InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Uke ❯ Youkai Therapy ( Chapter 28 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Disclaimer: The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
WARNING- This chapter MAY contain: angst, fluff, foul language, Male/Male, anal sex, oral sex, non-consensual sexual acts, spanking, incest, or violence.
Chapter 28 - Youkai Therapy
Still holding his struggling, cursing brother tightly, Sesshoumaru stopped moving when he heard the one other voice that his ears were attuned to. His body could hear that voice in the middle of a hurricane; Inuyasha's insults were certainly not enough to drown it out.
“Why is Lord Inuyasha yelling at Lord Sesshoumaru?' Rin's voice was quiet at this distance, but still clear and crisp. To his surprise, Inuyasha seemed to hear it as well and his brother's body stilled, his curses quieting as he listened for whatever was being said back in the village.
The monk answered. “It's a lover's spat, sweetheart. Nothing to worry yourself over. Newly wed couples fight like this all the time.”
“Yeah, especially if they're dogs.” The wolf's gruff voice offered his opinion in an uninterested tone and Inuyasha began growling low in his throat.
“Miroku, step away from Rin, you lech.” Sesshoumaru stiffened at the slayer's words. Step away from Rin? What was the human doing to his ward that the slayer would say such a thing? He turned and started back to the village. He hadn't thought Rin would be in any danger from the humans, but if one of their own was concerned about her safety, he may have been too complacent.
“What the fuck are you doing, Sesshoumaru? Don't you fucking touch Miroku!”
Sesshoumaru ignored him and listened intently as he walked rather quickly back over the same ground. The humans' behavior towards Inuyasha had made it quite clear that Sesshoumaru did not have any real understanding of how the odd creatures thought. The slayer might have some bizarre concerns that had nothing to do with actual safety, but he couldn't be sure unless he checked himself.
The monk's soft voice had gained volume. “What are you talking about, Sango? The child asked a question; I was simply answering it.”
“You've got your arm around her, Houshi. I wouldn't put it past you to grope the poor thing.”
Sesshoumaru began growling in time to Inuyasha's threats of what he planned for Sesshoumaru's privates if he harmed any of the humans.
“She's a CHILD. I would never…” The honestly aggrieved note to the monk's voice made Sesshoumaru pause. The man was a proven liar, but there was something about his words that struck him as sincere. Possibly it was the fact that his voice lacked any hint of appealing smoothness that coated it when he was attempting to deceive. Sesshoumaru inhaled; plucked the man's scent from the others and examined it in his mind. It wasn't aroused in the slightest. The slayer was incorrect. He would leave the ningen to their petty disputes; Rin would be fine.
He was already turning and walking back to the outskirts of the village when he heard the slayer speaking again. “You're the biggest lecher ever, Monk. How old did that one girl say she was when you asked her to bear you a child? 11? Rin isn't that much younger, so step away from her, hentai!”
“Koharu? You're speaking of Koharu?” Now the monk was extremely loud, angrily so. “It was meaningless; like asking a toddler to marry you because she's so beautiful! It wasn't meant in earnest!”
“You could have fooled me. Step. Back.”
“I cannot believe you would accuse me of something like this! I am not a pedophile, Sango!”
“You're a pervert! Who knows what you might do!”
“For the love of… I wouldn't do something to a child!”
Any answer was lost as Sesshoumaru drew far enough from the village to enter the darkened shadows of the surrounding forest. The sound of his own footsteps were almost non-existent, especially compared to Inuyasha's snarls, and now that he had the privacy of the forest, Sesshoumaru couldn't stop himself from looking down at his shoulder. He watched Inuyasha's bottom shimmy and squirm as he continued to struggle, his mate's voice growing louder and cruder now that he was no longer eavesdropping. Sesshoumaru barely heard him as he focused on that appetizing curve of muscle flexing so close to his mouth that he was horribly tempted to take a small bite. His eyes ignored the path ahead of him even while he damned himself for a lecher as disgusting as Inuyasha's immoral monk. How could he be thinking of Inuyasha and his body when the hanyou was still recovering from such a recent attack?
Yet he was. He could deny it all he liked, but he was already thinking of things he could do to Inuyasha, to make him stop hurting, to make him feel…good. If he could calm Inuyasha down, he could show him that his own touch would be nothing like that bastard Naraku's. He knew he could make Inuyasha's body sing as sweetly as it had when Inuyasha had been face down over his lap. He just needed to get him alone, so he could deal with the fear and anger and pain without interference.
Sesshoumaru walked faster, his erection impeding his stride. He was relieved that it took only a few minutes to be well away from the village's rather repulsive stench once again, and a few minutes after that he heard Jaken's voice. A low mutter running underneath Inuyasha's renewed swearing, it was still just as audible as Rin's questions had been.
“…Lord Sesshoumaru is teasing Jaken. He's teasing Jaken; Lord Sesshoumaru has a wonderful sense of humor, but he shouldn't tease Jaken like this. Inuyasha…filthy half-breed…Lord Sesshoumaru would never… Unless there's another? A Lady Inuyasha? Has my Lord taken a female mate? Oh, why did Lord Sesshoumaru leave me behind?! Rin! Riiiin!! Lord Sesshoumaru!! Where are you?”
