InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Identity Crisis ❯ Chapter Six ( Chapter 6 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

Chapter Six

D-did I just… dream about having sex with Miroku?

Sango flopped back against her futon. It was still dark, but barely. It would be dawn soon. A tired, achy feeling washed over her. It was entirely too early to be awake, but she did not think she could get back to sleep. Not after that dream, anyway.

She glanced around her, trying to get her bearings. Nearby, Kagome slept peacefully beside Kirara and Shippo. She could just make out Miroku's form where he sat, a respectable distance away, leaning against one wall; the monk had stuck around even after she went to sleep.

She blushed anew to see the object of her dream so close by. Embarrassment turned to abject horror when she realized that not only had he been in the same room with her while she was dreaming of making love to him, but he was also awake and watching her with what looked like keen interest.

"Bad dream?" He spoke so quietly that she almost did not hear him.

She shook her head. "N-not exactly."

"Perhaps you would care to share? It sounded like you were having quite a dream…"

Mortified, she managed to get out, "It's none of your business!" before fleeing to the safety of the veranda.

Glad for the solitude, she sat near the edge of the porch and watched the sky grow lighter over the forest. It felt nice to have some time alone for once, though it was a bit reassuring to know that her friends were close by, after what had happened last night.

She let her thoughts drift aimlessly, plucking idly at the dew-wet weeds that grew near the veranda. She thought of home, wondering if her people would be ashamed of her now. She had completely failed to sense the demon, and had even become its prisoner and been used as bait against her friends.

A demon slayer, touted as the best of her village, but caught so easily…

Her brow furrowed in consternation. A nagging voice in her head, which sounded distinctly like her conscience, berated her angrily, buoyed by her growing sense of shame and weakness. She had led her friends into a trap… She should have known better. Should have done… something… to prevent this.

She was still sulking outside when Miroku and the others finally emerged.

Kagome, with a yawning Kirara cuddled in her arms and Shippo balanced precariously on one shoulder, glanced around worriedly. "Inuyasha hasn't come back yet?"

Almost before she had finished the question, the hanyou dropped out of a nearby tree with an emphatic, "Keh."

Sango was glad for the distraction, though she kept one eye on Miroku, who was inching closer to her every second. But rather than accosting Sango, he spoke to Inuyasha. "Did you find anything?"

The hanyou humphed and looked away. "There's a whole maze of tunnels under there, but I couldn't sniff anything out."

Kirara leapt from Kagome's arms as the priestess shrugged. "So? Miroku and Sango killed the demon last night. There's nothing to find."

Inuyasha glared. "It's too easy."

With a conspiratorial glint in his eye, Miroku leaned over and whispered, "He's just mad that he didn't get a chance to fight. Or anything else."

Sango stifled a giggle as Inuyasha grumbled. "I heard that, monk!"

-----

They set off after a tense breakfast, during which Kagome had revealed that she needed to head back through the well as soon as possible for more of the tests she worried so much about.

Inuyasha carried Kagome on his back, while Sango, Miroku, and Shippo were left to ride Kirara.

They were several days' travel from Kaede's village and the well, so the plan was to travel as quickly as possible. Sango intended to make the journey, for the most part, silently. She did not relish the thought of talking with any of her comrades, least of all Miroku. They could all be so nosy when they wanted to be...

But with Kagome insisting on speed, it looked like she would be spending the next few days in close quarters with Miroku. The monk did not appear to be particularly displeased with the situation. She pried his hand off her hip for the second time and sighed.

The next few days were long and hard, spent covering as much ground as possible. For the most part, Sango was glad for the peace, but Miroku was slowly but surely beginning to drive her insane. She had hoped he might have the restraint to leave her in peace for even a few days, considering what had happened, but he was right back at it the moment they set out.

Sango spent her days fending off Miroku's attempts, which she suspected were intended more to lighten the mood than anything else, and her nights being plagued by nightmares that seemed to invade every dream. No more were her dreams filled with horrible visions of her family, dead and dying, or her brother. Now each night she returned to the demon's lair, to relive her own failure. A demon slayer, tricked and trapped so easily…

But the shame of her failure as a demon slayer was beginning to pale as she remembered more of that night. She did not think the dreams could be what really happened, as there tended to be a mix of random events leading up to her capture - some of them decidedly more embarrassing than others - but…

She had woken up naked. And Miroku had been there. And… She couldn't bear to think of it, and yet she could not help herself.

