InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Desperation ❯ Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

 

“Damn it! Where is she?” Inuyasha growled as he paced their room.

“Calm down.” Kagome's quiet voice came from where she sat on the bed. “Fawn said it's been as long as three days for her to come back from a shift.”

“Keh, whatever,” he turned toward the window.

“Why are you so agitated?”

“Keh,” he continued his pacing.

Kagome got up and walked to him. He had stopped in front of the window. His black brows furrowed as he gazed out of it. She slipped her arms around his waist.

“You're worried, I know you are.”

Sighing he turned, looped his arms around her, and nuzzled her hair.

“Keh,” his voice was less gruff.

She pulled back a bit and lifted her head.

“Why are you so worried? We barely know her. It usually takes you longer to care about someone.”

“Are you saying I shouldn't give a shit?”

“No,” she shook her head, “nothing like that. I'm just wondering.” She gently touched his face. “You are worried though. I can feel it.”

He dropped his head a bit and his ears drooped.

“I don't know why I care.” He buried his face in her hair. “Kami Kagome, she's so broken.” His voice was muffled and strained. “More than my mother, even more than Sango after her village was destroyed.” He pulled away from her and turned back to the window. “Damn it!” He growled.

She laid her hand on his arm.

“Talk to me,” she whispered.

“My hands itch and my claws ache to kill who ever hurt her. I don't understand it. It's almost like…”

“She's pack,” Shippo's small voice came from behind them.

Inuyasha turned at the sound of his voice. Shippo was standing in the doorway to the adjoining room. A small white plush dog tucked under his arm.

The hanyou knelt down and opened his arms. The boy was across the room in a second.

“Oi, where'd you get the dog runt?” He asked with a smile as he stood.

“Mama got it for me. Do you like it? Its ears are just like yours.” He looked up with a slight nervous smile.

Inuyasha looked at the toy for a second. He nodded and tightened his arm around the little fox.

“It'll do.”

Kagome ran her hand over Shippo's hair.

“We picked it up when I took him shopping for clothes before we left.”

“I liked it because of its ears.” He hugged it. “And it's soft.” His face saddened. “Papa, is Shadara going to be okay?” He looked up at him.

“I hope so runt, I hope so.” He looked thoughtful. “What did you mean by `she's pack'?”

“I'm not sure.” He shrugged. “She just feels like family, like Aunt Sango does.” He yawned and snuggled into Inuyasha's chest. “You have to help her Papa. I don't think Mama can.”

He drifted off before they could respond.

Kagome took him from her mate and put him into bed.

“What the hell did he mean by that?” Inuyasha asked.

“When Shadara gave him back to me earlier she said something. She said that my efforts were in vain. Even though she said she was grateful for my trying to help her.” She looked up at him. “Maybe what she needs isn't another girl to talk to. She already has her pack sisters.”

“What the fuck else could she need then?”

She settled into the window seat and wrapped her arms around her knees.

“There have been times when I needed to talk to you or Miroku instead of Sango. Sometimes a girl needs a guy to talk to. Now she doesn't have a mate like I do. And she doesn't have any brothers either.”

“What's the point wench?”

“You're both warriors Inuyasha. I know that Fawn and the others fight with her. But that's not enough. She needs someone who has a true idea about what she's been through. You know what that pain is like. Of being hurt by the people of the world, because you're different.

“You know what it's like to fight with all you have.” She uncurled, came to him, and touched his face. “You can talk to her. You've seen the blood and the death.”

“I'm not sure I can do that. I'm just an asshole remember.” There was a concerned frown on his face.

“You know just as well as I do that's just a mask. Just like her being a bitch is.”

“Keh.”

“You both put it on to protect yourselves. And you know it. You're a big softy inside. She is too. Look at how she reacts to Shippo. And how broken she was this afternoon.”

“I know the runt loves her.” He was avoiding Shadara's reaction to her fight.

“You did really well in cheering her up. Before Kit got hurt that is.”

“What do you want me to do Kagome?”

“I want you to talk to her like a brother would.”

“I don't know how to be a brother.”

She gave him one of her heart warming smiles. The one she saved just for him.

“You, my mate, are a wonderful brother. Sango and Miroku have both said so.”

The look he gave her was one of utter shock.

“B-b-but I'm not their brother.”

“Yes, you are. First you were the leader of our little group. Then you were their friend. Now you're their brother, as well as our Alpha.”

A pensive look crossed his face. After a few moments he caught her eyes with his own.

