wheeled-bed rolled towards him. There was a child on it, laying covered by a light blanket. Straps kept her from falling off as the object rushed forward and other objects were attached to various parts of her body. The scent of blood wafted in the air, catching him by surprise. The girl was hurt, barely alive and bleeding from deep gash to the chest.

"InuYasha!" It was the first time Kagome had spoke to him all day. She hissed his name, grabbing the hand nearest to hers and pulling him backwards so he was pressed against the cold wall. "Do you want to get run-over?" She demanded, glaring, as the metal bed and people dressed in white rushed past them. He noticed that while she refused to look straight at him, she prohibited her eyes from even glancing towards the little convoy.

He shook his head and indifferently stuck his nose into the air, secretly watching her from the corner of his eye. Was she going to yell at him some more? He wanted her to, because it would make everything normal and they wouldn't have to be stuck in this horrible white prison.

But she didn't say another word. When the dying child and her noisy procession had passed, she stepped away from the wall and continued walking. Kagome still held his hand, probably not realizing she was doing so, and her grip on it increased as they made their way down the hall, as did the tremors wracking her body.

A slight frown crossed InuYasha's face, but he banished it before anyone could see his worry. Why was she trembling? Was she scared? A discrete sniff in her direction confirmed his speculation; Kagome was terrified. But why? Stupid idiot, didn't she know he would protect her? InuYasha tightened his hand around hers, giving it a gentle squeeze.

When the girl glanced up, surprise written across her face, he feigned arrogance and glanced away. He did catch the small smile the graced her lips and inwardly smirked at his accomplishment.

A woman met the outside the room, plump and smiling with the red hair. InuYasha tried not to stare, but it was pretty damn hard. He'd never seen a human with hair the color of Shippou's. Kagome's time sure was weird…

The lady was friendly, greeting Mrs. Higurashi and Kagome before explaining that she had to take Kagome to get a few more tests run before the doctor could see her. InuYasha did not want Kagome out of his sight, especially not when she was so obviously scared. His hand tightened around hers in protest, a silent growl working it's way up from his chest.

A combination of Kagome's appreciative smile and Mrs. Higurashi's hand on his arm convinced him to let go. "She'll be back in a couple of minutes, InuYasha," Mrs. Higurashi assured him as she watched her daughter being led away. "Come inside and we'll talk to her doctor."

Sure enough, an older man dressed in a white outfit greeted them inside. He got to his feet and approached Kagome's mother, shaking her hand as they exchanged greetings. "And who is this?" The man wondered, raising an eye in InuYasha's direction, making him feel out of place and unwanted.

"A close friend of Kagome's. It's perfectly alright to talk in front of him."

"Of course," the old man replied in an off-hand type of way, but he was still eyeing InuYasha distrustfully. "Please, have a seat." He gestured to a couch near the oaken desk he had been seated in.

They complied, somewhat stiffly, and waited for the doctor to finish shuffling through his files and face them.

"We've received the results of Kagome's tests and my colleges and I have reviewed thoroughly."

Tests? Is this what Kagome meant when she came running back to her time? Why the hell would she want to come to a place like this?

"We're confident in out diagnosis, Higurashi-san, but you're entitled to a second opinion if you'd like one."

"I understand," she replied, watching the man anxiously. "The tests… what did they show?"

He sighed, looking sad. "They've confirmed what I suspected from the start. Your daughter has cancer."

The unspeakable grief that flooded Mrs. Higurashi made InuYasha start. His face swung towards hers, stiffening as he watched her shoulders slump and a completely crushed expression cross her face and dull her eyes. A hand flew up to cover her mouth as she breathed in shakily, obviously trying very hard not to cry. Despite the threatening tears, he couldn't tear his gaze from her eyes, filled with terror and a sense of… failure? That had to be the strangest thing because he had always remembered Mrs. Higurashi's eyes to be gentle and smiling, even when he came to drag her daughter back to face imminent danger in the feudal era.

