InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Savvy ❯ Chapter Twenty-Three ( Chapter 23 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
A/N: I don't own Inuyasha. Okay, I have a lot to say, so I'll try to make it short. 1. Took longer than expected because stupid me caught a stomach virus. All better now. And this chapter was a lot longer than I expected it to be! I know a lot of people aren't going to appreciate this chapter, but I felt it necessary. There will be a lovely reward for your patience in the next chapter. (Winks.) 2. The present tense is normal, and the past is in italics. Don't want anyone to be confused. 3. I have a graphics site now, at http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/bitterness.html. Not much there yet, but give me awhile! 4. Thanks for all the noms in the 2nd quarter! Love you guys!

*******

"Dear Tragedy" Bayside

*******

"Things were... okay until the night I told Kikyou," Inuyasha began, a distant light in his eyes as he spoke. "I mean, I guess we fought too much, and I know I gave in to her too much, but it never seemed like a big deal. I meant to tell her I was hanyou for a long time, but I just never did. Something always seemed to come up, or it didn't feel like the right time.

"I had to take Sango home that night after work. Miroku had just gotten his job, and he was on swing shifts for months..."

*

March 10, 2005...

"See you tomorrow,” Inuyasha told Sango as she pushed the passenger door open.

She had one foot out of the car when she turned to look at him, a thin smile on her face. "Inuyasha... if Kikyou..." She sighed. "If things don't go so great, you can come by. I don't sleep much when Miroku's not here. I'll be up."

His brow quirked before he slowly nodded. "Yeah, alright. I mean, she's probably going to be pissed, but it should be alright."

Sango blinked slowly. "Yeah. I'm sure she'll be fine. Goodnight."

*

"I thought Sango was acting weird. I knew she didn't like Kikyou, but I couldn't understand why she seemed so worried. I expected Kikyou was going to be pissed because I kept something from her, but that was all." He laughed joylessly. "I was so fucking stupid."

Kagome squeezed his hand. "No, you weren't," she said softly. "I mean, you trusted her, right?"

Inuyasha's eyes were far away as he focused on their entwined fingers. "Yeah. I guess I did..."

*

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Kikyou asked as they settled on the couch. Inuyasha could feel his anxiety building as she looked to him expectantly.

"Kikyou... There's something about me that I've never told you," he said, and took a deep breath before continuing. "It's not something many people know, but I should have told you a long time ago."

"And here I thought you came to break up with me," she replied with a slight laugh, her tense posture seeming to roll from her shoulders as she relaxed.

"Keh. You should've known better than that."

"Well, what's the big secret, then?" she asked, that trace of smile he'd grown so used to on her lips. Kikyou never used her mouth to smile; it was always in her eyes.

"It's going to sound pretty outrageous," he warned her. "Just... try to hear me out, okay?"

"Alright..."

*

"I told her everything. I started by telling her that youkai were real. I told her about my parents, and about Sesshoumaru finding me during the war and moving us here. I could tell she didn't really believe me, but she started looking uneasy when I told her I met Kagura in the late 40's. I've been working here since she took over Savvy twelve years ago. So has Shiori; she just changed her concealment spell a couple of years ago. Emily worked here before any of the rest of us. It was just... the more names I mentioned, the more nervous she looked."

*

"Why are you doing this?" Kikyou asked, her eyes glittering with anger, and Inuyasha felt his pulse quicken. This was not going as planned at all.

"What do you mean, why? I wanted you to know, Kikyou."

"Know what? All I know right now is that you're either the world's biggest asshole for making all this up, or you're crazy."

Inuyasha went still, his own anger rising. "Crazy?" he repeated softly. "Kikyou... why would I make this up?"

"I really don't know, but don't think I won't ask Kagura."

"Ask her!" he cried, causing Kikyou to flinch. "Hell, call her right now!"

Kikyou jerked her eyes away from him, a petulant expression on her face. "You won't ask her, though," Inuyasha continued, quiet once more. "You don't want to find out it's true. Part of me thought you never noticed anything, but you really just didn't want to find out, did you?"

"Notice what?" she demanded, practically spitting out her words.

"Notice
me, Kikyou! You've never once asked why I have claws, or fangs, and I've seen you look at them. You've never even said anything about how I wear a hat all the fucking time..."

