InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Never Give Up ❯ Painful Memories ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

A/N Well I have finally reposted the story "Never Give Up." There is a lot more added to it. SO even if you have read it before
please reread it because I have actually added so much! Well I hope you enjoy it. It has been edited already, but i always miss things.
Feel free to make suggestions and comments. Please be nice....


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Chapter 1 - Painful Memories

Kagome sat on her bed staring out the window, at the setting sun, with a blank expression. It was so much prettier in Feudal Japan, no
pollution. Don’t think about that, you'll just start crying again, she thought. What she wouldn’t give to go back in time and change
what had happened. Then maybe her last trip through the well wouldn’t have been such a catastrophe.


*~~*Flash back*~~*


"Ow! My arm." Cursed the silver haired hanyou, as he tripped over a root hidden by underbrush, and landed in the hot spring. “Aii!!”
He yelled, heaving himself out of the boiling hot water. He tried to take off toward the forest, for cover, but didn’t get far before,
"SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT!!!!!!!!!" An angry, unclothed, and sopping wet teenager yelled. She covered herself as best she could
and ran to the spot where her towel and backpack lay. Grabbing the two items, she ran into nearby bushes to change.
She emerged a few minutes later with her green and white uniform on. Walking over to the spot where a new hole had been made,
she peeked over the side to see how deep it was this time.
Inuyasha lay at the bottom of the hole, waiting for the spell to wear off…
Stupid girl, he thought.
Kagome looked down at the hanyou, giving him a death glare.
"YOU NEVER EVER PEEK ON A GIRL WHEN SHE IS TAKING A BATH… THAT IS SO…SO… "
"Utterly disgusting." finished Sango walking over with her clothes on, Kirara at her side growling at Inuyasha, showing sharp fangs.
"Agirato." she said to Sango. "You know, I have come to expect this of Miroku, but not of you!”
“Dirty wench!” Inuyasha scowled under his breath.
“EXCUSE ME?” Kagome shouted, infuriated. “You know I was going to ask you to come SIT with me…” With that word Inuyasha was
pulled deeper into the ground.
“Oops! Sorry bout that!” She said waving him off, as she turned to Sango and laughed.
What the hell is her problem, he wondered, it’s not like I was spying on them.
“Wow, Kagome I think we have a new record in depth.” Sango joked.
“Yup, looks like my deepest yet!” She said laughing.
Inuyasha ignored the comments and pulled himself out of the hole. He brushed the dirt off his robe.
“Inuyasha!” Miroku called over from the tree he was leaning against, “I see you have learned well. Keep up the good work!”
"SHUT UP YOU STUPID MONK!” he roared. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Turning back to Kagome he said “Stupid girl, I
wasn’t spying on you. I’m not a pervert like him!"
Brushing the last of the dirt out of his hair and off his haori he stated, "I smelt your blood and I thought, you know, something was wrong.”
Oh no! Thought Kagome. While jumping into the pool, Kagome had accidentally got her foot caught in a rock. .
"Oops." squeaked Kagome. "That was mine," she blushed. "I got my foot caught in a rock. I didn‘t really think of your sense of smell
picking up the blood. I’m sorry Inuyasha."
“No problem, baka.” said Inuyasha sarcastically. He turned around, sensing a familiar scent. His eyes scanned the area quickly,
even though he knew he would not see her. “Inuyasha.” called the wind. His ears twitched at the noise. It was so quiet, he’d almost
missed it. He knew that voice.
"Inuyasha?” Kagome asked. "What are you looking for?"
"Nothing, wench." he replied ignorantly. He sniffed the air, trying to find the direction it was coming from. The wind picked up around
him and began to push him towards the west, by the sacred tree, his tree.
"Kikyo." he whispered, barely audible
"Did you say something?" asked Sango, reaching for her boomerang.
"No nothing," he replied. He threw caution to the wind, and jumped into the air, above the trees. He landed a little ways away, and took
off running towards the tree.
Nothing my butt, thought Kagome.
"Inuyasha, where are you going?" She yelled. He ignored her and kept running.
Kagome looked in the direction he was running and felt a powerful force. It was a familiar entity. "Kikyo." she whispered. She dropped
her bag and towel and ran as fast as she could after him.
"Kagome!" Sango called after her. She tried to run, but Miroku grabbed her shoulder.
"Sango, what was that all about?" Miroku asked questioningly.
"I have no idea." she replied. “One minute Inuyasha was kissing the dirt, the next he was gone.”
"Do you think we should go after them?" he asked.
"Yes, I think this has something to do with Kikyo. Before Kagome took off after him, she whispered Kikiyo's name. She must have sensed her.”
"I see," he looked down sadly, shaking his head. "That woman is never good news."
He grabbed his staff and walked over to where Shippo was sleeping. He bent down and gently shook the kitsune. “Shippo?” He
asked.
“Uhnnn…” He said stretching his small arms, and rubbing at his sleep covered eyes. “Miroku? What is it?”
“Go back to Lady Kaeda and stay with her until we return.” Miroku commanded.
“Why? Where’s Inuyasha?” He said looking around. His eyes became worried. “And Kagome?”
“Don’t worry about them, just go.”
“But the village is a long walk from here!” He whined.
“Fine, take Kirara.” Sango said.
“Ok,” Shippo said hopping on the transformed Kirara’s back. Sango and Miroku watched as Kirara
ran into the forest, toward the village. Once Kirara and Shippo were out of sight, Miroku and Sango began running towards the direction
Inuyasha and Kagome had, minutes ago.


