InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Uke ❯ Self-disgust and the Joy of Rin ( Chapter 27 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
A/N Have a lovely holiday, ya'll!
WARNING- This chapter MAY contain: angst, fluff, foul language, Male/Male, anal sex, oral sex, non-consensual sexual acts, spanking, incest, or violence.
Chapter 27 - Self-Disgust and the Joy of Rin
Inuyasha clenched his fists to keep his hands from shaking. He was so fucking stupid. He deserved to get killed for being this fucking stupid, and still, he couldn't force himself to go out the damn door.
How long was it gonna take before he knew it was okay? It wasn't the new moon, dammit! He could smell now. He knew he could smell now. He could smell Kagome's sweet scent, the monk's partial arousal, Kouga's still bloody fur, and Sesshoumaru's clean musk. He could even smell Kaede's herbs lingering along the wall and around her elderly body, but he still felt half blind. He still felt as vulnerable as he ever had when he was human: blind, deaf, unable to scent for shit.
He didn't smell or hear anything outside the door but humans, but what if he was wrong? What if his nose was failing him again and something was out there waiting for them?
What if Naraku wasn't really dead?
He started to hear the bastard's voice in his head and shook himself. No, he had to be dead. Sesshoumaru wouldn't make a mistake; he was dead. He was dead.
…wasn't he?
“You will follow.” Inuyasha's hackles went up at Sesshoumaru's command. He could fucking suck ass before Inuyasha was going to follow him anywhere. He'd go first, dammit. He'd step in front of the bastard and go out first.
“Fucking asshole.”
Inuyasha looked at the doorway, cringing as he couldn't keep his ears from flattening slightly. If there was something out there that he couldn't smell, he wasn't going to be caught again. The very idea made him want to growl. He'd show them. He'd leap outside with his claws out and fangs bared; he'd kill any fucking thing that thought it was good enough to take him. He'd be ready this time.
Except what if it wasn't a youkai? What if a villager came by and Inuyasha killed him instead?
Inuyasha swallowed, seeing Kagome's eyes as he almost took her head off with Tessaiga. What was he thinking? He was such a fucking moron. Gods, he had to keep everyone away from him if he was acting like such a stupid ass. He was going to get someone killed. He had to wait until he knew it was safe outside, then he wouldn't freak out as though he were full youkai.
He needed Sesshoumaru to go first. If Sesshoumaru went ahead of him, if he was near him, Inuyasha knew everyone would be safe. Even Inuyasha would be safe, at least from everything but Sesshoumaru. His brother had probably never been fucking fooled by a weird scent; the bastard would be able to tell if anything was skulking around. Miroku's ability to detect demonic auras was almost as good, but Sesshoumaru's nose wouldn't miss a damn thing. He'd make sure nothing was there.
Inuyasha stared at the long silvered hair in front of him as it flowed with a condescending little wave and self-disgust hit him hard. He couldn't stand that he was relying on Sesshoumaru. He was following him like a damn underling. Like an obsequious lackey.
Like an inferior, cowardly, powerless uke.
He hated him.
He hated his hair, and his smirk, and his face, and even his damn, silk clothes.
He HATED him.
Condescending Asshole. Bastard. Lecherous, bullying, supercilious, interfering, snide, insulting son of a bitch.
Seeing that arrogant stride, walking around like he'd never been afraid, or weak, or …worthless… Inuyasha wanted to hurt him so damn badly. He couldn't hurt the villagers, but Sesshoumaru… He wanted to feel his claws tear into Sesshoumaru's back until it was shredded. He wanted to grab Sesshoumaru's head and pound it into the ground. He wanted his brother to cry and beg and plead and bleed and… and…
Inuyasha took a shuddering breath, his face and eyes prickling painfully as he scrabbled again for control. Forcing air in and out of his lungs in a well-practiced rhythm, he pulled himself back from the edge. He would not let himself act like such a puling weakling. Next time, he'd go out by himself, dammit. It didn't matter if the thought made him want to scream until his belly ached from it, he would do it.