Sesshoumaru growled under his breath. Jaken was close to being more irritation than he was worth. It didn't matter that Sesshoumaru had despised Inuyasha for centuries. He had told Jaken of Inuyasha's change in status; the little toady should have accepted it already. He had better learn to curb his tongue quickly if he wanted to stay whole and undamaged. Sesshoumaru would be quite happy to squash him like a bug, and if he didn't, Inuyasha's temper was fragile enough that Jaken was not long for this world if he continued. Sesshoumaru was just taking his first step into the small camp when Inuyasha noticed Jaken's speech and ceased cursing in favor of one long, menacing growl.
“Jaken.” The sharp tone went right over Jaken's head.
“My Lord, My Lord, I am so sorry! Rin has wandered off and I don't…”
Jaken's eyes goggled even more than normal as he stared at Inuyasha's backside over Sesshoumaru's shoulder.
“She is within the village.”
Jaken's voice was a mere squeak of sound as he continued to stare. “Village? Lord Sesshoumaru…what… have you c-captured Inuyasha, my Lord?” The green body started to wilt in relief as he came up with a feasible explanation for Inuyasha's presence. “Well done, my Lord! Are you planning to torture -“
Inuyasha reared up and attempted to glare over Sesshoumaru's shoulder. “Captured, my ass! You freakin' vomit colored little toad, you just come over here and I'll show you captured! I'll squeeze your neck so hard your eyes pop all the way out, fucker! You- “
“Quiet, Inuyasha.” Sesshoumaru needed to give directions to Jaken and he wasn't going to be able to until Inuyasha quieted down.
“Fuck you! I'll shut up when I fucking feel like it!”
“How dare you curse at Lord Sesshoumaru! Be grateful he hasn't ended your existence already!” Jaken's voice was cracking with instantaneous fury and Sesshoumaru opened his mouth to reprimand him when Inuyasha broke in.
“Ended my…? I'll end YOUR existence, you fucking little kappa kiss-ass!” Inuyasha's body twisted wildly as he tried to free himself from Sesshoumaru and his moko-moko sama.
“I am not a…whatever that vulgar phrase is! I do not… I would NEVER presume to kiss… You are disgusting! I am Lord Sesshoumaru's retainer! I know my betters and follow someone who is worthy of admiration, unlike you! Pathetic, filthy, half-breed barbari- ooomph.”
Sesshoumaru scowled down at Jaken's squirming body as he pressed down on his head with his foot. Inuyasha stopped yelling at the sudden surcease in noise and tried to figure out what had happened. Sesshoumaru could feel him stiffen when he finally located Jaken. Sesshoumaru stepped off of his retainer as the kappa stopped struggling.
“Inuyasha is my mate,” Sesshoumaru said coldly as Jaken pulled his bruised face from the dirt. “You will treat him with respect or you will leave, if I let you live.”
“Mate? This is…not a jest?” Jaken stared up at him, whimpering. “W-wait, leave?? But... but… but… Lord Sesshoumaruuuuu!” Jaken prostrated himself. “What has Jaken done?! Jaken would never anger my Lord! Never! I am Lord Sesshoumaru's most faithful retainer. Jaken's only wish is to serve you, my Lord! I-“
“Then go into the human village and stay with Rin. Don't attack the humans and youkai there.” Sesshoumaru paused, reconsidering. “Except the Ookami; if they do anything untoward, you have my permission to dispose of them as you see fit.”
“Ookami?” Jaken's voice had fallen to a whimpering squeak again and Sesshoumaru resisted the urge to sigh. “There are other youkai there, my Lord?” Jaken lifted his face from the ground and his eyes drifted to Inuyasha's hakama covered bottom again. Sesshoumaru growled.
“Yes, my Lord! Of course, my Lord!” Jaken scrambled to his feet and stumbled away into the now dark woods, already muttering to himself before he left Sesshoumaru's hearing. “Woe is me! What was Lord Sesshoumaru thinking? The most perfect youkai in all the island and now he is stuck with that boorish, ignorant half-breed! My poor, poor Lord Sesshoumaru! Someone must have forced him to take a mate! That dirty half-breed, he must have tricked him somehow! Lord Sesshoumaru is too wise to allow himself to be tricked, but… but he must have…”
Sesshoumaru noted that he'd need to beat Jaken again to get his point across, but ignored the rest of the kappa's words as Inuyasha started struggling to be released again. Taking a deep breath, he tightened his grip around the taut, kicking legs, noting Inuyasha's panicked breathing and rapid heart rate with regret. They were alone, and in a safe location. It should be now.
“I will release you now, Inuyasha.”
“You bet you will, asshole! Fucker! I'm gonna kick your ass!” Inuyasha was placed on his feet and he stumbled backwards as he tried to get free at the same moment Sesshoumaru loosened the moko-moko sama. He spun as the last loop released and leapt at Sesshoumaru as soon as he regained his feet. “I HATE you!”
Sesshoumaru dodged to the side in time to avoid getting clawed, although he didn't move more than a few inches. He had the feeling that he might need all his strength to get them both through the night. Wasting energy in some violent, unnecessary struggle seemed foolish, although a little bloodshed might actually help. If he didn't know that Inuyasha would be able to tell that he was feigning incompetence, he might have let Inuyasha hit him a few times for just that purpose. Falsely allowing himself to be injured, however, would likely insult his mate even further…he should keep it in reserve in case it seemed to be needed later.
