InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Into the Sengoku Jidai: A Survivor Story ❯ Down the Well and the Land Without a Watch ( Chapter 2 )

Chapter 2: Down the Well and the Land Without a Watch

"What in the blue, frozen over hell are you doing?" Elli asked in a rather blonde manner. Kristen looked back at her with cutesy, happy eyes. This frightened Elli so much that she screamed and jumped into the well, the large backlash wind pulling Kristen and their bags with her. When our protagonists reached the bottom of the well Elli's bag filled with seemingly useless and rather obtrusive objects fell right on top of them (seems they were good for something) but, failed to kill them (I take that back).

(At least four hours later. . .we're not sure as our protagonists forgot to bring a watch)

Kristen. . .I mean Chun Li and Sakura Kinomoto were lying at the bottom of the squarish type well (go figure). Kristen, still in her Japanese schoolgirl outfit, was the first to regain consciousness. She was moaning and groaning and twitching until she sat bolt upright and yelled, "NOT THE PUDDING!!!" which then woke Elli up who said. . .well, I don't know what she said (STOP YELLING AT ME!!). Anyway, after they regained their senses and stopped flailing around. . .I SAID STOP FLAILING AROUND. . .Elli said, "Wow Ren-san we must be in that dark bone something well in that shrine that belonged to. . ."

"SHUT UP!" Ren-san yelled before she could finish, "Let's just get out of here!" She sniffed the air and suddenly became woozy. Elli looked at her.

"Oh no! You can't get out of carrying your crap a. . ." before she could finish (yet again) Kristen did a rather fake and rather fake and rather dramatic impression of a faint. (with her tongue hanging out of the side of her mouth and everything. . .let me tell you, not a pretty sight. . .) Elli sighed heavily as she picked up all of the stuff and proceeded up the side of the well using mainly her teeth and a toothpick and once again Kristen laughed derisively as she jumped on Elli's back making her carry yet another object. When Elli finally got out of the well she dropped all of the bags and started panting heavily until she saw a shocked looking Kristen out of the corner of her eye.

"What's wrong Ren-san?" she asked. Kristen slowly turned to her.

"HOLY BEJESUS TOTO!!! I DON'T THINK WE ARE IN AKANSAS ANYMORE!!!!"

Elli took a quick look around and seemed to brighten.

"Hey. . .maybe we're in the feudal era tha. . ."

"SHUT UP!!!" Kristen cut her off in mid-sentence and jumped off of her. Elli jumped back in surprise then looked down.

"Kristen. . .that hurt. . ."

Elli guessed that Kristen hadn't heard her because she was not answering (and also because she is far to child-like to accept the truth. . .Kristen just didn't care). Elli decided to take a look around when she heard some sounds. Mostly people yelling things along the line of 'Jackass'.

"Do you hear that Elli?" She was about to say duh when Kristen added, "It's the voices of men!!! And I'm looking for some lovin!" (obviously raging hormones. . .and furthermore the after-effects of alcohol)

Kristen darted off in the direction of the voices, leaving Elli (who, from now on, in these situations, will be referred to as bellhop) to once again lug the bags of seemingly useless objects and dominatrix paraphernalia.

While they were on their merry way to see these men they ran into a drug dealer named Crazy Ass Blonde White Girl (or for those of you that are technical, Maegan LeBaron. . .Boy did she have a stash!). When Kristen and Elli were walking past a mysterious looking tree, Crazy Ass Blonde White Girl jumped out at them and flung her trench coat open. Kristen and Elli screamed when they saw what was inside. No, Crazy Ass Blonde White Girl was not naked. . .it was something much, much worse. . .something that would defile the dreams of happy, baby-sun loving children everywhere. . .she was dressed as Tinky Winky!!! After our protagonists got over the initial shock they realized she had drugs on her and calmed down completely.