"I'm sorry."

Sniffling again, Mrs. Higurashi forced a smile. "Please, continue."

"This is standard procedure when dealing with minors. We inform the parent and let them decide how to break the news to their child. It's a life-changing announcement, I'm sure you realize, and different children react differently to such news. A child might resent hearing this from a doctor while another would rather have it that way. You know Kagome best, it's up to you to decide how she should hear of this."

Silence prevailed in the room before Kagome's mother finally spoke up. "I wouldn't be able to tell her such a thing," she answered finally, sounding heartbroken. "Does that make me a bad parent?"

"No, not at all," the man replied. "Personally, I believe its better for a child to hear of their disease from a doctor, it gives more authority. Now, I'd like to go over some details of Kagome's condition before she returns."

It was all gibberish, InuYasha couldn't understand a word of what the doctor was say. Occasionally, he'd pick up something familiar like 'stomach' or 'blood', but any attempt to string them together into something logical was futile. After a while, he stopped listening and let his thoughts wander to the disturbing problem at hand. The thing that bothered him most was the fact that he hadn't the slightest clue what was going on.

They'd came to this strange building because Kagome was sick. Said girl had been trembling uncontrollably before that red-headed woman took her away and now Mrs. Kagome, a woman who's smile he'd never seen falter, was reduced nearly to tears. And Kagome had kanser, whatever that was.

Worry began to flood his system, because whatever was going on was obviously serious. The way the people around him were reacting was proof enough. He got the sinking feeling that something was wrong with Kagome, something he couldn't control or make better.

The doctor person had turned off the lights while he'd been thinking and was now explaining a black and white picture posted on a glowing wall. It looked to be a jumble of squiggles and white blobs, but that man claimed it was Kagome's stomach.

"Oi, I've got a question." InuYasha announced, startling the doctor and Mrs. Higurashi. The older woman looked a him curious before slightly guilty expression crossed her face. He'd been so quiet during the discussion that she'd forgotten he was there.

Gathering his wits, the doctor nodded in his direction.

"What the hell is this kanser?"

***************

"Sit down here, dear, and we'll get this over with as soon as possible."

Kagome obeyed, shuffling onto the examination table as she watched the nurse bustle around the room. She liked her already, there was something about her presence that brightened the room. Feeling depressed around such a person felt wrong, somehow, so she forced herself to return the woman's smile even though it felt like her entire wold was about to come tumbling down.

"How have you been since I last saw you?" The nurse wondered. "School going okay? Friends fine?"

Nodding, Kagome continued to force herself to be cheerful. She didn't really feel like talking, but she couldn't snub this woman when she was being so polite. "School's wonderful," an all out lie, her grades were the lowest they'd even been. "And my friends…" Surprisingly, the word 'friends' brought to mind Sango, Miroku, Shippou, and the others from the past, not her girlfriends from school. "They've been fine too. It's a little boring right now, not much to do, but I'm sure that will change."

"Oh, it always does. Now, we just need to take a little blood sample this time, nothing but a prick." She explained, setting the small kit next to Kagome on the table. "Just hold out your arm, palm up. There's a good girl. This will feel a little cold."

The alcohol pad was cold, making her flinch the slightest bit, but she was getting used to such tests. She wasn't sure why her doctors kept demanding blood tests and such, because your blood couldn't really change that much in the span of a few days, right? But she wasn't about to argue.

A small ball was placed into the palm of her hand. "Pump your hand around that for a few seconds, just until I can find a vein." The nurse instructed her. "And hold…" Kagome squeezed her eyes shut as the needle slipped through her skin and into the vein below. It didn't really hurt, the feeling was just too weird. She squirmed on the examination table. "There, good job. Just relax, dear, and don't think about it. Why don't you tell me about the people that came in with you? I recognized your mama from last time, but not the young man."

