InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Definition of Normal ❯ Date with the Devil ( Chapter 5 )

NOTES: Now that we have made it to the date chapter, I'll go ahead and make a confession. This story was inspired by a personal experience. Some of you have commented that you have never been subjected to a blind date, but I can say that I have, or at least something similar to one. It was a horrible experience that my mother still apologizes for whenever the subject comes up. She and her friend plotted to get myself and her son together to go out with them on Valentine's Day, and I was dead set against it. I finally gave in for some reason I still can't recall (brain-washing, I tell you!), and we met at a restaurant. He saw his ex-girlfriend there with someone else and took off before we could even be seated, leaving me with my mother and his mother. Apparently they thought I would be heart broken or something because they tried so hard to comfort me, but I was just jealous that I couldn't leave, too! (I'd come with my mother while he'd come on his own) I ended up eating with them and listening to stories about someone whose finger got cut off. Fun, fun day that was...

 

So now that you guys know my deep, dark secret, pity Kagome and Inuyasha greatly because I'm taking it all out on them. *evil laughter*

 

Warning: As usual, Inuyasha's language will probably scorch a few eyes...

 

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Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own the characters but I do own the plot as well as the memories that inspired them. I plan to keep the plot, but the memories I've been trying to get rid of for years! Anyone know how to cause selective amnesia?

 

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The Definition of Normal

Chapter Five

 

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“So...” Kagome trailed off, unsure of how to proceed. She'd gotten him to agree to the date, but now what? She really hadn't thought that far ahead. “Anything in particular you want to do?”

 

The hanyou in front of her didn't hesitate with his answer. “Hell yeah! I want to end this stupid date so I can go home!”

 

Kagome's eyebrow twitched as she clenched her fists. No need to blow her top and make things worse than they already were. “Let me rephrase the question since your tiny brain's ability to understand seems to be limited. What do you want to do with ME for the next few hours? Ending the date is NOT an option.”

 

The smirk she got in response to her question was unexpected, and Kagome watched him warily until it dawned on her exactly how her new and improved inquiry sounded. She flushed with embarrassment. “Pervert! I didn't mean it that way and you know it!”

 

Inuyasha grinned, and she fought the urge to slap the obnoxious expression off his face. “Whaddya mean, calling me a pervert? For all you know I could have been thinking about spending the next few hours dropping you off a cliff. A really, really HIGH cliff...”

 

“Oh, shut up!” If possible, she turned even redder.

 

The `couple,' if you could even term them that, spent the next several moments staring each other down. They were still no more than a block from the shrine, as they couldn't seem to agree on what their next move would be.

 

As Kagome eyed her adversary with a stony glare, she finally began to notice more about him than his demon features and obnoxious attitude. `He really is rather good looking.' She noted distractedly, thrown off by her sudden, non-violent thoughts. `If his attitude wasn't so horrible, I might actually be attracted to him.' Her eyes took in the long silver hair that was loose and flowing slightly in the breeze, as well as his lean frame that was currently in an irritatingly cocky stance. She also couldn't help but notice the fact that the basic t-shirt and jeans he was wearing did nothing to detract from his well-defined muscle structure. But what caught her attention the most was the unusual color of his eyes. They were a bright yellow-gold, and seemed to glow in the light of the afternoon sun as they stared down at her with an unspoken challenge.

 

Kagome shook her head and blinked, trying to dispel the crazy thoughts she was starting to have. No use staring at someone that was all looks and no substance, right? She'd never want a guy like him in a million years! “Okay, let's try this one more time.” She spoke with as much patience as she could muster, and was satisfied to see his startled reaction. He'd obviously been expecting her to be anything but calm. “Do you want to go get some lunch? We could head over to the shopping district and get something there since it's only a few blocks away.”

 

He seemed to consider her suggestion for a moment before shrugging his shoulders in defeat. “Whatever. Let's just go.”

 

“Great!” Kagome smiled in relief as they began the short trek in search of food. `Hey, at least we finally agreed on something, so perhaps this afternoon won't be a total disaster.'

 

They had been walking in silence for several moments and Kagome had just begun to relax, when Inuyasha suddenly turned to look at her as she trailed slightly behind him. “Oi, don't be so slow! Though I suppose you can't help it, being a weak human and all.” He grinned again before turning back around, knowing he'd found a button to push that would crumble her short peace into a pile of dust.