“You're right.”

“You'll talk to her then?”

“Yeah, if you'll talk to her first.”

“I will.”

“What the fuck!” He growled at a flash of silver light from the back yard. They hurried to the window.

Standing in the grass was Brook, draping a black robe over Shadara's bare shoulders.

The shifter stood with her back to the house. Once she pulled the garment closed she tilted her head back. The moonlight caught her eyes, causing them to flash. She opened her mouth and a haunting howl filled the night air.

At Inuyasha's gasp Kagome turned to him.

“She's grieving,” he whispered.

“You can understand her?”

He nodded, muted in wonder, as her singing touched his heart. His expression turned determined as she walked toward the house.

“Go to her wench.”

“Aren't you coming too?” She asked as she pulled her robe over her pajamas.

“Yeah, in a few, let her know I want to talk to her.”

“Okay,” she kissed his cheek and hurried out.

Inuyasha stood looking out the window.

“What the fuck am I going to do?” He whispered to the quiet room.

 

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Kagome stood in front of Shadara's door. She was just a bit nervous about knocking. She wasn't sure what she should say or do.

Before she could dwell on it much more the door swung open.

Her hand on the door knob, looking disheveled and tired was Brook.

“Holly says to come in.” Her voice was soft and tired.

“Okay, did you `see' me standing here, or did Shadara know?”

“She knew,” Brook said with a slight smile. “Somehow she always knows.”

She pulled the door open a bit more and Kagome walked into the room. She quickly scanned the room. Though she saw the massive curtained four-poster bed, the ornately carved dressers, the art work, and the plants, they didn't catch her eye.

What did was in the right hand corner along the wall across from the door.

A large raised platform, piled high with colorful pillows. Lying in the middle of it was the silver and white unicorn. Lying against his shoulder, black hair fanned across his back, was Shadara. Her right arm was thrown over his back, her left hand wrapped in his mane, and her cheek pressed against his shoulder.

Kagome stared at the pair. She had heard the unicorn call Shadara `bonded' before she shifted. Whatever that meant was special. He was gently nuzzling her hair and her shoulder. As his lips skimmed over her they moved slightly. He was arranging and smoothing her hair. And he was purring. Purring. Though very different than a cats purr, the sound was unmistakable.

Kagome was drawn across the room by the peaceful scene. She stopped as close as she dared.

The stallion raised his head from the care of his girl. His dark purple eyes caught Kagome's chocolate ones. He seemed to look straight into her heart. He nodded once and turned back to Shadara. He nuzzled her shoulder again before speaking.

“Little one,” his voice was very deep and smooth.

“Starlight,” her silken voice was laced with exhaustion.

“Kagome is here.”

“Aye, I know,” she opened her eyes. “Hello, you may sit with us if you wish.”

Kagome looked at Starlight. She was a little nervous. He was bigger than any horse she had been around.

“I promise he doesn't bite.” She jumped at Shadara's words.

“Much,” he chuckled as he lipped her arm.

“You're going to scare her if you keep talking like that.”

Kagome smiled at their banter and sat on a dark blue pillow.

Shadara sighed and melted into Starlight's side. She cleared her mind of everything. Everything but the feel of her bonded. She soaked up his heat; she was so cold from her long run. It mattered not that summer was approaching. The Montana nights were chilly. And her thick fur just didn't cut it. Not when her soul was colder than the night air.

Kagome watched as Shadara relaxed into the stallion's side. She seemed to be on the edge of sleep when she shivered. He flipped the end of his long tail over her. The silken strands spread out across her lap. Covering her like a shimmering blanket from her hips down.

Shadara nuzzled him in thanks for covering her bent legs.

“What was it that you wished?” Starlight asked looking at Kagome. She jumped just a bit at his question.

“I just wanted to check on her.” She twisted the edge of her robe.

She glanced up at the unicorn. He was so big, much larger than Kirara in her battle form. Yet in spite of that he was so gentle and peace flowed off of him. She just didn't know what to say to him. Her eyes widened at the sound of his light chuckle.

“You are the mate and mother to creatures of myth and I make you nervous.”

“It's not that,” her brow furrowed. “It's just I never thought I'd meet anyone like you. And your size is slightly unnerving. I've never seen an equine as large as you.”

“Come across a draft horse sometime and you will, for though I am built lighter I am a little taller.”

“Are all unicorns your size?”

“No,” he shook his head slightly. “There are many that are smaller. Very few that are larger.”