*~~*Inuyasha’s Forest*~~*


Kagome hid behind a tree trying to stay silent; although her heart was beating so loud she was surprised they couldn’t hear it.
She stared and watched the scene unfold in the clearing. There was Kikyo in Inuyasha's arm. Déjà vu, she thought. Where have
I seen this before? She looked on, watching, as Kikyo said something. Kagome couldn’t hear a thing as she was too far away and
didn’t have Inuyasha‘s sense of hearing. She stood helplessly watching the two. Why didn’t I bring my bow and arrows? She thought
angrily.
As Kikyo laid her head on his shoulder, she caught Kagome's eye and smiled evilly. Kagome’s heart started to race, she leaned back
on the tree, out of site. She looked around frantically. She couldn't run Inuyasha would hear her. Then he would be even angrier for
knowing that she had spied on him.
She peeked around the tree to see Kikyo whispering something in Inuyasha's ear. Inuyasha shook his head and broke
the embrace. He looked a little angry as he said something. Kikyo looked at him and nodded her head. She asked him something
one more time. Inuyasha shook his head again.
Kikyo then backed away from him and moved her arms into a praying position. She said and few words and suddenly
lurched into the air, supported by her soul-stealers… She landed right in front of the tree, which Kagome was hiding behind.
Inuyasha stood in the same position. His expression unchanged. He stared intently at where Kikyo had been. Staring as if
she was still there.
Kagome's heart literally stopped. Please don’t hurt me, please, she silently prayed.
"Kagome." Said Kikyo, breaking the silence.
What am I going to do? Am I ready to die? Kagome asked herself. Well, if I am going to die, I don’t want to die a coward.
Mustering up all the courage she had, she stepped out from behind the tree, and stood her ground.
"Kikyo." she said eyeing the woman, glad to hear her voice wasn’t as shaky as she was inside.
"Kagome,” she said pausing to look intently at her reincarnation.
Kagome stood there, staring daggers into Kikyo's soulless eyes.
"Tell me, do you love Inuyasha?" the undead miko asked.
"Is that any of your business?" Kagome retorted.
"Oh, I believe it is." she paused. "Do you know what Inuyasha was saying to me back there?" She asked motioning towards the
clearing.
Kagome shook her head, fearing what was to come.
"He was telling me that he does not love me anymore. That he has given his heart to someone else. Hmm… any guesses?"
Kagome refused to answer. Inside, she was a complete mix of emotions. She was scared, so very scared that she would
lose her life right here. But then she was so happy, she was so happy that Inuyasha had finally chosen. And the answer to Kikyo’s
question was obvious, he had chosen her. Even if she did die, at least it would be with the incredible joy of know her feelings
were mutual. Last of all, she was angry. She was angry that Kikiyo would interfere with her business. Inuyasha didn’t love her
anymore, so why couldn’t she just leave them in peace.
"You." she replied dryly, stirring Kagome from her thoughts. "He said he could never love anyone as cold as I, and that he only
loved me because he was lonely and misunderstood."
Without warning, Kikyo lunged at Kagome, grabbing her neck and pinning her to the tree. Kagome stood there unable to move,
paralysed with fear.
Kikiyo took her free hand and slowly dragged a nail across Kagome's cheek, leaving a long scratch mark. "He only loves you
because you look like me."
"T-That's not true." said Kagome struggling to get free. Kagome pulled her arm up and slapped Kikyo.
“Wench! “She snarled, pushing harder on Kagome's throat. She used her free arm to cast a quick binding spell, holding Kagome’s
arms to the tree.
"Oh, you know it is. Why would he want a useless reincarnate, when he could have me, a powerful Miko."
Kagome squirmed staring into Kikyo's eyes. "Inu.. Inu.. Inuyasha!" she called in a hoarse voice.
"Oh he cant save you now. He's looking at a shadow. He still believes I’m there. He's in a trance. He wont be able to see or hear you."
She laughed coldly.
Kagome looked helplessly over at him. Her heart began to sink. I'm going to die, she thought. This is the end.
“I refuse to die!“ she stated. She didn’t plan on dying so easily. She would fight until the very end.
Since her arms were bound to the tree, she tried to move her legs. Finding that she could, she raised a leg, and kicked
Kikyo in the stomach.
Kikiyo, not expecting this sudden attack, was thrown back.
Kagome used this time to run over to the clearing where Inuyasha was. Kikyo bound after her, followed by her soul-stealers. Kagome
grabbed Inuyasha‘s shoulder, but it was a useless attempt. He pushed her off, with more strength then needed. This sent her flying
back. She landed with a thump against a tree. She used her hands and stood up dizzily and spit blood from her mouth. She felt a
splitting pain in her head but kept standing, grabbing onto the tree for balance. She had to fight.
It's true, she thought, he really can't see or hear me. Kagome looked around and saw Kikyo running behind her. Kagome looked
around, anxiously. She spotted Kikiyo’s bow and quiver lying uselessly near a tree on the other side of the clearing.
"Oi!!" she shouted tearing off, just as Kikyo reached the spot she had been mere seconds ago.
Kagome was far enough ahead of Kikyo that she had enough time to string an arrow to the long bow. Good thing I was on the running
team, she thought blissfully.
Without wasting any time she aimed the bow at Kikyo’s chest. Kikiyo saw this and stopped dead in her tracks. She was about two feet
away from Kagome.
Kikyo," Kagome said. There’s no other way, she thought. "I tried to help you, I never did anything wrong. Why couldn‘t you just"
