InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Purity 4: Justification ❯ Acknowledgement ( Chapter 87 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
~~Chapter 87~~
~Acknowledgement~

'How the hell did this happen?'

Heaving a sigh, Kichiro scowled at his watch as he counted Gin's pulse.  Still pathetic and uneven, her heart was so weak, so tired . . . there wasn't a doubt in his mind that, had they been just a little later, she wouldn't have survived at all.

'Damn it, Gin . . . what were you thinking?'

Conflicting emotion rose inside him.  He wanted to be angry, didn't he?  He wanted to wake her and scream at her; to rail at her because he couldn't believe that she'd willingly do something as foolish as this.  On the other hand, didn't he understand well enough?  She loved Zelig Cain with all her heart.  He'd seen it in her eyes, and yet he hadn't been there when she'd needed him most.  No, he'd been off on his honeymoon, and he hadn't bothered to think that maybe—just maybe—his baby sister needed him more than ever . . .

Then again, would it have really changed a thing?  The questions were enough to drive him insane.

"So Mama called you?" Kichiro asked as the brothers raced over the skyline of Tokyo in the direction of the forest—toward home.

Ryomaru grunted in reply as the two vaulted onto the top of the next building.  "When she couldn't reach oyaji, she called me.  I just happened to be at Toga's, so we figured we'd check on her, too."  Shifting his gaze to the side, he shook his head slowly and shrugged.  "What were you doing there?"

"Belle went to see her father.  She didn't know he'd gone home.  She called me."

"You knew about all this shit?" Ryomaru demanded.

"Yeah, I knew."

"Damn, Kich . . ."

"I know; I know."

Ryomaru didn't miss a stride as he glanced down at his unconscious sister.  "She's gonna . . . She'll be all right, won't she?  You're a doctor . . . You can help her . . ."

Kichiro didn't answer right away.  "The only one who can really help her now is Zelig . . . We've just got to keep her alive until they bring him back."

"But you can do that, can't you?"

"I . . . I'll try . . ."

The gentle hand on his shoulder started him out of his glum thoughts.  Glancing down into the worried eyes of his mother, Kichiro winced and tried to smile in reassurance.

Kagome bit her lip as she grimaced at the array of wires and sensors; at the opaque white fabric tape that held the breathing tube in Gin's mouth.  "How is she?"

"She's holding on," he said.  "Don't worry.  Oyaji'll bring Zelig back."

Biting her lip, Kagome nodded slowly.  "I . . . I felt something, but I . . . I told myself that it . . . It couldn't be . . . Not my Gin . . ."

"Mama, don't," he said quickly.  "It wasn't your fault."

She didn't look pacified as she blinked the tears that gathered in her eyes.  "She looks so . . ."

"Yeah."

Kagome sighed and shook her head.  "This is my fault, isn't it?" she asked quietly, her voice as raw as the pain in her gaze as she scowled at her son.  "I knew that she and Zelig-san were closer than they let on, but—"

"It's not your fault, Mama.  It's mine."

"Yours?"

Jerking his head in reply, he couldn't meet her eyes as he stared at his sister's sleeping face.  "I knew about them, and I . . . I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone."  Heaving a sigh as he shook his head, he jammed his hands into his pockets, his hands balled into tight fists.  "I didn't think . . . Zelig never told Bellaniece that he was leaving, or I'd . . . Oh, hell, I don't know what I'd have done."

"It's not your fault," Kagome assured him, squeezing his forearm as she smiled sadly.  "She asked you to keep her secret, and you did what she wanted."

"Mama . . . you should go lie down.  I'll stay with her."

"I want to stay with her."

"Oyaji will have my ass if you end up sick, too."

Kichiro and Kagome both turned to find Ryomaru leaning casually in the doorway.  Though he appeared to be completely composed, Kichiro could feel the tenseness simmering just below his calm façade.  Glancing from his twin to his mother and back again, Kichiro nodded once as Ryomaru shoved himself away from the frame.  "It's okay, Mama.  You'll only be a couple rooms away."

She looked like she wanted to argue, but sighed as she stroked her distended belly.  "You'll come get me if—"

"She'll be fine."

Taking her time, adjusting Gin's blankets and stroking her ashen cheek with gentle fingers, Kagome sniffled and dashed a hand over her eyes before she bent down and kissed her daughter's forehead.  Only then did she allow Ryomaru to take her hand and pull her out of the room.

Dropping into the chair beside Gin's bed, Kichiro sighed and rubbed his temple with a weary hand.  It hurt to see her hooked up to the IV's, to the monitors . . . Those things that were keeping her alive were the same things that killed him just a little bit more every time he looked at them . . .

