InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Soul Therapy ❯ Chapter Fifteen ( Chapter 15 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: dolphingirl0113 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 02.25.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.9K | Visits: 985 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 02.25.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.9K | Visits: 985 | Status: Completed
Title: Soul Therapy
Author: dolphingirl0113
Chapter: Fifteen
Author: dolphingirl0113
Chapter: Fifteen
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
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The next week passed like he was living in some kind of homemade Eutopia, and Inuyasha was beginning to feel that he never wanted to leave. After all, Kagome's mother made him breakfast every morning, and then during the day he helped Kagome care for the shrine, in the process learning more about the woman he loved then he had in the two months of therapy and conversation since they'd first met.
He hadn't really taken her seriously when she told him she had been trained in the ancient ways of a shrine priestess, but now that he saw her at work it was comforting. He could see why, if it were possible to live off of such a life, it would be desirable. But unfortunately, the city only paid for one person to keep up the shrine, and that person was Kagome's mother.
“Earth to Inuyasha,” Kagome chuckled, waving her hand in front of his face, and he blinked several times.
“What?”
“Where were you just now? Out in space? I would believe you if you said yes.”
Her energy was so contagious he couldn't help but smile. She had that ability with him, causing him to smile for no particular reason other then simply being herself. Was this what love was really supposed to feel like?
“If I told you yes, would you respect me more?”
She blinked and grinned. “I do respect you.”
“Yeah right,” He grunted. “You should see the way you boss me around in our therapy sessions, considering Sango and Miroku aren't around to tell you otherwise.”
“Hey, it was your choice to come live with me in order to keep up your therapy. So no complaining.” She shook her finger at him to accent her point, and they both grinned.
Of course Kagome knew there was something more going on then Inuyasha suddenly being inspired to have private therapy sessions, because if that were the case they could just meet on Saturdays or Sundays at the clinic, but she didn't push the subject. She knew it probably had something to do with Kikyou, and decided that she was much happier not knowing anything, because frankly it made his presence easier to enjoy without the guilt of what she was doing weighing on her conscience.
Not that she had done anything wrong with him. In fact, they hadn't kissed once since his arrival five days ago. She was beginning to wonder if maybe he regretted the kiss, and was doing all he could to avoid one.
But then, it didn't really feel like that. It just felt like their companionship was comfortable enough without adding that extra intimacy. He confided in her about a lot of things, and she reciprocated the gesture, making any other aspects of their relationship unnecessary.
And it wasn't like he avoided being alone with her. Rather, that is all he ever was, except for meals when her mother and grandfather joined them. So Kagome decided she wasn't really bothered.
“I'm not complaining,” he replied solemnly, and it was all she could do to keep from laughing out loud.
“Whatever you say.”
They were sitting out on her porch, listening as Mrs. Higurashi cleaned up the dishes from lunch through the kitchen window. It was sunny, and both companions sighed at the beauty of the situation.
Finally Inuyasha turned to see Kagome staring straight ahead and smiled, nudging her with his shoulder. “Penny for your thoughts?”
“To be honest, I wasn't really thinking about much of anything,” she replied softly, and he believed her.
“But you were thinking about something?”
“Yes.” He smirked mischievously.
“Were you thinking about something or someone?”
Kagome reciprocated his smirk. “Someone.”
“Alright, and was this someone a man or a woman?”
“It could have been a boy or girl,” she pointed out, and he frowned. That wasn't quite what he expected to hear.
“Okay, or boy or girl,” he conceded, and watched the triumphant grin spread across her face.
“Actually, it is a man.”
“Can you ever just answer a question without adding something else?”
“What do you mean?”
“You didn't have to add that comment because you could have just answered my question since I'd provided an option.”
“Yeah, but where's the fun in that?”
That brought an all-out smile, completely genuine, to his face, because it sounded so much like something he himself would say. She did that all the time, while still maintaining her individuality.
“Okay, good point,” he admitted. “So, which man were you thinking about?”
“That's too direct of a question.”
“Whatever,” he thought for a moment, “Is he someone you know really well?”
“I think I can say that, yes.”
“And, did you meet him through work?”
“Yeah,” and there was a warm smile on her face.