"Yes, yes you did." replied Kikyo. "You stole my one and only true love. You stupid useless wench. He'll never truly love you like he
did to me."
"If that love was so true then how come you so easily betrayed each other?" Kagome asked. "Can you answer that?"
Before Kikyo could answer, Kagome released the arrow, sending it zooming towards her. With wide eyes, Kikyo was sent flying back,
with the magic of the arrow. As she lay on the ground in a pool of blood, dying, she motioned for Kagome to come closer. Kagome
cautiously moved forward. She knelt down, staring into Kikyo's eyes.
"He'll… he’ll never love you." she whispered laying her head down, and closing her eyes.
As soon as Kikyo’s eyes had closed all the souls that she had stolen to stay alive were released. They broke free from Kikyo’s
chest and whistled through the sky up towards the clouds. The last soul to leave the leave the body was the part of Kagome’s soul
that had been stolen. It zoomed toward a wide eyed Kagome. The force of the impact shocked Kagome. She stumbled backwards
and fell onto her butt. She sat there feeling a sense of completion and fullness. She looked down at where Kikyo‘s lifeless body had
just been. It was gone, replaced by a pile of ashes and blood.
"Gods, what have I done?" she whispered, closing her eyes. ‘There was no other way, she was going to kill me. What have I become? "
Kikyo’s words echoed in her head. He’ll never love you. She crouched down holding her head in her hands, crying. She couldn’t have
just murdered Kikyo, what was Inuyasha going to say. She couldn’t face him. Even if he had said he loved her, she couldn’t never talk
to him. It would be to awkward. She sat there, crying silently, until she felt something grab her shoulder. She gasped as she was
pulled up. The mystery person turned her around to face him. She looked up into familiar amber eyes.
"Inu… yasha?" she whispered. He stood there, his hands on her shoulders until, finally, he spoke.
"What did you do?" he asked, looking at the pile of ashes and blood covering the ground.
"I ..uh..I..I.." she mumbled to herself.
"You what?" he asked, intensely staring at her.
"I killed Kikyo," she replied.
"You killed Kikyo. But Kikyo was with me?" he said confused.
"Uh… that was a shadow. She told me.” she said quietly, unable to look him in the eye.
"Why?" he whispered angrily.
"She was trying to kill me!" she replied angrily.
"You didnt have to kill her!" he said.
"You don’t understand! I didn't mean to kill her. I was trying to get away. It's not like you were much help." she whispered.
"Not much help? You never called me. If you wanted my help you should have asked." he replied.
"I did. I called your name and you ignored me. You just stood there. And when I grabbed you look what you did to me." she said
pulling her hair back to reveal a deep gash. “You were in a trance.”
"I never.. you’re lying.” he said. I would never hurt her, he thought.
"You don’t believe me? Why would I lie? " she asked hurt that he didn’t believe her.
"Oh, gods." he said. "This cant be happening" He looked up at the sky, then at the completed Shikon no Tama around Kagome's
neck. He felt something happening. He felt strong, very strong. His eyes glowed a bright red.
"Inuyasha, what's happening?" Kagome asked, backing away scared. He looks different. Something is wrong.
Inuyasha cracked his knuckles and looked at Kagome. He was turning full youkai. This sorrow was too much to take. He
had lost everyone he had ever loved. His mother, Kikyo, and now he was going to lose Kagome. He could tell by the look in her eyes.
He couldn’t bear the pain of his mother, and Kikyo’s death. The demon part of his soul was taking over and all he knew was he needed
the jewel, no matter what.
He grinned at Kagome, showing his fangs.
What's he doing? she thought. This isn’t like him. Kagome looked at him and noticed Tetsusaiga wasn’t hanging at his side. It had
been discarded and left useless, beside a tree.
“Inuyasha…” She said reaching out to him with pleading eyes. “Fight it… please.”
“Kagome… Get away from me…” He growled. He knew he couldn’t control it.
Kagome wasn’t thinking properly, as she stared at him, frightened. She didn’t think to use the S word. Her mind wasn’t working right.
He loved the fear he saw in her eyes. Without warning he lunged at her. She was pushed to the ground. He sat on her
stomach pinning her to the ground and viciously grabbed at her neck. At the Shikon No Tama
"NOOOOO!" she screamed putting her hand up to push his face away. A bright light shot out from it, throwing Inuyasha off her and back
a few hundred feet.
What the heck? That was just like that time with Mistress Centipede, she thought. It must be my miko powers. She got up, ignoring the
pain that was taking over her entire body. She tried to run but couldn’t. Her legs were to weak. Her knees buckled and she fell to the
ground. Inuyasha was a couple feet away, stunned from Kagome’s purifying light. He rubbed his eyes, and stood up, searching for the
young miko. Spotting her to his right, he slowly walked over to her.
“Give me the jewel, wench.” He barked.
“No!” She cried.
Miroku and Sango stood breathless, watching Inuyasha and Kagome.
“What’s he doing?” Sango whispered.
“I don’t know… Come on, I think Kagome is in danger!” He replied. He grabbed Sango by the wrist and they ran together toward
Kagome and Inuyasha.
“KAGOME!” Shouted Sango, seeing Inuyasha’s transformed state.
“Get away!” Inuyasha roared. “I cant fight it!”
“Inu… Inuyasha!” Kagome gasped.
“Kagome say the word!” Miroku shouted.
THE WORD! Kagome thought. Why didn’t I remember before.
Without wasting anymore time Kagome shouted “SIT BOY!”
Inuyasha was dragged into the ground, rendering him unconscious, at the strength from the manner in which Kagome had spoke it.