“You cocksucker!” Inuyasha snarled, charged him, and missed again as Sesshoumaru leapt lightly out of the way.
“Condescending, molesting bastard!” Inuyasha dove for him, claws extended, and Sesshoumaru had to use a bit more speed to stay beyond his reach. He frowned as he monitored Inuyasha inside his head. Inuyasha seemed even more upset than he had during the walk over.
Was this the right course of action?
“You're more fucked up than a pox ridden geisha!” Inuyasha cut his palms and flung blood sickles though the space between them. The tree behind Sesshoumaru was turned into a splintered ruin as he spun and avoided the attack. He noted the destruction with growing concern. Inuyasha seemed to be adjusting quickly to the limitations of their bond. As much as Sesshoumaru had originally mocked his blades of blood, that last flurry would have done some serious damage if it had connected. Not fatal, but it could have been quite debilitating.
“You're a bigger asshole than a gay whore!” Sesshoumaru ducked under another swipe of claws, the ends of his hair catching just slightly on the sharp tips.
A small, frightened cry rang out from the woods behind them, and Inuyasha turned from Sesshoumaru with a lurch to land in a defensive crouch. Sesshoumaru noted he was scenting the air rather desperately as Sesshoumaru did the same with less concern. The noise hadn't been recognizable as Rin or Jaken, and it obviously wasn't from Inuyasha; it wasn't from someone who mattered. The young voice screamed again, bleating and terrified, and Inuyasha looked back at Sesshoumaru tensely. Was he waiting for Sesshoumaru to act in some way? Over a human?? Somehow, Sesshoumaru wasn't surprised when Inuyasha suddenly sprinted towards the sound.
Following, Sesshoumaru kept Inuyasha in sight without overtaking him. The wind had shifted, and he could make out the scent of a number of minor demons as well as a human that smelled on the verge of adulthood Why was Inuyasha rushing out after it? Did he know this person?
Did he care for him? Sesshoumaru scowled and stayed close.
Inuyasha burst upon three centipede youkai converging on a young male who had fallen onto his stomach in his haste to escape them. The boy scrabbled uselessly as the youkai turned to face Inuyasha. His brother was more than a match for them, and Sesshoumaru could feel a savage kind of pulsing within Inuyasha as he leapt to meet them with a harsh cry.
Sesshoumaru smiled fondly as Inuyasha snarled, his claws slicing so quickly they were a blur followed by gouts of blood. He didn't touch Tessaiga. A raging pleasure burned through Inuyasha with every demon's scream of pain, and Sesshoumaru grunted to himself, satisfied. His mate's own anguish was diminishing. He could feel it crushed and pushed aside as the joy of the kill overtook his brother's mind. This was working. It wasn't quite what he'd been expecting when he'd taken Inuyasha from his friends, but it was most definitely helping his mate.
He supposed there was no real substitute for carnage when it came to exorcising personal demons. He should of thought of this himself. There would likely be more of them around that Inuyasha could vent his fury on; Sesshoumaru wouldn't be surprised to find a few pockets of the pathetic things littering the countryside, now that their master had been defeated. And they shouldn't prove too difficult for Inuyasha to destroy, merely time consuming.
After a brief glance to reassure himself that Inuyasha was handling the problem to his satisfaction, he released the hilt of his own sword, a bit surprised that he'd grasped it in the first place. It was only a few minutes work to turn the obscenities to shredded carcasses. Inuyasha stood afterwards, breathing hard and covered in gore, checking for any movement before finally turning to the human who hovered near a small clump of saplings.
“Are you -“
The boy took off running, screaming stridently, before Inuyasha could finish his sentence. He stared, a brief pain flickering in Sesshoumaru's head again before Inuyasha yelled after him.
“Yeah, well, I wasn't doing it for you anyway!” He turned furious eyes to Sesshoumaru as though daring him to say anything.
“He'll meet his own demise soon enough.” Sesshoumaru kept his voice light and unconcerned, even as a small part of him hoped it were true. Ungrateful little cur. “I'm sure there are plenty of Naraku's more cowardly minions still nearby. The human seems too stupid to avoid them. Good riddance.”
He could practically smell the worry in Inuyasha's scent. Sesshoumaru might not really understand why Inuyasha was fussing over these ungrateful, filthy humans, but it was enough to know that he was. He would have something to do for the next few hours that should keep him occupied, let him eliminate some of his anger, and give him a little of his confidence back. If Sesshoumaru were lucky, it would also tire him out sufficiently that he would be more amenable to whatever happened when they returned to camp for the night.
Inuyasha growled and started moving unerringly through the darkness. “Nothing from that bastard should live.”
Sesshoumaru didn't say a word as he followed, content to watch his mate's hunt. They came upon a small nest of slithering youkai rather quickly, giving Inuyasha another chance to get blood underneath his claws and stretch his body out as he leapt on them. After the small skirmish, he had the same odd pause before he went off on his own, tracking, and Sesshoumaru assumed it was related to whatever difficulty he'd seemed to have traveling by himself before.
He couldn't believe how proud he felt that Inuyasha was confronting whatever had been holding him back, and beating it. Pride was not something he'd ever expected to feel about Inuyasha. When had actual admiration become part of his feelings for the whelp? It should be unnatural; the brat had driven him crazy with guilt, anger, and lust for so long, it was hard to envision anything else.