He felt his confidence swell. “Does he have silver hair and amber eyes?”
“Yes,” Her smile was widening, her eyes beaming. Inuyasha sucked in a breath to get the answer he knew she would give.
“So, who is he?”
“Sesshoumaru,” she said simply, and he could have fallen over.
“W-what?” he sputtered, and Kagome looked at him with a playful glint in her eyes.
“Of course I'm thinking about you, stupid,” she teased, nudging him playfully. It took him a moment to realize she had been joking, and when he did he just crossed his arms and growled. This only caused her to laugh some more.
“So, what about me were you, um, pondering?” He finally asked.
“I was wondering why you're here,” she said finally, her voice turning completely serious. She couldn't avoid the question any more, especially since in four days she would have to return to work, and wasn't sure what he would do then.
“And I was wondering when you would ask that question,” he replied in a somewhat irritated voice. She scowled, knowing if he could he would just stand up and walk away in a huff, but his crutches were beside her, making that impossible at the moment.
“That's not fair,” she scolded, her voice somewhat cold. “I let you come to my home and live in my brother's old room across the hall from mine for nearly six days without once requiring an explanation. And now that I do, you get upset?”
“I don't see why you have to ask at all!” He retorted, his temper rising so quickly Kagome knew she was touching a sensitive subject. “If you don't want me here, just say so!”
It was amazing, they both thought, how quickly they started screaming at each other about the smallest things.
“I didn't say that, baka!” She fought back, feeling her own temper rising. “I just wanted to know if something is wrong, that's all! It's not exactly normal for a married man to move in with his wife's cousin!”
“Oh, so now you are one to obey all the rules? That isn't the impression I got that day in the park!”
Kagome felt herself blush, not to mention her heart squeezed slightly at his tone. How dare he make it sound like everything was her fault?
Seeing the look on her face, Inuyasha seemed to deflate instantly, realizing exactly what he had said, and could have kicked himself. He sighed deeply and ran his hands through his long hair.
“Man Kagome, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It's just, this who problem is something I never wanted, you know?”
“Is that what I am to you?” she asked softly, looking at her feet. “A problem?”
“No!” He wasn't sure if he felt irritated or hurt by the question. “Of course I don't think you're a problem! I think I'm the problem! Kikyou and I!”
Kagome glanced at him and saw the raw pain in his eyes, along with complete and utter confusion. “Inuyasha, what happened? Did you and Kikyou have a fight? Is it my fault? I'm so sorry.”
She leaned her head against his shoulder, and without thinking he pulled her closer, not answering her questions right away, but knowing she did in reality have a right to know. The fact that she hadn't pushed him for answers up to this point showed a maturity about her that was absent in most women. But then, that's why he loved her: she wasn't like other women he knew.
“Kikyou and I decided to spend a while apart, so I left. I didn't have anywhere to go, so I asked Sesshoumaru where you went and then came here. I didn't really know where else to go, since my family is all gone, except for my brother, but I've been there and done that already, and am in no hurry to share his roof again.”
“What did you fight about?”
“You don't beat around the bush, do you?”
“No, but then if I did I wouldn't be me, would I?”
He smiled at that. “No, you wouldn't.” Pulling her closer, he sighed before continuing.
“We didn't really fight, Kikyou and I, but then we didn't just have a conversation either. I assume you already know about Naraku?” Kagome nodded, and he grunted in acknowledgement. “She doesn't know if she loves him or not. Keh, how could she not know? Either she loves him or she doesn't.”
“I don't think it's that simple, Inuyasha.”
He looked down and saw Kagome looking at him with those innocent eyes of hers, and felt his heart soften like it always did in her presence. “What do you mean?”
“I think she loved you for so long that she doesn't know what it would feel like if she didn't any more. And what's more, she hasn't loved another man besides you her entire life. How could she know if she loves Naraku?”
“I still think it should be pretty easy.”
“Maybe she loves you both.” Kagome played with his red t-shirt as she spoke, and he looked at her, somewhat surprised.
“What?”
“I said maybe she loves you both. It's been said a person can love more then one person at a time on different levels. Maybe you're the love of her life, and Naraku is just a man she loves.”
