InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Uke ❯ Losing Your Temper ( Chapter 31 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Disclaimer: The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
A/N And here is a brand new chapter, just put up today. Enjoy and hope you have a lovely holiday today!
WARNING- This chapter MAY contain: angst, fluff, foul language, Male/Male, anal sex, oral sex, non-consensual sexual acts, spanking, incest, or violence.
Chapter 31 - Losing Your Temper
His body finally clean again, Sesshoumaru watched Inuyasha carefully as they walked back towards the malodorous human village. It was difficult to tell what he was feeling. There hadn't been any pain coming from his brother since he'd stopped his heartrending sobbing; the sensations in Sesshoumaru's head now seemed strangely empty and raw, as though Inuyasha weren't experiencing anything at all. It was almost like he'd fallen into a dreamless sleep.
At first, it hadn't worried Sesshoumaru. His fury had still simmered in his veins - although Inuyasha's pain had scorched much of the heat away. Still, when Inuyasha had subsided into calm, Sesshoumaru had been focused on wading into the first clean water he'd found, scrubbing his own skin with sand and soap root until the stench was gone. Once he was no longer disgusting, and he'd forced Inuyasha into the water as well to clean up, he'd expected a bit of spirit. Inuyasha made the word `contrary' seem tame - it was in his nature to resist what he was told, no matter that it was often for his own good. Sesshoumaru was beginning to see that clearly, even when nothing else in their chaotic mating was.
But the boy had merely sunk into this strange numbness on the way to the pond, and he hadn't emerged from it yet. Not when Sesshoumaru had ordered him to scrub himself, not on the walk back to the pit that had housed Sesshoumaru's armor, not when Sesshoumaru had donned his clothing again, still clean and nicely folded where he'd left them.
Not even when Sesshoumaru had glared pointedly at the mess that was his armor, calling out for the unseen Jaken to make sure to clean it thoroughly.
Now returning to Rin and Inuyasha's pack, Sesshoumaru wasn't sure if he liked how Inuyasha felt or not. It wasn't unpleasant, but it felt a bit disturbing.
“Inuyasha, are you-“ Sesshoumaru cut himself off before he could finish the question. It seemed so strange to ask such a simple thing of his brother. When his body still thrummed from the execution of Naraku, the question had sprung from his mouth before he needed to think, but right now he could hardly bring his tongue to form the words. There was something about them that gave hints of…concern. And the simpler the words, the larger he felt the concern they implied.
After another few minutes with Inuyasha's emptiness haunting his mind, with no reaction to his half finished question besides, Sesshoumaru tried again. “Inuyasha, are you well?”
Inuyasha looked back at him, his eyes a more muted gold than normal, like a film dimmed the normal brilliance of the color. “I'm fine.”
The missing `jackass' at the end of his pithy reply was disturbing. Sesshoumaru frowned, walking slowly along the path with his normal stride, keeping his eye on Inuyasha's progress. His brother's back was straight, but his arms were tucked into his still damp sleeves. Sesshoumaru had noticed he did that a lot more often when he was nervous, but there were no nerves jittering in his mate's head.
There was only emptiness.
The laughter had been so bright - taught lungs bursting with sound, and taking all the tension and pain from Inuyasha as it spilled out. After that, to have Inuyasha dampened down like this was even more frustrating.
The only thing that kept Sesshoumaru from forcing Inuyasha to stop his current hollow sensations was that it didn't feel wrong any more than it felt right. Inuyasha was such a volatile creature; perhaps his body needed to regain its energy periodically. Sesshoumaru wasn't certain if that might be a human trait, but the weak often needed frequent breaks from the normal challenges life. Wasn't their nightly requirement of sleep a sign of that?
“Do you wish to return to the ningen?” He needed to retrieve Rin, but if Inuyasha wanted to stay away from the others he would be quite happy to indulge him. His nose had been through enough trauma to last him years.
“I should go say somethin' to everybody, See how they're doing,” Inuyasha muttered hollowly. His walk lacked something, a small, angry bounce that had revived the night before when he'd been hunting, and this morning as well. It was gone again.
“They are ningen. You owe them nothing.”
“They're my friends, jack ass.”
Sesshoumaru felt the slightest bit warmer inside from the familiar insult. He wondered why he relished them so much now. His earlier anger over the armor was completely absent. It would likely return once he had time to dwell on it, but considering Inuyasha's condition, it could wait for quite a while. Jaken was gone…
An invisible shudder ran through him at the memory and his eyes narrowed.