“Starlight,” Shadara tugged on his mane. “Stop talking.”

“Alright little one,” he chuckled, and then tucked his muzzle against her side.

“You wished to speak with me?” Shadara asked as Starlight began to purr again.

“Yes,” Kagome nodded, “I wanted to make sure you're alright.”

“There is more to it than that.” It was a statement.

“Inuyasha is worried about you. He's been pacing and swearing for a couple of hours now.”

“Why would he be so concerned over me?”

“He doesn't know. He just is. It bothers him to see you so hurt.”

“I do not wish for his concern or yours.” Her expression hardened. “I wish to fight my war. I want no one else involved.”

“Little one,” Starlight reprimanded.

“No,” she pulled away from him. “I do not want them drug into this.” She climbed off of the platform.

“Shadara,” Kagome said, “stop pushing us away. We're just trying to help. Besides you're not the bitch you put on being.”

Shadara turned toward her with a snarl.

“You are wrong. I am exactly the bitch that you see.”

“No, you're not. You are too kind to my son for you to be.” She gave her an understanding smile. “It's okay Inuyasha puts on a mask for the world too. He wants to talk to you by the way.”

“He may do as he likes. After I shower.” With that she glided across the room and through the bathroom door.

Kagome looked at the exasperated unicorn.

“Is she always like this?” She asked.

“At times it is worse. There are moments when her self-hatred nearly overcomes her.” He shook his head. “Sometimes I don't know what to do for her.”

Kagome looked at the door the shifter had fled through.

“I want to help her Starlight. How do I do that if she doesn't want it?”

“She wants it she just doesn't know how to ask for it. Also she's afraid.”

“What is she afraid of?”

“She's afraid that if she lets you get pulled into this, and if she gets attached, she'll lose one of you and it will break her.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*

 

As Sango rose from their bed and pulled on her robe, Miroku rolled over running his hand down her back.

“Where you going,” he mumbled into his pillow.

“I can't sleep. I'm going to get a snack and a glass of milk. I'll be back in a bit.”

“'Kay, love you.”

“Love you too,” she smiled gently as she looked at him, and then turned toward the door.

As she pulled the door open she spotted Brook in the hall, looking tired and disheveled.

“Hey,” Brook looked up at Sango's softly spoken greeting.

“Hey,” she gave a weary wave. “It's late what you doing up?”

“I couldn't sleep,” she shrugged. “Thought I'd raid the kitchen, maybe a full stomach would help.”

“I hope it that it does.” She turned away and started down the hall.

“It's hard on you isn't it?”

Brook stopped at the quiet question.

“What do you mean?”

“The worrying, the stress, the not knowing what to do,” Sango said as she walked to the red head. “The knowledge deep down that there is only so much you can do for her. And the bone deep hope that she doesn't self destruct.” Brook raised startled gray eyes to Sango's calm brown.

“How,” her voice held a slight quiver.

“I know what it's like to have your best friend question everything they do, wondering if they are doing the right thing. I know what it's like to try to convince someone you care about, that they're not a monster.”

“Who,” there was a bit of hope in her voice, hope that someone understood what she was going through.

“Me,” Inuyasha's voice came from the end of the hall.

“You're no monster,” Brook said as she looked at him.

“Keh, I've got human blood on my hands. Don't matter that they were a bunch of bandits, they were still human, and I hunted them down, and killed them.”

“You weren't yourself Inuyasha,” Sango said.

“That don't matter either.” He shook his head.

“Yes it does, you regretted it as soon as you knew what had happened.”

“Keh.”

“You guys can explain all of that later.” Brook said as she rubbed the back of her neck. She looked up at Inuyasha. “What are you still doing up?”

“Don't need as much sleep as you humans do.” He lifted one shoulder. “Kagome wants me to talk to Shadara, try to help her. How the fuck I'm supposed to do that I don't fuck'n know.”

“You'll figure it out,” Sango said with a smile. “You're pretty good sometimes at finding the right thing to say or do. If you can't think of anything just comfort her like you do us.”

“What do you mean?” Brook asked.

“He can make this really nice rumbling sound. That sound mixed with the feel of his youki is very comforting.”

“Keh,” Inuyasha's cheeks were red.

“He's only done it a few times when we've been really messed up, and when he bound us all as a pack.” She stepped to his side and looped her arms around his waist.

As he laid his arm across her shoulders, Sango did something Sesshoumaru had taught her. She bumped Inuyasha's jaw with the top off her head and whined deep in her throat.

