InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Frozen ❯ You only see what your eyes want to see ( Chapter 1 )

Title: Frozen
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Inu Yasha/ various, Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Frozen” by Madonna


Chapter 1: You only see what your eyes want to see

I can't say much about my mothers life or how she lived it before she met my father and birthed him a son; me. I wasn't much older than five when I began to hear the harshly whispered words of servants and maids in my home which went no further than the small quarters in a palace where I never saw the outside which lay hidden behind solid white washed walls.

I was a bastard and not just any bastard…no I was the bastard son of a fearsome Youkai known as Inu No Taisho. I was a double taboo, a bastard and a hanyou. Hanyou…a word my mother disliked and seemed to anger her if it was uttered in her presence. My mother's life and my own was given thanks to my father's death. I was told my mother had been given sanctuary in a monastery until relatives let her stay with them. She carried the title of princess whether or not she had bore a bastard hanyou. My birth had brought her down in society but she never acted as though it bothered her. We played in my small world and talked of many things. As I grew older she grew weak.

She had trouble breathing and was prone to coughing fits. I watched over her like she had me and as I watched her grow into something frailer than cherry blossoms in the wind I worried for us. Her family seemed cold and gave little in the way of support. Eventually my mother was bedridden. Her condition worsened and I watched as she deteriorated into almost nothing. On her death bed she sadly smiled up at me and told me to live a good life.

I felt my heart break at her last breath and her eyes closed for the last time. I sobbed for a time and then my life changed. The doors were thrown open and my mother's body was taken away. I was grabbed by guards and taken from my small world. I watched as the bitter and delighted faces around me passed with the walls of the inner building I had never been allowed to enter and then the slamming of doors was heard and I saw the bright sunlit court yard.

The sound of creaking wood and metal was loud in the silence that surrounded me and then I was air born if only for a moment before I landed on my bottom. Guards came out bearing swords and pikes and I stood shakily on my bare feet as they shouted for me to be gone and struck at me with their weapons and booted feet. I stood and ran until I came to the edge of the woods that edged the small township where my former home had been. I sat down and winced. My bare feet were bloody from scratches and blisters alike. I sniffled one last time declaring that I would no longer cry, that I would be strong like my mother had been all these years and grow up strong like her and my hated demon father.

I would prove them all wrong and make my way in this prejudiced world!

I wandered the woods, making sure not to go too far knowing that my mother's body would soon be cremated and that they would bury her ashes. I was betting the family plot would be too good for her so I was wondering just where they would bury her.

I located a large tree with its inside rotted and half dug into, I proceeded to dig further until I was able to fit my body inside. I pulled my fire rat kimono tighter around me and closed my eyes. My sensitive ears caught every sound in the woods that surrounded me; the many animal dwellers, the cool breeze that rustled the leaves and the sounds of the termites and other beetles that continuously chewed and crawled through the decaying tree. The sounds eventually faded out and with them the darkness that was an exhausted sleep claimed me.

I awoke the next morning to a growling stomach so I left my cozy tree and went in search of food. I located a few berries here and there and a source of fresh water. In the water I discovered fish of various shapes and sizes. Try as I might they seemed to evade capture. I devoured my berries and drank until my stomach felt full. I did this for two more days until the sounds of brass clanging and murmuring filled the woods.

I followed the sounds and came to a lush field of wildflowers where a group of monks and priests stood over a newly erected carved grave stone. From where I stood I could barely make out the writing on it. I had barely begun to learn to read and write but I knew a bit. I watched and waited as the priests blessed the land and placed an urn in the ground by the stone; cover it with dirt and then a few heavy flat stones before pouring some liquid on the grave and chanting once again. I watched as they finished and one by one the priests and monks left followed by the familiar faces of those who my mother had called family.

I had been right. They would not allow my mothers remains to be buried with those of the family. I waited a few moments more before crawling out of my dimly lit hiding place among a few shady trees and made my way over to the lonely gravestone.

I stood in front of it starring at the all too familiar kanji that had been taught to me over and over. My mother had taught me to write using my name, writing it out over and over again; pointing to each hiragana symbol as she did so and at my request she wrote her own name which I read aloud and she pointed out each symbol as she read it with me. My joy and that soft pride filled smile made me want to try harder. She had even gone as far as teaching me the a few kanji and her pride seemed to grow even more so as I read aloud and pointed to words I knew in her collection of books or when I watched her compose letters.

I had seen her calligraphy and had asked about the beautiful symbols and it was then that she had painted my name and hers in kanji, the same kanji that now adorned the grave stone, not nearly as beautiful as her own style. I traced her name and stared at her plain unadorned grave before running off into the nearby wildflower fields. I grabbed handfuls of flowers of all colors and ran back to her grave stone leaving them there before running off again and grabbing another handful. I did this until my hands had blisters and her grave stone became a colorful beacon in the dull landscape. I wanted there to be no question that she had been loved and thought of. Once I had accomplished this I took one last look at her resting place and whispered a goodbye with the memory of her smile plastered in my mind.

It was then that I left, not looking back.

I traveled and as I did so I learned many lessons.

Walk quietly, always avoiding leaves and sticks; they always alerted others to your presence, human and demon alike and neither were welcome most of the time. With humans it was usually cruel words and actions. Usually screaming and running or disdainful words but more often than not followed by the throwing of mud and rocks or worse, once or twice I had been chased and beaten with fists, switches and threatened with swords. Those who followed the faith of exercising demons also were a danger with their talismans and threats of purging and purifying.