He'd do it, and he would NOT scream. He wouldn't give the bastard the satisfaction of seeing him lose it again. He wouldn't let his brother see him… weak.
His body froze at the thought, goose bumps sprouting along his skin. All he could feel was a hard length, icy and cold, pressing against his ass as red eyes mocked him. Why could he still feel him? The slimy touch lingered on his skin no matter how many times he tried to rub it off; he was filthy with it. How could everyone keep touching him when he was this filthy? They needed to just leave him alone.
He couldn't understand why they still believed. They still thought that things might turn out well. Didn't they understand? All the good things they wanted would end. The only thing that lasted was pain. Hunger and pain and loneliness and humiliation... He'd never been able to keep them away. His mother's death and Kikyou's hatred and his brother; the pain never stopped coming. Miroku could make fun all he liked, but Inuyasha hadn't been joking. Life was pain.
But it didn't fucking matter. Life could be needles under your skin or roses and sugar, but either way, you sucked it up or you died, simple as that. And whatever stupid ass crap the humans were all thinking, he wasn't going to lay down and die. It wasn't like he'd been mortally wounded or something, it was just another battle with Naraku…
“I beg you to take me.” Inuyasha's ears went flat against his skull as his own words seemed to float in the air.
“Let's put that loud mouth of yours to use first, uke.”
His bit his tongue as he forced himself not to whimper in renewed self-disgust. He'd asked that fuckin' bastard to…
“Watch where you step, Inuyasha. Or are you so clumsy that you actually need my assistance?”
Inuyasha growled under his breath. Gods how he hated him! Why couldn't he fucking leave him alone? His throat vibrated with the need to snarl out loud. Sesshoumaru was such a fucking asshole; he'd kept insulting him and picking at him the entire damn day, and the feeling in his head was so off it was making everything worse.
Why wasn't his brother angry? He should be furious that Inuyasha had dared to even touch him, let alone attack him at the springs like he'd done, but he wasn't. He sneered and mocked and threatened, and not one time did he feel angry or disgusted inside of Inuyasha's head. How was that possible? He'd ALWAYS been disgusted with Inuyasha. Inuyasha's whole fucking life, from the moment Sesshoumaru had seen him, his brother had looked down on him, if not expressed his hatred outright and beaten him bloody. Why wasn't he feeling that way in his head when he was being such a bastard?
“This Sesshoumaru would never lower himself to mark a being who was `nothing.'”
What the hell had made him say that? Sesshoumaru would never feel that way. He had to be lying, because it didn't make any sense at all. Having Inuyasha's pathetic weakness in front of him, seeing him begging on his knees for Naraku to take him - Sesshoumaru's disgust should have grown, and instead…
He almost felt….soft. He was such an asshole; Inuyasha still hated the bastard, but what the hell was that fucked up warm feeling that popped into his head as Sesshoumaru insulted him?
Why hadn't he raped him? If Inuyasha couldn't kill Naraku or feel Sesshoumaru's blood on his claws, at least he could have felt- something. Sharp and piercing pain, something to blot out every last thought for just a few moments, but the bastard had refused. He'd been trying to fuck with Inuyasha's body for days now, threatening to make him damn well beg, and then when his overbearing asshole of a brother could have helped, he'd abandoned him just like he'd always done before. Why Inuyasha had even bothered trying to get Sesshoumaru to do something for him, he had no idea. Sesshoumaru was his mate, but he sure as hell wasn't a friend. Inuyasha should never have let him know what he wanted; of course Sesshoumaru would refuse to do something for him.
Wasn't that pretty much his whole fucking life? Sesshoumaru had deliberately tormented Inuyasha for so long it was practically a religion. Why should it change now? He probably just wanted to make sure Inuyasha pleaded enough. He probably wanted to make him beg
Inuyasha wished he'd just get it over with so Inuyasha could spit in his face. So Sesshoumaru had made him beg as Naraku. It would NEVER happen again. Inuyasha might lose the fight, but he would not beg. He would not beg…
“On your knees is exactly where a worthless uke like yourself should be.”
