InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Fragment of Eternity ❯ She Who Cries: Inu-Yasha's Decision ( Chapter 19 )

Disclaimer: ::sings to the tune of `The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything' from Veggie Tails:: I am the authoress- who don't own anything! I just stay home and write for fun! And if you ask me, if I own anything! I shall tell you- I don't own anything! ^_^'

Author's Note: Hey, hey, everyone! ^_^ Here I am (finally) updating again! Yea!

T_T Gods, this fic is ending so quickly. . . and so is Early December! ::sob sob::

^_^ Oh well. I've already decided the fics I'm going to do after this. (One is only, like, 3 or 4 chapters long, the other will be around 20. ^_^)

Ooo! And some good news! My dad got a scanner for work, but says that maybe I can use it! XD This would mean I would be able to show you guys some of my OWN sketches! XD

So, I have a REALLY IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR ALL OF YOU: Where can I get my own (FREE!!!!!) web page to post them on? Help? Please? Arigotu! ^_^

Now, answers to OTHERS questions ^_~:

One: The fanfiction elimination contest. This is what it is, for those who don't know: It's sort of like `weakest link'- people go on and vote for their favorite fic and the losers are kicked out of the contest. The fic of mine that is up for voting is `Early December' (I sort of wish this fic would have made it, too, but oh well. . . maybe next season, ne? ^_^) and I'd really appreciate it if, when the actual voting starts, some of you could throw one in for me? Please? Thanks! XD You can find the URL on my bio. ^_^

Two: Thank you, SeaBreeze, for some of the lyrics to the song `Luckiest'. ^_^ It does fit oddly well, doesn't it?

Three: Steve- you keep saying you've given me your e-mail address, but it never shows up! ^_^;;; So that's why I haven't e-mailed you. Gomen. . .

Four: Sorry, no- there will not be a sequel to this story. As you will see when you read the ending, there really is no need for one. ^_^;

Five: ~ Why not bring Kouga in?~

Ah, Kouga-kun. He has been mentioned many times in reviews. ^_^; Why I haven't brought him in- the same reason there is no Shippo. He really has no place in this story. The main plot of this story is the Kik-Inu-Kag love triangle, and another (living, nonetheless) person would just make it a big mess. I find his existence in this fic unnecessary, so he will not appear. (Unless, for some reason, my plans for this fic change. Which I seriously doubt.)

*****Six: ~ aw! the bestest chapter in the world *heart eyes* sweet fluff, oh dear sweet fluff. i have to say, this was a wonderful chapter... i want to draw kagome like that, sleepy touseled hair and honisty shining in her eyes kindof a thing. ive got a good sence of that. ill try it and if you want i can send you the picture? Ja ne! ^^~

YES! PLEASE! AND THIS GOES TO EVERYONE: If, for whatever reason, you EVER feel like doing fanart to any of my fanfics- and you have a scanner to scan it or whatever- PLEASE send it to me (my e-mail is also on my bio)! One of my readers sent me a pic they did from B&C and I STILL have it saved. I LOVE it! It makes me feel all happy inside to know that someone would want to spend the time drawing a scene I wrote! -^_^-

All righty! ^_^ That's all for now. Please enjoy and R&R! ^_^_^_^_^

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~Fragment of Eternity~

Chapter Nineteen: She Who Cries: Inu-Yasha's Decision

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*

`This is just great.

This is just fucking great,' Inu-Yasha mentally grumbled, one leg crossed over the other as he rested his head in his right palm, drumming his claws quietly on his chin as he watched the snow fall gently outside the white window. `What the hell am I going to do now?!

So confused- - -!'

Why was fate choosing to play out his afterlife like this? Things shouldn't be so stressful for the dead!

`What am I going to do?!' he thought desperately as he let out a half-whine, half-sigh, balling his right hand into a fist and slamming it onto his kneecap. He winced slightly, only growing more irritated as the tingling pain seeped through his ghostly skin. `What. . . ?! As every second passes, I only grow more- - - more- - - indecisive!

