InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Strip Poker ❯ Round Three: Poker Night with Fluffy ( Chapter 3 )

A/N: Someone suggested that I include the bad guys. The idea was too good to pass up. They may be slightly OOC but it's still funny. Enjoy. (Standard Disclaimers Apply)

Strip Poker Round Three: Poker Night with Fluffy

Screams of indignation could be heard echoing through the forest as Inuyasha and his friends searched desparately for their missing clothing. A tall man clad in baboon skin stood in the clearing, listening with amusement.

"Inuyasha wears a wig?" Naraku found it difficult to contain his laughter. "Does that mean you do as well, Sesshoumaru?"

The cold inu youkai bristled with anger. "I do not need to prove anything to you! What are you hiding under that monkey skin anyway?"

The two glared at each other from across the clearing but before the argument could escalate, a third female voice intervened.

"I know a way we could settle this gentlemen."

"What do you recommend, Kikyo?"

Kikyo only smiled mysteriously and pulled a battered deck of cards from her sleeve. "We could play our own game of strip poker."

"Where did you get those?" Naraku asked, indicating the cards. They had obviously been made in modern Tokyo because nothing like them had ever been seen in Sengoku Jidai before.

"Oh," she replied nonchalantly. "I stole them from that little b*tch's backpack when she wasn't looking."

"She stole your man so you stole her deck of cards?" Sesshoumaru asked wryly, amazed that the undead Miko wasn't a bit more vindictive.

"There are some who would consider that a fair trade." Kikyo eyed Sesshoumaru coldly. "Besides, I am interested in the outcome of this game. It's not the authenticity of your hair that I question-it's you tail."

One does not openly slight Sesshoumaru and expect to escape unscathed. Yet another argument would have taken place had Naraku not stepped in and distracted them all with more pointless conversation.

"A game of strip poker sounds like a good idea but do you think we can convince anyone else to play. A group of three seems rather small."

"Why don't we ask Jaken and Rin." Kikyo suggested, hoping to annoy Sesshoumaru and succeeding.

"Hell no!" he burst out, his cold exterior broken. "For one thing Jaken's disgusting!" he shuddered convulsively. "And would you really want to be responsible for corrupting such a young girl? She probably wouldn't understand anyway! I can almost hear her questions already." He mimicked Rin's high-pitched voice. "Sesshoumaru-samaaaaaa! What's that?"

At this, the others shuddered. Teaching a ten year old sex-ed wasn't exactly high on their list of priorities.

"Why don't we ask Kagura and Kanna instead?"

"Sorry Sesshoumaru." Naraku replied. "I sent the two of them out earlier today to kill Inuyash-I mean," he amended, catching Kikyo's jealous eye, "to keep an eye on Inuyasha and intervene if Kagome tries to make a move on him." Naraku then mentally congratulated himself on the nice save.

"They shouldn't have a problem." Sesshoumaru actually laughed. "When I last checked, that wig-wearing idiot was still looking for his pants!"

Sesshoumaru had been anticipating a sarcastic reply from Kikyo but it never came. At the moment she was torn between making that reply and sneaking off to take a peak at Inuaysha (^.~). So torn between two alternatives, she did neither. She merely said: "Why don't we ask my sister?"

"You have a sister?" Sesshoumaru was shocked.

"She's younger than I am and she doesn't get out much. I'm sure she'd love a game of poker."

"Well, we've got no one else." Naraku agreed. The issue settled, Kikyo disappeared in a swirl of soul-stealing snakes.

"I didn't know that Kikyo had a younger sister." Sesshoumaru mused. "Maybe she's evil… and cute!" His tone was reminiscent of a certain perverted monk.

Naraku was also pondering. Suddenly he looked up, his face panicked. "Wait a minute! I killed Kikyo fifty years ago!"

"So."

"That would mean that her sister's…" His voice trailed off. Kikyo had reappeared, followed by the elderly Kaede. They sat down and Kikyo began to shuffle the cards.

Naraku and Sesshoumaru looked at Kaede again. They looked back at each other for confirmation and then shuddered in unison.

"Un…Kikyo?" Naraku began, holding his cloak close around him. "I don't think strip poker is such a good idea anymore. It's starting to get cold." The lie wasn't convincing. The sun was still high in the sky.

"Yeah." Sesshoumaru agreed, clutching his tail. "Why don't we have a game of Old Hag-I mean, Old Maid instead?"

Kikyo smiled and laughed. The sound struck fear into their demon hearts…

Inuyasha and his friends weren't the only ones who ran through the forest screaming that day.

~*~

A/N: Almost makes you feel bad for Naraku-almost. I guess Kikyo is a lot more evil than Fluffy gives her credit for.