InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Metamorphosis. ❯ What a Girl Wants ( Chapter 37 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
~What a Girl Wants~
Kagome chewed on her fingernail as she narrowed her eyes at the hanyou. Sprawled out on her bed lying on his side, InuYasha drummed his claws impatiently as his other hand hung limply holding his cards. “Come on, wench. Either make a bet or show your cards.”
“I'm trying to make up my mind,” she informed him primly. “Now stop heckling me.”
“Heckling? Keh! Do you want more cards or not?”
Kagome raised her cards again and pondered. `I don't have a thing . . . Ugh! He'll win---again----then he'll rub my nose in it . . .'
With a melodramatic sigh, Kagome tossed her cards down. “I fold. Didn't have a thing. Figures. I hate this game.”
He snorted. “You chose it, not me.”
“Yeah,” she retorted as she gathered the cards and straightened the stack. “I don't know why you put up such a fuss about playing. You win all the time.”
“I told you, wench, you can't win because you can't lie. I can always tell from your face if you've got a decent hand or not.”
She made a face. “That's entirely unethical,” she pointed out.
“Keh! It's fair.”
She reached for his cards. He pulled them back. She reached again, and he pulled back again. “Give me your cards so I can put them up,” she told him.
“Keep your hands to yourself, grabby.”
“Give me the cards, dog-boy!”
“Come and get `em, wench.”
“Ohh . . . !”
Kagome lunged at him as he rolled onto his back. Sprawled over him, she waved her hand toward the cards that were still just out of reach. “What's the matter, Kagome? Arms not long enough?”
“Baka, my arms are fine . . . stop moving your hand.”
He chuckled. “Make me.”
“You're so asking for it, InuYasha . . .”
“Asking for what? Oops! Clumsy! Are you trying to fall on your head?” he exclaimed as she nearly toppled off the end of the bed. Catching her before she slipped, he pulled her back and proceeded to hold the cards away again. Slowly edging them toward her only to jerk them away when she reached for them, InuYasha looked a little too proud of himself when he caught her expression: a mix of laughter and consternation.
She leaned up, one hand planted in the center of his chest as she reached to snag the cards and barely missed, she laughed outright when she finally used both hands: one to catch his arm and hold it while she tugged the cards out of his hand with the other. “Ha! There!”
He sat up and grabbed one of the pocky sticks that they'd been using as poker chips. Some of them had been smashed under Kagome's knees. Most were still edible, though . . . “I let you have them.”
She giggled. “You did not.”
A soft knock on the door interrupted his retort as Mrs. Higurashi stepped inside with a tray of cookies and two glasses of milk. “Ready for a snack?” she asked pleasantly.
“Thanks, Mama,” Kagome said as she scooted off the bed to grab the tray. “I'll bring it back down later.”
Mrs. Higurashi nodded and left. InuYasha peeked at the cookies. “What are those?”
“Cookies. Have one.”
He lifted one and slowly sniffed it before biting into it. “Not bad,” he decided as he ate the rest of the cookie in one bite.
She held out a glass of milk. He made a face. “Milk's for pups,” he grumbled just before he shoved another cookie into his mouth.
She rolled her eyes more at the lack of manners than from his statement. “It isn't. Milk's very good for you, and it's great with cookies.”
He took the glass grudgingly.
Ten minutes later, all the cookies except one had been devoured. InuYasha snatched the last one before Kagome could grab it. She gasped and reached for it. “Share, you pig!”
“Nope . . . It's an eat-what-you-kill world, Kagome, and you were too slow.”
“You didn't kill the cookie, now share!”
“All right, fine!” she proclaimed as she dove for his arm.
Kagome caught his hand and held on while she bit into the cookie---and InuYasha's finger. “Oi, wench! Leave some finger, will you?”
Giggling while chewing, she let go of his hand and sat back, completely satisfied that he'd learned a lesson about taking the last cookie.
InuYasha snorted. “Your half was bigger,” he pointed out after stuffing the rest of the cookie into his mouth.
“On't awk ith youah mouf fuwah,” she told him.
“You're one to talk,” he shot back.
She managed to swallow before she choked as she giggled again. “Do as I say, not as I do?”
“Hypocrite,” InuYasha retorted, his voice muffled by the rapidly emptying milk glass.
She took his glass and gathered up the tray and the broken bits of pocky. “I'll be back. Stay out of trouble while I'm gone, okay?”