Jaken was gone for the moment, although he was sure to come back once he had cleaned Sesshoumaru's armor until it sparkled, and any justified irritation Sesshoumaru felt towards the incompetent kappa were in abeyance at the moment as well. He was focusing on Inuyasha for the time being.
A flash of red drew his eye and he glanced at his brother again without turning his head. Inuyasha's body was outlined clearly by the slick fabric - it was amazing fond he was of washing himself off while still clothed. The results were breaking Sesshoumaru's calm every time. The slope of Inuyasha's limbs and the flat planes of his stomach were outlined so clearly it distracted the mind.
He paused as Inuyasha stopped suddenly. The boy's ears swiveled, bringing the human voices up ahead into the foreground for Sesshoumaru as well.
It seemed to be the monk and the female slayer, off on the their own, and having some sort of altercation.
“Come, Inuyasha, we still have some distance before we reach Rin.”
“Shhh! I can't hear them when you're flapping your gums!”
Sesshoumaru growled and he couldn't help his eyes widening as Inuyasha turned to glare at him ferociously. How combative. Foolish and deserving of punishment, but…
Sesshoumaru felt too good seeing it to react. What would it hurt to let him have a little rebellion at this point? Sesshoumaru could always return to teaching him his manners after things had returned to normal. Or rather, returned to the way that Sesshoumaru would like them to be. Right before Naraku's interference, when Inuyasha was a hairsbreadth from being seduced, when Sesshoumaru was so close to tasting his brother's pale bottom on his tongue that he'd been able to scent the taste of it whenever he inhaled.
For now, it seemed Inuyasha wished to eavesdrop on some of his pack's disagreement.
“…issue you have with me, you will cease dragging the child into it, Sango!”
Sesshoumaru smirked as he heard the frustration and anger in the monk's voice. Anything that made the man suffer was something he heartily approved of.
“I have no idea what you're talking about.”
“You know very well that I have done nothing to be ashamed of with Rin! Nothing! And yet you accuse me again!”
The slayer's voice had developed a slight tremor that her anger nearly, but not quite, hid when she replied, “You're being ridiculous. I only said something because I know you and-“
“Exactly! You know me, Sango! You know I would never defile a child!” There was a pause, and Sesshoumaru noted a softening in the man's voice. “If you have something you want to say to me, simply say it. Don't avoid it in this manner. You're better than that. Even if you're angry for…for something trivial, you may share it with me and-“
“Trivial!” There was the sound of a slap. “Trivial!! You stupid, blind, idiotic houshi!” He heard a half-sob and noticed that Inuyasha's body was quivering with tension. This wasn't good.
“Inuyasha,” he murmured, “we should make our presence known and then you may-“
“No, something's going on.” Inuyasha's voice was hardly there, hardly paying attention to Sesshoumaru at all. It was irksome to suddenly be relegated as so unimportant that Inuyasha barely registered him.
“…so foolish!” the slayer yelled, her voice an irritating near-shriek. “How can you be such a selfish pervert every single day, and then such a foolish, self-sacrificing idiot at the worst possible time?!”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Why didn't you stop when you saw the saimyosho around Naraku? You saw them; you knew they were going to poison you if you didn't close the kazaana! Why didn't you stop?”
The only sound for a moment was their harsh breathing and Inuyasha's bare feet shuffling in the dirt.
“Sango,” The monk cleared his throat. “I couldn't let Naraku get away. Not again. Not after what he nearly did to Inuyasha.”
“What he nearly did to Inuyasha?! So you'd let Naraku do worse to you? You think Inuyasha would have wanted you to kill yourself simply to get revenge for him? You idiot!” There was another slap.
“Sango, stop it! I said you could talk to me; I didn't say you could abuse me!” he said. “And it was necessary. Naraku had to be stopped. With Sesshoumaru coming, that was our best chance. I had to do it.”
There was another pause before the male spoke again.
“Besides, you and Kagome were able to counteract the poison, so he didn't kill me, now did he?”
Sesshoumaru heard a low sob and he watched Inuyasha's ears flatten against his head.
“Sango's cryin',” he murmured.
“All humans are weak,” Sesshoumaru said. Why Inuyasha found her behavior unusual was beyond him.
Inuyasha glared at him. “Sango ain't. Sango never cries.
“Yes he did, you idiot houshi! He killed you!”
