InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Flower Girl ❯ My First Dream of Love ( Chapter 45 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha.

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Rin shot a worried glance at her mother, then looked over at Shippo, who shook his head, and looked over at Sesshoumaru. Kagome's aura had been fluctuating all day, and even the children could see that something was wrong - her emotions were all over the place, one minute sad, the next happy, then regret would filter through.

Finally, Sesshoumaru called a halt, and pulled her aside.

"What is causing such a reaction in you, miko? You are unstable, and this one would like to know why. It is not like you."

Kagome looked up at him, and her lower lip quivered just a bit, before she inhaled deeply, obviously trying to regain control of herself.

"I...I need to," her voice wavered, "I need to talk to Sango, she can help me... please, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

He narrowed his eyes at her a little, but despite the formality, he didn't take her to task, as her emotional state was not good. Instead, he simply nodded, and waved the taijiya over.

"She says that she needs to talk to you, and that you can help her. Take her somewhere private, but not too far away, and let her say what she needs to."

Sango studied him for a minute, then nodded. He's genuinely worried about her... that's good. And he's calling a halt just so her needs can be met. He's worthy of her.

"Come on, Kagome, let's go have a good talk. You've got something to get off your chest, don't you?" she asked, as she led her rather distraught friend away.

Kanna watched the two leave, and wondered if it was something she had done. Before she could ask, however, Inuyasha spoke.

"It ain't you, Kanna, so don't worry about it. If you had upset Kagome, she'd take you aside and tell you what you'd done."

Sesshoumaru glanced at his brother, once again surprised at his words and attitude. Perhaps he is finally growing up - I think the void youkai is good for him.

Sango led Kagome to a small clearing about three minutes walk from where the others were, and sitting her friend down on the banks of a sweetly gurgling little stream, she encouraged her to put her bag down, and relax.

"Okay, Kagome, let it all out. What's on your mind?"

And Kagome began to cry, great big crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks. Opening her bag up, she pulled out her little drawing pad, and flipped it open to show a pretty white cluster of flowers, and ran her hands over it, an expression of sadness and regret crossing her face.

"I... just needed to get in a good cry, I guess. You see, I realized last night for the first time, admitted it to myself, that I'm really falling in love with him, Sango."

Sango frowned. "Who, Sesshoumaru?" When Kagome nodded tearily, she asked, "But why is that making you cry?"

"I'm not really crying about that. It's just..." she trailed off momentarily, voice choking, "I guess, my heart needs to say goodbye to what it felt for Inuyasha, grieve once more, and then close that door, forever." Kagome began to sob harder as a look of comprehension crossed Sango's face, and she wrapped her arms around her friend as she collapsed into them.

"I understand. Cry all you need to."

Tears rushed out of her eyes, to be immediately replaced by new ones as she deliberately ran all of her dreams and hopes about Inuyasha through her mind, crying for the loss of her first dream of love - for all the ups and downs of a relationship that they would never have, the children that wouldn't be born, and the hopes of growing old that would not happen with him came to one last, final death.

And then, when all her tears had been cried, she did just that, shoving all those dreams back into that little room in her mind - then, with one last, long look, she closed and locked that door... and threw away the key.

By that time, her emotions had calmed, all that was left was a sad, calm acceptance, and she drew back from Sango with a small smile of gratitude.

"Thanks, Sango. I needed that," she hiccuped, then chuckled a little. "With everything that's been happening, I just had been pushing all that aside - but with Sesshoumaru asking to court me, and all, it finally just burst out. I... needed to do that before I could fully and finally move on."

Sango nodded, watching as her friend gently tore out the page with the flower on it, and opening her bag, she took out her little scrapbook. Carefully placing the picture inside it, then smoothing the plastic over it, she closed the book, replacing it in her bag.

With a sigh, she stood, and waited for Sango to do so, then tucked her arm through her friends', and walked back to the group with her, feeling much better.

"Kagome, what was that picture you had?"

"It was white lilac," she said, softly, "and it means 'My first dream of Love'. That's why I put it in my scrapbook - what I hoped for with Inuyasha is nothing but a memory, now - and it's time for me to move on to my future. It's symbolic, I guess you could say."

"I understand, Kagome. I know it hurts to let go - but Sesshoumaru is good for you - and he cares. He may not say it, but he shows it through his actions."

"I know."

When they reached the clearing, she let go of Sango's arm with a soft thank you, and walked up to Inuyasha, taking the astonished hanyou into a hug.

"I really did love you, Inuyasha, and I always will - just in a different way. But I needed to say goodbye to what we had so I could go on to find my happiness - and it's something I hope you've done, as well," she whispered, not wanting anyone else to hear.

Inuyasha closed his eyes, pain shooting through him at her words, but a sad understanding also crossing his mind, and he nodded, squeezing her harder for one long moment... then he let go, and she stepped back - and it was done.

They both knew it, and while it would still hurt for a time, true healing could now commence.

With that, Kagome turned to Sesshoumaru, who was watching with a stoic, cold look, obviously not too happy about the embrace, and smiled widely. Walking up to him, she looked up into his face, and took his arm.

"I'm ready now, Sesshoumaru. I just had to make my goodbyes."

Sesshoumaru immediately eased his expression and stance, understanding what she was saying.

With a nod, he gave orders to move out...

And they left the past behind, eyes firmly on the future.

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A/N: I had to do this, because Kagome had to get the last of those dreams and hopes with Inuyasha dealt with, and put away before she could fully give herself and her heart to Sesshoumaru. There will always be a bit of sadness when she thinks of what might have been - but no pain. It was closure, plain and simple. On a side note, fanfic dot net has over five hundred reviews on this story! Thanks to all the reviewers!

Amber