“Or the other way around,” he grunted, but Kagome chose not to respond to that, so they slipped into silence for a while.
“Do you still love her?” Kagome finally asked, and felt him stiffen against her. She pulled away and looked him straight in the eyes, because she could always tell if he was lying by doing that. “Inuyasha? Please be honest with me.”
“I,” he hesitated, “I don't know if I love her.”
“And yet you claim she should know how she feels about Naraku.”
“I know, hypocritical, but I can't help it. I guess I want to know where I stand with her so I can figure out where to go from here, you know?”
“Well, maybe she needs to know where she stands with you too.”
Inuyasha couldn't help but smile. Kagome was obviously hurting in this whole situation, because either way she would lose. Kikyou was her cousin, and he was, well, he wasn't sure what he was to her, but he was something, and someone was going to get hurt to a degree. And yet, she was still trying to help.
“How are you so wise all the time?”
It was Kagome's turn to groan. “Trust me, I'm not. If I were wise, I would never have let myself lo-”, but she stopped herself, and he did a double take.
“What were you about to say?”
“Nothing,” Kagome seemed suddenly nervous. She had almost blurted her feelings to him! What a fool she was!
“You were about to say something Kagome, what is it?”
“Please don't ask me Inuyasha.”
He sighed. She was doing it again. Trying to get him to back off, just like that day in the park. He had listened then, but not this time. This time he wanted to know what she was keeping from him.
Taking her hand, he looked at her with the tenderest look he could manage. If only he knew that seeing the love in his eyes was harder for her then anything else.
“Kagome, please tell me.”
Tears came to her eyes, and Kagome suddenly fell against his chest, clutching at the fabric of his shirt desperately. “Oh god Inuyasha, please don't ask me, not now.”
“But Kagome, you say Kikyou and I need to know where we stand with each other. Maybe I want to know where I stand with you too. That could help me make a lot of decisions. Please tell me.”
But she shook her head against his chest. “I won't give you a reason to make a choice you'll regret later. Whatever decisions you make regarding your wife must not involve me.”
“But it does involve you, damn it!” He was losing his temper again, and now pushed her away from him, holding her in front of him by her arms. “Don't you get it? This involves you so much Kagome! How could it not when I love you so damn much!”
Her eyes turned as wide as saucers, and Inuyasha suddenly realized what he had just said. Oops, he thought, the cat was officially out of the bag. No, more truthfully, the cat had just shredded the bag.
“You love me?” She asked, as though she couldn't believe it. A smile crept onto his face.
“Yeah stupid, you were being so annoying that I had to take the initiative, not something that's easy for a man to do, I'll have you know.”
“Inuyasha,” she was looking at him in a new way, a completely unguarded way. “Are you sure?”
“Gods above, woman, I know how I feel alright?” He nudged her playfully, smirking as he did so. “Unlike some people I know.”
She softened then and leaned against him, pressing her lips lightly against his own in a way that was enticing. “I love you too,” she pulled back to whisper in his ear, and those four words were more beautiful to Inuyasha then any song. Turning his head, he captured her in a kiss, this time much more passionate and full of need. His whole body burned at her touch, a jolt running up and down his spine and his neck tingling as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling them closer together.
The only thing keeping him in check was the reality that they were on the steps of a very public shrine, and he couldn't pick her up and carry her somewhere else. But then, maybe that was a good thing.
Pulling away finally, he looked down to see Kagome with an absolutely dreamy look in her eyes, her lips swollen and her face glowing with an emotion he had never seen before in Kikyou: unrequited, pure, untainted love.
“Inuyasha,” she finally managed to speak, “We need to call Kikyou.”
“Why?”
“We need to talk to her.”
He sighed and pulled her against his chest. “Yeah, you're right, I'll call her tonight.”
She looked up at him. “I want to be with you when she comes.”
Looking at her for an instant, he finally smiled and nodded. “Okay, I'd like that.”
“We'll need to figure out what to say.”
“Yeah,” he nodded, but deep down he already knew what was needing to be said.
Up to that moment, Inuyasha had been sure he would eventually realize that all he felt for Kagome was passion, and that he would return to his wife. But now he realized how much he truly loved Kagome, from the very depths of his soul, and how at this point going back to Kikyou would be unkind to her and to himself.