 

`Scratch that.' Kagome thought sourly as she glared at the back of the man quickly becoming the bane of her existence. `This afternoon is going to the dogs...literally.'

 

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~*~*~*~

 

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Inuyasha couldn't hide his amusement from the girl behind him, and really, he didn't even bother to try. She was annoying, irritating, and demanding, so to even things out he was doing everything within his power to drive her insane. It was only fair, after all.

 

Really, who did this girl think she was to try and hold something over his head? No one got away with treating him like something to be used and thrown away when it was no longer convenient to have him around. She might be getting away with using him to annoy her old fart of a grandfather, but that didn't mean he was just going to let her walk all over him without a fight!

 

Suddenly she spoke up, startling him out of his not-so-charitable thoughts. “So what kind of food do you like?”

 

He looked to his left and saw her walking along next to him as if they were friends out on a cozy little walk together. Her face was smooth and serene, an obvious attempt at not letting his attitude get to her. The entire sight renewed every ounce of his annoyance with her, and he growled. “What does it matter to you what I want? Bitch...” He grumbled under his breath.

 

She turned towards him sharply, all pretense at serenity lost. “Well I was TRYING to be nice and let you choose where to eat since this whole `date' seems to be such torture for you, but I think I've changed my mind.” Pausing for only a moment, she quickly seemed to come to a decision. “I want Okonomiyaki!” She announced, grandly ignoring the disgusted expression on her companion's face.

 

“Ugh! Who could eat that crap?” He glowered at her.

 

Kagome turned to him as they continued walking, a shocked look on her face. “It's not CRAP! I happen to like it, but then, I'm guessing that out of the two of us, I'm probably the only one that has any real taste.”

 

Inuyasha was stunned that she would have the gall to insult his sense of taste -or rather his lack thereof- without even finding out what kind of food he liked! The angry glare he sent her way was normally enough to make grown men cower, but she didn't seem fazed in the least. In fact, she actually had the nerve to stick out her tongue at him and then laugh about it!

 

This girl seriously had a death wish, and he was becoming more tempted by the moment to grant it.

 

Gritting his teeth, Inuyasha resisted the urge to do bodily harm and instead settled for using his most scathing tone of voice. “YOU-” He reached out and poked her in the middle of her forehead with the blunt part of his finger “-have no room to talk about having taste while wearing those freakin' ugly clothes! They make your butt look so big that you need a sign that says `wide load!'”

 

And so was demonstrated the number one reason why Inuyasha couldn't get a girlfriend, much less keep one. He had all the delicacy of a bull in a china shop, and about as many self-preservation instincts as a male praying mantis when it came to taboo things to say to women. Like the mantis, contact with females usually ended with the woman biting Inuyasha's head off.

 

Unfortunately for the idiotic hanyou, it looked like Kagome would not be an exception.

 

She was the rule incarnate, to be precise.

 

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~*~*~*~*~*~

 

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`Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.' Kagome mentally coached herself, trying to gain some semblance of control even while her face was turning a dangerous shade of red. `I won't kill him. I won't even physically maim him...I'll just make his life a living HELL!' Kagome finally snapped, and she knew that Inuyasha could see it written all over her face, if his expression was any indication.

 

“I...cannot...BELIEVE YOU!” Kagome shouted, not caring how much attention she was drawing to herself. There were quite a few people around since they were currently standing at the edge of the shopping district, and all eyes turned to the half-crazy girl in their midst as she railed on a nervous looking hanyou. “I try to be nice, but all you can do is act like a pervert, insult my clothes, call me FAT, make rude comments, and just be an all around JERK!”

 

By that point tears were starting to form in her eyes and Inuyasha took an involuntary step back. He wasn't afraid of anger, but tears were another thing entirely! She was shaking her fist in his face as the tears spilled over, somehow managing to look crushed and viciously angry at the same time. It never failed to amaze him how a woman managed to carry off two conflicting emotions like that. Heck, it was hard enough for him to get one right, much less two! The entire concept boggled his mind.