Kagome wasted no time pushing herself off the ground and running into the forest toward the well. She was extremely dizzy,
but the prospect of Inuyasha not being able to control his demon form kept her going. She knew he had turned back into a hanyou, but
she didn’t want to face him. He had tried to kill her. What’s to stop him from doing it again.
“Kagome!” Shouted Sango.
“Sango go and follow her…fast! Then take her back to Lady Kaeda’s!” instructed Miroku.
“Right.” Said Sango chasing after Kagome.

Kagome had picked up her backpack, and was continuing to hurry towards the well. She heard her friends calling her name, but she
ignored them. She wouldn’t be stopped this time.
“Kagome!” called Sango.
“Sango don’t follow me! I’m going home!”
Finally Kagome could see the well. By this time Sango had caught up to her. Sango grabbed her friend’s arm.
“Kagome don’t leave like this!” Sango warned.
“Look, I don’t care. Inuyasha can do what he likes… I’m leaving… forever.” she said.
Sango could see the pain and sadness on her friend’s face.
“Please…” Sango pleaded.

“Sango I killed Kikyo.. I cant stay here!”
Sango was stunned. Kagome killed Kikyo? But why? Sango released her grip on Kagome.
“Please.. Just come back.. Please!” Sango begged. She couldn’t live without her best friend. They were like sisters. The only family
she had.
“Don’t worry I will. Just don’t tell Inuyasha about Kikyo.. Please!” Kagome hugged Sango her tears falling onto Sango’s shoulder.
Sango nodded and hugged her friend. Kagome let go of Sango and turned around pulling her self over the side of the well, falling into
the blackness.
Sango watched her friend disappear. When Kagome could be seen no more, Sango let go and cried. The tears flowed freely down
her face.