He knew what he was going to tell her. When she came over, as painful as it would be for him, he was going to ask her for a divorce.
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The next week passed like he was living in some kind of homemade Eutopia, and Inuyasha was beginning to feel that he never wanted to leave. After all, Kagome's mother made him breakfast every morning, and then during the day he helped Kagome care for the shrine, in the process learning more about the woman he loved then he had in the two months of therapy and conversation since they'd first met.
He hadn't really taken her seriously when she told him she had been trained in the ancient ways of a shrine priestess, but now that he saw her at work it was comforting. He could see why, if it were possible to live off of such a life, it would be desirable. But unfortunately, the city only paid for one person to keep up the shrine, and that person was Kagome's mother.
“Earth to Inuyasha,” Kagome chuckled, waving her hand in front of his face, and he blinked several times.
“What?”
“Where were you just now? Out in space? I would believe you if you said yes.”
Her energy was so contagious he couldn't help but smile. She had that ability with him, causing him to smile for no particular reason other then simply being herself. Was this what love was really supposed to feel like?
“If I told you yes, would you respect me more?”
She blinked and grinned. “I do respect you.”
“Yeah right,” He grunted. “You should see the way you boss me around in our therapy sessions, considering Sango and Miroku aren't around to tell you otherwise.”
“Hey, it was your choice to come live with me in order to keep up your therapy. So no complaining.” She shook her finger at him to accent her point, and they both grinned.
Of course Kagome knew there was something more going on then Inuyasha suddenly being inspired to have private therapy sessions, because if that were the case they could just meet on Saturdays or Sundays at the clinic, but she didn't push the subject. She knew it probably had something to do with Kikyou, and decided that she was much happier not knowing anything, because frankly it made his presence easier to enjoy without the guilt of what she was doing weighing on her conscience.
Not that she had done anything wrong with him. In fact, they hadn't kissed once since his arrival five days ago. She was beginning to wonder if maybe he regretted the kiss, and was doing all he could to avoid one.
But then, it didn't really feel like that. It just felt like their companionship was comfortable enough without adding that extra intimacy. He confided in her about a lot of things, and she reciprocated the gesture, making any other aspects of their relationship unnecessary.
And it wasn't like he avoided being alone with her. Rather, that is all he ever was, except for meals when her mother and grandfather joined them. So Kagome decided she wasn't really bothered.
“I'm not complaining,” he replied solemnly, and it was all she could do to keep from laughing out loud.
“Whatever you say.”
They were sitting out on her porch, listening as Mrs. Higurashi cleaned up the dishes from lunch through the kitchen window. It was sunny, and both companions sighed at the beauty of the situation.
Finally Inuyasha turned to see Kagome staring straight ahead and smiled, nudging her with his shoulder. “Penny for your thoughts?”
“To be honest, I wasn't really thinking about much of anything,” she replied softly, and he believed her.
“But you were thinking about something?”
“Yes.” He smirked mischievously.
“Were you thinking about something or someone?”
Kagome reciprocated his smirk. “Someone.”
“Alright, and was this someone a man or a woman?”
“It could have been a boy or girl,” she pointed out, and he frowned. That wasn't quite what he expected to hear.
“Okay, or boy or girl,” he conceded, and watched the triumphant grin spread across her face.
“Actually, it is a man.”
“Can you ever just answer a question without adding something else?”
“What do you mean?”
“You didn't have to add that comment because you could have just answered my question since I'd provided an option.”
“Yeah, but where's the fun in that?”
That brought an all-out smile, completely genuine, to his face, because it sounded so much like something he himself would say. She did that all the time, while still maintaining her individuality.
“Okay, good point,” he admitted. “So, which man were you thinking about?”
“That's too direct of a question.”
“Whatever,” he thought for a moment, “Is he someone you know really well?”
“I think I can say that, yes.”
“And, did you meet him through work?”
“Yeah,” and there was a warm smile on her face.
He felt his confidence swell. “Does he have silver hair and amber eyes?”
“Yes,” Her smile was widening, her eyes beaming. Inuyasha sucked in a breath to get the answer he knew she would give.
