InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Hold Me, Heal Me ❯ Hold Me, Heal Me ( One-Shot )

Hold Me, Heal Me

 

Disclaimer: I do not Inuyasha or any of the characters in the anime or manga. I do however own a very nice 20 inch Inu-plushie with a BIG sword.

 

 

Two weeks…that's fourteen days, three hundred and thirty…uh six hours, or several thousand seconds…Kami, I hate math.

 

Kagome leaned against the tree trunk, her geometry book forgotten on her lap. She cast a look around the quiet campsite. Though it was still fairly early in the night, Sango and Miroku were dozing across the fire. Sango was being extra protective of Miroku and refused to let him overexert himself. She had a feeling if he tried to use his wind tunnel any time in the foreseeable future his head would be met with Sango's weapon with the same force as if he'd touched her butt.

 

Shippou was snuggled against Kirara, his little fox feet twitching with his dreams. Kagome had pretty much given them free run of her sleeping bag. Though she was dead tired she knew she wasn't going to sleep much. Her reason was sitting diagonal from her, glaring up into the tree branches with violet eyes and scowling. She knew he'd rather be up there, away from the group, away from her.

 

Kikyou died only two weeks ago and Inuyasha had barely spoken more than a handful of sentences to Kagome since. He only carried her if absolutely necessary and she could feel the stiffness in his muscles when he did. So she tried as hard as she could to not be a nuisance. If Shippou teased the hanyou or asked why he was making Kagome sad, she'd step in right away and say she was fine and try to distract the kit. Since Miroku was riding Kirara with Sango most of the time, Kagome worked twice as hard to keep up with Inuyasha's impossible to maintain pace and not complain. She rarely asked to rest and always had water ready so the group only had to stop if there was no other choice.

 

True, Kikyou had given Kagome her bow but the weapon was useless without arrows.

 

Kikyou…Inuyasha's in so much pain and he wouldn't share it with me. All the times I was jealous and ran off crying or sat him for going to the undead priestess probably made him wary of even mentioning Kikyou's name. And now there's nothing I can do to help. I can't even find Kohaku. The only thing Kikyou asked of me and I can't do it. Maybe I am just a poor imitation.

 

With another glance at the hanyou turned human, Kagome set her book aside. No point in trying to study when the numbers just blurred together anyway. She noticed Inuyasha's eyes were closed. He wasn't sleeping, he never slept when he was human unless he was seriously injured, but he might just be deep enough in thought for her to sneak down to the river and give him some peace. It was close, it wouldn't be like she was wandering in the forest unarmed, and she could see the others just fine.

 

A sigh escaped as the tired miko dipped her feet into the cold water. They ached almost constantly now and she couldn't wait to get back to Kaede's village so she could go home. Of course, if her mother saw the condition her feet were in Kagome wouldn't be going to school while she was home. Wrinkling her nose, she grabbed the pile of bloody bandages next to her and scrunched them into a ball. Her poor feet and ankles were swollen and covered in open sores and blisters. Most of the damage was caused by her trying to keep up with the fast pace and long treks Inuyasha set for the group. She didn't want to make him angry or think her weaker than she was, so she just wrapped the wounds well and tried to mask the scent of blood. A slight rustle behind her caught her attention.

 

“What are you doing out here by yourself, wench?” Inuyasha grumbled before plopping gracefully down next to Kagome.

 

“I'm not really by myself, Inuyasha. I could see the camp and I just wanted to come down to the river. I didn't think you'd notice if I left.”

 

“Keh, just because I'm human doesn't mean all my senses are off. I still know when you're not around.”

 

Kagome glanced up at the star filled sky. Without the moon, the silver sparkles seemed to cover almost every free inch of the midnight blue blanket.

 

“I didn't want to bother you. I'll go back if you want.”

 

Without thinking, Kagome swung her feet from the chilly water and grabbed for her socks. She was shocked when Inuyasha's hand whipped out and grabbed her ankle.

 

“What the hell, wench? What did you do to your feet?”

 

Trying desperately to tug free, Kagome started to babble. “It's nothing, really. I guess I've been walking too much. They don't hurt if I keep them wrapped. I'll take care of it once we get to Kaede's. It's nothing to worry…”

 

“Shut up and stay put.”

 

She wanted to argue but the look Inuyasha shot her made the words die in her throat. With one last `stay' he ran back to the camp and returned moments later with her oversized first aid kit.

 

“This is because I don't carry you anymore, isn't it?” Inuyasha asked softly as he spread salve over the worst of the wounds.

 

“No, Inuyasha, none of this is your fault.” The boy looked up in surprise. He could tell by Kagome's tone she wasn't just talking about her injuries.

 

“I could see you hurting. I could see you hurting and there's nothing I could do about it. You're so tense when you have to carry me that I decided I wouldn't hurt you anymore. I might not have been strong enough to save Kikyou but I will not cause you anymore pain.”

 

Even without his hanyou senses, Inuyasha knew Kagome was crying.

 

Kouga told me I wasn't the only one who was hurting that day…have I really been that cold to her? She's not Kikyou yet they are part of each other and I can't get past that. For a few moments I had the woman I fell in love with fifty years ago back, the woman I would have become human for. And I got the chance to say goodbye. To make sure she had a happy moment to hold onto instead of pain. And I turn around and hurt Kagome.

 

He reached out and tipped Kagome's head up…watched the tears drip down her cheeks.

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

She shook her head viciously. “No! No, no, no! You have nothing to be sorry for! It's mostly my fa…”

 

“Stop it, Kagome. I don't blame you for not saving Kikyou. You couldn't and it's not because you're weak. It was time. She should have never been forced back into this existence at all. She's at peace.”