But it sat there, clamped around his throat, and he continued to watch Inuyasha battle demon after demon, swamped with it, even when he had to interfere. In the middle of the last skirmish, a putrid, purple creature had thin tendrils along its belly, and when one of them wrapped around Inuyasha's leg and up his thigh, he froze. Sesshoumaru saw his pupils contract suddenly, his breathing coming in panicked gasps as he stared at nothing. His scent had been steeped suddenly in disgust and terror, and he'd stood stiffly until Sesshoumaru leapt forward as the youkai went for Inuyasha's vulnerable throat. Sesshoumaru had sliced it in two. As soon as the rubbery grip released Inuyasha's leg in its death throws, Inuyasha had shuddered, looking down at the mutilated corpse in confusion, and then continued fighting as though nothing had happened. Sesshoumaru didn't think Inuyasha had even realized that Sesshoumaru had participated.
He was most definitely keeping close to Inuyasha for quite some time.
Inuyasha was tearing dead bodies into small pieces when Sesshoumaru could no longer smell any remaining demons, not that still lived. He kept his silence as Inuyasha continued the hunt and merely watched. Letting the blood lust cool in his mate's veins could only help them both when they finally returned to camp, most especially as Sesshoumaru imagined he would have to force the issue. Inuyasha hadn't wanted to leave the village the first time; it was unlikely he'd be any more disposed towards it now.
Looking around to reassure himself that they were, indeed, the only large living beings in the area, Sesshoumaru listened as Inuyasha began to grumble under his breath. When tracking brought them to the third pile of bodies in a row, rather than something new to destroy as Inuyasha had obviously hoped, his brother began cursing. He spat on the ground in disgust and began to prowl through the underbrush angrily. Inuyasha wiped his hand across his face.
Seeing his brother look for somewhere to wipe his hand off was almost amusing. Sesshoumaru didn't believe there was a single inch of Inuyasha that wasn't covered in blood and gore. His lips twitched as Inuyasha began prowling again, snarling to himself, until he found one of the little streams that populated the forest.
Stomping in, Inuyasha hissed at the cold and then sat down with a heavy splash. Sesshoumaru's lips quirked again. After such a long bout of violence, the simplicity of watching Inuyasha bathe was an odd contrast. Inuyasha's hands dumped water over his hair and his fingers scrubbed at it furiously. It wasn't working very well; he couldn't get enough water to do more than smear the blood around. The stream was barely deeper than his ankles.
Inuyasha seemed to realize the problem almost as soon as Sesshoumaru noticed and he suddenly flopped backwards into the water, dousing his head. He rolled over onto his stomach, dunked his face into the water as well, and sat back up, thoroughly soaked. Sesshoumaru turned his face away to keep from smiling. Inuyasha's practical, undignified approach reminded him a bit of Rin. It was surprising for someone who was so sensitive to mockery; Sesshoumaru would have thought he'd be more self-conscious.
Still resisting the urge to smile, he looked back at Inuyasha, who was almost finished with rinsing the filth from his hair. His robe's red cloth was dark and slick against Inuyasha's moon-lit skin, and any resemblance to Rin was instantly gone. Inuyasha's hand lifted as he poured more water from his palms over his head. The soaked sleeves slid back to his elbows, and Sesshoumaru focused on the small bones and fragile skin on the inside of his wrists. Gleaming rivulets of water slid down them to disappear into cloth, and he blinked. Inuyasha's face was upturned, his eyes closed, his hair silvered and slick as he poured out another slow handful of liquid over himself.
He was beautiful.
Sesshoumaru couldn't have made a sound if he'd tried, and he focused rather quickly on the feel of his brother inside his head. He couldn't afford to let himself feel like this tonight, not yet. He had to remember Inuyasha's pain…
Which seemed to have completely faded for this brief moment. Inuyasha's muscles were warm and loose, his nipples were almost painfully erect from the icy water, and his mind was so sated off the violence that it was nearly sexual. Sesshoumaru's cock swelled in response, and as Inuyasha continued to rinse off the accumulated gore of the night, Sesshoumaru swallowed heavily.
He wanted to look away, and he couldn't. He knew he was salivating, his body growing flushed and aroused, and still Inuyasha didn't stop. Inuyasha, sluicing water over his hair again, was blindly unaware of how utterly mesmerizing he looked. He had to be, because Sesshoumaru knew his brother wasn't desirous of anything sexual. As much as Sesshoumaru thought the physical side of sex might be an even better release than the violence had been, Inuyasha would never agree to it without a fight. He was too frightened of it, after Naraku. Inuyasha would never deliberately do something to elicit a lustful response in his mate right now…
…like growling, kneeling out of the water, and pouring water over the front of his hakama, rubbing his hands against his crotch as he washed it…
…and then doing the same to the fabric across his bottom, his hands smoothing over his own curving flesh so briskly that it shimmied.
Only centuries of practicing restraint enabled Sesshoumaru to stay still and caress with nothing more than his eyes. His body was hot, his skin itchy and uncomfortable within his silks. He was certain that Inuyasha could smell his arousal by this point, especially when his brother turned to look at him after he finished cleaning off, but his brother didn't run. Actually, aside from an increase in glaring, Inuyasha didn't react much at all. He seemed content to grunt, and then he clumsily slogged out of the water. After a few steps in the direction of Sesshoumaru's camp, he paused, his scent growing fearful, and then he took a deep gulp of air and strode as quickly as he could into the forest.