"Oh, InuYasha." She replied, trying her best to follow the nurse's instructions and ignore the pulsing in her arm. A sluggish feeling passed over her body, making it hard to think, and her head was starting to spin. He'd think you were such an idiot, squirming over a little pin-prick when he's been run-through with less of a complaint.

The red-head nodded. "InuYasha… interesting name. He's a friend of yours?"

"Yeah."

"Boyfriend?" she wondered craftily.

"What? No! no…" Her head slumped down to stare at the tiles on the floor. "He doesn't think of me that way. There's someone else he feels that way about."

"Poor dear… that can change. I'm sure he feels strongly for you, after all he came with you to this appointment."

Inwardly, she smirked. InuYasha didn't even know why he was here, and judging from the look on his face when they entered the hospital he wasn't to happy about being drug along.

"… and, if you'll excuse my prying, the way he was holding your hand was very telling."

Even though I was the one who grabbed onto him first. Kagome commented mentally. He was usually like that, pretty tolerant when she let her feelings for him slip through. When, in the spur of the moment, she hugged him or latched onto his hand he'd let her, but he never returned the gesture. InuYasha wasn't against touching her, she knew, because he had no qualms about scooping her up in the heat of battle and rushing her to safety, but showing emotions was a different story. He was never affectionate with anyone, besides the dead priestess Kikyo.

Today had been different. Sure, she had grabbed onto him first, intent on pulling him out of danger when the gunny came racing down the narrow hall, and she had been the one who hadn't let go after. But he had squeezed her hand! The gesture had been protective and comforting, totally unexpected. When he refused to met her eyes afterwards and had looked away carelessly, his gestures confirmed that the action was planned and not just a fluke slip. Thinking of that made her heart flutter ever so slightly beneath the pressing burden of her fear and anxiety.

The arm in which the needle was resting gave a sharp, almost painful tingle and something soft was placed over the spot. "There you go, dear, all done." The nurse was smiling at her, a strange expression on her face as she tapped the little pad of gauze in place. "Come on, I'll take you back so you can see the doctor."

She led Kagome down the hall at a brisk pace, stopping briefly at a nurses station to present her with a donut. "The sugar make you feel better," she explained, watching as Kagome downed the thing in two bites.

"I was too nervous to eat breakfast," she lied through a mouthful of food. The truth was that, because InuYasha had an obsession with anything sweet, he surely would have stolen her sugary treat from under her nose if given the chance.

The nurse smiled kindly, still looking a little mystified, and didn't say a word until they were standing outside the doctor's office. "Good luck," she said, still smiling. "I hope your consultation goes well. And don't worry about your friend, he'll come around eventually."

Kagome felt her face flush furiously as she wondered how sound-proof the door was and whether or not InuYasha had heard, and connected, the woman's last statement. She didn't voice her concerns, thought, and merely forced another smile and a small 'thank-you' before pushing the office door open and stepping inside.

InuYasha hearing the nurse's playful comment was the least of her concerns, she realized with a jult, as the occupants of the room looked in her direction. The doctor was solemn, her mother had her handkerchief out and looked to be fighting back tears, and InuYasha looked dumbstruck. That specific combination of expression could on mean one thing for her, the world began to spin despite her donut and her knees hit the floor. "Gods… no…"

**********************

This was not happening, it couldn't be happening. Kagome was the last person on Earth that deserved something like this; hell, he hadn't known things like this kanser existed.

The doctor had been frustrated because everyone, apparently, knew about kanser, which might have been one reason why Kagome was so terrified earlier. She had a right to be, he was scared shitless at the moment.

Kanser, apparently, was a sickness that was making Kagome's body hurt itself, only from the inside. That man had launched into some lengthy discussion about little plates he called 'cells', something he claimed made up everything everywhere. InuYasha had stopped listening at the point, focusing instead on the more important facts.

The illness Kagome had contracted was deadly to humans. They didn't know much about it and while there were some ways of making it go away, they didn't always work and they could make horrible things happen. No wonder she'd been so depressed earlier, the situation really was hopeless.