Leaning forward to adjust the heart monitor on her fingertip, he frowned as something stiff, unyielding, poked him through his shirt.

'Gin's letter . . .' he thought vaguely, pulling the pink envelope out of his pocket.  Taking a moment to brace himself as he stared at the shaky script—'Kichiro-Nii-chan', it said in his sister's handwriting—he drew a deep breath and broke the seal with his claw.

.

'Dearest Kichiro,

'I've been trying to figure out what I should say to you.  I've been thinking about this for the last couple weeks, I guess.  I thought maybe you'd understand me, if anyone does.  I thought maybe you could help them all to understand.

'You were right, you know.  Cain's the one I chose, or at least he's the one my heart chose.  I don't think I had much to do with it.  I think that it was meant to be—that I should meet him; that I should grow to love him.  I don't think I could have helped it, really.  Maybe he needed me, and I thought—at least at first—that it would be enough.  You've always told me, haven't you?  'Think with your head, Gin, not with your heart.'  Maybe I should have listened to you, but then, I can't say I'm sorry, either.

'I know you don't like him.  I wish you saw the things in him that I do.  Cain's had to deal with a lot of things alone, and you don't know what that sort of guilt can do to your heart, to your soul.  He really believes that Isabelle died because of something he did.  It's not true.  It's really not, but you see, he made this promise to her.  He promised he'd die for her.  As much as I wish it were otherwise, there's nothing I can do about it, and even if I could . . .

'I never told him, you know.  I never told him how I feel.  How could I?  And before you condemn him, think about it: if you were me, and Belle was Cain, what would you do?  Would you be able to say anything?  There's nothing to say, really, and I've come to terms with that, too.  This is my choice; my decision.  I'd rather have it this way than to sit and wonder why Cain stayed with me.  He'd never be able to live with himself if he were forced to renege on his word.  He's honorable, like Papa . . . like you.

'So I did the only thing I could do.  I let him go.  I know that I don't have much time left.  I know that every day that I wake up and see the sun rise is one of the last that I will ever see.  Don't be sad, nii-chan.  Don't let Mama or Papa or Ryo-nii be sad.  The ache inside me is a terrible thing.  The emptiness of being away from Cain is something that I never knew could hurt so much or ache so badly.  I feel myself growing weaker every day, but I've been eating, and I've been doing the things that you'd want me to do.  Thing is, I can't fight it, and I'm tired.

'I went to see everyone a few days after Cain left for good.  They seemed so unsuspecting, so normal.  I told them all, in my own way, how much I love them and how much I wish that I'd be there.  Maybe a part of me will remain.  You never know, right?  Toga-kun and Sierra-chan, and their beautiful girls . . . How I'll miss seeing those girls grow up!  Toga-kun is such a great father, and Sierra-chan . . . She and Nezumi-chan are like the sisters I never had.

'Oji-san and oba-san were like another Mama and Papa to me.  I remember climbing trees in their back yard, sitting on oji-san's knee while he worked in his study.  Oba-san always brought me milk and cookies, and oji-san never complained about the crumbs on his important papers.  I remember riding atop Shippou's shoulders while he ran around the grass making crazy horse-sounds.  Rin-san always smiled at me, and Aiko-chan always brushed my hair so Mama and Papa would never, ever know that I had more fun romping like a boy than playing quietly with my dolls.

'Ryo-nii and Nezumi-chan . . . Do you suppose they'll ever have children?  Do you think that maybe they'll tell them about me, if they do?  Gin-oba-chan . . . I wish that I had been an aunt.  I don't know if I'd have been a good one or not, but I would have tried to be.

'Mama and Papa . . . Would you tell them I'm sorry?  I never meant to let Papa down.  I never meant to make Mama cry.  It makes me wonder, you know?  I wish I could stay long enough to meet my brother (Mama swears it's a boy).  I don't think I'll be able to.  That's the hardest part of it.  I love them with all my heart, and I'm so sorry.  Tell them that for me, please?

'Lastly, nii-chan, there's you.  Please understand, and don't blame yourself.  I know you kept your promise about not telling Papa, and I know that it was difficult for you.  Thank you.  You've always been one of my heroes.  Do you remember the time I fell and scraped my knee?  I was roller skating, and I tripped.  Of course you don't.  That was so long ago, but I do, and I don't know if I ever thanked you for that.  You've always understood me, and I know it's asking a lot, but please understand me just one last time.'

.

