InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Miko Bride ❯ The Miko Bride-Stormin' the Castle ( Chapter 12 )

(Cut to Kagome in her bridal gown. Naraku is busily tying a pearl choker around her neck. [Rim shot.])

Naraku: You don't seem excited, my little muffin.

Kagome: Should I be?

Naraku: Brides often are, I'm told.

Kagome: I do not marry tonight. Inuyasha will save me.

(Inuyasha and company are looking down over the courtyard and Kagura's sixty brutes. Sess supports Inuyasha over his shoulder. He shakes hands with Rouyakan. This is it. Meanwhile, Kagome and Naraku are standing before the altar. The clergyman enters, and he is the most impressive-looking man, slightly wrinkled, with a serene, saintly face. He stands behind the altar, and begins the ceremony.)

Impressive Clergyman: Mawidge…mawidge is what bwings us togewer today…

(He may look impressive, but his speech impediment would stop a clock.)

Clergyman: Mawidge, the bwessed awwangement, that dweam wiffin a dweam…

(Naraku is distracted by a commotion coming from outside.)

Kagura: Stand your ground, men!

(What's the problem? We learn soon enough. Kouga and her brutes are staring down a massive man, draped in black, who seems to be floating towards them.)

Rouyakan: I AM THE DREAD PIRATE KOUGA! THERE WILL BE NO SURVIVORS!

(Yes, the giant is none other than Rouyakan. He `floats' because he is standing in the wheelbarrow which is being pushed along by Sess, who is also supporting Inuyasha.)

Sesshomaru: Now?

Inuyasha: Not yet.

Rouyakan: MY MEN ARE HERE, AND I AM HERE. BUT SOON, YOU WILL NOT BE HERE!

(Kagura yells and shouts to try and keep the Brutes from running.)

Sesshomaru: Now?

Inuyasha: Light him.

(Sess touches a torch to the holocaust cloak, which instantly ignites, insulating Rouyakan from the flames at the same time.)

Rouyakan: THE DREAD PIRATE KOUGA TAKES NO PRISONERS! ALL YOUR WORST NIGHTMARES ARE ABOUT TO COME TRUE!

(Meanwhile, in the chapel, the clergyman plows on.)

Clergyman: Ven wuv, twoo wuv, wiw fowwow you fowever…

(Naraku nods at Hiten, who takes four samurai to investigate the commotion. Meanwhile, back in the courtyard, the Brutes have almost had enough.)

Rouyakan: THE DREAD PIRATE KOUGA IS HERE FOR YOUR SOULS!

(The Brutes panic and scatter everywhere.)

Kagura: Stay where you are! I said, stay where you are!

(Cut to the chapel.)

Clergyman: So tweasuwe your wuv…

Naraku: Skip to the end.

Clergyman: Have you the wing?

(Naraku produces the wing…er, ring from the folds of his cloak. The screams are very loud outside.)

Kagome: Here comes Inuyasha now.

(The courtyard. Kagura runs behind the portcullis, which is closing rapidly.)

Inuyasha: Rouyakan! The portcullis!

(Rouyakan catches the gate and heaves it back upward. Kagura watches in fear. Cut to the chapel. Naraku shoves the ring on Kagome's finger.)

Naraku: Inuyasha is dead. I killed him myself.

Kagome: Then why is there fear in your eyes?

(The courtyard. Kagura is pressed against the main gate.)

Sesshomaru: Give us the gate key.

Kagura: Gate key? What gate key? I have no gate key.

Sesshomaru: Rouyakan, tear her arms off.

Kagura: Oh, you mean this gate key.

(The chapel. The Impressive Clergyman is coming in for the home stretch.)

Clergyman: And do you, Pwincess Kagome…

Naraku: Man and wife. Say man and wife.

Clergyman: …man and wife.

Naraku: Take the bride to the Honeymoon Suite. I'll be there shortly.

(He runs off. Kagome stands there, dazed.)

Kagome: He didn't come…