Two days later, she was still contemplating those dreams, between glares sent over her shoulder to keep Miroku in line, when Kagome called for a halt. Jerked out of her reverie, Sango realized that they were quite close to a hot spring, which was probably the reason for Kagome's sudden outburst. None of them had had a bath in days, and this was their last chance before they reached Kaede's village. Sango, having become accustomed to Kagome's insistence on stringent bathing habits, knew they were all in need of one.

Her rumbling stomach told her it was also high time they stopped for something to eat; to judge by the sun it was nearing midafternoon. It did not feel like they had been traveling that long. They had been covering so much ground so quickly that it was all starting to blur together, which was just fine with Sango.

At her mistress's command, Kirara landed in a small clearing not far from the spring. Dismounting, Sango stretched, joints popping and muscles complaining after spending so much time sitting still.

They did not even have a fire started and Inuyasha was already complaining.

"Oh, sure," he groused, "We have to get back to the well right away. Got tests to take, stuff to do! But we've got plenty of time for a stupid bath on the way!"

Kagome glared at the hanyou, fire in her eyes. "We hardly ever pass hot springs. And we can take a break, you know. It's past lunch time anyway."

"Yeah, Kagome's right. The rest of us need to eat, even if you don't," Shippo retorted, from the safety of Miroku's shoulder.

Miroku refused to let the opportunity for a break slip away. "Besides, it's about time we had something to eat. We can get lunch ready while the girls take their bath, to save time," he pointed out.

All the squabbling was beginning to make Sango nervous. She hated to see her friends fighting with each other.

Finally, Miroku put an end to the argument by physically hauling Inuyasha and Shippo off in the direction of the spring; obviously Inuyasha had been arguing simply for the sake of doing so, for he was easily led. As they disappeared from sight, Miroku shouted that it might be a good idea for the girls to make lunch - and as a bonus, they wouldn't have to deal with Inuyasha trying to eat it all.

His comment was met by a loud, but relatively good-natured, protest from the hanyou. Sango giggled to herself. Perhaps it had been his nose that had changed his tune.

Kagome did not seem so inclined to see the humor in the situation, choosing instead to begin preparing the fire and food in stony silence. Sango joined her, helping by gathering wood and keeping an eye on the boiling water, but the silence was growing increasingly awkward.

Finally, she could take it no longer and had to say something. "Kagome?"

Kagome looked up, "Hm?"

"Is something wrong?"

For a long time the young priestess did not answer, only stared glumly at the small fire.

"I told Inuyasha I needed seven days, but… that wasn't true," she said, pouting. "I just feel like I need some time to myself for a while. Things have… changed between us, Sango."

For a moment Sango feared that her friend was going to cry. "What do you mean, Kagome?"

"Well…" She paused for a long time, her face growing redder by the moment. "We used to go off together at night, to be… alone. To, uhm, you know…"

"I see," Sango said, feeling her own face grow heated. She had never really thought about discussing such things with Kagome, at least not earnestly. Sure, Kagome sometimes asked embarrassing questions about Miroku, but never anything that was meant to be taken seriously.

"But now we… don't. I – I don't know what's changed, but all of a sudden I just got… scared."

"Scared?"

Kagome nodded. "It happened after you were captured by that demon…" Sango had to wonder if Kagome really thought her friends were oblivious enough not to have noticed her frequent disappearances... and the sudden lack thereof.

Sango's response was a noncommittal shrug. She suspected that she knew why Kagome's desire to sleep with Inuyasha had suddenly vanished, but had no idea what to tell her friend. It did not seem right simply to tell her that they had most likely been controlled by the demon's whims just as surely as she had. She had not even been able to fully admit that part to Kagome yet.

"I'm worried. What if I… get pregnant? What if he changed his mind? What if when we're together he still thinks about Kikyo? Do you think …?"

Sango sighed, wondering how Kagome could miss something that was so painfully obvious to everyone else. Everyone except Inuyasha, that was. "I don't think so…"

"I just wish… I don't know… that he would just do what he always does, and things could go back to normal."