And he was still going back to the camp. Why wasn't he trying to make his way to his friends? Sesshoumaru had been sure he'd have to force Inuyasha to stay away from them. Confused, worried, and still uncomfortably aroused, he followed him. Was he going to attempt to force Sesshoumaru to take him again? Seeing the long legs striding ahead of him, Sesshoumaru hoped not.
He wasn't entirely certain he could refuse a second time in a row.
Inuyasha stomped into the abandoned camp, finding his way by the faint moon light to a large tree where he turned and slumped to the ground. Sesshoumaru sat down across the clearing from him, seating himself slowly. He wasn't certain what to expect, and he couldn't figure out what Inuyasha was doing.
His mate wasn't so furiously angry any longer; his scent alone made that clear. But what he was actually feeling was a mystery at the moment. His body was definitely calmer than it had been; the pain was so much less that Sesshoumaru knew he would happily go out and find something else to slaughter if it came back. But he didn't seem calm. Blank faced, body uncertain and inconclusive as to his thoughts, Inuyasha merely watched him. Sesshoumaru tried to keep himself as calm as possible as he watched back.
“I don't get you.” Inuyasha's words were hoarse, a mere whisper. Sesshoumaru didn't reply. What was there to say? “What the fuck are you doing? You haven't tried fucking anything since we left Kaede's.”
Sesshoumaru's head tilted to the side, and Inuyasha watched him blink, still silent. What the fuck WAS he doing? Inuyasha had made sure to come back to the freakin' camp; he couldn't hurt anyone out here, and no one would see whatever crap Sesshoumaru was going to dish out. They were totally alone. And besides, Inuyasha was so tired from taking out all those nasty little shits that all he wanted to do was sleep. He felt like he could damn well sleep for weeks right now without waking once. It had to be obvious to Sesshoumaru that he could take him down without breaking a sweat; why wasn't he trying?
Maybe he'd finally grown so disgusted that he didn't even want to touch him anymore.
“If you ain't gonna beat on me, why don't you take your damn Kappa and your stupid little girl and just fucking leave?” His eyes felt scratchy and hot, and he couldn't seem to raise his voice. The sound was hiding somewhere in the back of his throat and all he could manage was a hoarse, rough whisper.
“You are my mate.”
He managed to snort. “Like that fucking means anything.”
Sesshoumaru bristled inside Inuyasha's head. “It means you are my mate, Inuyasha. I will not leave without you.”
“Why the hell not? You haven't wanted to stay near me longer than it takes to make me bleed, not in my whole gods-be-damned life, why the fuck won't you go away now?”
In Inuyasha's head, Sesshoumaru fretted. Inuyasha would swear, if he didn't know better, that his brother was actually confused and worried. What the hell was he thinking?
“You are my mate.” Inuyasha closed his eyes. What had he expected? Some reason that Sesshoumaru might actually want to be around him? Something other than `I need an uke to fuck' was too much to fucking hope for. He wasn't hoping for it, though. He fucking wasn't! He didn't want to be touched by him, to hear him, to even fucking smell him. He didn't need the fucker. He didn't need anyone.
If he wasn't around anyone, he couldn't hurt them, anyway.
Inuyasha felt Sesshoumaru's arousal that had been simmering on slow burn bump up a notch and he opened his eyes quickly. He should have known. “How could I forget? You finally wanna fuck me now, huh? You must be pissed Naraku almost got the jump on you. Needed to let his stink die off or something before you tried to jump my ass again, huh, pervert?” His lips curled as he tried to ignore the fact that his heart was almost beating out of his chest.
Sesshoumaru growled. “That has nothing to do with it.”
“Yeah, sure. Well, you can do your fucking worst, I ain't begging.” Inuyasha scowled at Sesshoumaru's pale outline across the clearing, bracing himself. That last comment had definitely pissed Sesshoumaru off. He'd be on him any second now. “You can bleed me dry, and I won't beg. Never again, asshole. I ain't begging again.”
“I have never required such a thing…”
Inuyasha laughed shortly. “Oh that's just rich. What the fuck would you call it, then? You gonna try to have me screaming, then, is that it? Well fuck you. Fuck. You.”
“Inuyasha…” Sesshoumaru's face actually moved. Inuyasha would swear it did; he thought he saw his eyebrows come together for just a moment, almost worried. It was so strange Inuyasha's hackles stood up.
Sesshoumaru's voice was very soft when he spoke again. “I won't hurt you.”
Inuyasha couldn't believe he'd said it, and he didn't give off one whiff of a lie. Not in his head, not in his body. Probably thought that whatever Inuyasha did that made Sesshoumaru get off wasn't `pain,' the asshole.
“Bull shit. You haven't done anything but try to kill me for years, and then you decided to fuck with me even more and mated with me. You poisoned me, you beat the shit out of me, you humiliated me, you… “ Inuyasha choked and had to catch his breath. He couldn't believe the bastard kept saying shit like this. Like he meant it. Like Inuyasha would believe one fucking word of it. And Inuyasha just kept talking, letting know how much all his shit had fucked with him.
He was the most pathetic loser in the fucking world.
“I won't beg.” He finally said again. Sesshoumaru was going to try for him again; he knew it. He could feel him still aroused in his head, ever since Inuyasha had washed off all the demon shit from his hair and his clothes. But he wasn't going to ask him to stop. He wasn't asking for anything from the bastard.