*

"I was pissed," Inuyasha admitted, his thumb traveling in lazy circles over the back of Kagome's hand. "I couldn't believe she would act so childish. Not believing me... that was understandable, but she didn't even want to listen. I almost expected her to cover her ears and start singing."

"Is... is that when you showed her?" Kagome asked, and he could hear the impending pain in her voice, as if she had been there, and knew what had happened already.

"Yeah..."

*

Whipping the bandana from his head, Inuyasha held it in shaking hands. "Kikyou." He spoke as gently as possible considering the faltering grasp he held on his anger. "Kikyou, look at me."

Slowly, Kikyou turned to face him, her eyes fastening on the two furry, white ears resting on his head. Her brow furrowed deeply as her lips parted, and Inuyasha could barely make out the sound of her trembling breath. "K-Kikyou?"

She seemed frozen in place, except for her eyes, which grew larger with every second that passed, and when one of his ears twitched from being exposed to the air, she flinched visibly. He hadn't expected her to be afraid, and he had no idea what to do.

Reaching for her hand, he spoke very softly. "Kikyou, it's not--"

The second his fingers brushed against hers, Kikyou shrieked, jumping back from him. His ears flattened against his head as he winced. "Kikyou--"

"Get away from me!" she screamed, backpedaling with her feet until she was smashed against the armrest, her eyes wild with fear. He could hear her pulse racing, and he felt a lump building in his throat. A year they'd been together, and she was suddenly terrified of him?

"Kikyou, what the hell is the matter with you?" he asked, feeling frustrated, but sounding more desperate than anything. "It's just me!"

"What
are you?" she sobbed, her small frame trembling under his incredulous stare.

"I told you. I've been trying to tell you for--"

"GET OUT!" she cried, her voice breaking as frightened tears spilled from her eyes.

Inuyasha wasn't thinking as he stood, his body trying to obey her even as his mind was reeling. He took a step closer, the instinct to comfort her warring with the desire to escape. It was a mistake; Kikyou's leg struck out at him, catching him in the stomach before she scrambled onto the arm of the couch, nearly falling over the edge. "Get the hell out!" she wailed.

"Kikyou, calm down!" he cried helplessly, grasping feebly for any attempt to end this nightmare he'd somehow stepped into. She only sobbed harder, squeezing her eyes shut as if it would make him disappear. "Can't you just listen to me?"

"...I can't believe I let you touch me," she whispered, her voice barely reaching his sensitive ears, which drooped miserably when they heard the words.

"...What?" he whispered, stunned.

Her eyes met his, matching his pain with cruelty. "Get out," she growled in a flat tone. "Just... leave."

*

"I didn't know what to do," Inuyasha said, his voice strangely calm. "It seemed like it wasn't really happening, like I was watching a movie, or something. I still can't believe I remembered my bandana when I left. I guess it was just a habit, because I don't even remember driving to Sango's at all..."

*

Sango had known Kikyou might be less than accepting of Inuyasha's youkai heritage, but when she answered the knock on her door that morning, she nearly panicked at the sight of the tear-stained hanyou. She hadn't thought it possible for Inuyasha to cry.

"Inuyasha?" she breathed, her eyes wide.

"She's terrified of me," he mumbled. His golden eyes seemed even brighter with the added sheen of his tears, and Sango felt her lip trembling as she fought the urge to cry herself. She'd never dreamed of seeing Inuyasha in such a state, and it made her feel suddenly guilty. Inuyasha took care of everyone, didn't he? She'd never stopped to think that he might need the favor returned sometime.

"Come on," she told him, her voice soft as she led him into the apartment, shutting the door before she walked with him to the couch. He seemed to wake up a little, wiping hurriedly at his eyes with his shirt sleeves as she took a seat next to him. "You going to be alright?" she asked.

"Keh. I'm not dying," he replied brusquely. He shut his eyes quickly after the statement, however, looking away from her, and she noticed the slight hitch in his breath as he held back a sob.

Sango couldn't take it. "Oh, come here," she said, grabbing his shoulder, and his eyes flew open as she pulled him down to rest in her lap.

"Sango--"

"Shut it, dog boy," she told him, but her tone was still soft as she flipped his bandana off, rubbing his ear. "Whether you like it or not, I'm babying you."