 

“All I wanted was a peaceful `date,' but no! You had to ruin it for me just to watch me suffer like some kind of sadist!” She sniffled and stepped back, suddenly going from fireball to drooping flower in mere seconds. Inuyasha, meanwhile, was staring at her like she had two heads, or perhaps a split personality. Had his mother and Kaede set him up with a mental case?

 

Before Inuyasha could recover from Kagome's display of temper, his sensitive ears suddenly picked up the sound of whispering from the people surrounding them.

 

“Oh, the poor girl! Somebody needs to teach that idiot with her a lesson!”

 

“He's a real winner, isn't he?”

 

“Look at the poor thing crying her eyes out. She obviously loves him, though I don't see why. She could do so much better than a jerk like that even if he is hot!”

 

“Ah, young love...I wish my husband would fight like that with me again, because making up was always so much fun!”

 

The whispers continued bombarding him from all sides, some indignant, some amused, some angry, some sarcastic, and some sympathetic. Most of the comments he could handle (After all, negative attitudes towards him were anything but rare), but some had Inuyasha turning an intense shade of red.

 

`What the...we aren't like THAT!' He looked around with a horrified expression, not knowing how to do damage control since the situation had gotten so out of hand.

 

“Oi!” Inuyasha finally raised his clawed hands in an awkward, placating gesture, eyes wide with near panic. “I didn't mean it, okay? Just stop crying already!”

 

Kagome continued to sniffle pathetically, though she did look up long enough to glare daggers at him. “Liar! You did too mean it!”

 

The hanyou let out a nearly audible sigh of relief and crossed his arms over his chest in a much more comfortable, familiar pose. Anger was good. Anger he could handle. “Look, just stop acting like a wimpy crybaby already! It's not like we're really going out or anything, so it shouldn't matter what I think about your damn clothes!”

 

That made Kagome pause. “I suppose you have a point...but that still doesn't mean that what you said wasn't horrible! Especially about my butt!”

 

Inuyasha rolled his eyes to hide his relief that at least she'd stopped crying. Yeah, so he'd probably gone too far by calling her butt big. But really, what did she expect? He wasn't some sort of romantic sap that knew how to say nice things to girls!

 

`But that doesn't mean you have to say cruel, nasty things to them either.' His mind quietly accused him. `There is such a thing as middle ground, moron.'

 

Cringing, Inuyasha realized that he should try to make amends somehow. Not that he felt guilty or anything! He just didn't want his mom or the old hag to find out what he'd said. Yeah, that was it!

 

“Keh. I really didn't mean it, okay?” Inuyasha's voice was gruff in an attempt to cover his nervousness, and he was refusing to look in her direction, though he could feel her eyes on him. “I just...I just couldn't stand the fact that you'd insulted ramen!”

 

Kagome had been expecting him to have any number of crazy excuses, but that? She shook her head in disbelief before continuing to stare at him with wide eyes. “Why would anyone in their right mind get so worked up over an imagined insult to RAMEN of all things?”

 

He rounded on her, his attempt to ignore her quickly forgotten. “Like hell I imagined it! YOU-” He pointed an accusing finger at her “-said I didn't have any taste!”

 

Kagome continued to stare at him as her mind slowly put two and two together from his...unique...way of reasoning. When she spoke, her words were slow and measured, as if she didn't quite believe what she was saying. “So you're offended because I insulted your lack of taste, but only because that meant I was insulting...ramen?”

 

His expression clearly said that she was an idiot for having to even ask.

 

“Oookay.” Kagome closed her eyes and massaged her forehead, attempting to forget the strange mental images his obsession with ramen was bringing about. Liking certain foods was one thing, but this went way beyond that. Was it some kind of fetish of his? “You know what? I'm just going to try and forget that we ever had this conversation. My brain can't handle it.”

 

“Keh. Not my fault that you can't appreciate the finer things in life.” He stuck his nose in the air, and the pose gave Kagome an insane urge to giggle like mad. He really was about to drive her batty...

 

In a desperate attempt to rescue her flailing mind, Kagome looked around at all the stores and food shops surrounding them. “So...I see the place where I want to eat!” She pointed down the street a short distance to a small open stand. Kagome knew it didn't look like much, but they had the best okonomiyaki she'd ever eaten.