…he would not…
“…what a stain on the surface of this world you truly are, Inuyasha.”
He took some more deep breaths and whined and growled at the same time. Well…so the fuck what if everyone thought he was a pile of shit? Yeah, so he was worthless. Like everyone in his whole gods damned life hadn't told him that every damn day? Humans, demons, his brother, even Miroku when he'd first met him had thought Inuyasha wasn't `worthy' enough to have the shikon jewel.
Everyone had thought he was worthless but Kagome. She was still worrying about Inuyasha; he could smell it. He'd almost killed her, and she was worrying about HIM! She was so stupid. She was going to get herself killed if she kept hanging around him.
He wouldn't let her. Naraku was dead now, so he could leave and…
A breeze blew Inuyasha's hakama against his legs, brushing against his thighs, and Naraku's voice slid through his mind again. Maggot pale fingers caressed his inner legs, pushing them up towards his chest. He couldn't move! He had to move, because Naraku's hands were on him, digging into his thighs and his stomach. Naraku was going to… Inuyasha shuddered, his vision graying.
No. Naraku hadn't touched him. He hadn't. It hadn't happened. It didn't happen! Inuyasha whined, his throat tight, his eyes clenched shut.
“Inuyasha.” Sesshoumaru's voice had his vision returning instantly. He stared at his brother, breathing hard for a moment as the setting sun glared down at him and his brother…didn't. What the hell was that feeling in his head?!
“Wh-what the hell are you looking at?” Inuyasha struggled to keep his voice gruff rather than the pathetic whining cringe that he felt waiting in his throat. Why did his brother keep fucking talking to him?
Why didn't he take him? Why wouldn't he rape him and give him something besides Naraku's body to remember against his own? As though in answer, the breeze blew cloth against his ass and he remembered Sesshoumaru's hand on him. He remembered it IN him. Inuyasha was such a fucking pathetic uke bitch. That was why it had felt good, wasn't it? He was a revolting, worthless bitch.
“I can hardly believe you'd be worth the time it would take to fuck you.”
Inuyasha's legs started shaking as he shook his head back and forth until Sesshoumaru interrupted his thoughts again. “Where are you, Inuyasha?” His voice was so soft Inuyasha almost didn't hear it. He didn't answer.
Sesshoumaru didn't care about him. He had to remember that. Whatever weird things seemed to be coming off of him - worry, shame, sorrow - Inuyasha couldn't forget who he was. He didn't really feel things like that. Sesshoumaru hadn't regretted anything since he'd been whelped.
“Perhaps I was…mistaken.”
What the hell had he meant? Sesshoumaru didn't make mistakes, and he wouldn't admit them if he did. Why had he said that? What the fuck was he trying to do?
Why hadn't Sesshoumaru's touching hurt?
Still shaking his head, Inuyasha snarled silently. It didn't make sense, but so the fuck what? Like it mattered? Sesshoumaru was going to come after his ass eventually, wasn't he? And if Kagome or Miroku tried to step in, they'd die. They just would. They had to. He couldn't trust Sesshoumaru not to hurt them. If anything, Naraku had reminded him of that: Sesshoumaru thought Inuyasha was completely, utterly worthless. Inuyasha had almost let himself forget. Maybe he'd wanted something to turn out right so badly that he'd been willing to let himself have the tiniest bit of hope, but he had to stop.
Whatever incomprehensible things Sesshoumaru had been doing, whatever ways he'd been acting, Inuyasha could NOT trust Sesshoumaru. He had to remember what his brother thought of him, all the things he'd done to him. Sesshoumaru would never, ever do something that didn't end up for his benefit or Inuyasha's detriment, usually both. He always had a reason for what he did. So staying by Inuyasha, holding him in the water, refraining from bloodying him when Inuyasha insulted him: it had to be planned. Was he trying to gain Inuyasha's trust so that he could crush him even more when he betrayed him? It had to be that, didn't it? The soft feeling had nothing to do with Inuyasha, because he knew the truth. Sesshoumaru despised Inuyasha.