It felt like he was being froze from the inside. Some type of emotion, anything, should have been running through his mind right now, but he felt nothing. Instinctively, his hand went to his side to touch the comforting hilt of his faithful sword, but remembered he'd been forced to leave it back at Kagome's shrine.

So engrossed in such thoughts was InuYasha that he didn't hear the door open or notice the change in the smell of the room brought on by Kagome's scent. He didn't realize she was there until she spoke, voice as broken as he was feeling.

His eyes focused immediately, ears perking beneath the uncomfortable cap Mrs. Higurashi had insisted he wear. There was Kagome, on her knees in the middle of the room staring blindly ahead. The mix of emotions pouring off her form made his heart break; the fear, the pain, the complete despair. He lurched to his feet, edging slowly to her side.

"Kagome?" He wondered quietly, kneeling next to her and passing his hand back and forth over her eyes.

She blinked and, before he could say a word, flames flew from her eyes and realization dawned. Kagome was a smart girl, she seemed to have figured out what they were discussing.

"Kami… I can't believe this…" she hissed, brining her hands to cover her face as if the light was painful. It was a nightmare for InuYasha, all of it, and he wanted nothing more than to escape this sickly-smelling building and pretend none of this was happening.

He couldn't stand to see her in such a state, couldn't deal with the sad, shell-shocked person that had replaced his Kagome. And, if the doctor was right, it would only be getting worse. He wasn't about to back down, though. If anyone could survive this disease it was the schoolgirl trembling on the floor before him.

Apparently, Kagome was entertaining thoughts of escape as well. If he hadn't know her so well, he probably wouldn't have caught it; the subtle flash of her eyes and the slight tensing of her arms was all the predicted her movement. Seconds before she would have bold from the room, he caught her shoulders and forced her eyes to meet his.

"Kagome." He said again, calmer this time. She flinched away, pushing at his chest insistently. InuYasha wouldn't have released her if the skin under his hands hadn't begun heating up dangerous, proof that her miko powers were engaging. That was the last thing they needed at the moment, so he let her have her space. He blocked her exit, thought, body language stating that she wasn't leaving this room. "Go sit down, Kagome. The doktor wants to talk to you."

She stared at him, disbelieving. "Sit… down…"

"Yeah." He rolled his eyes. "Don't be an idiot, just do it."

Her brown eyes narrowed and he felt her aura pulse; damn miko powers. "Do you have any idea what's going on here?" She demanded, voice raising until she was practically screaming. "Obviously not, because you wouldn't be telling me to sit down if you did!"

"This is ridiculous. Sit your ass down on that couch." He really wasn't in the mood to argue with her, didn't think he had anything left in his body that would allow him to do so, but he was determined to get her to do as that old man had asked.

"Don't tell me what to do, Inu-Yasha."

Her attitude pushed him over the edge. He snarled at her in frustration, grabbing her arm, miko powers or no, and pulling her to her feet. "You're going to do as he asked you, bitch, and you're going to do it without complaining!"

The room rang with silence after his deceleration, the doctor watching him with a horrified expression and Kagome glaring at him hatefully. She did accept his hand, however, and stomped angrily towards the couch once she was once her feet, sitting in the seat where he had sat before. With no room left on the small piece of furniture, Inu-Yasha stood behind her.

Gradually, the man behind the desk regained his composure, eyeing Inu-Yasha distrustfully before he continued on speaking. Kagome was fuming, she continued to glare at second intervals. Minutes later, her body began to slump and her anger vanished, replaced with tears and shaking. He put his hands on her shoulders, hoping to comfort her as tournaments continued to pour down her face.

That was when she began panting. Not so loud that the doctor or her mother would be aware of it, but the air rasping through her dry throat was prominent enough to be caught by his hyper-sensitive hearing. A shaking hand closed over his larger one (still resting possessively on her shoulder) and Kagome turned her flushed face towards him. She looked horrible; frightened, confused, pained, and with a million other emotions shooting through her eyes all at once.