"I don't need any damn babying," he growled, but the sniffle afterwards definitely took away from the surliness of his voice.

Sango smiled sadly as she looked down at him. "I beg to differ. Now, tell me what happened."

*

"I told her all of it," Inuyasha recalled. "Shit, she got so mad at Kikyou. You might not know it, but Sango's not a girl you want to piss off."

"I've noticed," Kagome giggled softly. "I don't blame her, though."

Inuyasha smiled a little at that, and wondered how he'd ever managed to find such a protective group of friends. Perhaps he was just lucky, he supposed. "Anyway, I ended up falling asleep over there, and I had to catch a ride with Sango to work that night. When I got there, Kagura told me that Kikyou had called in. Word of that got around to all the youkai that worked there, and soon they were asking questions. I had to tell them, because there was the chance that Kikyou would open her mouth about it. It's always a risk when you tell someone, and they needed to know that it hadn't gone so well.

"I tried calling her after work that night; she didn't answer. She called in the next day, and the next. That was our one year anniversary, and I didn't hear from her. I thought it was over, and that she just wasn't going to come back into work. About a week later, though, she showed up."

*

Inuyasha was in the storage closet, searching in vain for a new mop head, when a shadow fell over him. Looking up, he saw Rin in the doorway. "Kikyou's here," she told him.

He nearly dropped the mop handle he was holding. "What?"

Rin nodded. "Yeah, she just walked in. I suggest you get to her before someone else does."

Leaving the mop handle, Inuyasha quickly followed Rin back into the bar, where Kikyou was seated at the counter. "Kikyou?"

She looked up from the polished surface of the bar, and he was stricken by how cold her expression was as she stood, approaching him. "I need to talk to you," she said softly before passing him to go to the break room. His heart pounded as he followed, and he stood across from her once she came to a stop, afraid to speak.

"I'm sorry," she told him in a clipped tone, but he could see some of the feeling return to her eyes as she looked up at him.

"Kikyou..." Taking a step toward her, he tensed as she hurriedly took a step back, and he sighed shakily. "So... I guess this is over, huh?"

"...I don't know," she replied, eyeing him warily.

"Well, considering you're scared to death of me now, I can't really see us working this out," he said in a falsely pleasant tone before he turned serious again. "...Did you tell anyone?"

He knew the answer by the way her eyes darted to the floor, and he watched as she nervously wet her lips. "Kaede."

Bringing his hands up, he needlessly massaged his temples. His head didn't hurt, but it felt like it should. "Shit."

"What did you expect me to do?" she cried, crossing her arms defensively.

"Sorry. It's just-- you can't go around telling people, Kikyou. If you don't want to be with me, that's fine, but--"

"I never said that," she interrupted, something very akin to a pout on her face.

Inuyasha took a deep breath, trying to calm his fraying nerves. "Then, what do you want?" he asked.

She glanced at him cautiously. "I'm not sure. I just... I need to think."

"A week wasn't enough?" he snapped, losing the weak hold he had on his emotions.

She glared hotly at him. "What, if you suddenly discovered I had a
tail, that wouldn't be a shock for you?" Her lips quirked into a malicious smirk. "No, I suppose that would be a turn on, wouldn't it?"

"Oh, fuck this," he growled, turning to stomp from the room.

"Inuyasha!"

"What?" he snarled, spinning around to pin her with a fierce stare.

"I'm... sorry," she managed to whisper, paralyzed by his menacing expression. "I just... I don't know who you are anymore!"

"I'm the same person I was before I took the fucking hat off, Kikyou."

"...Are you?"

His shoulders slumped, and he felt suddenly weary. "You think I would have lied to you unless I had to? It's not just me I was protecting, Kikyou. If it had just been me, I would have told you sooner."

Her eyes were bright as she looked away from him. "I wish you'd never told me at all," she admitted, swallowing the burn in her throat. Looking at her, Inuyasha could think of nothing to say, so he left her alone in the hall to start his shift.

*

"We didn't speak for three days. I'd catch her staring at me, and she'd always have this sad, little pout on her face, like it was my fault I was hanyou, and if I really cared, I'd try to somehow change it. I tried ignoring her, but it was hard because I did feel bad. Kikyou could always make me feel guilty about the stupidest shit.