InuYasha wrinkled his nose.
She was smiling as she headed downstairs with the tray to wash out the glasses and put things away.
InuYasha was being extra nice to her, and even though she had a feeling that it was because he had found her crying, she couldn't complain. She liked it when he let his guard down and had fun. It didn't happen nearly often enough, so when it did, she cherished it.
She made quick work of putting things to rights then hurried off to brush her teeth, wondering briefly how long InuYasha's current mood would last.
“Oh, Kagome . . . I made an appointment for you to see Dr. Yoshima,” Mrs. Higurashi said as she stepped into the bathroom with an armload of towels.
Kagome wiped her mouth on a fluffy towel as her smile faded. “You what?”
“I made an appointment for you to see Dr. Yoshima,” she said again.
“I don't need to see her,” Kagome maintained, carefully keeping her tone pleasant. “I'm fine.”
Mrs. Higurashi took her time putting the towels away. “Of course you are, dear. It can't hurt to talk to her, can it?”
“I don't want to talk to her. I don't need to.”
With a sigh, Mrs. Higurashi turned back to stare at Kagome. Her concern was evident in her gaze, and Kagome lifted her chin defiantly. “I'm worried about you. I know you feel that you chose this, and that's true . . . but that doesn't mean you can't have trouble dealing with it, either.”
“And what am I supposed to say to her, Mama? I can't even tell the doctor the truth, that I wanted to have the baby for Sango and Miroku. I can't tell any of them that. I'm sorry. I'm not going.”
“Kagome, I don't ask you for much. I'm asking you now, though. I'd like you to see this psychiatrist.”
Kagome hurried out of the bathroom without answering. She wasn't sure if her anger was caused by the feelings that her mother had somehow betrayed her, but a deep-seeded aching pang ripped through her as she ran up the stairs. The idea that her mother thought she needed psychological help hurt. By the time she burst into her bedroom, she was fighting back tears and trying to keep herself from sobbing.
InuYasha sat up quickly, ears twitching as he eyed her cautiously. “Kagome? What's wrong?”
“I want to go back,” she managed as she grabbed her bag and started piling things into it. “Now.”
Though he looked confused, InuYasha didn't argue with her. No sooner did she have her bag closed than he hefted it off the bed and slung it over his shoulder.
Kagome's mom was heading toward the kitchen when InuYasha led the way down the stairs with Kagome close behind. “Bye, Mama! I'm going back now,” Kagome called in a falsely bright tone.
Mrs. Higurashi stopped and stared at her daughter. “Kagome . . . will you think about what I said?”
Kagome paused as InuYasha stepped outside. “No, I won't. I'm sorry.”
Before her mother had a chance to argue with her, Kagome pulled the door closed behind them and set off at a brisk stride toward the well-house.
“You gonna tell me what that was all about?” InuYasha asked finally.
Kagome sighed. “I just want to go back.”
Kagome stopped and stared at the ground. “She thinks I need to see the psychiatrist. She made an appointment for me.”
“I know you said they try to fix your thoughts?”
She nodded as she lifted her gaze to his face. He was frowning at some point over her head, obviously thinking about what it was she had told him.
She gasped. “You . . . you think I should go, too, don't you?”
He didn't answer right away. He didn't have to. He couldn't meet her gaze, and the way his ears drooped . . . just like when she caught him running off to see Kikyou before.
Kagome bit off a sob as she slowly backed away from him. “I thought you . . . I'm not crazy!”
InuYasha started to reach for her. Kagome backed up a step more before turning on her heel and dashing into the well-house. The eruption of soft light flashed as the time slip closed around her.
“Damn it,” InuYasha growled as he stared into the empty well. `I didn't mean . . . I don't think she's crazy . . .'
Mrs. Higurashi's shadow fell over him, and he looked back at her. “Oh, InuYasha . . . where's Kagome?”
InuYasha sighed and jerked his head toward the well. “She already went back.”
“I told her . . . I thought maybe she should see the head doctor.”
She looked surprised by his answer, and she winced slightly. “Oh . . . I see . . . and she didn't like that.”
She seemed preoccupied, as though something else were on her mind. Finally she sighed. “InuYasha . . . can I ask you something?”