"It's hard to breath," she whispered, completely horrified at the revelation. His hand squeezed her shoulders, comfortingly, but the panic in her expression only increased. "The air is just too thin, and everything's so hot. It's squishing me... Kami, I can't breath! InuYasha, help me! I can't..."

Her body began to shake violently and her hands left his, going instead to claw at her throat. She left red marks, five perfectly-space crescent moons, before InuYasha grabbed her hands and pinned them safely at her side.

Now, the doctor's complete attention was focused on the struggling pair. He stood, bracing his arms against his desk, and gave Kagome a quick appraisal. "It would appear she's having a panic attack," the man stated, and InuYasha wanted to rip out his throat for his calm demeanor. "It's to be expected in such a case, Higurashi-san, there's no need to worry."

Kagome's mother didn't seem comforted. She reached a hand towards the struggling girl, withdrawing it before she could touch her face. "InuYasha," his eyes flew up, meeting hers. "Take her outside, she doesn't need to hear this. I'll be out soon."

"Hai," he muttered, silently agreeing that Kagome needed to be out of this place and stepping around from behind the couch to stand before in front. He took her wrist in hand carefully. "Come on, you heard your mother." But if she heard his demand, she refused to acknowledge it. Sighing, he scooped her into his arms after a brief struggle and carried her from that cursed room. She struggled briefly, flailing her arms and crying out, but his insistent and unwavering hold soon convinced her it wasn't worth the fight. Her body relaxed into the curves of his arms, her head buried beneath his chin.

She continued to gasp for breath well down that long, white hallway: hot, frantic puffs assaulting his skin and making him shiver. "It's painful..." was her mumbled cry, repeated over and over until the words burned his ears. InuYasha tried to block her out, at least for the moment, and concentrate on the exit out of this place, but she was too damn distracting. He cursed himself for what had to be the millionth time for being so week as to be effect in such a way by one weak human, but his prideful reprimands didn't make her cried hurt any less.

"In...u...Yas..ha..." she sobbed, gripping his shirt even tighter and pushing her body flush against hers. He could hear her heart pounding in her chest, far too fast to be considered normal, which worried him. "Please..."

It was flattering, in a way, that she saw him as someone who could defeat her every fear. He'd look back on it latter and smile, maybe, but the fact that he couldn't help her this time was eating him up inside. "Keh, pull yourself together, wench." He whispered, shifting his hold on her to free on hand. Gently, he strung it through her hair as his feet continued to navigate the endless maze of hallways. "It's all you this time. Relax, you can control this."

"I can't! I can't, I'm suffocating! InuYasha!"

He cursed, having reached another dead end, and turned furiously to start back in the direction he'd come from. But a person was standing before him, the red-headed nurse from earlier, eyes fixed anxiously on Kagome.

"Sir, is there a problem?" She wondered, voice full of concern.

InuYasha bit down his usual harsh reply, forcing it back down his throat. He remembered how kind this woman had been towards Kagome earlier and commanded himself to remain cordial. "Which way's out?" He finally managed to utter.

"That door will take you to the garden," she answered immediately, pointing to a sea-green door halfway down the hall.

He nodded curtly and rushed passed her without another word.

The cool afternoon air was a pleasant shock to his system, the earthy smell of the small park slowing his heartbeat and untangling his nerves. Had he been in a more relaxed state of mind, he would have been hounding Kagome in an attempt to find out how they'd managed to get such large trees to grow on top of this enormous building. But said girl was in no position to answer questions.

A narrow, paved path wove through the flowers and trees, a path the hanyou followed until a small bench came into view. Disentangling his hysterical charge, InuYasha forced her to sit on the wooden structure and kneeled before her. "It's time for you to calm down now," he informed her, absently kneading the area of skin just above her knees. "Deep breathes, Kagome. Slow down and breath deeply..."

"I can't, I'll drown!"