"That was around the time Sessoumaru finally decided to 'lower' himself, and ask Rin out. He'd been drooling over her for months, but I guess I was the only one who ever noticed it. I think she'd only been out with him once or twice the night she tore into Kikyou..."

*

Inuyasha was filling a drink order when he heard an inhuman shriek from the break room, and he left the mug he was filling only half full before he ran to the back to find a wide-eyed Kikyou cowering before Rin, who had backed her into the corner. "Rin, what the fuck?" he shouted, pulling the petite girl back. She threw him off, her violent glare never straying from Kikyou.

"Ask that fucking whore!" Rin yelled, looking like she might decide to spit on Kikyou at any moment.

"What the hell's going on?" he demanded, looking between the two women.

Kikyou didn't answer, her brow knitted in fear as she watched Rin carefully. Rin stepped forward, causing Kikyou to flinch, but she didn't fight Inuyasha as he put an arm out to stop her. "She asked me why I'd ever date an animal," Rin explained, scowling. "I don't know, Kikyou," she replied, grinning nastily. "I guess it's one of those unexplained mysteries. You know, like why Inuyasha would ever date a skank like you."

"Rin!" Inuyasha barked, silencing her with a stern look. "Break's over."

Rin simply nodded, brushing a kiss across his cheek before sashaying out of the room.

When she was gone, Inuyasha looked to Kikyou. "You okay?" he asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

She nodded feebly, taking a deep breath.

"You really might want to watch what you say," he cautioned her. "Especially if you're looking to keep your job."

"I didn't mean..." Kikyou sighed. "I wasn't trying to offend her."

"Could've fooled me," he snorted.

"I was just trying to understand, Inuyasha. It's all so confusing."

Inuyasha wet his lips thoughtfully. "Well, first of all, we're not animals. There's a difference."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled before looking up at him with pleading eyes. "I really am."

"Don't apologize to me," he told her softly. "It's Rin you pissed off."

He was turning to leave when he felt her hand on his wrist. Surprised, he looked back at her. "Then, I'll tell her I'm sorry later. It was you I was apologizing to."

"For what?" he asked tonelessly, though his thoughts were racing. She hadn't touched him since that night, and he didn't want to attach a meaning to it, unless there definitely was one.

"For acting this way," she replied. "You trusted me, and I... I really screwed up."

*

"She asked me to come over that night to talk. I told myself everything was okay after that, but it never really was. Any time I took my hat off after that day, she'd get edgy. I stopped taking it off at all after awhile. I guess some people would say she was in denial about it, but she wasn't. I knew that whenever she got angry about something. She'd say things like 'Could you fetch that for me' or 'Good boy' just to get under my skin, and play innocent about it later. I guess I'll never know why she decided to stay with me, because she could never stand the fact that I was hanyou. It was something she tried to ignore, and things just got worse and worse because of it. I couldn't take her around my friends; I didn't want to hear any more lectures or advice from them. No one could understand why I couldn't walk away. I'd just put so much into it; it seemed like a waste to give up."

He sighed. "I just kept hoping things would turn around, when it was obvious to everyone else that it was over. It wasn't until the night I smelled drugs on Kikyou that I started realizing that it was over, and that was still four months before we broke up."

*

December 18, 2005...

When he arrived at her apartment that night, his hackles were immediately up. He smelled a stranger, and they'd been there recently.

It wasn't until he got near Kikyou, who was watching television in the darkness of her bedroom, that he caught the scent of what was running through her system.

Struggling to remain calm, he took a seat next to her on the bed. "Who was here?" he asked.

"Hmm?" Her eyes never left the TV screen. "Oh. A friend."

"Really," he replied blandly. "Since when have you had friends that were dealers?"

She glanced over at him, her brow furrowing with confusion, and then deepening in anger. "Why don't you keep your damned nose to yourself sometime?" she snapped.

"Why would you do this, Kikyou?" he asked, ignoring the barb. "You haven't touched anything the whole time we've been together."

*

"Of course, she didn't have a reason, but after we fought for over an hour, she said she wouldn't do it again. She was lying; she just thought if she avoided me long enough, I wouldn't be able to smell it on her. Sometimes, I didn't. Anyone who's been around a junkie, though... they don't have to smell anything. I thought about confronting her, but I knew it wouldn't help. If I cornered her, she'd just run, and then there was no way I could help her. Kaede was visiting one night, and when she left, I made some excuse to leave, too. I followed her to work, and scared the hell out of her in the parking lot." Inuyasha chuckled at the memory. "Anyway, I told her about Kikyou, and I also found out where she was getting the money to buy her stuff."

