InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ That's Show Business ❯ That's A Wrap! ( Chapter 18 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha. *sigh* Glad that I don't have to re-state this…

chihiro-san: Hi you guys!!! Oh my Kami-sama-in-heaven-with-a-platefull-of-noodles!!!! THIS IS THE LAST, FINAL CHAPTER OF "THAT'S SHOW BUSINESS"!!!!!!! Holy cowbiscuits. I really didn't believe that this ficcy was ever going to end. I'm sad that it is ending, but I'm also really excited. The end of this fic means the start of a new one. So, please enjoy this end and check out my new beginning!

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"`Most people would look at a superstar and question the obvious things: "Would they give me their autograph", "could I get a picture with them", or "D'you think anyone would notice if I kidnapped them and made them my personal slave". Kagome wasn't like most people. When she first laid eyes on Inu Yasha, she thought "wow…now he's going to be a pain in the ass to work with!" But that didn't stop her.

After `getting to know him better' over a time period of three years, they decided on two things. One of those things was that Inu Yasha would be quitting his career as an actor to take up the hard task of composing songs for movies. The other was that he and Kagome would be married in June. Many hearts broke when he announced their engagement at the Save the Whales Charity Dinner he was hosting. Almost all of those broken hearts belonged to obsessive fangirls all over the globe. It is said that Kagome is receiving thousands of pounds of hate mail daily, but that could just be a rumor.' Rumor?! It isn't a rumor! Look at the size of this pile!" Kagome tapped the enormous mountain of letters that was stacked in front of her with her magazine. Inu Yasha chuckled and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

"You knew that you'd be getting hate mail, right?" he asked as he slashed open one of the letters.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I just didn't completely believe that thousands of gorgeous women in the world wish that they could be in my shoes. Or wish that they could kill me." She smiled sweetly and flipped through the top of the stack. Inu Yasha grabbed a handful and began to sift through them. Reading hate mail, he decided, wasn't as boring as he thought it would be. It was actually kind of funny, if you thought about it. So many girls spent hundreds of dollars on postage, just to complain about something they didn't have any power over. The corner of his lips lifted slightly as he searched for anything interesting. Finally he found one that made him choke with laughter. Kagome glanced at him out of the corners of her eyes.

"Did something amuse you, or are you just yakking up a furball?" she sighed. His laughter subsided gradually.

"Y-yeah."

"Yeah, as in you were yakking up a furball?"

"Uh-huh. That's right, honey." A broad grin was plastered on his face as he tore open the letter. It was written in neon pink glitter gel and smelled of lilac. It read:

Dearest Inu Yasha,

Let me get this straight: for the past three years you have been dating Kagome and haven't even LOOKED at another girl? That's a bit of a raw deal! Why do you let her keep you on such a short leash?! WHY ARE YOU MARRYING HER?!!?! You deserve better. Namely me. Plus, you already know me! I've met you twice. Don't you remember? Well, if you have any second thoughts, please call me. My number is (876) 548-7732.

MUCH love,

Candy Valentine

The waitress from L.A. had finally tracked him down. Inu Yasha half-mused as to how the little wench was doing, but he didn't muse for very long. Even the mere memory of that pink little prat made his stomach turn. Either way, he half-smiled and folded up the paper neatly. This one he would save for when he needed a good laugh. As he slid it into his pocket, a strange noise that closely resembled growling reached his ears. He turned to find Kagome glaring daggers at him. He gulped and raised his hands half-way in defense.

"Who's Candy Valentine?" Kagome hissed.

"Nobody! Just a pathetic fan, I swear!" he stammered.

"If she's nobody, then why are you nervous?"

"Because you look like you're about to gut me with the letter opener!" Her eyes fell to where his were looking. Sure enough, she had been fingering the pocketknife that she had been using to help her open letters. She blushed and tossed the knife aside.

"I'm sorry, Inu Yasha, honestly. Will you ever forgive me?" She batted her long lashes at him in quite a tempting way. He gulped again, but this time he was nervous for a different reason.

"Well," he began in a smooth voice, "I can think of a few ways that you could apologize."