And Inuyasha was never going to let himself forget that again.
Sesshoumaru hated Inuyasha so much… Inuyasha grunted again to himself as he remembered what his brother had said earlier. Inuyasha was `going with him' now? When fucking pigs took to the air. He wasn't going to be anywhere near the bastard. He'd leave. Naraku was dead now; he could leave. Or he'd fight him…
Inuyasha saw himself as before, beaten so badly that thinking was enough to make his muscles scream at him. Would Sesshoumaru do that again? Could Sesshoumaru judge just how hard to hit so Inuyasha would be completely helpless as Sesshoumaru took his body over and over? He shivered as his muscles tensed. He wanted Sesshoumaru to rape him, but he didn't want….
Whispered phrases ran through his ears again. Hopeless. Pathetic. Weak. Useless. Worthless Uke.
He didn't…
He just wanted him to fucking leave him the hell alone! Why couldn't everyone leave him alone? “Just go away,” he whispered.
“Inuyasha.” Soft warmth brushed his mind at the same time Sesshoumaru touched his shoulder and he jumped back.
“What?! I'm right here, fucker, why the hell are you touching me?” Inuyasha's heart pounded painfully. Fucker. He'd been standing so close and Inuyasha hadn't - Inuyasha looked around and realized he'd been standing perfectly still, just a few steps outside Kaede's. Dammit, how long had he been standing here? His back flinched as he realized there were people behind him and he slid quickly to the side to keep them in sight. It was just Kagome and Miroku and the others. Just his friends.
He couldn't stop himself from sliding just a bit further away to make sure he could see them all, and he wanted to claw himself for it.
“Inuyasha. Inuyasha?” Inuyasha tuned around to keep him in sight as well. “Inuyasha, this is my ward.”
Inuyasha stared at Sesshoumaru. What the hell was Sesshoumaru doing? Movement caught his eye and he looked down, finally noticing the small, dark haired child standing by Sesshoumaru's side. “Rin, this is my mate, Inuyasha.”
Inuyasha couldn't think for a moment. A kid? Sesshoumaru had wanted to force him outside to meet at some stupid kid? He looked at her, sniffing. Yeah, she was still as human as she'd been last time. He smiled bitterly to himself. Sesshoumaru would let some stupid little human kid follow him around, but he would have beat the shit out of Inuyasha if he'd tried that sort of thing when he was young. Not that he would have; Sesshoumaru had scared him spitless when he was a kid. Everything had scared him spitless then.
Now… now he was just an adult coward, mated to a youkai who obviously cared more for a girl-child from a race he hated than he did for his half-blooded brother. Inuyasha had already known he was pretty much the lowest thing from pond-scum as far as Sesshoumaru was concerned, hadn't he? Didn't this just prove it? He stared at Rin, ignoring the newest ache that settled in a familiar spot in his gut.
“Lord Inuyasha!” The odd little girl beamed up at him like he was her best friend in the world and she ran up to hand him a bundle of bedraggled flowers.
When he just stared at her dumbly, she reached over and found his hand, wrapping his fingers around her offering. Her fingers left an oddly pleasant warmth behind when they retreated. It was bizarre; she seemed so…alive. This was the kid with Sesshoumaru? What the hell was wrong with her? No one could stay this cheerful and still be with his brother unless they were brain damaged. Was there some kind of spell on her?
“They're pretty! Just like you!”
“Don't be stupid. Boys aren't pretty.” Inuyasha said gruffly, still staring. He looked up to Sesshoumaru to find him watching calmly. What was going on?
She giggled. “You're funny. Of course boys are pretty! Lord Sesshoumaru has to have a pretty bride; Master Jaken said so. Lord Sesshoumaru has to have the prettiest bride of all the youkai! Lord Sesshoumaru married Lord Inuyasha, so you must be the prettiest boy ever!”