His eyes widened in shock and he looked down at her.

“W-what did you say?”

Sango repeated her actions, this time adding more to the sound, and following it with speaking the words.

“Alpha. Brother.”

Inuyasha's instincts kicked in, his strips flared, and his rumble started deep in his chest. He tightened his hold on her shoulders and nuzzled the top of her head.

“Pack sister,” his voice deepened by the force of his youki.

Brook stood in awe as the sound washed over her, a feeling of strength and safety soon followed. She closed her eyes for a few moments just soaking it in. When the sound stopped she opened them and looked at the pair.

“If that would have the same effect on Holly that it did me it would be wonderful.” She smiled at the hanyou. “I feel much calmer now, thank you.”

“Keh, don't thank me. Sango started it.” He looked down at her. “How in the hell did you know to do that?”

She gave him a squeeze than stepped away, a smile on her face.

“Sesshoumaru taught it to me; he said it may come in handy. I guess he was right.” Inuyasha growled at her words.

“Damn bastard, can't keep his nose out of anything can he?”

“I'm glad that he didn't, anyway I think I'll be able to sleep now. Good night.” With a wave and a smile she headed back to her room.

As Sango's door closed Brook looked at Inuyasha.

“Will you do that for Holly?” There was hope in her gray eyes.

“If it comes down to that yeah,” he gruffly admitted.

“Thank you,” her voice was quiet and full of gratitude. She gave him a tired smile and headed for her room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~

Kagome looked at Starlight and then at the door.

“I can feel Inuyasha in the hallway, be right back,” she jumped up off the blue pillow and hurried to the door.

She pulled it open just as he reached the end of the hall. When she looked up at him his stripes were fading.

“What happened? I felt your youki flare, but didn't sense anything wrong.” She asked with a smile as he walked into the room.

“Keh, Sango just pulled some pack shit my bastard brother taught her.” He went on to tell her what had happened in the hall.

“It sounds like Brook is right,” Starlight said. “And I agree that it could help Shadara.”

“I don't know if there is anything I can do,” the Hanyou looked at the unicorn. “Kagome's the one good at fixing people.”

“That may be true,” the big stallion replied,”but I know that my little one will need a firmer hand than your mate has. God knows we have all tried to get through to her. Maybe with your unique brand of comfort and not being completely human yourself you can get through to her.”

“Whatever, I'll try but I give no promises.”

“That is all I ask.”

“Starlight,” Kagome's tone was questioning.

“Yes?”

“You called Shadara `bonded' just before she shifted. What did you mean?”

“Every one of my people is capable of making two soul bonds. One is with our mate; the other is with a human.” He looked at them as they nodded their understanding. “My mate is Snowwind, daughter of our Queen, and Shadara is my bonded human.”

“So how deep is this bond?” Inuyasha asked.

“Inuyasha and I can feel each other through ours and sometimes we can here the other.” Kagome added.

“Ours is more than that. At any given moment I can know every thought, every move, every heartbeat, and every breath she takes.” His eyes slid closed. “Right now I can feel the hot water against her skin, I feel the pain of her cracked ribs, and every second I feel her shattered heart.” He opened his eyes and saw the shocked looks on their faces. “Her soul is mine and her voice is in my mind at anytime. We fight as one for we are one. Two parts of the same soul and her life is bound to mine. Unless ended in battle our life will span nearly two eons. I wish for this war to be over with so that we can spend that time in peace.”

“Fuck,” the whispered word slid past Inuyasha's lips.

“Are all bonds like that?” Kagome's voice was awe filled.

“They are very close. Ours is more simply due to who she is. If you wish to know more, I'm sure the girls will be happy to fill you in.”

“So the other unicorns in the forest today, they were Brook, Fawn, and Annie's bonded?”

“Yes,” Shadara's exhausted voice said behind them.

They turned and looked at her. She was slumped against the bathroom doorframe. Her hair tightly braided, once again dressed in black, and pain etched across her face.

Starlight rose from his place and went to her. She raised her head. Emerald eyes meet dark purple ones. She laid her hand on his muzzle.

“Go to your mate,” her voice was soft. “She misses you.”

“She also understands that you need me little one.”

“If I have need of you, you will know it.”

“Alright,” he's reluctant. ”I won't be far. Are you for bed now?”

“I shall head there soon.” A very slight smile pulled at her lips. “I think I'll have a fight with Inuyasha first.”