"Yo daddy-o, what's happenin kat? Skiddely-dink skiddley-dank!" Ren-san exclaimed. (She was trying to talk the 'drug lingo' but. . .you heard her didn't you? What a fucking poser) Crazy Ass Blonde White Girl stared at her for a moment, her face scrunched up as if she was trying to decipher this strange new code, then replied, "What's crackalackin home skillet? How you like some chronic? O' maybe some crack. . .cocaine? What kina drugs yoo like foo? Ah'll give you a discount homes."

At this point Elli was completely lost. She was quite sure what a drug was, but she did know what crack and cocaine were (wow. . .now I've seen, written and heard everything. . .)

"No thanks," Elli replied, "I don't drink." (I withdraw the forward statement) She continued walking with Kristen following closely behind her as Crazy Ass Blonde White Girl Stared after them in disbelief.

They were walking for what seemed like forever when four figures came into view. Two were a short distance away from the other two who were fighting quite savagely. Kristen decided to do a male to female ratio of the people.

"Hmm. . .one girl and one. . .two. . .three guys. . ." She paused for a thought, ". . .OH NO! she's being gang raped!!!"

At that moment Kristen grabbed a vine to swing on.

"I'll save you, poor young womanized woman!!!"

She swung on her vine and scooped up the girl who was being 'gang raped' and landed on the branch of a tree. Suddenly, she had a bow and arrow. She aimed it at one of the now not squabbling men (for future reference, it's the one with the pointy human like ears) and fired. The man caught it with ease just as it was about to pierce him in the heart.

"You womanizing gang members! How could you rape an innocent woman like this?! The poor thing is scared shitless!"

The girl in question raised her eyebrow questioningly at Kristen.

"I was not being raped." She said matter-of-factly as she jumped down from the tree and rejoined a black haired male who was wearing what looked like a dress.

Finally Elli came through the bushes and froze as soon as she saw a particular man. He had long silver hair and golden eyes. He also has point ears, a purple moon on his forehead, and a large fluffy thing that could only be described as a boa.

Holy testicle Tuesday, Elli thought, that is one sexy beast!

Instantly after this thought Elli ran towards the man. When she was in range, she jumped on him sending them both to the ground. She was pinning his arms to the ground and straddling him, one leg on either side of his waist and smiling rather sadistically when she said, "YOU ARE THE SEXIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!!! I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME LIKE AN ANIMAL!!!"

The man under her seemed quite perturbed by her. The other man involved in the previous show of testosterone started laughing. Kristen looked at him and instantly began swooning. He, like the other man who was currently being sexually harassed, had long silver hair and golden eyes, but he had dog-ears.

"WOW!!!" Kristen screamed, "That has to be the sexiest dog-eared man I've ever seen. . .quite possibly the only one. . .but YEAH!!!"

She swung down on her vine once more, crashing into the object of her affection who stood, unmoved.

"Ouch. . ." Kristen groaned as she slid off of him and onto the ground. Finally, the man looked down on her. He just raised an eyebrow and his ear gave a little twitch before he turned back toward the pointy-eared one and said, "How fitting Sesshoumaru, a pretty little human woman for you."

Elli was covering Sesshoumaru (who somehow cannot get out of her grasp) with kisses. His eyes were turning red and he looked about ready to kill her when she jumped off of him and looked at Kristen. Kristen looked back and they both nodded in unison and disappeared into the bushes.

The girl that was supposedly being raped turned to the man with the dog-ears.

"Do you know those people Inu Yasha?"

"Uh, no. . .duh. . ." He turned to the man in the dress. . .err. . .black robes. "You Miroku?"

"Nope. . .no need to ask your brother. . ."

Sesshoumaru ignored Miroku's comment and got up and dusted himself off.

"Shall we recommence Inu Yasha?"

"No. . .Your girlfriend is probably waiting for you. . .Why don't you follow her?"

Just as Sesshoumaru was about to rip Inu Yasha's head off, Elli ran out of the bush in fluffy, sexy , bunny-like lingerie with fluff-covered hand-cuffs and a fluffy whip. She also had on very high high-heels with a little fluff on top. (soon the fluff will have significance) She slowly and sexily approached Sesshoumaru.

