InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Miko Bride ❯ The Miko Bride-Endgame ( Chapter 13 )

(Count Hiten and his men come to a stop in the corridor, seeing Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, and Rouyakan coming towards them Actually, Rouyakan is dragging Inuyasha, who is dragging Kagura's sword like a stiff dog leash.)

Hiten: Kill the dark one and the giant. Leave the third for questioning.

(The samurai attack. Maybe they're good, maybe they're better, but they never get the chance to show it, because Sess leaps at them, and the fourth is dead before the first hits the ground. He turns to Hiten, breathing heavily. He speaks softly, evenly, dangerously.)

Sesshomaru: Hello. My name is Sesshomaru. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

(Hiten blinks, lifts his staff…and runs like hell. Sess dashes after him without a moment's pause. Hiten runs through a heavy wooden door and locks it behind him. Sess throws himself against it to no avail.)

Sesshomaru: Rouyakan, I need you!

Rouyakan: I can't leave Inuyasha alone.

Sesshomaru: He's getting away from me, Rouyakan. Please…

Rouyakan: I'll be right back.

(He props Inuyasha against a suit of armor and charges down the corridors. With one swipe of his hand, the door falls down.)

Sesshomaru: Thank you.

(He runs through the door as we cut to another corridor of the castle. The King and Queen are leading Kagome to the Honeymoon Suite. The more sprightly Queen is several steps ahead. Kagome pauses and plants a kiss on the King's forehead.)

King: (Surprised and pleased.) What was that for?

Kagome: Because you have always kind to me. And we won't be seeing each other again, because I'm killing myself as soon as we reach the Honeymoon Suite.

King: Won't that be nice?

(He's all smiles-his hearing isn't what it used to be. As Kagome rushes ahead, he calls out to the Queen.)

King: She kissed me!

(Cut to Hiten, dashing madly through the hallways. Sess is running after, swift as a comet. Rouyakan comes to the intersection with the large suit of armor he propped Inuyasha against, and is astonished to find that he has vanished. Meanwhile, Hiten dashes down a staircase, draws a dagger, and turns around, throwing it into Sess as he comes down after him. It sticks deep into the Youkai's stomach.)

Sesshomaru: (Gasping.) S-sorry, Father. I tried…I tried.

Hiten: You must be that Youkai brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago. Have you been chasing me your whole life only to fail now? That has to be the worst thing I've ever heard. It should merit a whole chapter in my book.

(Kagome enters the Honeymoon Suite, and silently opens a jeweled box, removing a dagger. She seems peaceful and serene as she touches it to her bosom.)

Inuyasha: There's a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

(Kagome drops the dagger and whirls around to find Inuyasha stretched out on the bed, Kagura's sword beside him. Kagome leaps on the bed beside him, showering him with kisses.)

Kagome: Oh, Inuyasha!

Inuyasha: Gently.

Kagome: `Gently?' Is that all you can think to say at a time like this?

Inuyasha: Gently!

(She nods and lets go of him as we cut to Count Hiten, whose eyes widen in a mixture of surprise and fear. Sesshomaru is still moving. He pulls the dagger from his gut, and holds the wound with his left hand. Hiten hefts his staff.)

Hiten: You've got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It's going to get you into trouble some day.

(He throws a line of lightning at Sess. With no little effort, Sess deflects the attack into his left shoulder. The second blast is deflected into the right shoulder. Sess doesn't seem to even feel the strikes. He steps forward weakly, managing a few unexpected thrusts that force Hiten back.)

Sesshomaru: (All but inaudible.) Hello. My name is Sesshomaru. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

(Hiten swings his staff wildly, forcing Sess to retreat, but none of the blows get past the Youkai's defenses. Again, he pushes himself off the wall.)

Sesshomaru: (Slightly louder.) Hello. My name is Sesshomaru. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

(The count is becoming frantic now. Again and again he swings his staff, but Sess parries every blow, always moving forward.)

Sesshomaru: (Louder still.) Hello. My name is Sesshomaru. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Hiten: Stop saying that!

(He retreats around the table at the end of the room. Sess stabs him in the left shoulder, then the right, just where the count had struck him.)

Sesshomaru: HELLO. MY NAME IS SESSHOMARU. YOU KILLED MY FATHER. PREPARE TO DIE.

Hiten: No-

Sesshomaru: Offer me money.

(Sess brings his blade across Hiten's left cheek, cutting it open.)

Hiten: Yes…

Sesshomaru: Power too. Promise me that.

(The blade flashes across his right cheek. Hiten now bears Sesshomaru's scars.

Hiten: All that I have and more.

Sesshomaru: Promise me everything I want.

Hiten: Anything you want!

Sesshomaru: I WANT MY FATHER BACK YOU SON-OF-A-**Organ Noise**

(He brings his sword to bear, and stabs it through Hiten's heart. He removes the sword, and smiles slightly as the count collapses across the table, dead as a doornail.)

Sesshomaru: Wait a second! Where did that organ noise come from?

(A man in a business suit appears out of thin air.)

Man: Hello, I represent 4Bakas. We have just taken control of Inuyasha, and I daresay this show needs to be seriously revamped. Rampant swearing, nudity, unchecked violence. That's why from now on-ack!

(He never finishes his sentence; Sess runs him through. Cut to the Honeymoon Suite.)

Kagome: Inuyasha, can you ever forgive me?