Demons were usually a bigger threat…I had become a thing of amusement a few times. Something that was chased and beaten if caught. That was a horrible experience but preferred over the threat of being eaten or assimilated by the eviler and stronger demons. I was often told I would be nothing more than a snack and that I was even unfit for that due to my short stature and scrawny body.

I lived in fear and hate and trusted no one. My adolescence was spent in fear. I got better at hiding and learned that the trees were perfect hiding places from lesser demons who were too dumb to look up and if they had intelligence they also needed agility and speed in order to catch as I became better at leaping through the branches, perfecting my leaps and bounds from branch to branch.

As my body grew in height I had grown accustomed to sleeping in the many boughs and branches of the trees in the territories I often traveled.

I still had to contend with my human nights and found them a problem. I was weak and vulnerable to all. Humans were cruel to all, it didn't matter if I was a child they still were cruel. I would go in search of quiet places to hide and wait out my transformation back into my hanyou body. Shrines were good places to hide because most demons avoided them if at all possible, sometimes even the stronger chose to avoid them. I could sense energies around them; even the older or abandoned ones but never had I felt unease. They became a place of rest and respite for me.

It was my fiftieth year and this year my birthday fell on the same night as my human night. I felt compelled to hide and yet the sounds and smells of the local village lured me from my hiding place beneath the local temples porch. I had managed to wander into the town without incident and once there found it filled with the many happy towns people in the midst of celebration.

I didn't care enough to find out what they were celebrating I was just glad to see others who for once didn't feel the need to attack or criticize me. As I walked by fires with meats and rice cooking over the red flames I was handed pieces here and there by kind women with bright smiles. I devoured my meal of handouts quickly enough and continued touring the jovial place that I would then avoid for the duration of my stay.

I had found playmates in the children whose parents had drunkenly allowed them to stay up in celebration. The smell of alcohol permeated the air along with the smell of clean spring air and the scent of ready to bloom blossoms. As the night was coming to an end I wandered quietly away from the dying fires and was making my way to the outskirts of the village when I heard the sounds of drunken laughter behind me. I turned to see not one but three men; if one could call them that. They couldn't be older than sixteen summers.

“Where are you going pretty one,” asked one with small dark eyes that were framed by a handsome enough face that was illuminated by the flames of the lantern he held in his hand.

“Are you a spirit fleeing before blessing the town and us on such an auspicious night,” asked the tallest of the group who was muscular sun darkened skin and playful eyes with a smile to match.

The third; a tall skinny child-like man with freckles dusting his face stepped away from the other two and circled me and as he did so I felt dread in the pit of my stomach, threatening to bring up the first good meal I had enjoyed in months.

Before I could respond arms grabbed me around the middle while another set grabbed at my legs. I struggled as I felt my hakama being removed and hands roamed my body. A set of hands held my small hands in one of their own while the other slid over my mouth to silence my cries; current and future. I was soon divested of all my clothing, my nude body exposed to the elements and the cruel hands of my tormentors.

I was lowered to the ground, my head and chest brought against the big ones folded legs. He moved my head so that I had to look into his eyes as another set of hands pushed my naked thighs apart and roughly and clumsily touched, prodded and poked my most intimate of places.

My eyes grew hot with embarrassment and fear and then pain as dry fingers entered me for the first time. I tried to inch away from the prying digits but to no avail. The fingers vanished and were replaced with something hotter and much bigger. It forced its way in; causing a scream to die against the bigger mans hand against my mouth. Hot tears came unbidden down my cheeks as the man drunkenly found his rhythm in my abused and bleeding body. He jerked and I felt him spasm deep inside me leaving behind a warm oozing trail as he patted my thighs and pulled out. The cold air was welcome on my open wounds, taking just a bit of the sting away but not for long as another set of legs pushed themselves between my trembling thighs.

There were no fingers this time, just the pain as I was once again entered roughly. The second whom I couldn't see with my head position slammed roughly into my body and I found my mouth uncovered allowing my choking sobs and now soft cries of pain free to escape through my cut lips. This man had gone longer but he ended his rut just like the first; shuddering on top of my small body and then pulling out.

At this point I felt nothing below the waist other than the throbbing almost stabbing pain; I could no longer feel the fluids escaping my abused opening.

The large hands left my body and my head was lowered to the ground momentarily and then I was flipped onto my stomach before rough hands pried my thighs open and I felt something larger than the first two enter me. I tried to find the strength to crawl away but all I could manage was to scrape my human fingernails on the ground and cry out softly, my throat scratchy and torn. He rutted atop me like the wild dogs in towns often did but thankfully he didn't tie himself to me when he found his completion inside me. He patted my bottom and pulled out. I heard him stand and watched as the light faded in time with the dying sound of footsteps.

They had had their fun and then left me battered and naked on the floor of the forest entrance. I lay there in silence, wondering if something would come along and devour me; knowing that there was nothing I would be able to do in my current condition. Nothing came and soon the night vanished with the morning light from the sun and I felt my body change as it had every new morning after my human night. My body healed as much as it could and even as I pulled myself up and stood, finding my clothing and pulling it on I knew that I had once again survived and that I would live through this and be better for it.

To Be Continued….

This story has been bugging me for a while now so I had to start writing it. I haven't stopped writing my other fics I've just lost my muse for them momentarily. Just to reassure everyone, I have at least 3-5 pages for my other stories I just need to finish them.

Kat