 

She moved to take a step in that direction, when Inuyasha had the nerve to grab her arm. “I told you I don't wanna eat that crap!” He pointed towards another small stand on the other side of the narrow street almost directly opposite the place Kagome wanted to go. “We're gonna eat there!”

 

She frowned and stared at the sign over the stand. “Ramen?” Her stomach churned slightly. Almost any other time she might have been amendable to it, but after the conversation they'd had...no. Just no. She shook her head almost violently. “I refuse! I said I get to pick, so we are eating okonomiyaki and that's final!”

 

“Ramen!” Inuyasha met her challenging glare head on.

 

“Okonomiyaki!”

 

“RAMEN!”

 

“Okonomiyaki!”

 

“I-WANT-RAMEN, BITCH!”

 

Frustrated to her breaking point, Kagome threw her hands up in the air, a dramatic gesture of defeat. It wasn't as if she wanted to eat with the jerk anyway, so why fight it? “Fine! Go eat your stupid ramen and CHOKE on it for all I care!” Without waiting for a response, Kagome marched off in the opposite direction and left him standing there, still seething with anger as he stared at her retreating form.

 

“Yeah, well...I hope you choke on yours AND it tastes nasty!” Inuyasha shouted after her, once again causing himself to be the center of attention. Trying to ignore all the speculative stares being aimed his way, Inuyasha stalked over to the ramen stand, much to the dismay of the little man behind the narrow counter.

 

“G-Good afternoon!” The nervous looking man stuttered nervously. His fear was more than justified, seeing as the hanyou across from him looked fit to kill. “W-What will y-you have?” The stall owner attempted a smile, but only managed to look a bit ill instead.

 

“Keh. I'll take double whatever your special is, and make it fast!” Inuyasha snapped in response.

 

The stall had several small seats in front of it for customers to eat at, and Inuyasha threw himself on one so violently that the cook cringed. “O-Of course! Coming right up!” Mentally, the man vowed to make that order the fastest one ever filled. The sooner he could get the violent, scary hanyou away from his stall, the better! As it was, people were giving his booth a wide berth and it was making him lose business.

 

Scowling darkly, Inuyasha tapped his claws impatiently on the counter's surface as he watched the cook's every move.

 

Meanwhile, Kagome was on the other side of the small road and placing an order of her own. She was much more polite to the person working at that stall, and the man couldn't help but send up a small prayer of thanks that her hanyou friend hadn't followed her. Just in case, however, he thought it might be a good idea to speed things up should her companion suddenly get it in his head to join her.

 

“Thank you!” Kagome gratefully accepted her food from the cook. It smelled wonderful, and Kagome couldn't help but wonder what that idiot saw in his stupid ramen anyway. Not that ramen was bad...but really, having a fetish for it was just wrong!

 

`Okay, that's enough!' Kagome ordered herself sternly. `Don't think about that idiot anymore or you'll ruin your meal.' Satisfied that she was through dwelling upon the current bane of her existence, the hungry girl took the first bite of her food. Ah, heaven...she smiled happily, all thoughts of the idiot behind her forgotten in her food-induced bliss...

 

`Wow, this stuff is really good! I can't remember the last time I ate here.' Kagome took another bite and sighed thoughtfully. `It might have been before I graduated, because I remember coming here with Yuka, Eri, and Ayume. Wait! I can't think about them right now, because I'm still angry! They set me up with that obnoxious jerk!'

 

Okay, so maybe he wasn't quite as forgotten as she'd hoped.

 

Unable to help herself since her attempts at pretending he didn't exist had derailed, Kagome turned to look over her shoulder, planning to give Inuyasha her best evil eye. Stupid jerk, over there eating his stupid food and stupidly ignoring her like she wasn't even-

 

Wait, where did he go?

 

Suddenly worried that he'd used her distraction to skip out on her, she began frantically searching the area visually. He couldn't have gotten far, right? Wait, scratch that. He was a hanyou, so he was probably on the other side of Tokyo already and laughing his butt off at her at that very moment.

 

Feeling more upset then she thought she should be under the circumstances, Kagome whirled back around and attacked her food so viciously that it made the people around her stare with wide eyes. “Fine, be that way!” She muttered under her breath between bites. “I'm enjoying myself a lot more with you gone! So there!”