Drown? He was pretty sure she meant to say suffocate, but then again it was probably all the same when a mind was in such turmoil.

"You can, damn it!" When she refused to listen, something inside him snapped and determination flashed in his eyes. His hand flew up, clamping over her mouth and nose, effectively preventing any air from reaching her lungs. He watched as her eyes widened until they were the largest feature of her face, watched as she began to struggle desperately.

"Good, now listen." InuYasha brought his face to hers, pressing in until their foreheads were touching. He still held his hand over her mouth, stopping her breath. "You're going to take deep breathes or you're not going to breathe at all, got that?" She nodded, furiously, and he was satisfied.

Kagome sucked in a breath the second her mouth was free, filling her lungs to the bursting. As the seconds mounted, her breathing was becoming dangerously erratic again and InuYasha lifted her chin, forcing her eyes to lock onto his. "Breathe deeply, Kagome. Relax. You can do it, just calm down..."

And so with the help of his firm words, the rise and fall of her chest slowly became less and less erratic. When her heart-beat had finally calmed to a reasonable rate, InuYasha sighed in relief, letting the tension flow from his body.

The moment's distraction gone, however, he was hit full-force with the awkwardness of their current situation. His face touching Kagome's, their lips centimeter appart with his hands locked in his hair. And, to make matters worse, he had somehow managed to wiggle his body into a very... indiscrete position caught between her legs.

The hanyou flushed and dove away, intent on hiding his embarrassment as he scrambled to lean against the end of the bench, as far away from Kagome as he was willing to get (which happened to be three feet). While he was busy saving his pride, the dark-haired girl was gazing off through the trees where the many sky-scrappers of Tokyo could be seen through the smog. She twisted a strand hair absently through her fingers.

"This how my father died, you know."

InuYasha turned abruptly in her direction, blush slowly vanishing from his face. "What?"

"Cancer. He got sick and he died." Her hand left her hair, reaching down instead to pluck up a blade of grass and toy with the steam. "He wasn't a good man, but mama loved him anyway. I was only little when he was still alive, but I remember the nights he'd come home drunk. Mama would tell me to stay in my room with Souta, but I still heard him scream and yell at her, throwing things against the wall and causing as much destruction as a single man could possible cause. I think he used to hit her, but mama never talks about it."

She sighed, eyes moving up to the overcast sky. "That's why I wasn't sad when he got sick. I was glad, actually, because he had to stay in the hospital all the time and was never at home to bother us. We went to see him a couple times each week and I still remember how he looked; all blotchy and thin. He lost all his hair and, eventually, wasn't even able to get out of bed on his own. And I thought he deserved it all, was sure that it was God's way of punishing him for all the evil things he had done to us over the years. And when he died... I was happy. I pretended to cry at the funeral, but inside I was smiling, nearly giddy with joy because justice had been properly dished out and the man I despised was dead."

Awestruck, InuYasha couldn't take his eyes from her. She talked to absently about this portion of her past, a portion he never thought she had, mind you, as if it were nothing. He couldn't imagine the pain she must have gone through, the pain Mrs. Higurashi must have gone through. He couldn't see how any man could commit acts that were horrible enough cause a young, innocent child to turn away from their own father in such away. But there was more, because Kagome was still speaking.

"He had the exact same type of cancer the doctors say I have now. If he got sick because he deserved it, where does that leave me?" His eyes widened at the abrupt turn in the her thoughts, already knowing where she was going with this. "I can't help but think... it's because of the Shikon that this is happening. Because I broke it, because the shards fell into the wrong hands, because people died and innocent lives were destroyed... In reality I know I deserve to die from this a thousand times more than my father did and..."

Eyes burning, the hanyou was on his feet. "What the hell is all this crap tumbling from your mouth!" He demanded. "You don't deserve to be sick and you're not going to die! That damn jewel has nothing to do with this, and even if it did it wouldn't matter because it wasn't your fault it broke in the first place!"