“Why do you continue restating such a ridiculous comment? I am not asking you to beg in any way.”
“You think I don't remember, asshole? You were fucking trying to kidnap me just days ago. And you told me just what you planned to do, or are you saying YOU don't remember? You said I'd be begging, and I'm telling you, it's not gonna fucking happen. Do your fucking worst; I'll survive it just like everything else and there's not a fucking thing you can do to stop it.” Inuyasha laughed a little hysterically before he caught himself. “You can't kill me anymore. You can't even try to kill me anymore, asshole.” Inuyasha shook his head, trying to think through the sudden storm in Sesshoumaru's emotional state. He was pissed, shocked, still fucking aroused, and…Inuyasha couldn't even interpret it all.
“That was not my meaning.”
“What the fuck else would you mean, asshole? Ain't a whole hell of a lot else you could mean. I'm not stupid, you know! I might be a fucking uke, but that doesn't mean I'm a fucking idiot!”
Sesshoumaru blinked once before he spoke again. “No. You are not mentally inferior. Just confused.”
Inuyasha stared at him, mouth half-opened as he stuck on his next insult. Had Sesshoumaru just passed up an opportunity to insult him?
“You mistook my meaning, Inuyasha.”
Sesshoumaru took a moment to answer back, and Inuyasha waited tensely. Would he attack him? “I was referring to pleasure.” Sesshoumaru's voice was even softer than before. “I was able to make you come before. I wanted you to enjoy such a thing again so much that you would beg…ask for more. I spoke of pleasure, not pain.”
Inuyasha shook his head. “You don't give a flea-infested rat's hairy ass about anyone else's pleasure, you frigid bastard. Especially not mine. And you fucking know it.” He clenched his fists. How dare Sesshoumaru imply he gave a shit about anything to do with Inuyasha? What the fuck was he trying to do? “You just want a hole to fuck, and you wanna hear me scream, and now you can do both at the same time.” He spat on the ground next to him.
Sesshoumaru was up, across the clearing, and kneeling in front of Inuyasha in an instant. “If that was all I wanted, I would have taken you at the hot springs.” Before Inuyasha could do more than gape, Sesshoumaru took his head between his hands, and kissed him. His brother took advantage of his open mouth to plunge his tongue in, swirling it over his own, covering his mouth in heat.
And Sesshoumaru wanted him. Inuyasha couldn't block it out; like some damn fire, Sesshoumaru's aroused need burned through his head and started something hot raging in his belly. It was fucking insane! Sesshoumaru wanted him to hurt, he knew it, but…it didn't. The sensation poured down from his mouth, from his brain, up from his groin to mix in the middle as he whimpered once, and Sesshoumaru pulled away, breathing hoarsely.
He licked his lips as he looked at Inuyasha, and lust came off him in waves. Taking a deep breath, he stood up and backed away until they were separated by the useless patch of grass between them both. He sat down again. “If your body was all I wanted, I would have taken you right now, Inuyasha.”
“I… You… What the fuck did you just do!?” Inuyasha leapt to his feet, disgusted with himself that he'd just sat there through the entire thing. He'd just fucking LET the bastard kiss him!
“I showed you that you are incorrect. I do not wish to touch you to cause you pain. It has nothing to do with some imagined desire to thwart your wishes, brother.”
Imagined? That fucking, condescending prick! “You wouldn't slit my throat for me, long as I asked for it, brother. You'd rather cut off your other fucking arm than grant a request of mine, and you damn well know it! You fucking despise me just as much as I despise you.” Inuyasha grunted as pain sluiced over from Sesshoumaru's mind. What the fuck was wrong with him? What the hell was Sesshoumaru's game? Inuyasha felt so on edge, wondering if he was going to have to defend himself from another damn assault, that he snarled at him.
Sesshoumaru stared at him coldly, even when his mind was still burning with heat as he looked at Inuyasha. “Ask, then, and we shall see.”
“Ask. Ask something of me, and we shall see if I would rather cut off my other arm rather than oblige you.”
“Don't fucking try to pretend like…”
“A reasonable request, not malicious or ridiculous, Inuyasha. Come, you claim to have a mind, can you not think of something?”
Inuyasha stared at him and grunted again. He spit out the words. “My clothes are wet. I'm cold. How `bout you take off your haori and toss it over so I can cover up?”
Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed. “You are not even chilled. I have no intention of disrobing for some facetious request. Don't be…”
“Yeah, that's what I thought.”
There was a low growl across the clearing, a flurry of movement, and Inuyasha yelped and struggled frantically as something hit him in the face. He clawed at it; he wasn't going to let him do this again! Grasping tightly, he managed to clear his vision, and he paled as he stared down with huge eyes at the silk fabric in his hands. He had to check Sesshoumaru to believe it. His brother sat, half dressed with the moko-moko sama on the ground next to him, scowling.
Sesshoumaru had actually done it. That was insane; Sesshoumaru wouldn't do something for him like this! He would never give something to Inuyasha like this…his clothes, with father's symbol? Something of father's… even if he'd thrown it at him, it was… Wait. Had he let Inuyasha wear it before? Was this what he'd been wearing when they'd come back to the village?
Inuyasha would have said that Sesshoumaru would rather toss leftover food to the rats than share it with him, so how could he let Inuyasha touch something of father's? To use… to use again? His haori…Inuyasha stared down at the silk, running his fingers over it.