"Hello, my sexy Lord Fluffy."

Lord Fluffy's eyes widened and Inu Yasha went into a fit of laughter.

Soon after this scary sight Kristen stepped out from behind the bush. Her hair was suddenly streaked purple and she somehow had a tongue and eyebrow piercing. Her clothes consisted of mainly dominatrix-ness, except hers were not fluffy, they were all leather. She also had big slutty, come-fuck-me boots on with fishnets and accoutrements such as: whips, chains, handcuffs, paddles and a cat-of-nine-tails. Miroku's jaw dropped at the sight of them and turned to the girl next to him.

"Sango. . .why don't you get dressed up as well?"

She responded with a SUH-LAP!!! And stomped away from him. He quickly followed after her leaving the unfortunate brothers to deal with our 'protagonists.'

Our figurative Sakura and Chun-Li watched as Miroku, whom Sango hate (Or does she?), follow Sango as she pranced melodramatically out of the clearing. Sakura and Chun Li glanced at Lord Fluffy and Inu Yasha with evil eyes. Getting frightened because, lets face it, who wants to see a couple of girls dressed up as a bunny and a dominatrix staring evilly at them? Well, Lord Fluffy and Inu Yasha didn't so they got scared. So then Lord Fluffy started running the other way, pushing Inu Yasha toward them as a sort of distraction. Hahah as if. But suddenly Sakura-the-bunny mustered all her strength and called upon Johnny Depp, the Sex God, and lifted the bags of seemingly useless objects and dominatrix paraphernalia and hurled it with an almighty grunt at the two dog demons.

With a crash, the bag(s) landed on them and rendered them immobile. Inu Yasha's ears twitched cutely. Chun Li made a move to touch them but steadied herself.

"Those ears. . .they turn me on. . .I'm all hot and sweaty and stuff!!!"

"What should we do now Ren-san/Chun Li?"

"I say we. . .

::BEEP:: THIS IS ONLY A TEST ::BEEP:: THIS IS ONLY A TEST

"And then we have a nap!"

"Okay sounds like a lot of fuc ::beep resonates in background:: fun!!"

Kristen then jumped on Inu Yasha and called upon her inner sexual frustrations to somehow pin him to the ground with sex magic. The Sex God helped Elli with hers as she was now powerless and then disappeared with a wink and a shake of his ass.

"Oh Lordy" Elli said, "Me and Ren-Chun-Li-San are going to. . ."

Somewhere in Kentucky

" Ey! Children yo' powk an' beans are ready! Come n' get em'"

Back in Feudal Japan

Sakura-Elli stood up from her crouched position on the ground and wiped her hands on her bunny suit, Sesshoumaru was still on the ground, though he looked. . .untouched.

"Damn toothpick," Elli said, "Almost ripped up my bunny suit!'

Sesshoumaru stared up at Sakura-Elli.

"Aren't you going to. . .?"

Sakura-Elli said, "What? You mean deflower you?" Elli began laughing derisively. "Of course not, if I did you would see," And here she took a long black cardboard with a list of ratings on it out of her bag of seemingly useless and rather obtrusive objects and pointed at a large box with the words 'NC-17' written in red ink, "this in the beginning of the story."

Sesshoumaru stared unfazed at the girl in the bunny suit standing above him. Then he took a lazy look over at Ren-Chun-Li-San who was also standing. Sakura-Elli noticed this and said, "Now I don't know about her."

"NC-17 all the way baby!!" Kristen yelled as she jumped on Inu Yasha and began fumbling with the ties of his poofy clothing when he came to. As soon as his eyes focused on her he started screaming for help.

"Tasukete Sesshoumaru!! She's gonna rape me!!!"

Sesshoumaru's reply was a grunt and Inu Yasha knew his fate was sealed. :: Insert tombstone with ''R.I.P. Inu Yasha's virginity' written on it::

A/N: Tasukete means save me.