Her eyes were slightly wet, and he got a little twitchy when she realized she was liable to start crying at any moment. "But you said it was..." She whispered softly.

"Damn it, Kagome, since when have you listened to the shit I say?"

She looked away guilty and he realized, with a jult, that the answer to his demand was more often than she should.

There was only one way to halt this conversation before it escalated, and to do so he would have to make some sacrifices. Giving an indignant snort as a last measure of preserving his dignity, he plopped onto the bench beside Kagome, putting an arm around her shoulder and awkwardly pulling her forward onto his lap. His other hand went to her head bringing it to rest above his heart. "Listen, you little idiot." He instructed, liking the way he could feel his voice vibrate through Kagome's body. "You do not deserve to be sick. If that how it worked, I'd be six feet under a thousand times over. You didn't bring this on, it happened, just like the jewel shattering happened. Got that?"

"But..."

"Shut up, I'm not finished yet." Obediently, she closed her mouth. "Secondly, there is no way in hell you're going to die. I didn't let that damn wolf take you from me, or Sesshomaru, or Naraku, and I'm not going to lose you to some pathetic human disease."

Kagome shook her head and he was almost certain he smelled the salt of her tears. "It doesn't work that way." She said, sounding wistful. "You don't understand, InuYasha, you couldn't. It's a common fact that cancer kills people, even children know that, and you can't do anything to change that!"

"Hell I can't." He shot back, voice angry. "I'll admit I couldn't understand half the mumble-jumble pouring from that doktor's mouth, but I heard him say, clearly, that you can survive this. Other people have, so why can't you?"

"Because..."

"I said shut up! This won't kill you, and neither will that bastard Naraku. You are going to fight this like you fight him, or I'll make you!" How he was going to go about that feat he didn't know. A threat beyond that wasn't needed; he felt Kagome's mouth move against his heart and, when he looked down, saw that she was smiling.

"Thank-you, InuYasha." And her arms were around his neck and she was smiling even wider, sniffing as the last of her tears disappeared.

"Keh, what are you thanking me for?" He demanded, but tightened his grip on her waste none the less. It was nice having her this close (although that hentai monk would have a field-day harassing him over their current position if he knew about it) and a possessive serge shot through him. "Promise me that you're going to be strong and fight this, Kagome." He demanded suddenly.

His request was so sudden that she pulled back, looking curiously in his eyes. "What?"

A slight blush crept across his cheeks, but he ignored it. "I said, promise me that you'll fight this idiot disease and be strong."

She smiled again, that brilliant smile that couldn't not touch your soul. "Okay."

"Okay what?" he prompted, wanted the exact words to hold her to.

With a patient sight, Kagome grabbed his hand, fishing his pinky from the other fingers and looping it with her own. "I promise, InuYasha," she reiterated, finger still latched around his. "I'm going to be strong and fight this disease and..." a slightly mischievous smile crossed her face, "when I do, you are going to carry my pack whenever we hunt shards, got that?"

For a few seconds, he just stared, not really understanding what her pack had to do with any of this. Probably a one of those girl things he'd never understand. "Keh, I do that anyway, bitch, but fine."

"Then its a deal."

And when Kagome smiled again, nestled against his lap, she seemed genuinely happy. InuYasha forgot, almost, the seriousness of their situation or that fact that the pollution in that air around him was making his nose itch. The girl he held in his arms always had the effect on him, she could always reduced him mind to a useless mush that was capable only of focusing on her. And he vowed he wouldn't let her lose the sunny quality he (secretly) admired, not even this stupid 'kanser' would take that away.

-TBC-

Author's Note: Thanks for taking the time to read this, I'm honored, really, and apologize for the quality of this chapter. This particular idea had been pinging around in my head for the longest time and I've been working forever to get it down on paper. As any author knows, though, it didn't turn out nearly as well as I'd hoped (I've written five versions of this same chapter, yikes!), but I wanted to get it out!

So that's the deal, next chapter is already in the works, please stay tunned!!!