InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Punishment ❯ Chapter 3: Home ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter 3: Home

 

 

“Why don't I perform my duties, my dear lady? Why don't I perform my duties as educator or husband?” Mamoru was oblivious to the obvious lack of attention Kagome was giving him. “Does my heart not bleed because I am a useless creature? Did I not suffer when, a month ago, the headman beat my wife while I lay confused with drink? Allow me to ask, young lady, if you know what it is like to plead without hope for a chance?”

 

“Yes, I have…but what do you mean `without hope'?”

 

“I mean utterly without hope, knowing beforehand that nothing will come out of it. Why than I ask, should you go? Nevertheless, knowing that you will get nothing, you turn your steps towards him and…”

 

“But than why go?” put in Kagome.

 

“But if you have nobody else, no other place to turn to! Every man needs a place to turn to…”

 

“Can any situation ever become so…so lost?”

 

“You, young lady, may I ask, are you not in a similar situation yourself?”

 

“I…no…no I am not. I do have a place to call home and…friends and…family, once…”

 

“I am sorry for the loss of your family; friends are needed in these dark times.

 

“I suppose…”

 

“Allow me to ask a last question before I return to my family, can you look truthfully upon me and say that I am not a swine?” He awaited her answer eagerly.

 

Kagome made no answer.

 

“Well, ma'am,” continued the man, with even more dignity than before, “well, ma'am, I agree that I am a swine, but think not harshly…that is to say, do not judge my family by my appearance.”

 

“Tell me of your family.” Kagome terribly missed what family she lost and wished to at least speak of the general idea of the family.

 

“We have three small children, and my wife works late into the night scrubbing and washing and bathing the children, for she can tolerate dirtiness from a swine such as myself, but will not hear of it from the children.”

 

Kagome shifted a little, the conversation had become a speech to himself, and Mamoru had completely forgotten Kagome was there until she cleared her throat to announce her presence.

 

“She is sick you know…could I fail to see it? The more I drink, the more deeply I see it. That is, indeed why I drink, to find compassion and feeling in drink…I drink because I wish to multiply my sufferings!” With the final outburst, Mamoru fell on his side in the grass and lay his head on the ground.

 

Mamoru sat up and tried to smile, but his chin began to quiver. He controlled himself, however. The look of depravity, the five nights spent traveling, combined with his painful affection for his wife and family bewildered Kagome. She was listening with close attention, yet with a feeling of discomfort.

 

“Oh, dear lady, dear lady!” Exclaimed Mamoru, recovering himself, “Oh dear lady, perhaps this all seems madness to you, as it does to all others who hear my sad tale, perhaps I am only worrying you with all these stupid and pitiful details of my life, but it is not madness to me! For I am capable of feeling it all…”

 

Mamoru struck his forehead with his fist, clenched his teeth, closed his eyes and leant his elbows heavily on his knees. But after a minute his face changed suddenly, and he looked at Kagome with an air of bravado and slyness, laughed and went on, “This morning, before the others were up, I was given all the money and valuable possessions we owned still, I bought this very bottle with them.” He held up the half empty bottle as proof of his confession.

 

“You weren't given them, were you? You took from your own family…didn't you?”

 

“Yes, my lady. And I, their own father and husband, took the last of our possessions for drink! And I am drinking it, my lady! I have already drunk it all! ...Now, who could be sorry for a wretch like me, eh? Are you sorry for me now, or not, lady? Tell me lady, are you sorry or aren't you?”

 

“Why should any one be sorry for you?” Whispered Kagome softly.

 

“Sorry! Why be sorry for me?” Exclaimed Mamoru, as if he had been waiting for those words to be spoken, than rose to his feet with outstretched arms. “Why be sorry, you say? No, there is no need to be sorry for me! I ought to be punished, punished, and not pitied! Send me to die, oh judge! Send me to die but pity your victim! Than I will come to you to die, for I thirst for affection! Do you think, you who has sold me this bottle, that it has been pleasurable to me? Affection, I sought affection at the bottom of it, and that I did not find! Oh happy be the day I fall at the feet of my creator, I shall fall at his feet and weep, and I shall understand all things! Than we shall understand…and all shall understand…and my wife and children, they shall understand also…Kami, thy kingdom come!”

 

And he sank back into the grass, weak and exhausted, not looking at Kagome, as though he had been plunged into thought and forgotten his surroundings. His words had made some impression on Kagome, she sat, not knowing what really to do at this point, so she sat and waited.

 

“Let us go, my lady,” said Mamoru, suddenly raising his head and turning to Kagome, “take me home; to my wife and children, it is time I went…”

 

Kagome had long wished to leave, and had already made up her mind to help the poor man. Mamoru proved to be much more affected in his legs than in his speech, and he leaned heavily on the young lady. As they traveled through the woods in the direction of another small town, Mamoru grew increasingly agitated.

 

“I am not afraid of my wife now,” he muttered anxiously “nor of her pulling me by the hair. What does my hair matter? My hair is nothing! That is what I will say. It will be better, in fact, if she does pull my hair, I am not afraid of that…I…it is her eyes I am afraid of…yes…her eyes. I am afraid of the sickly patches on her cheeks…and her condition. Let her beat me…it will relieve her feelings…it is better so…”

 

Kagome approached the village but stopped when Mamoru turned to the outskirts a couple hundred yards away. “You don't live in the village, here?” Kagome inquired.