Squeezing his eyes closed for a moment as the swell of tears blurred his vision, he bit his cheek, tasted the coppery tinge of blood, forced down the desire to smash something into bits . . . He remembered that day; of course he did.  'I was her hero . . .' How could she ever think otherwise?

.

'Just hold Bellaniece tight.  Never let her go.  Tell her you love her.  Let her tell you she loves you, too, because that's something that isn't said often enough in this world.  I love you all, but maybe I loved you best.  I leave you with all my heart, and I am so blessed to have had all of you in my life.

'Please understand, nii-chan.

'Your baby girl.'

.

Wiping away the moisture that streaked down his cheeks, Kichiro shook his head stubbornly, refused to acknowledge the tears.  He reached for her hand as he crumpled the letter against his chest.  Cradling her hand against his cheek, fighting to keep the tears as he closed his eyes and held his breath, Kichiro grimaced, face contorted in a silent scream.  'Everyone's baby girl . . .'

But the only person who could help her now was Cain.  Biting back the vicious stab of doubt that lurked in the recesses of his mind, he tried to tell himself that it had to be enough.  InuYasha and Toga would find him and bring him back, and maybe if Cain saw Gin . . . Maybe it would force him to realize just how much Gin really needed him to stay.

'Come on, old man . . . Toga . . . Hurry up, will you?'

They wouldn't be too late.  They couldn't afford to be.


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Toga rubbed a tired hand over his face as he sank back in the plush chair and unfastened his seatbelt.  Slumping to the side to let his temple rest on his fingertips, he sighed and closed his eyes.  To be completely honest, he was still a little confused as to just what was happening.  Outside of the fact that Gin and Cain had somehow managed to hide the depth of their relationship from everyone including Yasha-jiji, the situation made no sense at all.  If they were that close, why would Cain leave her, in the first place?  He was tai-youkai.  How could he not know something as base as that?

Opening his eyes, he glanced at his uncle without lifting his chin.  InuYasha was sitting forward in his seat, glaring at Tetsusaiga, the legendary sword, gripping the scabbard so tightly that his knuckles were white.  He had barely spoken a word on the trip to Maine.  Aside from Kaze no Kizu'ing the door down and leveling the sword at the center of Cain's chest with a terse demand that the artist 'fucking move it', he hadn't actually said much, at all.  Toga grimaced at the memory.

For a moment, he'd thought that Cain would be stupid enough to ignore InuYasha's demand.  Standing in the wrecked doorway, he'd regarded both InuYasha and Toga, who had been standing just behind his uncle, with a rather blank expression before he slowly turned and strode back inside.

"I don't fucking think so!" InuYasha grumbled as he moved in closer.  "He's coming back with us, or I'll cut his damn head off . . ."

"Jiji," Toga reminded him calmly, "you can't do that."

"Keh!  If you think I don't know—"

Cutting himself off abruptly as Cain reemerged from the shadows of the foyer, Toga couldn't mask his surprise as the tai-youkai descended the front porch steps and marched past them to the waiting car.  InuYasha hadn't wanted to rent the auto.  Toga, though, had been a little more level-headed at the time.  If Gin were in that bad of shape, then he wasn't at all sure what they'd find when they reached Cain's mansion.

He hadn't been far wrong, either.  Cain was discernibly thinner, face gaunt, haggard.  Dark crescent moons under his dull eyes that shadowed the deeper recesses of his expression.  His body was breaking down, wasn't it?  Did he understand what was happening at all?

In any case, it wouldn't have mattered, anyway.  They had to wait an hour or so for the flight plans to be filed before they were able to lift off.  Toga had started to worry that InuYasha was going to go maim someone if it had taken much longer than it had.  Prowling around the waiting room while he stayed as far away from Zelig as he could manage, InuYasha had showed remarkable restraint in not tearing the youkai limb from limb . . .

Toga's gaze shifted to the side.  Cain sat quietly, staring out the window with an unreadable expression; a dimness in his eyes.  He looked like he was having remarkable trouble staying alert.  Toga grimaced.

The shattering trill of a cell phone cut through the thick silence that had enveloped the cabin.  InuYasha dug it out and scowled at the caller ID.  Stomping toward the back of the plane before he answered it, he shot Cain a hostile glower as he strode past.

"Do you need anything?  A snack?  Something to drink?  Coffee?  Water?"  'A five course meal?' Toga asked as he turned to face the tai-youkai.

Cain didn't seem to have heard Toga, but he finally shook his head without taking his gaze off the window.  "No, thank you."

"You won't do her much good if you're wasted away to nothing."