Unsure if he wanted to hear anything else since all of Mrs. Higurashi's ideas lately seemed to have blown up in his face, InuYasha was tempted to hop into the well before she could ask her question. Against his better judgment, he nodded tersely.
“How did babysitting go?”
He winced. That was the question he was afraid she'd ask. Trying to shove aside the feeling that he was somehow betraying her, InuYasha admitted, “She . . . uh . . . slipped and called the pup hers.”
“Oh . . . that's not good . . .”
InuYasha shrugged. Her other words came back to him again, but somehow, he couldn't bring himself to tell her mother what she'd said then. `Maybe . . . maybe if I had another baby . . . ? My own baby . . .'
“The doctor can help her.” Mrs. Higurashi stared at the night sky, a sadness in her expression that InuYasha recognized. He'd seen the same look on his mother's face, when he'd asked her what a half-breed was . . . “And you told her that you thought she ought to go, too.”
InuYasha nodded. “Yeah.”
Mrs. Higurashi smiled apologetically. “I'm sure she didn't like hearing that but I must say, I think that it would do her good to be able to talk about her feelings.” She stared at InuYasha, a thoughtful frown furrowing her brows. “This is hard on you, too, isn't it?”
InuYasha shrugged and tried to act like he didn't much care. “I just want her to be happy again.”
“I do, too.”
He climbed onto the side of the well and shook his head. “I gotta go. She has a habit of getting into trouble when I'm not there.”
Mrs. Higurashi smiled. “I never worry about her when she's there. I know you take care of her, InuYasha. Thank you.”
InuYasha snorted. “Keh. Whatever,” and he dropped into the well.
Kagome winced as she scraped her knee against the rough bark of Goshinboku. She'd come here to stare at Sango's garden in the moonlight but suddenly wanted to be in the God Tree. `It's easier with InuYasha . . .' she thought as she managed to tug herself onto the lowest branch.
It still bothered her, how quick he was to take her mother's side. Neither of them understood, not really . . .
Managing to reach the next branch without much incident, Kagome sat back with a satisfied sigh at her own accomplishment.
`I don't regret what I did . . . it isn't that, at all . . .It's just this hollow feeling in my heart . . . like a piece of me is missing . . .'
Gazing up at the nearly full moon with a frown as the spring breeze rippled through her hair, Kagome felt a single tear slip from her eye to course down her cheek. `Maybe, if I had a baby of my own . . . would I stop feeling so empty . . . ?'
She shook her head and wiped the tear off her cheek. That wasn't really an answer, was it? Surely she couldn't really think that replacing one child---a child she knew would never be hers---with another . . . would that really solve anything?
`But it would, because then I wouldn't think about what I don't have, right? Because I'd be concentrating on what I did have, instead . . .'
“Oi, wench. That's my spot.” Kagome held on as InuYasha hopped up beside her. “Don't be mad anymore, okay?”
She stared at his profile in the evening's deepening shadows. “I wasn't mad, InuYasha . . . I was . . . I don't know, but I wasn't mad.” Twisting her fingers together in a knot, she tried to find a way to say why she felt like she did. “I'm not crazy,” she said quietly. “I'm dealing with it . . . I'm dealing with . . . everything.”
The quick glance he shot her told her plainly that he didn't think she was dealing with anything, at all. He didn't remark on it, though.
“I'm sorry I got so mad at you. I'm sorry I yelled at you . . .”
“Keh. Forget about it.”
She watched the way he folded his arms together, the slight scowl that drew his eyebrows down. “I was thinking . . .”
He took off his haori and draped it over her even though she wasn't really cold. She accepted his gesture and held it closed with one hand.
“Have you ever wanted a family?”
She could feel his eyes on her; she could feel his body tense as though he were fighting to keep himself from bolting for her sake. “Ain't thought about it.”
She went on, ignoring the harshness in his tone. “Did you ever want one with . . . Kikyou?”
“Can we talk about something else?”
“I think . . . if I had a baby . . . I think that'd make me happy.”
He didn't answer right away. She snuck a peek at him only to find him staring down at the ground below. “You think too much, wench.” He shook his head and dug the vial out of his shirt. “Shake it.”
Kagome did and stifled a sigh. He didn't say anything else as he sat beside her. Sharing the silence, they stared at the moon, each lost in their own thoughts, a world away from one another.
== == == == == == == == == ==
Final Thought from InuYasha:
…She didn't forget …
Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Metamorphosis): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.