InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Pain of Loss ❯ Denial ( Chapter 2 )

Hours passed. A deep inky blackness had flooded the sky and sprinkled it with an uneven smattering of stars. The harsh sobs that had been heard coming from the old miko's hut had long since faded away. Inside Kaede's hut, Inuyasha, Sango, and Miroku sat in a circle, their grim countenances illuminated by the flickering fire in between them. In the corner, a lumpy form under some heavy blankets was breathing slowly and heavily, a sure sign that Kagome had long since fallen asleep, Shippo snuggling in her arms. Kaede had gone out to help a young village woman through a long and difficult labor an hour ago.

The three sat awake, whispering to one another in hushed tones as to not awaken the sleeping girl in the corner.

"Can you imagine what Kagome-sama must be feeling right now? Not just to lose a friend or a family member, but the entire species of one's population?" Miroku said sadly. To know that in the future, man would continue to become so corrupted and power-hungry that they would resort to destroying their entire world sickened him inside. It appeared there was no hope for man.

Inuyasha and Sango sat in silence, both lost in their own thoughts.

Sango remembered the pain of learning that her entire village had been destroyed. It had nearly torn her apart inside. She remembered the pain of being the only one left and the thought that she alone would have to carry on the traditions of the taijyas. Then she had discovered that Kohaku still lived, though always under the control of their dreaded foe, Naraku. Knowing that she wasn't alone had done wonders for her. Although she had made progress, thanks to her new friends, inside she had remained depressed and angry. It was knowing that there was still a chance for Kohaku that had instilled her with a new hope and determination to save her sibling's soul. She resolved that Kagome needed them more than ever, and Sango would make herself always available for a long talk with the girl.

Inuyasha's eyes were on Kagome's sleeping shape in the corner, watching over her with a film of concern over his eyes. This would not be an easy journey for her. If anyone knew what it was to be lonely, it was him. His ears twitched slightly when Kagome moaned in her sleep and rolled over to face him. Her lids fluttered a bit, and her mouth was etched in a frown, but her heavy breathing confirmed that she was still asleep.

-She's having a nightmare.- He thought to himself. -She should get used to it. There'll be a lot of them from now on.-

* * * * *

A few more hours passed. Sango and Miroku had also gone to sleep, and Inuyasha was now leaning against the wall by the door, his head against his chest, and that half-sleep state where he remained coherent and alert to the world around him, but allowed him to get some rest, as well.

Kagome's eyes fluttered open, and she took a moment to remember her dream. Her eyes sparkled with hope and she stood up, careful not to wake the sleeping kitsune. She slipped on some shoes and carefully crept from the hut.

Immediately after she left, Inuyasha's eyes shot open and he stood up, turning to follow her. Cautious not to tip her off of his presence, he crept after her, stepping softly and quietly. She was walking, but she obviously had a destination in mind as she had a somewhat quick and determined step. He allowed her to continue on her walk, thinking that some fresh air and time to herself could do her some good.

When they entered the familiar clearing, he realized where she was going. She pulled one leg over the edge of the well before he leapt to her and held her shoulder, pulling her back.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He asked loudly with an accusing tone.

He saw guilt pass over her eyes, only to be quickly replaced with anger. "What do you think I'm doing?" She yelled back, just as loudly. "I'm going back home!"

"Oh, no you're not, Wench!" He exclaimed fiercely.

"But I have to!" She screeched, trying to push him away from her unsuccessfully.

"WHY?" He demanded, grabbing both of her shoulders and turning her to face him. She refused to look him in the eye, and he felt like someone had punched him in the gut. Why wouldn't she look at him? What was going on with her?

Kagome continued to struggle, but he wouldn't let her go. "Kagome, there still might be raydeeshun there, and I can't let you get sick, or even sicker if you got whatever it is!"

"I DON'T CARE!" She screamed loudly, causing his ears to flatten themselves against his hair in pain.

"DON'T YOU SEE, OR ARE YOU TOO STUPID!?" She demanded of him.

Trying to keep from looking as hurt as he felt, he said quietly, "Maybe I am too stupid. What is it that I can't see?" He asked, pain clearly dripping from his tone.

