InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sword of Supreme Conquest ❯ Chapter 12 ( Chapter 12 )

Author's Note: Heads up! There's citrus content ahead....

 

A lot can change in four years. What was once young can become old; what was beautiful, lost; things remembered can be forgotten. Four years had changed many things in Kagome's life. The baby she'd brought with her through the well had grown into a bright-eyed, curious youngster with eyes that burned with a hidden fire and a dark tousled mane that never looked kempt. The connection she'd once shared with the man she loved, the one she called her mate, had grown strained and fragmented.

 

 

The love that once permeated the walls of the palace had been gone for so long she'd forgotten what it felt like to feel its warmth embrace her. The worst part of it was that she didn't know how to fix it or where she'd gone wrong, only that everything that'd once felt passionate and indestructible now felt broken. She was floundering in the deep end of a pool, her head just barely above the water with her limbs growing weary and found herself wondering what would happen if she just stopped struggling?

 

 

From the outside, married life seemed to be agreeing with their small family. Any stranger would probably have described them as content, devoted and very much in love. He still held her while they were in public together and when he looked down at her with those cold amber eyes she smiled back at him, hoping to see a glimmer of what was once there. It never worked though and no one seemed to notice but her.

 

The monotony of daily life in the palace soon began to wear her spirit down. With each day spent there, another tiny part of her died. She became so consumed with her own melancholy thoughts that she neglected to notice that there was another who shared her pain.

 

 

Sesshomaru saw the light fading from her eyes and the brightness waning from her smiles. Worst of all, he knew it was his fault. In the last year he'd been away more than he'd been home as he tried to diffuse a war on three borders. Needless to say, negotiations were not going well. Once word of his massacre of the Northern tribes got out, the remaining dog demon tribes unanimously decided to join forces to subordinate the West, whom they all felt had become too powerful.

 

 

Every time left on yet another diplomatic mission she would give him the same disappointed stare before shrugging, saying “Fine, go then” as if it made no difference to her. It frustrated him to no end that she refused to understand that everything he did was for them. A war would benefit no one. If the cost of peace was his frequent and extended absences, then it was a necessary sacrifice for them both to make. He wished she would see the logic in his position and support him, but she was stubborn and refused to be swayed.

 

What he didn't realize was that her anger and indifference were the only defences she had left against the loneliness that accompanied his absences. She missed him, sometimes so much so that it manifested itself as a physical pain in the very centre of her chest, but there was nothing she could do to stop him from leaving. And so the only recourse she had left, her only means of self-preservation, was to convince herself she was angry with him because it was so much easier to handle that emotion than the truth.

 

 

The tension created by his absences and her anger formed a great cavernous rift between them. They hardly spoke anymore, unless it was to maintain the happy family façade for the courtiers, and he couldn't remember the last time she'd looked at him with eyes filled with desire. Those days felt like a life time ago. Whenever he returned, exhausted, weary and thankful to finally be home, he was soon reminded of just how much things had changed.

 

Even the bed they shared saw no passion; it was as if they were two strangers sharing the sheets for warmth. That hurt him the most. The bedroom was the one placed that'd been theirs. It was there that they talked for hours, long into the night. Only there could they be alone to be just a man and a woman with no responsibilities pressing on them or needs other than their own selfish desires to answer. How had he failed so completely? He was losing her, he knew it, but he felt helpless to stop it.

 

 

It was with a heavy heart that Sesshomaru announced over dinner that he had to leave on yet another mission. An urgent messenger had flown to the palace and interrupted their banquet to inform him that troops were gathering along the eastern border. The only way they would agree to back down was if he left immediately to parlay with their leader.

 

 

Casting a sideways glance towards Kagome, he caught her open glare and withered inside. He'd barely been home three days and already he was leaving. For how long this time? A day, a week, months? There was never any way to be certain. To make matters worse he was abandoning her halfway through the banquet, leaving her in the unenviable position as sole hostess to over a hundred guests.