Inuyasha scowled at her, dropping the flowers. “I ain't no bride, kid. And I sure as hell ain't pretty. Who the fuck is Jaken anyway?”
Sesshoumaru spoke up. “My retainer.” Inuyasha stared at him. Were Sesshoumaru's cheeks a little pink? Huh?
Must be a trick of the light.
What had he said? “Oh yeah, that little toadying kappa.” Inuyasha wanted to turn away. He wanted to just walk away and keep walking until he was so exhausted he couldn't even think, but that stupid little beaming smile kept him captive. He stared at her. “Why the hell are you hanging out with Sesshoumaru?”
Rin continued to smile up at him. “Because Lord Sesshoumaru is the best Lord in the whole world and he wouldn't ever, ever, ever let someone hurt me.”
Inuyasha glared at his brother, anger twisting inside. Stupid kid. Asshole probably killed her parents or something, and now she was stuck with two human hating youkai as her only protection? And she thought she was safe??
That was almost worse than what Sesshoumaru had done to him. At least when Inuyasha was orphaned he'd had to look out for himself. He wasn't tricked into relying on someone who was going to betray him when saving Inuyasha turned out to be too burdensome.
Rin picked up the flowers he'd dropped and wrapped his fingers around them again. “You dropped your flowers, Lord Inuyasha.”
He couldn't take his eyes off her. That innocent belief… She reminded him of someone. What the hell did that look remind him of? Who was it? His brain worked the thought around and finally his gaze flicked to Kagome momentarily and darted back to Rin.
Inuyasha cleared his throat. “Well. Thanks.”
“Lord Inuyasha thanked me! Did you hear, Lord Sesshoumaru? Lord Inuyasha thanked me!! Your welcome, your welcome, your welcome -” Rin did a little sing song chant as she practically danced in front of him. Inuyasha continued to stare. “You are the best, most gracious bride ever, just like Jaken said you would be!”
Inuyasha instantly scowled. “Don't listen to a thing that kappa has to say, kid. He'll fuck up your brain.”
Rin looked at him, suddenly still as her eyes went big and round. “Fuck up? What's that mean?”
“Never mind, Rin.” Sesshoumaru raised one censuring eyebrow in Inuyasha's direction that made his hackles rise.
“It means he'll make your brain think stupidly. You gotta think smart, so don't listen to him.”
Rin smiled up at him again. “Don't worry, Lord Inuyasha! Lord Sesshoumaru would never let someone stay near him who would fuck up brains.”
“Rin, you will cease using that term.” Sesshoumaru ordered.
“Yes, Lord Sesshoumaru!” Inuyasha watched as she beamed just as happily as if he'd complemented her. Poor squirt must be starving for affection if a few stupid words could make her smile like that. He could just barely remember that feeling, that desperate need to catch a glimpse of another human, or hear the sounds of actual speech. Creeping next to a village once a month for protection, he remembered trying to stay as close as possible, just to hear another person; he could even remember a couple sharing a scrap of food, once, that was too spoiled for them to stomach.
That fucked up need had been enough to keep him coming back, until that bastard had seen him. Fucking blacksmith with his crumbling, rough voice…
Beg me to stick it in you, boy. You know you want it, little whore.”
Rough tones smoothed into rancid oil as Naraku's voice poured over him. “Get on your knees and beg me to take you.”
“Inuyasha? Inuyasha?” Sesshoumaru's voice was a tinny echo in his head.
…on your knees…”
# # #
Sesshoumaru swallowed. Inuyasha was drowning in the pain again. Dammit. He drew Rin back as he stepped close. Every time he interfered he thought it might be the time that Inuyasha completely snapped and lashed out at whatever was around him. Bracing himself, he reached out and placed one finger on Inuyasha's ear. Naraku had never touched him there; hopefully it had no bad memories associated with it. The ear flicked away from his touch and he followed, rubbing the soft fur between two fingers in a gentle caress that finally made Inuyasha's blank stare focus on him, startled.