 

“Keh! You don't look like you're having all that much fun to me.”

 

Startled, Kagome nearly fell off her stool as she turned to find the source of the voice. Sure enough, there was Inuyasha standing next to her with an extra large, disposable bowl of ramen in his hands and his trademark smirk. “I thought you'd run off!” She blurted out, feeling suddenly embarrassed. Was she...actually relieved that he hadn't run off?

 

Inuyasha shrugged. “I almost did, but then I realized it would be more fun to torment you, seeing how you love ramen so much.” With a wicked grin, he lifted his chopsticks and began to nosily slurp his ramen like some kind of super-powered vacuum. “Bamn, shis suff is awthesome...” He managed to say around a mouthful of food.

 

“Agh! You are so disgusting!” Kagome cried, her annoyance with him back full force. What had she been thinking a few moments ago? Surely it had just been a momentary lapse of sanity on her part because there was no way that she was permanently crazy enough to actually want his company the rest of the time!

 

Feeling ill with the intentionally nasty display that Inuyasha was putting on with his food solely for her benefit, Kagome decided to abandon her own. Her churning stomach just couldn't take it anymore.

 

“Oi! Where are you going?” Inuyasha called after her as she stood up and walked down the street. She ignored him, but he was undeterred and followed her after tossing his empty ramen container and chopsticks.

 

Stupid girl, what was her problem anyway? Did she want him around, or not? One minute she'd seemed upset that he'd left, and the next she was angry and trying to get away from him as fast as she could. Was it that PMS thing that women always whispered about but would never explain? Inuyasha shook his head as he followed her, baffled.

 

`Well,' He reluctantly admitted to himself. `I must be as crazy as she is to have come back in the first place. Dunno why I did, but it couldn't have been because I was in my right mind.' He scowled fiercely at the girl's back as he tried to figure out where she might be going. It wasn't her home, because she was going in the opposite direction. So what was she up to? `You don't know where she's going, yet you are still following her like some kind of lovesick puppy.' His mind taunted him.

 

“I'm just curious, that's all!” Inuyasha snapped in response, feeling more than a little put out that she had already driven him to talking to himself. How much worse were things going to get?

 

Deciding he'd had enough of being ignored, Inuyasha broke into a trot and caught up with Kagome just as she was turning into a small park where children were happily playing. He looked around in confusion, wondering why she'd gone there of all places.

 

“Well?” She asked him, an expectant expression on her face.

 

“Well, what?” He responded. “What'd you come here for?”

 

Letting out a long-suffering sigh, Kagome patiently explained in a voice that made him feel like he was a dense little kid. “I thought you might like to go somewhere a little more on your level, since you keep acting like an immature, bratty little kid.” She suddenly grinned. “Now don't you feel more at home here than with the adults?”

 

Inuyasha was so ticked off that he couldn't even formulate a proper response. How DARE she mock him like that?!?!

 

“Now that I'm done babysitting, I think I'll head home now.” Her grin melted into an icy glare. “And if I EVER see you again, it'll be too soon! Have a nice life, dog-boy!”

 

Kagome walked away with her mind shouting gleefully and practically doing a jig in her head. `I'm free of him! I'm free of him! Good-bye forever to blind date number three!'

 

Behind her, Kagome heard him shout. “Like I ever want to see you again, either, Bi-” There was a pause as Inuyasha remembered that he was surrounded by a bunch of children and their potentially dangerous parents. “Woman!”

 

Kagome giggled and kept on walking.

 

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A/N: This is one of my favorite chapters ever, hands down! I've never attempted to write so much vicious bickering, and I had a ball doing it! I have to say that I'm particularly proud of the mantis comparison. That really does sum up Inuyasha's relationships with women, LOL...and a note about the food just in case you are wondering. I know okonomiyaki isn't a food used in the series, but I was trying to come up with another food that was sold a little more casually in an outside environment like that. I might be wrong, but hey, artistic license! In the end I actually picked it as a small nod to the Ranma series since it is by the same author.

 

Anyway, I hope you guys loved this chapter as much as I do! Review, and hopefully you'll inspire me to get the next chapter out soon, since things aren't looking too good for our favorite couple. Until then!