*

"Her parents give her money?" Inuyasha asked incredulously.

Kaede nodded. "They worry about her, especially since she had to go to rehab. They never wanted her to move out."

Inuyasha was dumbfounded, and growing angrier by the second. What else had Kikyou lied to him about? "She told me they kicked her out."

"What?" Kaede shook her head in dismay. "No, that's not what happened at all. They knew something was wrong with her when she lived at home. She failed out of college, and they thought it might be drugs, but they couldn't prove anything. They tried talking to her about it, and told her that they didn't want her friends coming over anymore." She stuck her tongue out in disgust. "Really creepy people," she explained. "But Kikyou threw a fit, and left. She didn't speak to Mom or Dad for a long time. Just me. I didn't know she was using again, though."

Noticing the young girl's guilty expression, he patted her arm. "Don't sweat it. You're not around as much as I am. You should tell your parents, though. Maybe they'll stop giving her the cash."

Kaede nodded dutifully. "I will."

*

"That's when the shit hit the fan," Inuyasha recalled. "Kikyou's parents stopped giving her money, and when she found out I was at the bottom of it, she called me things that I'm not going to repeat in front of you. She was forced into rehab, and I didn't hear anything except from Kaede for about two weeks. It was around then that I decided to break things off with Kikyou, but I wanted to wait until she was better. It seemed wrong to do it while she was in the hospital. Right after I decided, though, Kikyou called me, and that's when things got really complicated. She sound so... tired..."

*

January 6, 2006...

"Inuyasha?"

His eyes widened in surprise; the number from the hospital was once he'd already memorized, but he'd expected to hear Kaede's voice. "Hey," he said in a faltering voice, trying to sound cheerful. "Feeling any better?"

She laughed softly, a sound he hadn't heard in so long. "As long as you don't bring up the food in here, yeah. I feel a lot better."

"That's good."

"I wanted to call and tell you I'm sorry. For the other day."

"Don't; it's alright."

"No, it's not. Inuyasha, you've always tried to look out for me. Thank you."

"It's... not a problem," he managed to say, blinking back tears that seemed to come from nowhere. She sounded so sick, and he was just so exhausted...

"It's nice of you to say that. I just hope... I hope you're always around to take care of me."

He could hear the question behind her words, and he knew there was no use trying to ignore it. "I'll always try," he replied, not wanting to make a promise he couldn't keep later.

"No matter what?"

He smiled sadly. She sounded better than she had in months, and he couldn't help but feel a slight bit of relief. "No matter what."

She laughed again. "So, what if taking care of me means bringing me Burger King?"

*

"It would have been nice if things stayed that way," Inuyasha continued. "They didn't, though. She was just playing nice because there was nothing else she could do. I guess she was just making sure I stayed wrapped around her finger. She got out a few weeks later, and did a complete one-eighty. She stopped speaking to her parents again, would barely speak to Kaede, and had a fit when Kagura told her she didn't want her to strip anymore."

"Why's that?" Kagome asked softly, hating to interrupt.

"She looked horrible. That's my guess, anyway. But Kikyou took her offer for being a bartender instead. She had plenty of experience at it. Back before you got here, I was the only one that worked the bar, and all of the girls were trained to work it, too. Kikyou always like doing it because we got to see each other more. At least, when things were good between us, she liked to. So on top of wanting to break up with her, I had to work right next to her every night. I got a little... stressed. I had everyone breathing down my neck, always asking me if I was okay, or wanting to know some little bit of drama about Kikyou and me. The band was constantly on my back about getting more gigs. And of course, there was Kikyou, giving me shit about how all my friends hated her, and that it wasn't right for me to talk to them if they wouldn't even speak to her."

"That's not right," Kagome couldn't help but say. "It wasn't your fault they didn't like her."

"No, it wasn't," he agreed. "Knowing that didn't make my life any easier, though.

"We finally did get a show, though. I don't think we'd had one in two months, and we had so much new material. It was even on a Sunday, so I didn't have to try to get out of work. We had practice early that afternoon, just like always, and Sango was there, just like always. Everything was perfectly normal... and then, Kikyou showed up.