. . .

Is that the word I want to u- - - ? Oh, shit! I'm doing it again!'

Sighing once more, he flopped his head forward- cushioning it with his crossed arms as his nose landed a few millimeters away from the frost-caked glass. `What's wrong with me. . . ?

Why do I keep questioning myself, my feelings. . . ? Why can't I make a decision?!

I know I loved- love!- Kikyo!

Why should Kagome matter?

. . .

Because I care for her, too.

Somehow. . .

Without my ever noticing it. . .

She's become my belonging place.

Not this neighborhood- or the orchard- or my tree- or even this stupid house-!

Her. . .

But. . .

What does it matter?

She would never care for- - -'

~"And now. . ." she whispered, eyelashes fluttering, ". . . I care *deeply* for one. I'm. . .

I'm in love with one."~

`. . .

I. . .

I suppose. ..

Now it's only a question of who I lo- like more. . .

She who cries for me. . .

Or she who made me cry.'

*

Kagome licked her dry lips, fighting back a tremble. `On three,' she told herself, flexing her stiff fingers and smoothing down her clothes. `One. . .

Two. . .

Three!'

Springing to life, she slowly peeked around the corner; scanning the hallway.

. . .

It was empty.

Very empty.

. . .

He wasn't there.

Good.

`Okay,' she told herself calmly, trying to keep her cool. `He's obviously somewhere else. Maybe in the attic. . . or outside. . . or in the living room. . . or- oh, God- he could be anywhere!' she freaked, a fire of magenta suddenly flaming into life inside her cheeks. `Crap! Crap crap crap!' Swallowing rapidly, she wrung her hands. `I can't believe I said that last night! I can't believe I could be so stupid! Stupid, STUPID half-asleep brain! Making my poor mouth say that to HIM! AUGH!'

Doing a nervous, twitchy little dance, Kag continued to quietly stress out in the middle of the hall. Sango, who was leaning against the doorway to the guest room, watched in eyebrow-arching amusement.

"I can't avoid him forever!" the ebony haired teen whispered frantically, as if terrified that he would come floating out of the wall at any minute. Which, technically, he could. "What am I going to do?! What the HELL am I going to d- - -?!"

"Ahem," the exterminator cleared her throat softly, causing the college student to nearly leap out of her skin.

!!!

"Sango!" Kagome gasped, clutching her racing heart as she spun to face the second girl, an angry glisten in her eyes as she glared. "Are you trying to kill me?!"

"If I did, I bet that'd make Inu-Yasha happy," the chestnut haired woman teased lightly, even more entertained as Kag's flushed face darkened to an almost comical shade of violet.

"Shut up," she grumbled, playing with a frayed end of her sweater as she lowered her eyes, suddenly quite "interested" in a small stain on the carpet. "I don't need you to make this worse."

"I don't even know what's going on," the exterminator defended herself lightly, pushing the door to her room open a little wider. "But I'd be thrilled to find out. Want to come in and talk?"

". . ."

Kagome eyed the room warily, hands darting to her hair and giving it a worried tug.

Sango rolled her eyes. "I promise that that stupid ghost isn't inside."

". . .

Oh, all right. . ." the younger girl agreed grudgingly, trailing slowly after the first.

*

"What's with the long face, my friend?"

"I am not your friend."

Miroku blinked once before smiling, glad to see that, at least, Inu-Yasha's attitude wasn't as unfamiliar as the wistful look in his eyes.

"Nonsense," the monk chastised, sitting down in a chair on the opposite side of the window, glancing out of it while casting a sideways glance at the spirit. "I can tell simply by looking at you that something's weighing heavy on your mind. Care to lighten that load?"

Inu-Yasha, head still half-buried in his arms as he stared out the window, chuckled darkly. "Don't try to trick me, idiot. I know all you want is to get rid of me. Quit with the chummy act, all right?"

Miroku faked a pained look, placing a hand over his heart as he sadly closed his eyes. "My friend, you've cut me deep."