“So, who is he?”
“Sesshoumaru,” she said simply, and he could have fallen over.
“W-what?” he sputtered, and Kagome looked at him with a playful glint in her eyes.
“Of course I'm thinking about you, stupid,” she teased, nudging him playfully. It took him a moment to realize she had been joking, and when he did he just crossed his arms and growled. This only caused her to laugh some more.
“So, what about me were you, um, pondering?” He finally asked.
“I was wondering why you're here,” she said finally, her voice turning completely serious. She couldn't avoid the question any more, especially since in four days she would have to return to work, and wasn't sure what he would do then.
“And I was wondering when you would ask that question,” he replied in a somewhat irritated voice. She scowled, knowing if he could he would just stand up and walk away in a huff, but his crutches were beside her, making that impossible at the moment.
“That's not fair,” she scolded, her voice somewhat cold. “I let you come to my home and live in my brother's old room across the hall from mine for nearly six days without once requiring an explanation. And now that I do, you get upset?”
“I don't see why you have to ask at all!” He retorted, his temper rising so quickly Kagome knew she was touching a sensitive subject. “If you don't want me here, just say so!”
It was amazing, they both thought, how quickly they started screaming at each other about the smallest things.
“I didn't say that, baka!” She fought back, feeling her own temper rising. “I just wanted to know if something is wrong, that's all! It's not exactly normal for a married man to move in with his wife's cousin!”
“Oh, so now you are one to obey all the rules? That isn't the impression I got that day in the park!”
Kagome felt herself blush, not to mention her heart squeezed slightly at his tone. How dare he make it sound like everything was her fault?
Seeing the look on her face, Inuyasha seemed to deflate instantly, realizing exactly what he had said, and could have kicked himself. He sighed deeply and ran his hands through his long hair.
“Man Kagome, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It's just, this who problem is something I never wanted, you know?”
“Is that what I am to you?” she asked softly, looking at her feet. “A problem?”
“No!” He wasn't sure if he felt irritated or hurt by the question. “Of course I don't think you're a problem! I think I'm the problem! Kikyou and I!”
Kagome glanced at him and saw the raw pain in his eyes, along with complete and utter confusion. “Inuyasha, what happened? Did you and Kikyou have a fight? Is it my fault? I'm so sorry.”
She leaned her head against his shoulder, and without thinking he pulled her closer, not answering her questions right away, but knowing she did in reality have a right to know. The fact that she hadn't pushed him for answers up to this point showed a maturity about her that was absent in most women. But then, that's why he loved her: she wasn't like other women he knew.
“Kikyou and I decided to spend a while apart, so I left. I didn't have anywhere to go, so I asked Sesshoumaru where you went and then came here. I didn't really know where else to go, since my family is all gone, except for my brother, but I've been there and done that already, and am in no hurry to share his roof again.”
“What did you fight about?”
“You don't beat around the bush, do you?”
“No, but then if I did I wouldn't be me, would I?”
He smiled at that. “No, you wouldn't.” Pulling her closer, he sighed before continuing.
“We didn't really fight, Kikyou and I, but then we didn't just have a conversation either. I assume you already know about Naraku?” Kagome nodded, and he grunted in acknowledgement. “She doesn't know if she loves him or not. Keh, how could she not know? Either she loves him or she doesn't.”
“I don't think it's that simple, Inuyasha.”
He looked down and saw Kagome looking at him with those innocent eyes of hers, and felt his heart soften like it always did in her presence. “What do you mean?”
“I think she loved you for so long that she doesn't know what it would feel like if she didn't any more. And what's more, she hasn't loved another man besides you her entire life. How could she know if she loves Naraku?”
“I still think it should be pretty easy.”
“Maybe she loves you both.” Kagome played with his red t-shirt as she spoke, and he looked at her, somewhat surprised.
“What?”
“I said maybe she loves you both. It's been said a person can love more then one person at a time on different levels. Maybe you're the love of her life, and Naraku is just a man she loves.”
“Or the other way around,” he grunted, but Kagome chose not to respond to that, so they slipped into silence for a while.