"Rrreeeaaallllyyyy?"

"Yes." Kagome leaned in and gave him a peck on the corner of his mouth.

"Was that it?"

"Close, but no cigar." She leaned in a bit farther to smack him full on…but it lasted about half of a millisecond. To him, anyways.

"Closer, but no." That did it. Just so that she wouldn't have to put up with his pathetic complaints of "near kisses" Kagome went full-frontal, over the moon, across the stars, past the galaxy of lovey-dovey, and into `the romantic movie of the century'. After five minutes of it, she returned to her letters. It took him a little while to recover, but he finally did. Regrettably so, I might add. No one likes to go back to opening fan mail after a kiss like THAT.

He picked up the closest envelope to him, sliced it open, and read:

Inu Yasha:

I'd just like to say thank you. You did a great deed to our general safety by turning that nut-job Kouga over to the police. That guy was sick. Totally sick. It's a good thing that he got 25-life in prison, because I don't want him around my children. I have two daughters that are about your age and they're constantly pestering me to write and thank you. Well, now that I have, I won't have to listen to their whining!

Thank you for your time,

Police Chief Roger Doyle

Ps: My girl's e-mail addresses are Baby_Doyle@nonsense.org and Jenny_Doyle@hellfire.net.

More e-mail addresses. As if he'd have time to e-mail a million people he didn't even know. He flicked the letter aside with an exasperated sigh. Kagome stopped reading an amusing letter from a deranged fanboy and glanced up at her fiancé.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she reached out and stroked the back of his hand with a finger. It sent a shiver down his spine, but he didn't show it.

"I just remembered something."

"What did you remember?"

"Miroku and Sango asked us to baby-sit for them." Kagome's face lit up with joy.

"Really?! Oh, Inu Yasha! Please can we baby-sit for them? Please, please, please, please, PLEASE?!!?" she begged.

"Humph. What's so great about the twins anyway?" he snorted.

"Oh, come on! Kali and Kelly are SO CUTE and you know it."

"I swear, if I hadn't had been Miroku's best man…"

"We're baby-sitting whether you want t-"

"I mean, it's not like I WANT kids when I grow up! Stinky, worthless-um…I didn't…" one look at Kagome's face yanked him back down to earth. Absolute horror was painted in her eyes.

"Y-you mean…you don't want kids?" she whispered. He groaned inwardly.

"You know that I love children as much as you do, but the Spawn of Hell that those two pass of as offspring are not the type that I'd like!"

"I think they're sweet," Kagome grumbled in a put-out way.

"Yeah, well that's because they didn't tar and feather you with honey and live chickens."

"That was just-"

"Or the time when they told me that their snake wasn't poisonous."

"Inu Yasha, you're being redic-"

"Or the time when they blew up the microwave, right after they stuck a frozen waffle in the DVD player."

"They didn't kn-wait. You were the one who blew up the microwave, not them." Inu Yasha wrinkled up his nose in frustration and looked hard at his feet.

"Yeah, so?" Kagome sighed and passed him an envelope.

"Open this for me, would you dear?"

"But it's a letter bomb."

"Exactly."

"Ha ha. I can see when I'm not wanted." He stood on wobbly legs and stumbled over to the phone. Hours of sitting in the `lotus position' while opening letters will stiffen your joints a bit. He punched Miroku's cell number. In no time, the director picked up.

"Talk," Miroku said promptly.

"Listen, Kagome and I would be…ugh…Do I have to say it?" he called over his shoulder. Kagome nodded, causing him to groan and return to the phone. "We'd be more than happy to baby-sit for you."

"Right, thanks a million. That movie premier's gonna keep Sango and me up all night. You don't mind a sleepover with the twins, do you?"

"SLEEPOVER?! Like hell am I about to have a `sleepover' with the children of Satan! No offense," he added quickly.

"None taken. I know that they're a handful, but I'll do the same for you when you and Kagome have kids."

"Who said anything about us having kids?!" he yelped.

"Dude. It's Kagome. Do you think that there's even a REMOTE CHANCE that you two won't have kids?" Inu Yasha glanced back at Kagome and smiled.

