InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Fallen ❯ Fallen ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

~*~*~Fallen~*~*~

Why do I feel like I'm always falling?

Because I already have fallen.

I'm not necessarily alive, nor am I deceased, but in between is not good enough for her.

How can I be good enough for her if she can't even see me?

All I can do is silently watch her, and occasionally brush a hair from her face as she sleeps; such a peaceful sleep. Her expression is far beyond words, and I cannot even begin to describe the beauty her body contains. She's perfect in my eyes; to her, she's a disgrace to this world, both her physical and emotional scars ruining her. If only I could be there to tell her she is the most perfect thing on this earth...if only for one moment to be with her...

If only I could see her smiling face one last time.

Because now...now, she never smiles; she always cries. And each time a tear hits the surface beneath her, it pains me. It hits me like a knife in the heart, hits me so hard that I can't even bear to look at her.

Everything then happened so quickly. I was in battle with her. I was protecting her from whatever had been attacking us - I don't exactly remember, it was so long ago - when I was knocked back by a powerful blow in the chest. Panicking, she killed the creature that had attempted to harm us, and rushed to my side.

I didn't notice the blood until she brought her hands to her face, sobbing. At first, I thought the blood had come from her, and I tried to get up, but my body was frozen. I couldn't move. I was either in shock because of the deathly pain in my chest, or in horror because I thought she was hurt.

I spoke her name, the word being a prayer on my lips. She pulled my hands into hers, revealing her blood and tear streaked face.

I realized then that I was the one who was dying.

"I love you," I whispered to her, which only caused her to rest her head on my blood coated chest and sob.

"Don't die on me," she pleaded. "Please!" She sobbed more, and with every last bit of strength I had, I brought my hand up to rest on her head.

She seemed shocked that I had the strength to do so, and hugged me closer to her, not seeming to care if it hurt me or not. I think she knew I was going to die anyway.

And with the gathered strength she had given me, just from being there by my side, I spoke my last words to her, "Please stay with me. Stay with me until it's all over..."

She sobbed more, and I knew I was going to leave her soon.

After that, everything happened so quickly. I knew she could hear my heartbeat, and I could feel it as well; it was slowing to a stop. The last words I remember hearing from her were, "Please, Kami, one more minute with him...please! Oh, please...don't let him leave me..."

The rest was black.

I don't remember much after that. I awoke in a room of gray, the gloomy color filling every space. At first, I thought I was still alive...but I was far from it.

Something explained to me what had went on. Somehow, my soul had refused to die; refused to be sent away into permanent death. But, my soul could not live; it was permanently damaged.

So now, I'm this. Stuck between the real world, and the afterlife. I've become something so supernatural it's impossible to think it's true.

In the end, I'm glad that it ended up this way. Of course, I never meant to die, but if I had my choice between being what I am now, and never being able to see her face again, I would choose this.

And it's not just her outer beauty that I want to see. She has this mystical inner beauty as well, a beauty that words cannot define. Every time I see that rare smile of hers, I still melt inside, in a way that I cannot describe. The way she makes me feel seems almost impossible; it seems almost impossible that she can still make my heart reel when I do not fully exist.

Which is why I want just a few more moments with her to see her true smiling face again. I want to feel again what she made me feel when I was still alive.

And to me, now feels like the perfect time to have those moments.

So, I return to the thing that would not show its face to me; the one that explained to me everything about what happened to me after the wretched day I spent with the one I loved drenched in my blood.

I beg for it's permission to give me five minutes with her; five minutes that I will never ask for again. Of course, I have begged time and time again, but the thing only said that he would grant me permission when the time was right.

And now, I feel as if I want to faint from relief and excitement - now is the time.

I find her in her room.

She's all alone.

And she's crying; saying my name in between sobs, begging Kami to bring me back to her.

As I reach her, I realize the thing that granted my wish of letting her see me makes me visible, for she stares up at me with a look of disbelief.

"Is it...is it really you?" she whispers, reaching out to touch my face. I nuzzle into her touch, loving the feel of her skin against mine.

"I don't have much time..." I say. "I have only come here to tell you things I have been waiting to tell you." I wish I could have more time than this.

She throws herself into my arms, and I quickly explain to her how I am the way I am...why she is able to see me.

And then I check the timer the thing has given me. Two minutes left.

"I must leave soon, my dear Sango," I whisper. "But whenever you hear the wind, whenever you feel an unknown touch to your skin...I want you to know that it is me, and only me. I love you, and you must remember that...never forget what I have just told you."

"Please don't leave me again," she says, and begins to cry.

"Don't cry," I plead. "It makes it all the more hard to leave."

She nods and presses her lips against mine, and we share the most intimate of things the both of us has ever experienced.

"I'm sorry I waited so long to confess what I really felt," I say.

"Same here," she says through a teary smile. "I love you, Miroku."

"I love you, also, Sango...I will be with you always."

And then I feel myself vanish, and I can see her face etched with worry. But then she smiles, knowing that it was really me that she had just seen.

That night, before she is about to fall asleep, I return to her room. The moonlight glitters through her open window, the breeze softly blowing her curtains from side to side. I walk to her bedside, and I see that she is still awake, but nearly asleep.

I run my hand down her face, and she jumps at my touch, and she suddenly sits up. "Miroku?" she whispers hopefully.

"It is I," I whisper in her ear.

And now, you're probably wondering, "If you could speak to her all this time, why not do it until now? " There are two reasons to that. For one, I did not want to scare her; I wanted to wait until she knew it was me for sure. And second, because the thing would not let me until she saw me. Still, if I was caught doing it, he'd banish me, even though he'll know I do it anyway.

"I love you," she says.

"I love you, too, my dear Sango...but I must leave." The thing...if it finds out I have spoken to her once more, he will surely banish my soul, and then I will not be able to ever see her mystic beauty again.

"But why?"

"I cannot explain. Remember that I love you."

"Miroku?" she asks, before I leave.

It amazes me that she can talk to me as freely as she could before and she cannot see me.

"Yes?" I whisper.

"Kiss me once last time, please...even if I can't kiss back, I want you to kiss me, please..."

I swiftly press my lips against hers and glance down on her once more. This is the last time I shall be able to speak with her. Ever.

"Stay with me, until I fall asleep," she says. "Even if I can't see you, I can feel you there."

"I shall," I whisper.

I stand next to her bed until she falls asleep. And as she lay there with a smile on her face, I speak the last words to her I ever will, "Good night, my Sango."