 

 

She played the part of the good wife, dutifully standing at his side as he bid farewell to their guests and offered a cold cheek for him to kiss. He bowed his head and brushed his lips against her warm skin while gently squeezing her arm. He wanted her to look at him so he could kiss her properly but she stubbornly refused. With hard eyes she stared dead ahead, her face blank and emotionless. With a defeated sigh he cast a lingering glance over his shoulder at her before stalking out of the great hall, towing half a dozen retainers behind him.

 

 

As soon as the last echoes of his footsteps faded from her ears Kagome flung herself into her chair and hastily downed her glass of red wine. With an irritated growl she slammed the cup back down on the table and motioned for a servant to refill it. He was leaving. Three days and again he was leaving!

 

 

The servant filled her glass with an obedient nod and Kagome grasped the cup once more, swirling the dark liquid inside. The fragrant scent of fermented grapes drifted up her nose, making her head feel dizzy. Her jaw clenched and unclenched as she went over her unspoken frustrations in her head. She was tired of being abandoned and ignored. She'd married Sesshomaru to be his wife, not his personal bed warmer. How much longer did he think she would stand by and accept being treated like this?

 

 

It'd been almost immediate, the change that is. The day they'd returned from the well had been the start of it, only she hadn't realized it then. Within days of her return he began leaving on “diplomatic missions” that became increasingly more frequent and substantial in length. He spent more time away from her than he spent with her and even when he was home he was preoccupied and distant. How things have changed, she thought snidely and took a sip of her wine. The bitter sweet liquid trickled satisfyingly down her throat but she hardly tasted it.

 

Every time he left a small part of her died inside. She was so lonely without him. Why couldn't he just stay? Over the months her dejected feelings had morphed into anger and resentment. She didn't want to hate him, but it was so much easier to hate than to admit that she'd failed somehow. Deep down she knew it was herself she should be angry with. She'd lied to him that day when they'd returned from the well. But it wasn't only that. As the months wore on she began to think that perhaps if she was a better wife then he wouldn't be gone so often. Logic be damned, she convinced herself that her faults were the sole reason for his absences.

 

 

When he stopped trying to be intimate with her, her worst fears were confirmed. Somewhere along the line he'd grown tired of her. His burning passion for her had faded into dying embers. If he only knew how many nights she lay awake, alone in their bed, crying until her eyes were as red as the wine in her cup. She didn't have the answers she needed and she didn't know where to find them. From her perspective, their situation seemed pretty hopeless. Where else could they possibly go from here?

 

 

Holding back a sob Kagome let out a heavy sigh. Lifting her cup to her lips, she drained the liquid courage in one shot and set it back down on the table. The wine swirled in her nearly empty stomach, making her head swim as it deliciously warmed her limbs. What she needed now was to be numb. Deciding that wine was the best way to achieve said feeling, or lack thereof, she made sure her glass was continually refilled until she lost track of just how many glasses she'd had.

 

 

Hardly realizing what she was doing, she moved slowly around the Great Hall and ran her fingertips against the rough wood and rice paper panels. Stopping suddenly, she leaned heavily against the wall and stared mystified around the room, wondering to herself just when it'd started spinning. Closing her eyes against the overly happy swirling faces of her guests, she rested her head in her hands and slipped into a recess within the wall.

 

 

The blood pounded deafeningly in her ears but couldn't block out the boisterous sounds of merriment that assaulted her senses, waning and waxing like waves against the shore. Lacking any perception of time whatsoever, she had no idea how long she stood with her back pressed up against the wall. It could've been seconds, minutes or hours, but she finally opened her eyes to the sound of someone calling her name. Looking up into a vaguely familiar face, her eyes met a pair of azure eyes staring intently down at her.

 

 

“Kouga?” she questioned blearily, blinking her eyes wide to bring his tawny face into focus. His ever-present charming grin quickly faded and was replaced with a concerned frown.

 

 

“Kagome...are you okay?” he asked and bent to set his mug of ale on the floor at his feet.

 

 

She nodded hastily, flipping her hand to nonchalantly dismiss his concerns but quickly stopped when she realized that any movement only increased the spinning of the room. Putting her palm to her forehead she let out a weak sigh and stumbled into his arms.