"Would you like me to literally?"

". . . No, not really, no."

"Than shut up."

"Right."

. . .

Both sat in silence for a few minutes, simply watching the snow blanket the ground; fresh, new flakes replacing the old stuff that had been laying there for what seemed years. After a few moments, however, Inu-Yasha exhaled heavily- catching Miroku's attention once more.

"Monk . . . ?" he grumbled, though there was no real irritation or anger in his voice.

"Yes?" the other replied carefully, not wanting to put off the ghost again.

"If. . . if you couldn't choose between two women. . ." the spirit muttered, looking slightly embarrassed, "what would you do?"

". . . Oh. . . ?"A large,- rather perverted,- sly grin began to creep across the exorcist's face. "So this is a problem with the sweeter sex, than, is it? I see. . ." He closed his eyes wisely, taping his chin with his thumb. "Well, my friend, it is a good thing you came to me. I am, after all, an expert on females."

. . .

Inu-Yasha cocked an eyebrow, lifting his head off the window sill. "You? An expert of females?"

"But of course," the monk bragged, nodding his head emphatically. "One does tend to learn a lot about them, you see, when so many lust after you."

". . . Riiiiiiight. . ."

Inu-Yasha decided not to mention the slaps, bumps, bruises, and injuries he had many times seen on the monk, each reeking of femininity. Generally Sango's brand of femininity.

"So, you can't choose between two, yes?" Miroku recapped, leaning forward slightly- full of captivated interest. "I see. . . difficult dilemma, it is. . ."

"You. . . You don't suppose I could. . . you know," the hanyou shifted uncomfortably, "have both of them?"

The monk chuckled, stoking an imaginary beard. "Ah, you're such a young novice. . ."

". . .

You *do* realize I'm about fifty years your elder, right?"

"Inu-Yasha," Miroku shook his head sadly, still laughing airily. "When it comes to the better gender, you are YEARS behind me. I am the MASTER."

The ghost hastily turned his snickers into a hacking cough.

"Right," the exorcist clapped his hands together, putting on a serious face. "Your problem. Well- let's start with your `idea' first." He made a show of forming bunny ears with his fingers and wiggling them in the air, making imaginary quotation marks to surround the word `idea'. "While it is an. . . interesting one, it has been used many times before by men women like to call `two timers'." Once again, Miroku did the bunny thing- oblivious to the eye twitch Inu-Yasha was developing. "So no, I would highly suggest *not* tugging both of the women along for the ride."

"Than what WOULD you suggest?" Inu growled, annoyance building up inside him.

"It depends on the two women you fancy," the monk shrugged. "If you just `like'"- cue the bunny-quotes- "one of them because you feel you owe them something, I'd dump them. If you're trailing after one because you're still chasing a dream, I'd wake up. If you're trying to avoid one because of problems you foresee between you, I'd buck up and face them. If yo- - -"

"You know, monk," Inu-Yasha growled, crossing his arms in anger, "you sound like you're trying to make me get over Kikyo and fall for Kagome."

Miroku shrugged. "You said it, not me. I didn't know Kikyo and Kagome were the two women you were torn between."

The hanyou suddenly developed an eyebrow tick. "WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE, MORON?!"

He shrugged again before standing, dusting off his behind and smiling at the fuming spirit. "I don't know. But I do know, Inu-Yasha, that you have some serious thinking to do. Not just on who you love more- but on who you're chasing."

"WHO. . . ?!" Inu-Yasha's brow crinkled as he frowned in confusion. "Kikyo and Kagome, stupid! Weren't you listeni-?!"

"No," Miroku shook his head rather sympathetically, turning around and walking out of the living room. "You're chasing the shadow of a woman you used to care about. . . and a living girl with a bright future ahead of her. "

. . .

The ghost swallowed as the monk disappeared around the corner, out of sight- his words echoing softly off the living room walls:

"Good luck choosing."

*

"*Please* tell me you really didn't say that to him."