Sango agreed, but thought it best to change the subject since their lunch - amazingly quick to prepare, as were most of the things Kagome brought back from her world - was nearly ready. She did not think the boys would be much longer at the springs, either, and had no wish to be caught in such a sensitive discussion with Kagome.

Her guess turned out not to be far off, for she and Kagome were only just finishing their noodles when the boys reappeared.

They were silent; the boys taking a seat by the fire, Sango serving their lunch while Kagome dug through her bag for bath supplies. At first Sango was certain that Inuyasha kept glancing at Miroku in anger, no doubt because of something the monk had been teasing him about, but the more she watched them the more she realized that there was more concern than anger in that golden gaze.

She had to admit, if there was one emotion Inuyasha was actually good at hiding, it was concern. And now she really wondered what Miroku had said or done to earn such a reaction.

"Come on," Kagome murmured, "We'd better get going."

Nodding, Sango followed her friend down the path to the hot spring. She only glanced back once, but the boys were as inscrutable as before.

-----

Once the girls were out of sight, Miroku let out a deep sigh and sat at the base of a handy tree. His recent insomnia seemed to be catching up to him, tormenting him with feverish daydreams and a crushing sense of fatigue. He knew Inuyasha was bothered by his quietude, but decided to leave that discussion for another time.

He closed his eyes and saw Sango, her beautiful body silhouetted against the door as she shyly reached around to return his kesa to him. In his mind's eye, he caught the door before she could slide it closed, and went to her, claiming her mouth in a deep, needy kiss.

He could feel the strength of her body as she pressed eagerly against him. The Sango of his dreams not only allowed him to cup that wonderful butt in both hands, she enjoyed it.

She was beautiful beyond words and he had wanted this, wanted her for so long…

But even in his daydreams the room at the inn melted away and became again the demon's lair, and Sango lost in the demon's spell. Miroku swore under his breath, feeling his whole body grow tense with anger as bubbling rage replaced desire.

He had invested so much time - and so much of himself - in winning Sango over, and now the gulf between them loomed wider than ever, in the face of fear, confusion, and Sango's reticence in the face of lost memories. Death was too easy for that demon. It deserved a painful, lingering existence -

Miroku opened his eyes, aware that Inuyasha was now crouching nearby and could probably hear him muttering to himself. The hanyou's ears swiveled and twitched, straining to hear something. Miroku had a good idea what he was listening for. Lately he had taken to listening in on Sango and Kagome's private bath time conversations, searching for reassurance, no doubt.

It had, of course, not escaped Miroku's notice that Inuyasha and Kagome had not snuck off in the middle of the night since they had set out for Kaede's village. In fact, they had been acting positively skittish around one another for the entire journey. He had merely chalked it up to Inuyasha's nervousness in the wake of finding out the extent of the demon's influence, particularly with regards to the rather touchy subject of sex, but with those two nothing could ever be easy.

"You know, Kagome will be furious if she finds out you were eavesdropping," he pointed out, finally.

Inuyasha startled badly at the sudden interruption, then turned to glare at Miroku. "You'd better not even think of telling –" He trailed off as Miroku quirked a brow and inclined his head slightly to one side, indicating Shippo. The young kitsune was busily digging through Kagome's backpack in search of candy, but there was no way he could have missed Inuyasha's less than subtle attempts at listening in on the girls' conversation. In fact, he had only started the frantic digging when Miroku reprimanded Inuyasha.

"Oi, brat." In the blink of an eye, Inuyasha was standing beside the pack, holding Shippo menacingly by the back of his shirt. "If you know what's good for you, you won't breathe a word of this to Kagome. Got it?"

"I wasn't doing anything!" Shippo protested, swinging his arms and legs mightily. "Lemme go! Why do you always have to be so mean to me, Inuyasha?"

Sighing, Miroku added, "That's not quite what I had in mind. You know, one of these days you might try diplomacy." Inuyasha glared at him as he pulled the last lollipop - swiped from Kagome's pack that morning - from its hiding place in his robe, sandwiched between a few stray sutras.

"I believe you were looking for this?" he asked solemnly.

With one last skeptical glare in Inuyasha's direction, Shippo nodded.

Satisfied, Miroku nodded and ordered, "Put him down, Inuyasha." Inuyasha released his grip on Shippo, feigning ignorance when the fox kit landed soundly on his rump. Kneeling down to Shippo's level, Miroku whispered conspiratorially, "If you'll keep quiet about what you saw and heard just now, and what you may see and hear in the next few minutes, I'll give this to you." He twirled the stem of the candy idly between his fingers.