"I knew there was going to be trouble, because Kikyou was constantly finding reasons for me to cancel shows, and when she told me she needed to talk to me, everyone started looking at each other. It was a little tense. But when Kikyou asked if we could go in my bedroom to talk, I didn't expect Sango to blow up."

*

February 26, 2006...

"You are
not doing this tonight," Sango announced, standing up from the couch and pinning Kikyou with an icy glare. Inuyasha gaped at her in shock, paralyzed as she marched across the room to face off with his girlfriend while the rest of the band was grinning like jackals behind him. "Inuyasha's turned down the last three offers the band's had to play, and unless you put yourself in the hospital again, he will play tonight."

Kikyou replied before Inuyasha could find his voice. "Don't pretend you have any idea what's going on," she said venomously.

"Oh, I have no idea what's going on," Sango admitted with a slight lift of her brow. "The point is,
I don't care. With you, it's always an emergency, isn't it? So, it's not any different from any other day. Why don't you just admit that you don't want Inuyasha spending time with his friends, because one day he might actually listen to us, and leave your sorry ass?"

Kikyou's step toward Sango broke Inuyasha's paralysis, and he quickly crossed the room to grab her arm before a fight could break out. Kikyou wrenched out of his grip, but made no move to strike Sango. "Kikyou, let's just go talk," Inuyasha said, but she paid no attention to him as Sango continued.

"Yeah, Kikyou. Let Inuyasha save you. Again. But I swear, if I see you outside this building, and he's not around..." She smiled grimly, making her threat quite obvious.

"Sango," Inuyasha warned quietly, pulling gently on Kikyou's arm. She finally broke her eye contact with Sango, letting Inuyasha lead her into the bedroom, where she exploded on him.

"You wonder why I hate them?" she cried, flailing her arms. Inuyasha sighed tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose to avoid the headache he knew was coming, and the action only caused Kikyou's anger to escalate as she narrowed her eyes at him. "Oh, don't act so put out," she spat. "It must be nice having so many people around that want to protect their
loyal friend."

"Kikyou..." he warned; she knew he couldn't stand when she threw her canine terms into their arguments.

She ignored him. "I swear, do you ever do anything wrong? Other than stay with me, that is?"

"You did have a reason for coming by, right?" he asked, avoiding her line of questioning, since it was only designed to start an argument.

"I came by to tell you I wouldn't be able to make it tonight. I have a doctor's appointment early in the morning."

"Another drug test?"

"Yes. I didn't come by to talk you out of your stupid show."

He pursed his lips in frustration. "Please don't call it stupid," he said in a tired voice.

"Then, what would you like me to call it?" she asked flippantly. "Pointless? Time consuming? Immature? You've been with those losers for God knows how long, you play in seedy little bars, and you don't even care about getting a record contract!"

"Because it's for
fun, Kikyou!" he cried. "It's an outlet for me, and kami knows I need one after putting up with this goddamn shit from you every other fucking day!"

They both froze after the outburst. Inuyasha couldn't believe he'd said such a thing, and Kikyou was obviously just as surprised, judging by her wide eyes. She recovered quickly, however, shooting him a baleful glare. "Putting up with me? Is that what you do?"

"Kikyou," he sighed, looking to the ceiling as if perhaps the answers to his problems were written on it.

"Well, I'll go," she said in a short tone. "Heaven forbid I force you to put up with me a second longer."

He moved to stop her, and she came to a halt immediately, expecting it from him. As their eyes met, though, Inuyasha's apology fell dead on his lips. This was his chance, wasn't it? He knew there was nothing for them; he could count the good moments between them on both hands since the night he'd confessed his nature to her.

He wasn't sure what he should say; were there any good words for leaving someone?

The words came on their own, however, and he was confused for a moment as to who had said them until he realized it was his own voice. He'd never heard it sound so broken before.

"I loved you..."

As the silence fell around them, Kikyou's expression rapidly changed. Anger, confusion, surprise, and finally horror settled on her features as she stared at him, her lips parting as she let out a shivering breath. "...Inuyasha?" she whispered, her eyebrows raising in question, as if maybe she'd misunderstood.