 

 

Kouga looked down at her with his eyes wide and gasped with surprise when he felt her arms wrap around his waist and her slender fingers curl into the fur pelt covering his back. “Hold me Kouga,” she whispered softly and rested her head against his chest.

 

 

The wolf demon stared down, too stunned to move. He'd always wanted Kagome to lust after him like this, but not now that she was married and certainly not when she was drunk. When he felt her legs buckle he wrapped his arms around her tight to keep her from collapsing at his feet. With a disconcerted frown he glanced around the hall. Apparently no one had noticed their compromising position but that wouldn't last much longer. He had to get her to bed before she passed out or did something to completely humiliate herself.

 

 

“Kagome I'm going to bring you to bed. Is that okay?” he asked in a low voice so that none of the other guests would hear. Jeez Kagome, what've you done to yourself, he asked inwardly and subtly shook his head disapprovingly.

 

 

“Yes…take me to bed Kouga,” she purred. Tilting her head she looked up at him with hooded eyes and quickly pressed her lips to his before he could react. Admittedly he indulged for a second, hell he'd always wondered what a kiss from Kagome would feel like, but the scent of wine on her lips quickly brought him back to his senses. Grabbing hold of her hands he pushed her out of reach and shot her a troubled look.

 

 

The electric shock of her kiss resonated painfully throughout his body and tingled sharply against every nerve ending. It was considered a great treason for any demon to take another's mate and the crescent moon mark on her shoulder made sure everyone knew who she belonged to. To take her, even if he could contemplate doing such a thing considering her state, would mean unrelenting, agonizing pain. Even a romantic night with Kagome wasn't worth that kind of punishment.

 

 

Pressing his lips together he avoided her next attempt at a kiss and hastily picked her up in his arms. She nestled her head against his shoulder and patted the fur pelt covering his chest, obviously misinterpreting his actions. With an apologetic smile he hastily explained to the nearby guests gawking at them that she had fallen ill and carried her purposefully towards the stairs. He sighed with relief when he saw Inuyasha emerge from the darkened hallway.

 

 

The half demon's brows lowered darkly as he took in the way Kagome's body was languidly draped over Kouga's arms. “What'd ya do to Kagome ya mangy wolf?” he demanded, eyeing him suspiciously.

 

 

Kagome turned her unfocused gaze onto Inuyasha and smiled widely at him. “Well hey there stranger! Enjoying the party?” she asked, her voice much louder than was necessary.

 

 

The dog demon's ears twitched and his brows knit together as he sniffed the air. “She's drunk?” he demanded incredulously and frowned at Kouga.

 

 

The wolf rolled his eyes and shrugged. “She was like this when I found her,” he explained defensively. Believing no more explanation was necessary, he quickly deposited Kagome's rag doll body into Inuyasha's arms.

 

 

With lazy movements and bleary eyes she loosely laced her fingers around his neck and squealed his name in delight somewhat akin to what Rin would do whenever Sesshomaru returned from one of his journeys. The half demon's ears flattened against his head at the high pitched shriek and he shot Kouga a scathing look. With a cocky smile the wolf demon clapped his hands together and bowed to them both.

 

 

“She's your problem now mutt. See ya later Kagome!” he called cheerily and waved over his shoulder as he stalked off, leaving the pair to their own devices.

 

 

Kagome waved rather uncoordinatedly in Kouga's general direction before replacing her hand around Inuyasha's neck. “So you're taking me to bed are you?” she questioned with a smile.

 

 

Ignoring her comment he huffed with frustration and turned towards the stairs he'd just come from. With irritated stomps he made his way up them and tried to ignore Kagome repeated attempts to snuggle into his chest. The stench of wine coming off of her was enough to make his own head spin leaving him to wonder just how much she'd drunk. Why hadn't anyone been watching her?

 

 

When they reached the door of her bedroom he tried to set her down on the floor but she refused to cooperate. “No, I can't walk,” she explained, stubbornly refusing to even put her feet on the ground.