“Do you still love her?” Kagome finally asked, and felt him stiffen against her. She pulled away and looked him straight in the eyes, because she could always tell if he was lying by doing that. “Inuyasha? Please be honest with me.”
“I,” he hesitated, “I don't know if I love her.”
“And yet you claim she should know how she feels about Naraku.”
“I know, hypocritical, but I can't help it. I guess I want to know where I stand with her so I can figure out where to go from here, you know?”
“Well, maybe she needs to know where she stands with you too.”
Inuyasha couldn't help but smile. Kagome was obviously hurting in this whole situation, because either way she would lose. Kikyou was her cousin, and he was, well, he wasn't sure what he was to her, but he was something, and someone was going to get hurt to a degree. And yet, she was still trying to help.
“How are you so wise all the time?”
It was Kagome's turn to groan. “Trust me, I'm not. If I were wise, I would never have let myself lo-”, but she stopped herself, and he did a double take.
“What were you about to say?”
“Nothing,” Kagome seemed suddenly nervous. She had almost blurted her feelings to him! What a fool she was!
“You were about to say something Kagome, what is it?”
“Please don't ask me Inuyasha.”
He sighed. She was doing it again. Trying to get him to back off, just like that day in the park. He had listened then, but not this time. This time he wanted to know what she was keeping from him.
Taking her hand, he looked at her with the tenderest look he could manage. If only he knew that seeing the love in his eyes was harder for her then anything else.
“Kagome, please tell me.”
Tears came to her eyes, and Kagome suddenly fell against his chest, clutching at the fabric of his shirt desperately. “Oh god Inuyasha, please don't ask me, not now.”
“But Kagome, you say Kikyou and I need to know where we stand with each other. Maybe I want to know where I stand with you too. That could help me make a lot of decisions. Please tell me.”
But she shook her head against his chest. “I won't give you a reason to make a choice you'll regret later. Whatever decisions you make regarding your wife must not involve me.”
“But it does involve you, damn it!” He was losing his temper again, and now pushed her away from him, holding her in front of him by her arms. “Don't you get it? This involves you so much Kagome! How could it not when I love you so damn much!”
Her eyes turned as wide as saucers, and Inuyasha suddenly realized what he had just said. Oops, he thought, the cat was officially out of the bag. No, more truthfully, the cat had just shredded the bag.
“You love me?” She asked, as though she couldn't believe it. A smile crept onto his face.
“Yeah stupid, you were being so annoying that I had to take the initiative, not something that's easy for a man to do, I'll have you know.”
“Inuyasha,” she was looking at him in a new way, a completely unguarded way. “Are you sure?”
“Gods above, woman, I know how I feel alright?” He nudged her playfully, smirking as he did so. “Unlike some people I know.”
She softened then and leaned against him, pressing her lips lightly against his own in a way that was enticing. “I love you too,” she pulled back to whisper in his ear, and those four words were more beautiful to Inuyasha then any song. Turning his head, he captured her in a kiss, this time much more passionate and full of need. His whole body burned at her touch, a jolt running up and down his spine and his neck tingling as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling them closer together.
The only thing keeping him in check was the reality that they were on the steps of a very public shrine, and he couldn't pick her up and carry her somewhere else. But then, maybe that was a good thing.
Pulling away finally, he looked down to see Kagome with an absolutely dreamy look in her eyes, her lips swollen and her face glowing with an emotion he had never seen before in Kikyou: unrequited, pure, untainted love.
“Inuyasha,” she finally managed to speak, “We need to call Kikyou.”
“Why?”
“We need to talk to her.”
He sighed and pulled her against his chest. “Yeah, you're right, I'll call her tonight.”
She looked up at him. “I want to be with you when she comes.”
Looking at her for an instant, he finally smiled and nodded. “Okay, I'd like that.”
“We'll need to figure out what to say.”
“Yeah,” he nodded, but deep down he already knew what was needing to be said.
Up to that moment, Inuyasha had been sure he would eventually realize that all he felt for Kagome was passion, and that he would return to his wife. But now he realized how much he truly loved Kagome, from the very depths of his soul, and how at this point going back to Kikyou would be unkind to her and to himself.
He knew what he was going to tell her. When she came over, as painful as it would be for him, he was going to ask her for a divorce.