Back at the clearing Miroku cautiously stepped toward Inuyasha.
"Inuyasha?" called Miroku. But Inuyasha didnt answer. He lay unconscious on the ground. The power was too much. His body couldn’t
handle it. Plus Kagome’s sit had been rather hard. Miroku, cautiously crept closer to him.
"Inuyasha?" he asked again. Hearing no reply he bent down and picked the hanyou up. He realized that Tetsusaiga was not at his
side. He glanced around the clearing and spotted it. He carried Inuyasha over and bent down, grabbing the sword. He then began
walking toward Lady Kaeda’s village.


*~~*End Flashback*~~*


She looked down at her cupped hands and stared into the alluring beauty of the completed Shikon no Tama. Naraku had been
destroyed and the jewel completed. So why was she sad?
She knew that she could never return to the feudal era again. She knew that she couldn’t face Inuyasha. All because of this
cursed jewel. She had lost everything because of it. Her old life, her friends here and her normality. And now her new life, in the
feudal era, and her friends there. Most of all she had lost her one true love. Why did she have to protect this stupid thing anyway.
It wasn’t fair. A single tear fell down her cheek, landing on the jewel. It sparkled and shot a rainbow of colours across the room.
She closed her hands over it, stopping the light show. The Fates could be so cruel sometimes.
"Kagome?" her mother asked opening the door a crack.
Kagome quickly rubbed her eyes. "Yes, mama?" she replied.
"I was thinking, maybe you would like to go away, you know for a holiday. It’s been so stressful for you lately."
"Hai.."
"Well, with the holidays coming up, there would be no school. So maybe you would like to rent a cabin up near the outskirts of Tokyo.
What do you think...?" Mrs Higurashi asked.
Kagome looked down at her hands.
"Hai.. I think it would be a good idea." Plus I would be able to relax and not have to think about him. She smiled a strained smile.
"Well, I was thinking maybe you could leave on Friday night. After school. You could take the train along the countryside. It would take
you right close to the cabin. I've already arranged all the details."
"Hai.. I'll start packing now so I can leave right after school tomorrow." The sooner the better, she thought.
"Hai, I'll leave you to it. But don’t stay up to late, you have school tomorrow. That is, if you‘re up to it."
“I am.“ she said.
Her mother gave her a worried look and left the room.
Kagome stood up and placed the jewel around her neck. "What am I going to do?" she asked herself.
She grabbed a suit case and began packing.

An hour later she had finished packing and collapsed on her bed, exhausted. She sat up and looked out her window. In the
fading daylight, she could see the outline of Souta and Hitomi. Cute little girl, she was. She remembered when they had helped Souta
tell Hitomi his feelings. That had been a funny day. Now the two had begun a relationship. They were barely ever apart.
Sort of like me and Inuyasha, she thought. But those days are over now.
She looked back down and saw her mother come out and tell them that Hitomi had to go home. Hitomi gave him a hug and walked off.
Those two were so care free. She craved to be young and untroubled again. She wished that she didn’t have to go through
the pain of love. She laid back down on her bed.
The past three years had killed her. She was eight-teen now, a woman. She stretched her arms out thinking about those years. She felt
bad. There had been so many lies. Not only to her friends here, but to her friends in the other era too.
She ran her finger over the cut on her cheek, the one Kikyo had caused. The doctor had said it was deep and would
leave a scar. It hurt really bad. But it wasn’t the physical pain that made it so bad. From now on, every time she looked in the mirror, she
would be reminded of the bad times. It was a constant reminder of what a horrible person she had become. And it signified that in the
end, Kikyo really had won. Even if she was dead, she had got Inuyasha. He would never love me now, she thought. He would continue
to love Kikyo, if only in memory.
If only she had admitted her true feelings for Inuyasha maybe none of this would have happened. But it wouldn’t really of mattered,
because Inuyasha had pledged his life to Kikyo. He may have said he loved me, but it wouldn’t matter. He will hate me for killing Kikyo.
She didn’t want to be around someone who hated her. She shook her head and closed her eyes, drifting into a dreamless sleep.



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A/N Well... I really hate posting on Fanfiction.net for one reason... I cant upload .wps files..... and I have to use notepad... but on notepad
I cant make the thoughts Italic... and my story gets all messed up. Sorry. If you want to read an easier to understand version of my story
add me at godess_of_the_light@hotmail.com on msn messenger. Then I will send it to you . I really hate this. Sorry....