 

 

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and growled in frustration. He SO did not have the patience to deal with this right now! He jostled her body in his arms until he managed to free one hand enough to fumble with the door handle. The darkened hallway and the fact that he couldn't see around her body made the task a million times more difficult that it should've been. Feeling her eyes on him he momentarily gave up on the door and glanced down, meeting her gaze head on.

 

 

“What?” he demanded tersely.

 

 

“Kiss me,” she demanded in a soft voice. Her dark eyes pleaded with him but he hesitated and sucked in a sharp gasp of cool air

 

 

“Kagome…I can't,” he stated simply and blew out the air in his lungs as he tore his gaze from hers. He could smell the saltiness of her tears as they trickled down her cheeks and immediately felt the familiar pang of guilt in his chest. Kamie he hated it when she cried.

 

 

“What's wrong with me?” she begged the question in a pained voice. “Sesshomaru doesn't touch me anymore and now you don't want to touch me either. Am I really that repulsive?”

 

 

Inuyasha closed his eyes against her words and tightened his grip on her body. How could his brother not touch her when every part of him wanted to see, taste and feel her? How could he have such a beautiful mate and treat her as if she meant nothing? Damn him…didn't he have a clue how to treat a woman?

 

 

“There's…there's nothing wrong with you Kagome,” he finally managed to rasp out. “You're perfect.” He swallowed hard to get rid of the dry, cottony feeling in his mouth. Why was he so damn nervous? It wasn't like she was going to remember any of this in the morning. All he had to do was put her to bed and that was it. Then he could let her sleep it off and in the morning everything would be okay again.

 

 

“Then kiss me,” she demanded stubbornly and disentangled her hands from the folds of his haori to stroke the smooth plains of his face. “I need to know. Please?”

 

 

Letting out a defeated sigh Inuyasha turned to face her again. He could see the tears hovering in the corners of her eyes, waiting to be spilt down her cheeks. Even in the dark hall her liquid eyes shone with her sadness and pain. Lifting his clawed hand to her face he gently wiped the tears from her cheek with his thumb. Kami he hated his bastard brother for doing this to her. He hated seeing her cry.

 

 

Dropping his head low, he pressed his lips against hers in a tender kiss. Be satisfied, he pleaded as he closed his eyes. He could taste the wine, heavy and sweet on her lips and even more so when she brought her tongue to meet his. The scent of the wine was seductive as it invaded his sensitive nose. Breathing deeply to fill himself with her scent, he clutched her closer and his hands remembering what her curves felt like beneath her clothes. When he finally broke away they were both left breathless. He tried to set her down once more but she clung tightly to him and buried her face in his neck.

 

 

“Take me to bed Inuyasha,” she whispered, her voice thick and inviting.

 

 

A tiny whimper escaped the half demon's throat as he tried to fight off the carnal urges pulsing throughout his entire body. Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! This wasn't supposed to be happening. She didn't want him, not like this anyway, but when her lips pressed against his neck in a seductive kiss he bowed to her and brought his lips to hers. When she responded to his touch with a burning passion that matched his own, he lost the last shred of logic he'd been clinging to.

 

 

Losing track of all space and time, they suddenly found themselves urgently tearing at each others' clothes, their lips and tongues locked together in a needy struggle for dominance and reassurance. With a whoosh he deposited her body onto the bed and made swift work of removing the rest of her clothing.

 

 

A shiver ran down his spine as he remembered what it'd been like to make love to her, to feel her warmth sheathed around him. For a moment he reflected on the consequences of what they were about to do but Kagome's insistent moans and her body squirming beneath his threw all logical thought out the window. He let out a soft moan of his own as he entered her and memories of their brief time together flooded back in a tumult of emotions.

 

 

Kagome let out a delighted gasp as he entered her and a languid smile pulled at her lips. “It's been so long…he hasn't touched me in so long,” she tried to explain breathily as her limbs entwined round his in a lover's embrace.

 

 

Inuyasha silenced her words with a kiss. The last thing he wanted to hear about was what his brother did or didn't do to her. Feeling her liquid warmth surrounding him, he wondered what kind of man could possibly resist her. Sesshomaru had to be out of his mind if he voluntarily chose to give her up.