“Wh-what?” Inuyasha looked around him, saw his friends watching them both with curious, concerned eyes, and spluttered. “Get the fuck away from me, you freakin' p-pervert!”
“You must be hungry.” Rin's voice broke the awkward silence following Inuyasha's outburst.
“That's what Jaken says when Rin doesn't notice things.” She nodded as though the annoying sycophant had the answer for everything. “Humans need to eat more often, and that's why they do so many stupid things.” She paused as she stared up at Inuyasha's ears. “Does Lord Inuyasha do stupid things too?”
Sesshoumaru reminded himself that he couldn't strangle Jaken without upsetting Rin. Not that he didn't agree about humans and their stupidity, but he had always refrained from expressing his opinions on the matter in front of Rin. It was common courtesy. Although it seemed to have distracted Inuyasha…
“No! I don't do stupid things!” Inuyasha paused as a number of his friends started coughing into their hands. He flushed slightly. “I mean, sometimes, `cause everyone can act like an idiot and all. But, fuck… youkai do just as much stupid shit as humans do! You remember that!”
“Yes, Lord Inuyasha!” Sesshoumaru noticed a similar tone to her voice that she had when speaking to him.
“And don't call me Lord, dammit!”
“Yes, Lady Inuyasha!” Rin hummed to herself, completely oblivious to Inuyasha's growling.
“Don't call me Lady either, dammit! I'm male!”
“Yes, Lord Inuyasha!”
“Dammit! Just Inuyasha! It's just Inuyasha!”
“Yes, Just Inuyasha!”
Inuyasha goggled at her until the mischievous sparkle in her eye must have registered and then he cuffed her lightly on the head. “Brat.”
“Yes, Inuyasha.” Rin smiled up at him.
Sesshoumaru looked at Inuyasha, smiling inside as he noted that the nervous tremors that had been growing before were fading. He knew Rin would be good for him, although he wished his mate's friends had been more helpful. But Inuyasha seemed to be constantly retreating into his mind, his body stinking of fear and hurt. Being around his companions was not helping. He needed to sleep tonight, to recover, but he couldn't do it here. Even with slightly less pain, his senses still seemed jumpy and nervous, as though he were trying to track everything around him. Dusk was almost done, and Inuyasha needed some peace…
“Rin, you will remain here with the human Miko.” Sesshoumaru told her. Rin turned around and spotted the miko, giving out an excited squeal.
“Miss Kagome!” She skipped over and hugged the bitch around the legs as the female bent over and embraced her. The monk looked over at Inuyasha before staring at Sesshoumaru with dark, solemn eyes. Sesshoumaru refused to acknowledge him.
“We are leaving for the night, Inuyasha. Come.” He turned as though to go, listening for Inuyasha's reaction.
“I'm not going anywhere with you.” Inuyasha growled. His scent and his mind spiked with panic.
“I believe you said that before. The phrase is beginning to grow tiresome.” He injected as much mockery into his voice as he could, hoping Inuyasha would focus on it more than the thought of being alone with him. He needed to get him away. He didn't care if Inuyasha screamed or raged or even attacked him, but his mate needed space and privacy, and if he needed to rage, then he could do so. He didn't seem capable of releasing himself fully with his friends there to witness it, and Sesshoumaru thought that there was a need. Inuyasha needed someplace to scream.
Sesshoumaru couldn't stand to feel him in his head this way. Inuyasha wouldn't worry for his friends any longer; he'd seen they were fine. Now he needed something he wasn't getting with them.
“You are a fucking moron if you think I'm goin' anywhere with you!” Inuyasha hissed at him.
“It is time to sleep, and nothing else. You are obviously far to weary for anything more, Inuyasha. Now come, I will show you where you may rest undisturbed.”
“Fuck. You.”
“I will carry you if I must, but you WILL come.” Sesshoumaru stared at him, trying to make him lower his eyes. Didn't he understand that this was for his own good? Why did he always have to make things so…difficult? Sesshoumaru knew he needed this; why couldn't he just give in?