"They're still alive!" She said, and finally her eyes met with his. His eyes widened in shock. She actually believed that they were still alive. All anger had left her voice, only to be replaced with a soft hope that made him feel a drop in the pit of his stomach.

Taking advantage of his shock, Kagome screamed, "SIT!" and he went crashing down to the floor. She once again pulled a leg of the edge of the well, before a voice stopped her.

"No, Kagome-chan. They are not alive. They are dead." An old voice croaked through the trees and Kagome turned around, eyes wild and glassy. The old miko crept from the trees, using a bow to aid her aged walk.

"You don't understand, Kaede-obaa-chan. I had a dream! They're still alive! They ran to the basement when the bomb hit, but the destruction blocked all the exits and now they're trapped! They need me!" She yelled.

Kaede held out her arms and seized Kagome's shoulders. She looked Kagome straight in the eye. Many times had Kaede dealt with this type of reaction to death. Women who had lost husbands to war or children to disease that simply refused to accept that they had lost their loved ones. They continued to search for their husbands at their meeting places, or called for their children to come in from play long after they had died.

While Inuyasha struggled to stand under the subduing spell, Kaede spoke in a gentle, yet firm voice. "They are gone, Kagome. You must accept that. Inuyasha found their remains."

"NO!" She screamed. She began thrashing about in Kaede's grasp, demanding to be released. By now, Inuyasha's "sit" had worn off and he jumped up and wrapped himself around the hysterical Kagome. This way, if she "sat" him, he would just pull her down with him. Hopefully, in her delirious state, she would recognize that.

"No no no no no no no…" Kagome chanted, like a mantra, over and over again. She had stopped struggling and now just hung limply in Inuyasha's strong embrace. Soon, her eyes shut and Inuyasha picked her up, holding her tightly to his chest. What was going on with her? She seemed so…out of touch with reality. She actually believed that her family was still alive.

The thought chilled him, and it only now struck him to severity of the painful journey through which Kagome was about to suffer.

* * * * *

Inuyasha strode briskly through the forest that was named after him, allowing his nose to lead him to Kagome's whereabouts. She had made much progress in the last month. It had taken a lot of time and support from her friends, but it was finally seeping in that her family was gone. He knew that sooner than he liked, she would have to rebuild her emotional foundation.

He stopped in front of Goshinboku and looked up. He saw the familiar flash of green that told him Kagome was perched in a relatively low branch. He was a bit surprised that she had gotten up on her own, and pushed down the irritation he felt that she had done something that could possibly hurt her.

"Are you going to come up here and join me or stand there watching me all day?" She called down. He shook his head clear of thoughts and leapt up to the branch. Kagome had moved slightly forward to allow him room and he leaned back against the bark of the trunk. Kagome snuggled warmly into his open arms, and he wrapped them tightly around her. She knew she wouldn't fall as long as she had his strong arms around her, protecting her from the hard ground below.

"How did you get up here?" Inuyasha asked gently. Kagome scoffed.

"You forget that I grew up around this tree. I've been climbing it since I was seven. My mom used to yell at me when I-." She stopped, pushing back the pain she inevitably felt.

They sat in silence for a moment, listening to the sounds of the wind whistling gently through the trees and the buzzing silence that nipped at their ears. Suddenly, a beautiful young mejiro landed on the branch, a few feet away from Kagome. She watched in fascination as it cocked its head at her, the bright yellow splash on its forehead giving it a beautiful dash of color. Its small, black, beady eyes, drowning in pools of white bore into her for a moment, before deeming her acceptable. It bobbed its head, using its curved black bill to search for food in a crevice of the bark.

Kagome moved forward slightly and the bird, now spooked, spread its olive-green wings and flew off.

Kagome leaned back into Inuyasha and closed her eyes. There was beauty in the world, despite the deaths of her family.

-And they are dead.- She thought bitterly, failing to cover the tears pooling in her eyes. It hurt so badly, still. When she remembered her loved ones, a hurricane of emotions overwhelmed her to the point where she couldn't think straight. Inuyasha saved her from this hurricane.

Was it just her, or had his arms tightened around her waist?