 

 

Inuyasha buried his face in her neck and breathed her scent in deep. He could already feel his body tightening in expectation of his release. He held off and lavished the delicate skin of her neck with slow, languid kisses in all the spots he knew she liked. It wasn't long before she was arching against him, her body wrapping tightly around his as she finally succumbed to her orgasm.

 

 

The tightening of her inner muscles around his length hastily brought him over the edge. With a deep shudder he came inside of her and bowed his head, his hair cascading down across his face like a veil until it came to rest in a silver pool atop her breasts.

 

 

Kagome ran her hands through the silver waterfall and gently pushed it off his face. With a tiny, gratifying smile she moved her hands slowly up his back, feeling his lungs expand and contract with each breath he took. “Thank you…,” she murmured into his ear, her words slurred as she slipped into blissful unconsciousness.

 

 

He looked up just as her eyes closed and breathed a heavy sigh. Leaning forward, he gently brushed the hair out of her eyes and planted a kiss against the tip of her nose.

As the afterglow slowly began to wear off he quickly realized the situation they were in. Shit he cursed quietly and felt a knot of guilt take hold in his chest. Dread slipped its icy fingers down his spine and he steadily backed away from her.

 

 

His eyes searched the floor, frantic, until he'd found and retrieved his clothes. He hastily dressed in the dark as he contemplated what to do next. He couldn't just leave her like that…taking a few minutes he scoured the room for something to dress her in. He had a feeling the claw marks on her clothes would be a dead give away if he redressed her in them. He hadn't exactly been careful. Shit shit shit! I'm such an idiot!

 

 

Finally spotting a robe hanging overtop a screen, he retrieved it triumphantly. His eyes never left her form as he crossed the room silently, lightly tossing the silk between claws. The moonlight cascading in through the window illuminated her naked form and made his heart swell once more. If anything, tonight only confirmed for him that he would always love her.

 

 

He'd done his best over the years to hide his feelings, to push them aside and ignore the familiar pangs of longing that would rise in his chest whenever she embraced him as a friend, but now he understood with painful clarity that those feelings would never go away. Perhaps he was cursed to love this woman until his dying day, always wanting her but never having her.

 

 

He halted his thoughts as he looked down at the rhythmic rise and fall of Kagome's chest. He lifted her towards him and slipped the robe around her trying to ignore the press of her naked body against his. Well if he was cursed, perhaps he deserved it. Truthfully it wasn't that horrible of a curse to bear. A lesser man would be driven mad knowing that the woman they loved was married to their brother, but somehow he'd maintained his sanity. Perhaps not for much longer though.

 

 

As he gently laid her back down onto the mattress and closed the robe, making sure to tie the band at her waist, he admitted to himself dejectedly that this night would never happen again; and then, with conviction, that it couldn't happen again. For her life to remain peaceful and uncomplicated he would once again have to keep his distance. He wanted to feel bad. He wanted to be disgusted with himself for allowing her to draw him in, for giving in to his desires, but the guilt just wasn't there. She'd needed someone to show her that she was still wanted, that she was still loved and he'd done that for her. Regardless of the consequences for himself, he would never be sorry. Sesshomaru could tear his left arm off and it wouldn't matter. He'd always be there for her when she needed him, which was more than he could say for his brother.

 

 

With these thoughts weighing heavily on his mind, he carefully tucked Kagome beneath the covers. Sesshomaru wouldn't return for at least a few days. His scent would be long gone by then so she wouldn't have to worry about him finding out. He had no intention of saying anything. As far as he was concerned, what happened was between him and Kagome and it was Sesshomaru's own damn fault for not being more involved. If she wanted to tell him…well that was her own choice.

 

 

With that thought, he left her to sleep off the drink and tried to keep the smile from his face as he retreated soundlessly down the dark corridor and back to the party.

 

Author's Note 2: Whoa nelly! Juicy juicy juicy! I love this chapter hahaha I hope you guys like it too. Please leave a review. Thanks!