“You can fucking try, but you're never going to be able to…fuck!”
Sesshoumaru shook his head as he turned and began to walk back to his camp. Inuyasha was wrapped in the moko-moko sama and over his shoulder…again. Inuyasha should have known better than to challenge him on something this simple when Sesshoumaru was obviously superior to him in speed.
“Let go! Let go, you bastard! You ass-licking piece of moldy foot rot! Fucking deer-loving cunt! Asshole son of a putrid, disease ridden whore! Leave me the hell alone!”
Sesshoumaru flinched as he could feel his brother's fear spiking in his head. He was not going to give in on this. He'd left him before. He could have taken Inuyasha with him before, even if his brother HAD been so afraid it was gut churning, and none of this would have happened. Naraku would never have gotten close to Inuyasha if Sesshoumaru hadn't left him because of a little fear. He wasn't going to leave him this time. It didn't matter how painful his mate felt in his head…
“LET GO! I fucking HATE you! Let the fuck go!!!” Inuyasha kicked and bucked as he tried to get free, his breathing harsh and rasping, and Sesshoumaru grit his teeth. He kept walking.
The monk spoke up behind him. “Lord Sesshoumaru, I don't think…”
“This is none of your concern, human.” Sesshoumaru turned to face him and saw the rest of Inuyasha's group staring at him with similar looks of worry and anger. “Inuyasha is my mate and I will deal with him as I see fit.”
The miko stepped away from Rin to glare at him. “You can't treat him like this! He just… He was almost… “ She stuttered to a stop, her cheeks painfully flushed as she struggled to speak.
“You had your opportunity to offer assistance. You failed.”
Her face looked guilty and stricken, even as Inuyasha started choking and telling Sesshoumaru to leave her `the fuck alone.'
He was glad she suffered.
“He wouldn't want me to… Inuyasha doesn't like people to talk about it when he's… And he wasn't hurt, he wouldn't want…”
Stupid woman; she thought Inuyasha would prefer to sweep this into a corner and ignore it? It was too big and had affected him far too much. He might as well try to fit a deer in an acorn. “It is done now. Inuyasha is mine, and we are leaving.”
“Don't hurt him.” Sesshoumaru glared at the monk as the man spoke again, but was surprised that the urge to kill him didn't rise. At least he'd seemed to be trying by the time Sesshoumaru had returned.
“Do not presume to give me orders, human.” Sesshoumaru turned again to leave and found himself still speaking. “We will return tomorrow. He will not be harmed.”
Why the hell had he even bothered to speak, he had no idea. Perhaps Rin's presence…
“You fucking bastard, you won't get a chance to hurt me, `cause I'm gonna kill you! I hate…”
Sesshoumaru forced himself to keep walking at an even pace, even as Inuyasha's fear grew. He couldn't leave him here; he had to get him alone. But he didn't want him so frightened…
“You're beginning to repeat yourself, Inuyasha.”
There. There was a little spike of anger.
“Shut up!”
“Do you need some help coming up with insults now, whelp? I would be happy to provide some…”
The anger spiked again, overwhelming the fear for just a moment.
“You fucking prick, shut the hell up! I'm gonna…”
“Kill me, yes, I heard you before. Creativity doesn't seem to be your strong suit, does it?”
“Fuck you! You…”
Sesshoumaru concentrated on fanning his brother's anger as he walked. It was quite a bit harder than he would have thought: even the slight insults were beginning to leave a bitter taste on his tongue. Naraku's words had been so vicious, Sesshoumaru hated having to say anything that even vaguely resembled them. Still, Inuyasha's fury was better than his pain. Sesshoumaru would do what was required. He would make his brother so furious that all that remained in the whelp's head was a tiny bubble of fear. He might still have to deal with Jaken in a moment if the Kappa hadn't followed yet, but he and Inuyasha were almost alone now. Alone, when a seriously pissed off, vulnerable, wounded Inuyasha who was going to be attacking him the moment he was released.
At least it would be progress.