“Sango…” the monk sighed. “Obviously that can't be the case, or I wouldn't be here now.”
“You would if Kagome made a wish on the jewel to bring you back!”
Sesshoumaru wanted to clutch at his gut at the sudden influx of pain coming from Inuyasha.
The monk was hesitant as he spoke. “But Sango, you said… you both said you used the jewel to rid me of the poison.”
“We lied,” the slayer's voice was lowering now, losing her volume. “You died. We couldn't save you. You died. We didn't want to say anything, because Inuyasha would have felt so bad, and we just…we couldn't. And I couldn't…
There was a long pause, so long Sesshoumaru wanted to announce their presence simply to end it. Inuyasha was drowning in pain.
The woman finally continued, whispering hoarsely. “I didn't want the jewel to be whole. Even if it saved you, I didn't want it to be whole. But it was, and so she could bring you back.” Another pause. “I am the worst, most ungrateful woman that has ever existed. Because I would have rather died if she hadn't brought you back - I was glad the jewel was finally healed - but I still didn't want it whole, houshi.”
Sesshoumaru could hear the two humans shifting around, one moving towards the other.
“I know,” the monk said quietly. “I was…reminded last night. The whole jewel means that Kohaku is gone.” The slayer sobbed as Inuyasha's pain increased again, sharp and hard, stabbing into Sesshoumaru's head. “I'm so, so sorry, Sango. I'm so sorry I forgot what it meant.”
“How can I be glad the jewel is whole, houshi? What type of sister am I, that I can find the slightest gladness in that?”
“There is no shame in taking joy where you find it, even in the midst of sorrow,” the monk said softly. “Our hearts can grieve and rejoice at the same time.”
“It seems to me, however, that you haven't yet given yourself time to grieve.” Sesshoumaru heard the rustling of fabric. “Please. Give yourself some time.”
Inuyasha's face was ducked so that Sesshoumaru couldn't see the expression. He didn't like what he was feeling. There was another soft sob. From the feeling in Inuyasha's head, Sesshoumaru wasn't entirely certain it wasn't from him.
The slayer sniffled once. “Houshi, I- I can't…” She took a large breath. “I can't lose you again,” she finally whispered. “I know Kohaku is gone now. I think I've known for months now. We haven't seen him any time Naraku as been around, not him or any of the incarnations. But when you were gone, too… You can't do that again. I swear, if you ever kill yourself to protect us again, I'll kill you myself!”
The monk chuckled. “I'll do my best to stay alive. And you still have some grieving to do, my love. Come here. It's all right. No one's around to see you. It won't worry anyone but myself, eh?”
They both heard her soft sobbing and Inuyasha turned suddenly and began to walk back the way they'd come.
Sesshoumaru followed after, worried about the rapidly diminishing hollow feeling to his mate. He didn't like what was replacing it.
“I'm such a fucking idiot,” Inuyasha snarled, the claws on his toes digging into the dirt as he walked.
“Hn.” He wasn't certain what was going on, but Inuyasha seemed willing to talk, and he didn't wish to interrupt. Maybe he could find out more about what went on in that incomprehensible head of his.
“He fucking died! They never told me that! I was such a fucking pussy that Miroku killed himself to get the revenge that I should have been getting! And Kohaku - what the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I so fucking selfish that I didn't even remember? He's her brother! Her fucking brother and I can't even get one second of being a real human being to remember that without his shard, he'd have died. I'm so-“
Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed, the physical pain from Inuyasha nearly eclipsing the emptiness from before. He hated the return of the pain. Inuyasha was not allowed to do this to the both of them again. He stopped his brother with a hand on his shoulder.
“You are none of those things.”
“Fuck you! You're such an isolated ass, you couldn't possibly-“
“The monk had forgotten this Kohaku as well. I cannot see how you should be held up to a different standard, especially over a human who has very little connection to you.”
“Very little connection? She's my fucking friend!” Glaring up at him, Inuyasha's lungs were heaving like bellows. The pain was changing, though. Or fading, some, as Inuyasha scent grew thick with anger.
That was better, although it hadn't been his intention. Sesshoumaru couldn't imagine why Inuyasha considered the slayer a friend at all. She hadn't shown much evidence of friendship to date that he'd witnessed, other than pursuing Naraku. Not that he thought much of the concept in the first place, but Inuyasha was obviously drawn to it. “If she were truly your friend, then she should have overcome her selfish grief on this matter and given more aid to you when you required it.”