 

“Oh, Inuyasha…” Kagome drew him close, not caring that she was in a skirt and he would be able to see straight up it if he tilted his head down. She cradled his head against her chest, running her fingers through his jet black hair as both of them wept. His arms were locked tightly around her waist, legs tangled with hers, as he drew on the comfort she offered. It had been so long since someone held him like this while he cried. He'd held Kagome in his arms and wept when he thought he'd lost her to poison and he'd held Kikyou and wept as she died but no one offered him comfort…no one except Kagome. And she wanted nothing more in return than for him to be happy.

 

“Can you tell me? Can you talk to me about Kikyou? I know I was childish and jealous before…but if it will help…”

 

He looked into her blue eyes, those eyes that were swimming with tears, and felt his heart lurch. Even now all Kagome wanted was to be there for him. To listen, no matter if his words hurt her she would hear them because she wanted to make him feel better.

 

Adjusting himself so that Kagome was resting in the space between his crossed legs and both their heads were resting on the other's shoulder, he spoke in a whisper.

 

“In the end…she…she asked if I remembered before Naraku tricked us. I told her I did; of course I did because I was going to become human for her. And she told me she was an ordinary woman then, which was her wish, to be ordinary. I told her she was the first woman I ever loved. And before she passed…I gave her a kiss…as an ordinary woman.”

 

He closed his eyes when he finished speaking, his human emotions overwhelming him, and just cuddled into the warmth and fragrance that was Kagome. Here was his comfort and he had been avoiding it all this time. He thought he needed to be alone to cope but what he needed was right here with him.

 

This was what Kouga meant when he said he had to leave Kagome with me. Not because she had to find Kohaku, but because she had to heal me. Keh, the wolf's still stupid…

 

“You were hurting yourself because of me, wench?” he murmured against Kagome's neck.

 

“No, not because of you, Inuyasha. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't a burden. It has to be hard to see me, to look at me and know that I'm Kikyou's reincarnation. That in order for that to have happened she had to die. You lost the woman you love and you have to look at someone who looks like her everyday.”

 

He lifted his own tear streaked face to hers. Most times he hated being human with every fiber but right now, right now might be the only time he could really find the words he wanted to say.

 

“Kagome, I lost the first person aside from my mother to care about me in any way. I lost the first woman that I ever loved as a woman but I didn't lose the only woman I love.”

 

He could see confusion creep into those gorgeous blue eyes. He didn't think she'd catch on right away, he'd hoped it, but he supposed that was just too easy. It wasn't as though he'd really been showing her much attention as of late. Fuck it, he didn't even notice what she did to her feet.

 

“What I lost was someone who taught me that I could love, even as a filthy hanyou.”

 

That got the girl's attention. Kagome leaned back far enough to cup Inuyasha's face in her hands.

 

“You are NOT a filthy hanyou. How many times to I have to tell you that I like you exactly as you are?” She took a deep breath. Never had she intended on revealing her feelings to the half demon but if not now there was really no other time. He was broken, somewhere deep inside where she couldn't reach, and maybe, just maybe if he knew he still had someone that loved him on this side he would try to live again.

 

“Inuyasha, you are my best friend. There is no one else that I consider as important as you.” She drew in a deep breath and looked directly into those sorrowful violet depths. “I love you, Inuyasha. I have since the moment I decided to stay by your side. I knew what you were feeling for Kikyou and the pain of being away from her because that's what I felt for you. I love you as you are, as a hanyou.”

 

It shouldn't have surprised her to see the shock flow across his face but she still felt a little stab in her heart. She had to move quickly fearing that he would pull away and never speak to her again. Grabbing his upper arms, Kagome continued to focus on Inuyasha's face.

 

“I'm not saying it because I expect anything in return, Inuyasha. I wanted to tell you so you knew that someone still cares for you, that someone still loves you. I'll leave you alone now, if you want.”

 

Inuyasha drew the little miko into a fierce hug. Fresh tears flowed down his face but he didn't care. Kami, I could see it, I knew and I just couldn't do anything about it. I promised her once, in her time, that I would always be there. And, damn it, I will be. When he could pull back he just looked at her.

 

“Kagome…I…I…Kami, I don't think there's anyone in this world or your world combined that I need with me more. I thought I wanted to be alone with my grief and maybe at first I needed to be but now, sitting here, I need you.” Now he reached out and cupped her chin. “I do love you, Kagome. I loved the woman Kikyou was but I love the woman you are.”

 

“Inuyasha…” Kagome couldn't help but cry again. Here was her brave, strong, arrogant, stubborn Inuyasha admitting that he loved her. It was almost too much to believe. And now, he was leaning towards her.

 

Closing her eyes, she felt the warm flutter of Inuyasha's breath a second before his lips met hers. Kagome sank into the feeling. She tilted her head to get better access to his mouth and carefully flicked out her tongue. Kagome had no idea if people French kissed in feudal Japan but she was going to try it.

 

Inuyasha gasped slightly in surprise when he felt Kagome's moist tongue slick over his lips. The next think he knew was her slipping the appendage past his lips to explore his mouth. He could tell she wasn't experienced at kissing like this (not that he really had any idea about it either) and her movements were hesitant. When he twisted his own tongue around hers, she relaxed.

 

When they pulled back for air, Inuyasha smiled at her.

 

“Did you know I never kissed anyone in my human form before?”

 

Kagome gave him a dazzling smile and rested her brow against his.

 

“It may take me time, but I want to be with you Kagome. My future is with you.”

 

“Just as mine is with you, Inuyasha. I will stay by you, always.”

 

The end

 

A/N: Just a little bit of sweet fluff inspired by the latest string of manga entries. I'm a firm believer that no matter what that dense hanyou loves Kagome. Now all he as to do is show it just a little bit.