"Kikyou... I can't do this anymore." His voice broke on the last word, and he quickly blinked back tears as he waited for her reaction, but she only stood there, staring at him like she expected him to start laughing, to tell her he was only playing around.

After several moments, she seemed to realize that he wasn't joking. "You're... you're leaving me?" she asked breathlessly.

"I'm not happy," he confessed. "And neither are you. Kikyou... I
tried..."

"Fuck you," she hissed, her voice choked with tears as she jogged past him, leaving the room. He heard his front door slam moments later.

*

"I expected someone to come ask me what happened, but I must have sat in my room for ten minutes or longer, and I didn't hear a single word from the living room. When I finally came out, we went into the next song, and no one said anything about it until that night."

"So, you played the gig?" Kagome asked.

"Yeah. Best damned show we ever put on, too," he admitted with a silent chuckle. "When it was over, Sango asked if I broke up with Kikyou. When I said yes, the band got me drunk. I thought that was the end of it, and it was for awhile. Kikyou came into work the next afternoon, and she completely ignored me, which you know is quite difficult when you're both working the bar."

Kagome nodded, smiling sheepishly. "Yeah. I've tried it."

He smirked. "I know... I guess it was a pretty normal break up. We didn't speak for a few weeks. I got tired of pretending we were in kindergarten, though, so I finally told her if she couldn't talk to me, Kagura was going to hire someone that had vocal chords. That pissed her off, but it put us on speaking terms again, and life went back to normal for awhile. Until she started missing her shifts. She wouldn't even call. After three times, Kagura really was talking about firing her, so I finally called and asked her what the hell was going on. She went off on some tirade about how her life wasn't any of my business, but she admitted she was hung over after all of that. I told her it would be a good idea for her to call, and that it wasn't such a great idea at all for her to add another addiction to her list. She hung up on me, but the next time she decided she didn't want to show up for work, she let me know.

"The only problem with that was no one wanted to cover her shifts for her. Sango helped me out a time or two, and so did Rin, but after that, even they wouldn't do it. So, I was stuck manning the bar by myself, and trying to make up excuses for Kikyou. I don't know why I bothered, but I didn't want her to lose her job on top of everything else. It also made Kikyou a lot more pleasant to be around on the days she decided to show up. She actually started calling me to talk once a week, or so. No one understood why I still spoke to her, but I didn't want her to hate me, and I still worried about her.

"It was right before you got here that the money came up missing."

"Sango told me about it," Kagome told him, and Inuyasha nodded.

"I figured she'd told you some of it. I was the one who noticed it was missing, but I just kept telling myself I fucked up the count. I think I counted it five times before Kagura asked me what was taking so long. I didn't even have to say anything; she knew. She told Kikyou she had a month to pay to the money back, but Kikyou refused to admit she'd taken it. She worked there for three more weeks before Kagura asked if she had any of it, and that's when she walked out." He paused, seeming to recount his story silently for a moment. "I never told Kagura that Kikyou asked me to pay the money back."

"You're kidding," Kagome gasped.

He shook his head. "Nope. I told her I wouldn't do it. She said I had plenty of money, and I told her she made the same amount I did." He smiled down at her after a moment. "And then, you showed up."

"And made your life even crazier," she giggled.

You have no idea, he thought, his smile widening.

Kagome's expression turned serious, however. "I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that," she told him.

He shrugged, his smile fading. "I guess I'll be okay... once I convince myself it wasn't my fault. I'm almost there now."

"Well, I'd tell you it wasn't, but I'm pretty sure you've been told before."

"Yeah." Their eyes met, and Inuyasha was thrown by how many emotions flooded through him in the space of mere seconds. There was still fear; fear of failing himself again, of failing Kagome, and a general fear of how strongly he felt for her, but he pushed it aside. He knew that if he could make himself take the risk... it would be more than worth the pain. "Can I..." He swallowed his anxiety, a nervous smile causing the corners of his mouth to twitch slightly. "Can I stay with you tonight?"

She didn't answer; only snuggled closer to him, and that was answer enough. He reached over to turn the lamp off, settling in next to her. She was asleep within minutes, and although Inuyasha struggled to stay awake, wanting to steal as much time as he could just to relish the feel of her in his arms, he found it harder and harder to keep his eyes open, and he was soon sleeping peacefully next to her.

*******

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