Screwing his face up in a tortured wince, Cain shot Toga an almost guilty glance and shrugged.  "Just wasn't sleeping so well."

"I see . . ."

Cain sighed.  "Is anyone going to tell me why the urgency?"

"Urgency?" he echoed.

"I was under the impression that InuYasha was in a bit of a hurry," Cain clarified.

Toga stood up and wandered over to the wet bar, deliberately taking his time as he hunkered down before the small refrigerator to retrieve a couple bottles of water.  Handing one to Cain as he sat back down again, he slowly broke the seal around the cap and lifted the bottle to his lips.  "Yasha-jiji's always in a bit of a hurry."

Digesting that in silence, Cain leaned to the side to dig the small deep blue velvet jeweler's box out of his pocket.  He pressed the tiny button, and the lip flipped back.  Toga leaned in and smiled slightly, staring at the elegant yet simple solitaire diamond set in a platinum band.  "Got someone in mind for that?"

Cain seemed surprised by Toga's question, and he blushed slightly as he shot Toga an apologetic glance.  "If she'll have me."

"Do you think she won't?"

Cain shrugged and heaved a heavy sigh, staring at the ring for another moment before snapping the lid closed and sticking the box back into his pocket again.  "I don't know.  I thought . . . but she . . . I hope so."

"I think she will," Toga admitted, glancing over his shoulder to make sure his uncle was still on the phone.  Satisfied that he was, Toga sat back and rubbed his forehead.  "I don't think she has a choice about it anymore."

"Is something . . . wrong . . . with her?  With Gin?"

Toga flinched at the calculated nonchalance in Cain's tone.  Tapping a claw against his lips as he stared at the cabin floor, Cain seemed to be bracing himself for Toga's answer.  He didn't get a chance to respond.  InuYasha stomped past again, flopping back into his seat and glaring sullenly at the tai-youkai.  Since InuYasha wasn't lighting into Cain at the moment, Toga figured that Gin was still hanging on.  That was good enough, at least for now.

He just prayed that they could make it back before it was too late.


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Cain stepped out of the tunnel into the private lounge and winced.  Every bone in his body felt sore, stiff.  'Never mind that,' he thought with a scowl.  'Gin . . . I've got to see her.  I've got to make her listen; to understand . . .'

Breaking away from his travel companions, he wasted little time in navigating the airport terminal.  The sense of urgency wouldn't let go of him, and he didn't question it as he slapped open the stairwell doors and sprinted down the stairs.  Somewhere in the distance behind him, he could hear the doors slam open, could discern the echo of feet on the stairs above.

He had reached the street outside when InuYasha and Toga caught up with him.  "Where the fuck do you think you're going, bastard?" InuYasha snarled as he grabbed Cain's arm and jerked him around.

Narrowing his gaze on the hanyou, Cain yanked his arm away and snorted.  "Pfft!  Damn it, I don't have time for this . . . I've got to talk to Gin!"

"Yeah?  And just where the hell do you think she is?"

Trying not to lose what little control he had over his temper, Cain bared his fangs and growled low in his throat.  "You forced her to go back home?  Get it through your head, will you?  She's not a baby anymore, and—"

"And you don't know shit, do you?  Damn it, I don't have fucking time for this!" InuYasha spat as he turned on his heel and sprinted down the street, garnering odd looks from human pedestrians' moments before he turned down an alley and vaulted onto a building.

"What the hell is going on?" Cain growled as he started after InuYasha.

"She's at Yasha-jiji's house," Toga said as he grabbed Cain's arm and tugged him into an alley.  "Calm down, Zelig.  Losing your temper won't help her."

"What the hell is wrong with her?" Cain demanded as he leapt onto the nearest building with Toga fast on his heels.

He thought he heard Toga sigh.  "She's sick—really sick."

Cain swallowed hard and nearly faltered in his stride.

"You look like hell, you feel like shit, and you blame all that on lack of sleep and overworking, right?  Believe it if you want to; if it helps you sleep at night, but . . . If I were you, I'd be worried.  Gin Izayoi is such a tiny thing.  Do you think she's feeling okay?"

'That . . . can't be . . .'

'But she doesn't have to be, does she?  She could be right here with us.  That's where she belongs.'

Stifling a groan as he sprinted across the skyline, Cain pushed himself further, harder, needing to reach her, having to see her, desperately wanting to touch her, to know that she was all right . . .

'Hold on, baby girl . . . I'm coming to take you home . . .'


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A/N:
Kaze no Kizu: Wind Scar.
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Final Thought from Cain
:
Damn it
==========
Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Justification):  I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga.  Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al.  I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.

~Sue~