"Yeah, okay, I see your point."

"Good. Saturday at eight."

"Whatever." Inu Yasha dropped the phone back down in its cradle and shuffled back over to Kagome. She smiled up at his sour expression. He flopped down next to her grudgingly. As he fell, something on the telly caught his eyes. His hand flew out and snatched the remote off of the table. He motioned to Kagome with his head and un-muted it. Gracing the fairly large screen was a beautiful picture of Inu Yasha tilting Kagome back, Hollywood-style, before kissing her like the movie star he used to be.

`It seems that love was in the air last week when Inu Yasha announced his engagement to Miss Kagome Higurash. Many adoring fans flocked to the post office with demands of reconsideration, and a few took more…desperate tactics to get the highly acclaimed composer to notice them."

"She must be talking about that wench that broke into your apartment and lynched your cat," Inu Yasha muttered. Kagome smacked him upside the head with a fistful of letters. He rubbed his scull and glared at her.

"What was that for?!" he barked.

"Don't sound so callous! I loved that cat! Poor Buyo…"

"I wasn't being callous! I was just-"

SMACK!!

"HEY!!!"

"Shut up. I'm trying to listen," Kagome barked.

"Well ex-CUSE me!" Inu Yasha grumbled. They stared at the flat screen as a shot of Kouga was plastered before them.

`We at Gossip Head Quarters News (or just plain GHQ) had an opportunity to speak with Kagome's ex-boyfriend when he was informed of the marriage proposal. Most of you out there remember Kouga. He was the deranged environmentalist that tried to murder Inu Yasha on two separate occasions before Inu himself turned in the madman. When news reached the youkai in his prison block…well…see for yourself.'

A video of Kouga slashing everything in sight flashed on the screen. His bunk, sheets, pillow, sink, walls, floor, roommate, and even his own person were shredded and bleeding in one form or another. He panted and surveyed his handiwork before turning to the camera.

`I swear to it, Inu Yasha, if I ever get the hell out of here, you're DEAD!! DO YOU HEAR ME?! DEAD!!' And with that, he punched the camera.

`Ooo! That was an expensive camera, too! I don't think that Kouga's going to be released any time soon! Speaking of total losers that got what was coming to them, whatever happened to the ex-director Naraku after he exposed our lovable half-breed? Well, let's just say that he's still in show business, but he's more of a soda jerk now. That's right folks! The highly acclaimed director is now working at a movie theater in Boston, Massachusetts! If that wasn't enough, the producer of "Bonaki", namely a sexy, dark-haired Miroku, - `

"He so paid her to say that," Inu Yasha interjected.

"Shh!"

`- Along with a few fellow employees from the movie joined forces and are now a troupe of elite movie makers. Business is booming for Amalgamated Movies, and why shouldn't it? With Miroku as the main director, Sango as his key producer (and wife), Kagome as the Chief Screenwriter, Myoga working as dialect coach, and Shippo in charge of lighting, what else would they result in except for some of the best movies of our times!? Winners of three Oscar nominations and titles such as Best Screen write, Best Director, and Movie of the Year have fallen on their shoulders. This, my Gossip Gurus, is the happiest ending anyone could have ever predicted. This is Rummy Takahashi, signing off.'

Click.

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chihiro-san: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAAY!!!! That's all, folks! It's over! Cut! Print! That's a wrap! We are d-o-n-e!! I'd like to thank all of the little people out there who made this thing possible! *sob* Seriously, though. I'd like to thank angelbabe17 for being my first reviewer (and all you other reviewers out there!) (you precious few) and I'd also like to thank Queen Klu for all of her help. WRITER'S BLOCK MUST DIE!!!! Evil. QUEENY! DECAPITATE THE EVIL COMPUTER GODS!!!

Q.K.: I'm the queen here! I don't take orders!

Ch-san: fine, whatever. Just kill the compy-gods, will you?

Q.K.: With PLEASURE!!! *crash!*

Hahaha. Okay. I love you all! GOOD NIGHT, LONDON!