InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ One Summer ❯ Zombies ( Chapter 5 )

No, I'm not bashing Kikyou … I swear there's a semi-logical, plot orientated explanation for this madness. It's all part of the Plan!

 

Chapter 5: Zombies

 

“To me, my zombie-brethren!” Funny. That voice was familiar.

 

No way! That could not be … and yet it was!

 

Rising above the horde of zombies, hair streaming, eyes ablaze was Kikyou.

 

Kagome stood slack-jawed as the beetle demons were mercilessly slaughtered by the zombies. Bug-bits went flying everywhere, landing haphazardly on trees and leaving sticky puddles on the ground. Kagome was splattered with a thick, puke-brown substance. Well, that was certainly going to leave a stain. Maybe she could use some of that Smelly Uncle Bud's Olde Style—no! Kagome jammed her thumbs in her ears and started whistling `The Song that Never Ends'

 

“Must not succumb to power of Uncle Bud. Must resist corporate brainwashing.” She muttered, shortly after `The Song that Never Ends' became too aggravating.

 

After the deed was done, Kikyou yelled:

 

“Today we feast!” And the zombies fell upon the beetle corpses, presumably to devour them. For sustenance. Yes. However, as soon as the yellowy zombie-teeth sank into their slick beetley-flesh, a change occurred in the corpses. A putrid, lemony-fresh smell filled the air.

 

The beetles rose from the ground, an eerie light behind their eyes, and joined the zombie horde. They formed a kick line and began to sing `Lydia the Tattooed Lady'. This was followed up by a hasty rendition of `Mr. Bojangles', with Kikyou accompanying them on a battered banjo. The whole troop then rushed shrieking into the night, leaving Kagome to stare at the spot where they had once been in amazement.

 

You don't see that every day.

 

Kagome sank to her knees, still staring. Were there even banjos in the Feudal era? Kagome was aghast at this sickening anachronism. (Also, one of the zombies was flat during the opening of `Mr. Bojangles', and, as everyone knows, that's the best part.)

 

“Kagome!”

 

She blinked.

 

“Hello? Kagome!” Inu-Yasha shook her.

 

“Inu-Yasha! The banjo! The zombies!” Her fingers had his haori in a death-grip. “The zombies!”

 

“What are you talking about?” He was unusually concerned.

 

“Kikyou! She was here … “

 

“She was? What happened?!”

 

“Zombies! A whole horde of zombies!”

 

“Let me get this straight, Kikyou and a horde of zombies just came by here?”

 

Kagome nodded.

 

Just then, Miroku, Sango and Shippo showed up, riding on Kirara. They were covered in grayish lumps of questionable origins.

 

“Kagome, Inu-Yasha!” said Sango, “Zombies!”

 

“You too?” said Kagome.

 

“Yes.” Miroku this time.

 

“Wait a minute … you were all attacked by Kikyou and a horde of zombies?”

 

“No … that's the strange thing, “said Miroku, attempting to wipe the lumps from his face and failing miserably, “we were attacked by some cockroach demons. We saw Kikyou and her … er … zombie-horde, but the zombies just ate the demons—“

 

“And then the demons turned into zombies, they all performed a few musical numbers and then they left?” said Kagome

 

“Yes, exactly!” said Miroku.

 

“And Kikyou was playing the banjo?”

 

“Ban-jo?” said Miroku, trying the word out.

 

“Banjo?” said Inu-Yasha, utterly confused.

 

“I wonder why they didn't attack us,” mused Sango.

 

“I, “grumbled Inu-Yasha, “wonder why Kikyou is hanging out with a bunch of zombies.”

 

“Well … she is sort of--” began Miroku, but Sango silenced him with the Glare of Death. (The Jab in the Ribs of Serious Injury didn't hurt either. Well, technically it did. But that was the point.)

 

“She's sort of what?” asked Inu-Yasha.

 

“Er … nothing … nothing at all …”

 

Inu-Yasha eyed him suspiciously.

 

“Say, what's that noise?” said Sango. As everyone knows, no good comes of a sentence like this. When you read a sentence like this, you know something bad is going to happen. When you hear a sentence like this, you really know something bad is going to happen; and what's more, you should probably just start running and flailing your arms right then. It'll save time.

 

Now, Kagome knew this. Sango knew this. Miroku knew this. Shippo definitely knew this, considering the stool incident. Apparently, however, Inu-Yasha did not know this. But he would learn. Oh how he would learn!

 

“Huh … let's go see then,” he said, so innocent, so trusting! He didn't know, remember. He trundled over to the source of the noise: a large bush. It was an evil bush, incidentally, it thought evil thoughts, dreamt evil dreams, and, on occasion, tripped the unsuspecting passerby. But this has no bearing on our plot whatsoever. It's good to know, though. Just for future reference. Anyway, odd, tinkling noises were emanating from within the dark recesses of the sinister shrubbery. Who knew what lurked behind the cover of the fickle foliage? Who knew what dark thing slunk between the bitter branches, what took refuge in its unctuous umbrage? Not Inu-Yasha.

 

And he aimed to find out.