“If you are merely going to pet my clothing, return it,” Sesshoumaru ordered tersely.
Inuyasha's hands clutched convulsively. “I- I'll do whatever the fuck I want to with it.” He rubbed it one last time, sat down in front of the tree to give his body something to brace itself with, and slung the silk over one shoulder. The fabric soaked through in moments after it lay on his own wet clothing. He and Sesshoumaru stared at each other.
“Well what?” Inuyasha kept two fingers on the edge of the haori, fingering the seams.
“I am owed an apology. You were incorrect that I would injure myself rather than fulfill a request.”
“You're owed an apology? You... Fuck. Guess you're not quite as big an asshole as I thought. Maybe.” Inuyasha wasn't willing to go any further than that. Sesshoumaru still despised him. He knew it.
They both sat, staring across the clearing at each other as the moon moved slowly from behind a thick limb. His brother's perfect damn face almost glowed, his lips a dark slash that made Inuyasha shift uncomfortably. He couldn't understand it. How could he despise him so much, and still kiss like that? Inuyasha chewed on the inside of his cheek. Sesshoumaru's mouth had been on his, his tongue had been inside of him, and it had been hot and sweet tasting and…
…and nothing like the cold, repellant feel of Naraku against his skin.
He shivered. He couldn't understand it.
Sesshoumaru saw the light shining against the pale fabric of his own clothing as it lay over Inuyasha's chest, and the irritated tension in his chest eased to a less familiar sorrow. Holding onto the loose cloth, his eyes huge and bright, his slender body drowning in the fire rat robes, Inuyasha looked like a young boy dressing up in his father's clothes.
How sad. He was exactly that, wasn't he?
He was an irritating, mouthy, disrespectful brat, who was hurting, and frightened, and so desperately alone as he sat huddled next to the tree that Sesshoumaru's face flushed with the urge to sit next to him. The little whelp seemed so vulnerable. Easy to assault. Easy to crush and devour and ruin.
His stomach burned like acid at the reminder. “What happened to the man who raped you?”
Inuyasha's face shuddered closed as he glanced up. “You…know?” He bared his fangs. “Of course you do. Probably watched. Did that give your sick heart a little k-kick, seeing me take it in the ass, huh? Hearing me scream that whole night; I bet you jack off to it when…”
“Cease!” Sesshoumaru swallowed his growls at the image Inuyasha had just given him. The entire night? Someone had raped him more than once?!
Sesshoumaru tried to push aside the tide of anguish rearing up, but it was everywhere. From Inuyasha's head, from his gut, from Sesshoumaru's own body. Could he have stopped it? Had it happened before he'd known of Inuyasha's true existence, or was it when Sesshoumaru had left him on his own so no one had had been there to help him? Could he have stopped it? Some…bastard…ripping into his body for hours, making him bleed? Sesshoumaru didn't recognize the urge welling up in his throat until it was almost too late. He steeled his stomach in time to keep from vomiting, but he had to pant noticeably to do so.
Inuyasha stared at him as though he'd performed a handstand with a dancing bear.
“I - “ If the fucking bastard was still alive, he was going to make him die so painfully that Naraku's ending would be merciful in comparison. “What happened to him?” he growled harshly.
“I fucking killed him, what do you think!” Inuyasha growled back, clawing Sesshoumaru's haori in his hands.
“I was not there. I didn't- I would not have permitted it.” He wanted that clear. He might be guilty of many things, but not this. He would not have allowed this, no matter how much he wanted to see Inuyasha suffer. Except…he should have been there. He could have stopped it, if he'd been there. “The monk informed me.”
Inuyasha's ears went back and he laughed without the slightest hint of humor, ignoring Sesshoumaru's vow. “Miroku again? Fucking bastard seems to be screwing me over all over the place, huh?”
“I believe the human was…concerned about the consummation of our mating.” This was idiocy. He was defending the human? What in all the hells was wrong with him lately? Why was he doing this? Inuyasha's pain that had risen with his bitter comments faded slightly, anger taking its place. But the pain was gone. And Sesshoumaru was even more of an imbecile, because the lack of it made him actually glad he'd said what he had.
“He's a fucking moron. My...mating has nothing the fuck to do with him, dammit! Dumbass human! He doesn't understand anything!”
“Neither do you.” Sesshoumaru said carefully.
“Fuck you! I understand just fine! We're mates, so you got even more say in how you can fuck me over now. And you've been clear as hell that you are, literally, going to fuck me over if you can get to me. You probably laughed you're fucking ass off when you found out I was an uke. Your worthless brother turns out to be a pathetic uke bitch.”
“I did not laugh.”
Inuyasha's eyes gleamed eerily. “What, a stain on the family name, then? It piss you off instead? That why you were such an asshole, huh? Father's blood managed to be even more polluted as an uke? Serves you right, fucker.”
“An uke is not a stain…”
“Oh, that's just me, is it?” Inuyasha's eyes were wide and almost unseeing, his body jittery with fatigue and something Sesshoumaru couldn't figure out.
“You are not a stain...”
“That ain't what you said before. Stain on the surface of the world, wasn't that it? Just before you fucking bit me.”