"Yeah! Gimme!" Shippo lunged for the candy, but Miroku managed to keep it out of his grasp.

"Promise first."

"I promise I won't tell," Shippo said, frowning. The look in his eyes said he would tell in a second, if he thought the ensuing mayhem might be entertaining.

Good enough. Miroku tossed the lollipop in his direction, adding, "You had better keep your word, or next time I'll let Inuyasha have his way."

Shippo ran off to safety - which consisted of hiding behind Kirara - to enjoy his prize and Miroku barely had time to stand up before Inuyasha rounded on him angrily.

"What are you trying to prove, monk?"

"I thought that perhaps you would benefit from an example," Miroku explained. "As Kagome could explain, violence is not always the answer. In fact, it often makes things worse."

"Keh. What makes you think I ought to take advice from the likes of you?"

"Well, I may have noticed," he began, ready to flee at the earliest sign of aggression from the hanyou, "that you have been having difficulties with Kagome lately."

"I ain't having no problems with nobody," the hanyou retorted, crossing his arms angrily over his chest.

Miroku quirked a brow. "Really, now?" he asked, as Inuyasha added, "'Sides, it's none of your business anyway."

Grinning, Miroku prodded, "As I recall, you were sleeping with her every night, and now you're not. I can only assume –"

"If you know what's good for you, you'll shove it, monk."

Judging this to be the wisest course of action if he wished to remain in one piece, Miroku shut up.

-----

They arrived at Kaede's village the next morning.

Sango had hoped to start feeling better as they drew closer to what had become their base of operations, but things had just seemed to get worse as the days went on. Now she was looking forward merely to a respite from all the travel. Kagome had asked for seven days, but she doubted Inuyasha would be patient enough for that, especially if he found out she did not necessarily need to spend all seven days in her world.

Still, a break would be nice, even if Kaede's village seemed somehow less welcoming than usual.

Shortly after arriving, the group went with Kagome to the well, to bid her farewell and to wish her good luck with her tests, even if they still did not fully understand the reason or importance for such things.

When the familiar flash of blue light had finally faded, the group went their separate ways. Inuyasha disappeared into the forest, and Sango, realizing that Miroku had already disappeared as well, headed back to the village with Shippo and Kaede. She thought it a bit odd that the old priestess had accompanied them into the forest, but perhaps she had simply sensed the tension between them and had sought to ease it in any way she could. Her presence was comforting to Sango, who was beginning to feel relaxed - or trying to - for the first time in many days.

She walked slowly, glad for Kaede's slow pace and the animated chatter between the priestess and fox demon. She even let Kaede talk her into helping out that afternoon. It felt good to help with the chores; the activity kept her mind more on what she was doing and less on what was really bothering her.

But by late afternoon, the chores were done, and Kaede had gone into the village to tend to the needs of the villagers, leaving Sango alone with her thoughts. In the absence of her friends, she found the silence stifling and took to wandering in the forest nearby. She did not know if she would stumble upon Inuyasha or Miroku, but it felt better to be moving than simply sitting and waiting.

She had been meandering among the trees for a while when a sudden rustling of branches caught her attention and she realized she had unconsciously been heading back to the well.

Sango could not keep a smile from tugging at the corners of her mouth when she caught sight of Inuyasha sneaking deeper into the forest. He was heading toward the well. Not even an entire day had passed, and he was already going to Kagome. Such dedication…

Suddenly a hand closed around her wrist.

Recoiling instinctively, Sango yanked her hand back. She realized too late and with no little chagrin that it was just Miroku.

He ignored her surprise and embarrassment. "Come on. If we leave now, we can be back before Inuyasha returns."

She pulled again but he would not release her. "Leave? What are you talking about? Where would we go? What would we do?"

Miroku held her gaze, an unusually serious look upon his face. Sango felt her anger melting away. She could see weariness lurking behind those eyes, and had to fight hard against the urge to touch his face; she yearned to comfort him, to ease whatever burden was tormenting him now.

"We have to go back to where we fought that demon."

She knew what he was talking about, and hated it. "I don't know what you mean."

"The nightmares. They're getting worse, aren't they?"