Inuyasha watched him, eyes wide, blinking finally as he shook his head. “You always find a way to remind me what a fucking cold bastard you are. She lost her brother. She shook that off enough to go after that fucker Naraku, which is better than I did!”
“That matters not. She had a duty towards you once the fight was finished and she has failed at it. She is no longer worthy of your foolish affections.”
Inuyasha glared at him and pulled back, still walking away from the village. His voice was a disgusted murmur. “Should have known you wouldn't fucking understand, you fucking ice prince. You sure as hell wouldn't care if I died.”
Sesshoumaru growled. “That is untrue.” His voice was harsh and deep as he spoke. He could see Naraku eviscerating Inuyasha in his head instead of nearly raping him and he felt his eyes begin to redden. “It would not be allowed.”
Inuyasha turned to face him. “Not allowed? You don't have a choice when someone dies, you jackass.” He snorted, his hands going into his sleeves again.
“I do,” Sesshoumaru said, trying to remain calm. That empty, severed feeling in his head when he had thought Inuyasha had been killed returned. It had his guts writhing. “Tenseiga would bring you back if such a thing were to happen.”
Inuyasha gaped, his mouth falling open in a manner that made Sesshoumaru want to see those lips around his cock. It went on uncomfortably long before his mouth shut with a click of fangs and his brother he swallowed heavily. “Tenseiga? You mean…you'd bring me back if I died?”
Sesshoumaru nodded with a miniscule jerk of his head. Of course he would! What an idiotic question. As though Inuyasha was allowed to get away from him that way. He'd be just as much a disaster in the afterlife as he was here. He…
He needed someone to care for him and keep him in line at the same time. He should know that by now.
Inuyasha swung out his arms. “Why the hell would you do that? You fucking hate me!”
“I have already said that is not the case.” Did the brat listen to nothing he said? Sesshoumaru's teeth clenched. Inuyasha never got things right. He just seemed to continue misunderstanding everything Sesshoumaru did, everything he said, every action. “I would not mate someone whom I found detestable.”
“You said you fucking loathed me! You said it!” Inuyasha was yelling now, his claws out. The numbness inside of him was now completely gone, filled up with blood pounding through his veins, his scent sharp with anger. The feeling found a home inside Sesshoumaru this time and buoyed his own feelings up on a bubble of molten steel.
“I have already said I was mistaken,” Sesshoumaru said sharply, working on bringing his voice back down. He would not lose his temper over such a ridiculous thing! Feeling Inuyasha in his mind, something painful swirling with the power of his anger, he swallowed. This was ridiculous; it was even more so that it seemed to be affecting Inuyasha.
And it was seeping into his mind like water through a leak in a dam. He couldn't keep it out, and it was as though Inuyasha's reaction were setting off phantom echoes inside his own body. He could feel his own anger rising higher at Inuyasha's frustrating idiocy, like it had before he'd ever mated the whelp. Swirling together with the heaving lungs and the need for blood that was growing inside Inuyasha, it was making it nearly impossible to keep from lashing out.
Holding onto his own temper was hard enough without this. Why could Inuyasha not control himself and cease making it even harder for Sesshoumaru to do so himself?!
“Mistaken?” Inuyasha barked. He laughed bitterly. “Saying `I loathe you' is not a mistake, dammit!”
“It is if one loses one's temper!” Sesshoumaru snapped back, and Inuyasha's stunned, gaping face made him realize what he'd said. He drew in on himself, burning in humiliation as he made his face as cold and still as he could manage. “This is a foolish waste of time. We need to return to the village and Rin. Come, Inuyasha.”
Inuyasha was staring at him still, not moving. This was…horrible. Much, much worse than losing control of his body and beating the boy. He was losing control of his mind now! His very tongue was betraying him!
And Inuyasha still wasn't moving!
“I said that it is time to return to your companions.” Inuyasha stared at him as Sesshoumaru controlled the urge to lash out and erase the source of this burning humiliation. “Inuyasha, I said move! ”
His brother didn't take a step, his face shifting oddly. “You just admitted it,” Inuyasha said, as though testing the feel of the words on his tongue. “You admitted you lose your temper. I don't believe it.”
Sesshoumaru was thankful he'd perfected blanking his face and eyes. “I have no idea to what you are referring to.”
“Just now. You said you lose your temper!”
“I said no such thing.” Sesshoumaru said coldly, turning and starting down the path to the village on his own. Damnation!