Kagome winced and shuffled uncomfortably on the bed, looking determinedly away from the sighing Sango. Reaching out to grab one of the chips that sat in a bowl between them (the exterminator had obviously planned this conversation from the very beginning, and had stashed a bag of treats in the corner), Kag munched distractedly as her friend nibbled the tip of her thumb, thinking hard.

"So you told him you loved him. . ." Sango murmured, taping her index finger rapidly against the bedspread. "Smooth."

"Shut up," Kagome grumbled, crossing her legs Indian-style and grasping her ankles. "I'm already berating myself- I don't need your help."

"Sorry, sorry," the other waved a hand in apology, eyes narrowing in thought. "I just can't believe you have such a big mouth!"

. . .

"Thanks, Sango."

Releasing her hold on her legs and crawling off the bed, Kag sighed (for the umpteenth time) and flexed her legs.

"Where are you going?" the exterminator inquired curiously, popping a crisp into her mouth and chewing slowly.

"I'm just tired of sitting here," Kagome called over her shoulder as she trailed out the door, closing it slowly behind her. "I'm going for a walk."

"Uh. . ."

!

Kagome's eyes widened as she froze in place, hand still glued on the door knob as she slowly turned her face.

Inu-Yasha stood before her, blinking rapidly as a redish hue slowly crept up his neck.

Uh oh. . .

After a second he cleared his throat and shook his head, pushing back the rosy-ness as he lowered his head.

"Can I. . . uh. . . can I walk with you?"

. . . ?

Gulping quietly, all the girl could make herself do was nod.

*

"You talked to her?"

Sango watched her husband in the vanity mirror, never once pausing as she brushed her long, thick, somewhat coarse hair. "Yes. And you, Inu-Yasha?"

"Yep."

Miroku released a moan of content as he sunk down on the bed, stretching out upon the mattress.

"And?" his wife questioned, putting her brush down on the tabletop with a soft `clack'. "What do you think?"

"I think we were right- for the most part."

"Ooo! Good!" Sango chirped. "So that means as soon as he gets over Kikyo, he'll move o- - - wait. What do you mean, `for the most part?"

". . .

I think. . ." the monk replied slowly, glancing out the snow-covered window before lightly closing his eyes. "That right now. . . He may have more unfinished business than anyone originally planned. . ."

*

"So. . ." Kagome whispered self-continuously as they walked the forested paths behind the house, eyes locked on the snow-brushed pines, sakuras, and momiji trees instead of on the ghost walking beside her. A few stray beams of weak sunshine trickled out through the dark gray clouds, making the drifting snow flakes glitter as they danced to the ground.

A cool wind whipped through her hair.

"So. . ." Inu-Yasha repeated quietly, releasing a soft cough. He stuffed his hands into his sleeves, silver hair framing his face as a second breeze pushed against their backs- rather, Kagome's back. He couldn't feel it.

"So. . ." the girl echoed, suddenly stopping in the middle of the path. Turning to face him she clasped her hands together for warmth, glossy charcoal locks twirling around her cold-nipped cheeks. "So. . . are you okay?"

". . . I'm all right," he answered carefully, eyes locking with her's- but not really seeing her. It was more like he was seeing *through* her. . . She frowned slightly at her reflection in his golden eyes.

"Are you sure?" she gently chewed her tongue, pushing a few strands of hair behind her earmuff-covered ears. "What are you thinking about?"

Life was birthed behind his eyes; tugging him back into reality.

. . .

He chuckled softly, turning his back to her and lifting his face to the sky. ". . . You."

Her heart stopped.

"M. . . me. . . ?"

"Did you mean it, Kagome. . . ?" he asked quietly, toes and fingers curling as he stared off into space. "Did you really mean what you said last night. . . ? All of it?"

Kag wetted her dry lips, trying to find her voice.

"I. . . Inu-Yasha. . ."

"Tell me, Kagome," he breathed, whirling suddenly around to face the girl once more, a desperate pleading in his eyes. It was as if he was trying to tell her something. . . something she didn't want to hear.

She looked away.