 

“I have not the honor to reside in a place such as this.” Mamoru replied softly and with great sadness.

 

Kagome followed until they came upon a small clearing, there were small blankets strewn about on the floor as if someone had actually been living and sleeping in this place. Kagome knew Mamoru's wife at once. She was terribly wasted, a fairly tall, slender, shapely women with still beautiful dark brown hair and cheeks flushed with a deep red. She was walking across the small clearing with her hands clenched to her breast.

 

Her lips looked parched and her breath was heavy and uneven. Her eyes had a feverish glitter but her gaze was hard and fixed. The agitated creature was indeed a painful spectacle.

 

She appeared to Kagome to be about thirty years old, and she and Mamoru were certainly ill matched. She did not seem to notice them as they approached; she seemed to be in a sort of stupor, deaf and blind to everything.

 

The smallest child, a girl of about six, lay on the floor asleep. A boy about a year older stood in one corner crying and shaking, apparently for lack of food. The eldest child was standing by her brother with her arm, as thin as a matchstick, around his neck.

 

She was a tall and thin girl about nine years old, and her only garment was a worn and tattered blanket wrapped around her shoulders and a small kimono that might have fit her two years ago, but now barely came to her knees.

 

She was whispering to the boy to soothe him and prevent a fresh outburst of sobs, while her enormous, frightened dark eyes, which looked even larger in her pinched and terrified little face, followed her mother's movements.

 

Mamoru did not go right into the clearing, but paused before it and took in several deep breaths. At the sight of her husband and the strange girl the women paused, evidently collecting herself and wondering why such a girl would be accompanying her good-for-nothing husband.

 

Having come to some conclusion she paid her no further notice, but turned towards her husband on his knees at the edge of the carpets.

 

“Ah!” she shrieked in a frenzy, “So you've come back! Monster! …Where's the money? What have you got in your clothes? But why do you have nothing? Where's the money! Say something!”

 

And she threw herself foreword and began to ransack every fold in his clothing. Mamoru immediately raised his arms, in a submissive and humble gesture, to make the search easier. There was not a single item.

 

“Where is the money than?” she cried. “Oh, Kami, he can't have drunk it all! He took everything…”

 

Than, beside herself, she clutched his hair with a sudden swift movement and dragged him into the clearing. Mamoru himself helped, shuffling meekly on his knees after her.

 

“This is a sweet satisfaction to me! This gives me not pain but plea-ea-sure, my-y-y dear lady!” he exclaimed, while he was shaken by the hair and once had his forehead bumped on the floor.

 

The child asleep on the floor woke up and began to cry. The boy in the corner could bear it no longer, but in a state of terror flung himself crying and shivering into his sisters arms. She was trembling like a leaf.

 

“You've drunk it all, drunk it all!” wailed the poor women in despair “Hungry, they are hungry!” (she pointed at the children and wrung her hands) “And you, who are you, accursed, wretched creature, have you been drinking with him? Get out!” The women addressed Kagome.

 

Kagome left without another word and walked quickly away from the sounds of children screaming and women yelling. Tears stung her eyes, why shouldn't she just leave them? What gives them the right to be happy while she was so miserable?

 

No, better to just leave them to their unhappy lives and get on with her own misery.

 

 

-------2 Months Ago-------

 

 

“Inuyasha? Where…why?” Kagome sat, still befuddled by the vivid dream.

 

“You all right, sis? You were asleep all day, we were worried.” Souta approached his sister carefully, almost as if he was afraid of her.

 

Kagome, remembering the image of her brother lying dead, quickly launched herself at him and embraced him. “Wait…what are you doing at my house?” she asked Miroku and Sango and Shippo who were sitting against the far wall of the small hut.

 

Kagome collected her thoughts into a coherent strain and realized she was still in the feudal era, not sure what had transpired while she was asleep, Kagome looked around once again to be sure her eyes didn't deceive her.

 

Kagome felt a sudden surge of blood to her brain and was forced to lie down again. “Sis, I'm not really sure what happened either, no one can really give a decent explanation.” Souta said.

 

“I thought we could only pass through the well, Inuyasha?”

 

“Keh, hell if I know what happened, all I know is that you and your brother came out of that well together and the jewel was nowhere to be found.”

 

“Did you two wish for something on the other side of the well?” Miroku asked.

 

“Does the jewel really have that kind of power, Kagome?” Shippo ran up to Kagome and laid his hands on her arm.

 

“I don't know, it's not like we really have any substantial information about its true power.”

 

“Yeah, and you two just had to test it and waste our only wish!” Inuyasha stormed out of the small hut with everyone's eyes following after.

 

“It's my fault, sis…” Souta said softly.

 

“What are you talking about Souta?”

 

“It's my fault, I made a wish…”

 

 

 

A/N

Hope you liked the third installment of what I hope is a very promising story.

The situation with Mamoru will come up much later in the story.

*I also have a question for anyone versed well enough in the culture of feudal Japan. It is my understanding that `Kami' is a translation for the word `God'. I was wondering if it was used correctly in the speech made by Mamoru (`Kami, thy kingdom come.)*

If you would like to reach me I believe my e-mail is displayed on my author page.

I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.