Inuyasha: What hideous sin have you committed lately?

Kagome: I got married. I didn't want to. It all happened so fast.

Inuyasha: It never happened.

Kagome: But it did! This old man said `Man and wife.'

Inuyasha: Did you say `I do?'

Kagome: No. We skipped that part.

Inuyasha: Then you're not married. If you didn't say it, you didn't do it. Wouldn't you agree, Majesty?

(Naraku has entered the suite. His eyes widen, but he quickly composes himself and draws his sword.)

Naraku: A technicality that will soon be remedied. But first things first: To the death.

Inuyasha: No. To the pain.

Naraku: I'm not familiar with that phrase.

Inuyasha: I'll explain. And I'll use small words to be sure you can understand, you warthog-faced baboon.

Naraku: That may be the first time in my life anyone has dared to insult me.

Inuyasha: It won't be the last. `To the pain' means that the first thing you lose will be your feet below your ankles, then your hands at the wrist, next your nose.

Naraku: …and then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly last time, a mistake I do not intend to repeat.

Inuyasha: I wasn't finished! Next you will lose your right eye, followed by your left…

Naraku: And next my ears. I understand. Let's get on with it!

Inuyasha: Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish-every babe that whimpers at your approach, every woman who weeps `Ye Gods, what is that thing,' will echo in your perfect ears. That is what `to the pain' means. That I leave you in anguish, to wallow in freakish misery forever.

Naraku: I think you're bluffing…

Inuyasha: It's possible. I might be bluffing-it's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I am lying here because I lack the strength to stand. Then again, perhaps I have the strength after all.

(Slowly, but surely, Inuyasha begins to move. With much effort, he pushes himself to his feet and presses his blade against Naraku's neck.)

Inuyasha: DROP YOUR SWORD!

(Panicked, Naraku tosses his sword to the ground.)

Inuyasha: Have a seat.

(He does.)

Inuyasha: Tie him up. Make it as tight as you like.

(Kagome sets to work. Sess enters.)

Sesshomaru: Where's Rouyakan?

Inuyasha: I thought he was with you.

Sesshomaru: No.

Inuyasha: Well, in that case…

(He stumbles, and grabs onto the bedpost for balance.)

Sesshomaru: Help him.

Kagome: Why does he need helping?

Sesshomaru: He has no strength.

Naraku: I knew it! I knew he was bluffing!

(He clams up when he finds Sesshomaru's blade at his throat.)

Sesshomaru: Shall I dispatch him for you?

Inuyasha: Hell yes! Than I can collect all the Shikon Shards he has!

Sesshomaru: Those don't exist in this story.

(Sound of glass shattering.)

Author: Now look what you did! Repairing the fourth wall is expensive! Do you know how much 4D contractors charge?

Inuyasha and Sesshomaru: Sorry.

(Inuyasha clears his throat and starts over as soon as the Author leaves.)

Inuyasha: Thank you but no. Whatever happens to us, I want him to live a long life, alone with his cowardice.

(Rouyakan's voice comes in from off-screen.)

Rouyakan: Sesshomaru? Sesshomaru, where are you?

(Inuyasha, Sess, and Kagome move to the balcony. Rouyakan is waiting below with four white horses.)

Rouyakan: Oh there you are! I was passing the stables and I saw these four horses, and I thought there are four of us, if we ever find the lady-hello lady-so I took them with me in case we bumped into each other. And I guess we just did.

Sesshomaru: Rouyakan, you did something right!

Rouyakan: Don't worry, I won't let it go to my head.

(Rouyakan holds out his arms. Kagome leaps down. He catches her and sets her in the saddle. Sess glances at Inuyasha.)

Sesshomaru: It's strange. I've been in the revenge business so long. Now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.

Inuyasha: Have you considered piracy? You'd make a great Dread Pirate Kouga.

(The two of them jump to their horses, and the four of them ride into the sunset.)

Grandpa: They rode to freedom. And as dawn arose, Kagome and Inuyasha knew they were safe. As they reached for each other…

(The couple begin their ultimate kiss…and everything stops. We're back in Shippo's bedroom. Grandpa shuts the book.)

Shippo: What? What happened?

Grandpa: No, it's kissing again. You don't want to hear it.

Shippo: I don't mind so much anymore.

Grandpa: No.

Shippo: Please?

Grandpa: No.

Shippo: Please?

Grandpa: No.

Shippo: Please?

Grandpa: No.

Shippo: Please?

Grandpa: No.

Shippo Please?

Grandpa: No.

Shippo: Pretty please with a cherry on top?

Grandpa: No.

Shippo: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!

Grandpa: All right, all right.

(He opens the book and begins to read again. We return to the grassy field. Inuyasha leans over to Kagome and they share the ultimate kiss. As Grandpa says…)

Grandpa: Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all in the dust. The end.

(Back in Shippo's bedroom, he closes the book and stands up.)

Grandpa: Now I really think you ought to go to sleep.

Shippo: Okay.

Grandpa: Okay. Goodbye. Farewell. Auf Weidershen. Adieu.

Shippo: Grandpa?

Grandpa: Yes?

Shippo: Maybe you could come back tomorrow and read it to me again?

Grandpa: (Softly.) As you wish.

(Shippo smiles and falls asleep. Grandpa opens the door and leaves quietly as we fade out.)

The End!