"Ye. . . yes, Inu-Yasha," she replied almost forcefully, biting back tears. "I'm sorry. . . but I meant it."

. . .

"All of it. . . ?"

"Yes! Every . . . every word. . ." she choked, chin trembling as she inclined her head, blocking her eyes with her swirling locks. "Why do. . . do you want to know. . . ?"

"*Why*, Kagome?" he all but hissed, irritation and pity laced in his voice. "Why?! That's what *I* want to know! WHY?! Why do you feel this way?! I'm dead! DEAD! YOU'RE- - -"

"ALIVE! I KNOW!" Kagome cried, bubbling tears springing forth and spilling down her cheeks in torrents, burning her skin before freezing there. "I know. . .

But Inu-Yasha-

That doesn't change anything I say.

I don't know why the hell I feel the way I do. . . but I. . . I love you!" She clenched her hands over her heart, still hiding her face. "More than anything. . . ! More than Kikyo loves you. . ."

Her words stung- in a way that they probably shouldn't have. They were like sweet torture, killing him and saving him all at once. The truth, the honesty, the sincerity behind each syllable was excruciatingly real- alive! While he. . .

. . .

She was afraid, she was cold, she was in love.

And. . . She was- for some reason that he just couldn't fathom- in love- - - with him.

` "More than Kikyo loves you. . ."

. . .

Does Kikyo even love me? Or was it just brief infatuation that I'm clinging to. . . ?'

Doubt that had always lain dormant in his heart was beginning to rage out of control, fueled by Kag's adoration-filled words.

"Inu-Yasha. . ."

Her weak, wavering voice made him look up, capturing her eyes with his own as a veil of tears hid her stormy gray orbs.

"Inu-Yasha," she forced out, shivering and sobbing, "Inu-Yasha- I understand if you want to be with Kikyo. I won't stop you or try to talk you out of it. But. . . But you need to know how *I* feel. . .

And I. . .

And I need you know how *you* feel. . ."

She bit her bottom lip as more liquid crystals spilt down her rose-petal cheeks. "So. . .

How do you feel?"

. . .

He couldn't answer.

What could he say?

Even he didn't know how he felt.

"Kagome. . . Kag- - -!"

"Inu-Yasha, please!" she begged, voice cracking as she took deep gulps of air. "Just tell me. . . whatever's on your mind- tell me! Just tell me to go or to shut up! Tell me what to do! Please, tell m- - -!"

"STOP!"

!

"Just. . .

Just stop.

Stop crying," he whispered, taking a slow step forward and gently lifting his hand and her chin with telekinesis. She gasped softly at the gentleness in his ocean-deep honey eyes, chewing her pink-frosted bottom lip as he clenched his other fist. "I can't stand to. . . to watch. . .

Just don't, please. Your tears are wasted.

I'm not worth them."

Releasing her and lowering his arm he turned to walk back inside-

When Kagome's voice drifted to his ears, making him glance at her from over his shoulder.

"But. . .

But you are," she sniffed, wiping her eyes. "You're worth them and so much more, Inu-Yasha."

A tear splattered against the snow, glittering brighter than any crystal- snow or otherwise.

`. . . She who cries for me. . .'

Inu-Yasha allowed a small, half-smile to take over his features. "Thank you."

`. . . Or she who made me cry?'

Kagome returned the tiny grin, accompanying it with a nervous giggle as she took a few cautious steps forward to walk beside him.

`Really, that's no decision at all. . .'

As they hiked through the snow, Kagome- surprisingly- leaned a bit closer, whispering just loud enough for him to hear: "I. . . I wish I could touch you. . ."

Inu chuckled sadly in agreement, eyes proclaiming the same wish- - -

As Kag threw a snow ball at him.

Thus a second snow war began.

`I am no longer confused. Why was I in the first place?

She who cries for me. . .

She who truly loves me.

Kikyo- - -

Our next meeting. . .

It will be our last.'

~*~

XD Woo!

I hope you all liked! Please review!

Ja ne!