“You big fucking baby! You said it! You fucking said it! And it just burns you up that you did, too!” Inuyasha called after him, trotting after to catch up.
Sesshoumaru refused to look at him. He didn't know what he would do if he did, but he knew this feeling. If he lost himself right now, he knew he was going to end up humiliating himself further.
“You are being repetitive again, Inuyasha.”
“And you're lying your ass off!”
“Cease this foolishness.” Sesshoumaru sincerely hoped the burn inside of his stomach didn't show on his face. If Inuyasha didn't stop right now…
“You fucking lose your temper, and you know it!”
Rounding on him, Sesshoumaru grabbed the back of his head, gripping his wild hair with his hand and pulling him in close. His voice shifted down an octave before he spoke. “If you really believed that, then you should have been watching your mouth, now shouldn't you, hanyou?”
He held him tight while he slammed his lips down over Inuyasha's. It felt so good, to quiet him this way. Those pink lips, luscious and sweet and firm and most importantly silent under his own, Sesshoumaru kept himself from groaning, running his tongue over the soft flesh while Inuyasha stared at him in shock.
When his brother's eyes dilated rapidly, his scent going from anger to arousal, Sesshoumaru didn't want to stop. He wanted his mate underneath him, writhing as he entered that pristine, white ass and plundered it. He'd been patient, and he'd put up with more than anyone else had ever put him through. Humans, filth, disrespect, beatings, insults - he'd even been forced to watch Naraku try to take what was his.
And now Inuyasha had damaged his armor and was working on his pride, on his very ability to speak only what he wished to say. Enough was enough. He had the right to take his own mate. He had the right to touch him.
So why wasn't he doing it?
He deepened the kiss with a groan, then loosed his grip on Inuyasha's hair. When his brother didn't pull away, he fingered his ears, feeling his Inuyasha's hips snap against his own the instant he touched the soft fur of the puppy-like triangles. Inuyasha whimpered in his throat, a sensual, surrendering whimper, and even though it made Sesshoumaru's cock rise instantly, it brought back memory of that painful whimper of fear he'd heard with Naraku.
He was reminded instantly why he wasn't taking Inuyasha just yet. But it wasn't right! He wanted his mate, dammit, and he'd allowed the boy more freedom than he'd ever allowed anyone. He should be able to have him now.
He broke the kiss off with his breath more hoarse than he liked, staring into his mate's face. Inuyasha stared back, dazed at first, turning to a pink-cheeked horror as his eyes cleared. He'd recovered too quickly, Sesshoumaru thought. He should have been so involved he didn't even know where he was for minutes yet.
It was still too soon. Sesshoumaru released his head with a frustrated snarl and Inuyasha leapt back, growling, claws out defensively.
“What the hell do you think you're doing!?”
“Wasn't that obvious? I thought I was supposed to be losing my temper,” Sesshoumaru said icily, his heart racing while he tried desperately not to lick his lips. Inuyasha gave him an odd look, as though he couldn't tell whether to be infuriated by what had just happened or not.
“You're a bastard,” he finally snarled, readying himself. “If you think I'm gonna just let you do what you like…”
“The heavens would surely fall and crush us all before that would happen,” Sesshoumaru commented with a sneer. His brother was such a stubborn, suspicious little whelp. Even with the undertone of fear to Inuyasha's scent, Sesshoumaru's frustration was almost more than he could overcome. He still wanted to take his mate, and take him hard. Remind him who he belonged to, teach him a lesson about when his taunting was going too far.
The only thing that was still stopping him was that for all Inuyasha's bravado, he was obviously still frightened by any physical intimacy. Sesshoumaru heaved a silent sigh, covering it by turning to go at the same time. Inuyasha needed more time, and Sesshoumaru wasn't certain how much more time he was willing to give him. Especially if the brat continued along his path of treating him and his possessions with such disrespect.
He only hoped that the ningen stopped their new emotional involvement long enough to keep from upsetting Inuyasha further, because while some small measure of concern might stop Sesshoumaru when it came to Inuyasha, he wasn't feeling nearly as concerned over their well-being. They might prove a good outlet for some of his frustration at the moment.
Sesshoumaru glanced at Inuyasha again. The boy looked worried. Over the ningen? Sesshoumaru stared back at the trail and ground his teeth. He supposed he might let them live a little longer. For a few more days, even if they were nearly as irritating as Inuyasha could be at times.