Sesshoumaru's breath shuddered to a stop, regret shifting under his skin. Had he said that? He couldn't remember. He could remember the terror over the thought of Inuyasha being taken by Naraku, the fury that Inuyasha would let it happen. He had been so furious at the thought of anyone taking his brother's body, and so he'd taken it for himself.
He hadn't cared what his brother wanted; he'd just taken. And he couldn't give it back. He still wanted his body. He wanted it whole and unblemished, without pain. He didn't want him to remember anything from Sesshoumaru that resembled one damn thing Naraku had done to Inuyasha, but he couldn't stop wanting him.
“I…” Sesshoumaru stopped as his throat closed up. He owed him no explanations. This was not the same as a mere misunderstanding, and Inuyasha was his mate, but that didn't give him the right to know of Sesshoumaru's flaws, of his loss of temper and mental reasoning whenever he was around his mate. But Inuyasha was so terribly, terribly sad, his ears wilted and limp. His eyes were bright, despairing holes on his pale face, even while he sneered as though he was angry and without weakness. A vicious, uncaring warrior whose body seemed to weep inside Sesshoumaru's head.
Inuyasha was quiet for a long time. “You don't make mistakes.”
Sesshoumaru swallowed. “Even the Gods are not without flaws.” He waited for an answer for minutes before he gave up. There was not much time left before dawn, and Inuyasha's body was already fatigued past bearing. ”It is time to sleep, Inuyasha.”
“You never sleep.”
“Then I will better be able to keep watch tonight. Sleep. There is no one here that you need worry about.” Inuyasha stared at him hard and he nodded. “Not even myself. I told you I wouldn't harm you. I have kept to my word so far, have I not?”
Inuyasha didn't seem convinced and Sesshoumaru persisted. “You can attempt to insult or injure me again tomorrow, Inuyasha, when you are rested.”
“I could beat the crap out of you now.” Inuyasha's fingers stiffened and Sesshoumaru could feel his brother's blood begin to pump faster through his body.
“You could try, but you would be more likely to succeed if you let your body rest as it needs, first.”
Inuyasha was poised on the edge of vaulting up, but Sesshoumaru stared at him with a blank expression, hoping his mate would stop himself before Sesshoumaru would be forced to stop him instead. Inuyasha subsided with a confused, unhappy frown and leaned more fully against the tree he reclined next to. His eyes flicked once to the side, in the direction of the village, and the frown deepened. Sesshoumaru could feel Inuyasha's insides clench even as his ears flattened against his head.
“Just `cause I'm tired, not because you told me too.”
“Of course not.” Sesshoumaru murmured.
When almost half an hour had passed and the moon-reflected glow from Inuyasha's eyes still shone, Sesshoumaru whispered across the clearing. “Sleep, Inuyasha.”
“You first. I ain't falling asleep with you and your freaking molesting ass watching me.”
“The one way to assure I come over there is to remain awake, Inuyasha. I won't cause you pain, but I have already had an example of what will make you fall asleep. If you wish me to touch your body again and force your arousal in order to exhaust you sufficiently until you rest, simply stay awake. It will happen.”
Inuyasha was on his feet and snarling before Sesshoumaru finished, Sesshoumaru's haori flung to the ground, and Sesshoumaru sighed. “I will not touch you if you are sleeping peacefully, Inuyasha. I will keep watch.”
Inuyasha didn't move, aside from his ears twitching, as Sesshoumaru tried to read what seemed to be a confusing tangle of conflicting reactions inside. He worried about what he might have to do, just to force Inuyasha to get the rest he needed. He didn't think Inuyasha would actually react well to any more sexual overtures, but the threat of them would hopefully get his compliance.
If it didn't, though, what was Sesshoumaru going to do? He couldn't force himself on his brother to that extent, not now, not when it would strain his current mental limits beyond all bearing.
“You fucking stay over there. I'm sitting here. And I'm sleeping if I fucking want to.” Inuyasha sat back down and stared at Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru tried to keep his patience as he felt Inuyasha's body slowly calming. He didn't want to wind him back up if he was on his way into slumber, even if it was taking longer than he hoped.
Inuyasha's eyelashes lowered in slow increments over his eyes until they finally touched his cheeks. Sesshoumaru could hear his even breathing across the clearing. The peace inside his mind was such a relief, Sesshoumaru's entire body relaxed.
He had every intention of staying away and simply keeping watch. He was not going anywhere near his mate, no matter how appealing he smelled, and looked, until Inuyasha began to whimper in his sleep. Sesshoumaru ground his teeth together and stayed where he was. He wasn't going over there. Inuyasha would rather -
“No, don't touch me.” Inuyasha whined deep in his throat and Sesshoumaru stood abruptly and was seated next to Inuyasha before he could whimper again.
“He won't,” he whispered. “Never again. No one will ever touch you again. You're safe.”
Inuyasha whined again. “It hurts. Stop.” His voice was small and young. Sesshoumaru slid over until he was touching his body with his shoulder. “You're safe. I'm here now. I won't leave. You're safe.” Inuyasha quieted, his head shifting limply from the tree to Sesshoumaru's arm, and Sesshoumaru reached over his own chest to brush his hand softly over his ears.
“Rest. You're safe. No more pain today.” His fingers stroked Inuyasha's ears in repetitive strokes until he was certain Inuyasha was deeply asleep again, and then he rested his hand against his head. Just for a moment.
He would move back across the clearing soon. He would watch Inuyasha for a few moments more, that was all.