InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Vastly Overrated ❯ Lively Intoxication ( Chapter 5 )

Lively Intoxication

Innocence is cliche. What is innocence? This is not an important question, or is it? Innocence doesn't truly exist. There is no innocence in the world; no matter how badly an individual wishes this to be true. Once an individual becomes over the age of five months, then there truly is no innocence present. The again, can one really say that there was innocence in a babe? Honestly, is it possible that a babe is truly innocent? Innocence is a state of mind. Well, this cancels out the theoretical belief that innocence is located in a babe, because a babe has a developing mind, and there is no stable state in a developing mind, or perhaps there is? There has been no immediate innocence in the known world since billions of years ago in the beginning of time. There is no innocence in the face of man. Innocence was lost in a terbulant wind.

This notion of supposed innocence is in a disturbingly low rate in the law. This is why the legal system is, for lack of better terminology, 'screwed'.

Non-the-less, the lack of innocence in the world is the precise reason that the economy has the issues that it has today. What with the alcoholics, drug addicts, mentally unstable individuals in the world, there is no wonder that there is no innocence. According to Webster's Dictionary, Innocence is to be "free from guilt or harm" or to be a "simpleton or a natural".

Perhaps I'm wrong, or the world just wants to JUSTIFY the term INNOCENCE which exists as a word but not in truth. Then again, I suppose that my "inner remarks on lack of innocence in the world" will have to wait, as I note that my hand is full of something... firm and yet not. Oh, right... I really must find a way to end the random spurrs my mind falls into. Ah, yes. I still have a hold on the throat of the one whom talks too much. Maybe my hold is too strong for him? I suppose my intense reaction was instinctual. The reaction being to grab his throat in the first place, of course.

As I remember the spoken and unspoken words that he 'the oh so ostenacious one' had... spoken, I sneer... again, and tighten my grip before I balled my fist and said fist said hello to his face. Quite viciously, might I add.

"Heyyy! Ow! Tha' Hur'!" He cried drunkenly. Oh... yes, well.. he'll have another pain in the morning it seems. I am un-repentant as I my fingers relaxed against his neck and jerkily I back away uncurling my fingers and turn slowly toward the chair that I had been comfortably sitting in, and sat down. Carelessly, I glance at Sesshoumaru, and note that he was looking at me with a sort of... amusement.

I smile at him, before I notice that Sesshoumaru is now looking at my feet. I lean over the seat and note that my sketchpad has opened to a page with his picture. I don't blush, it doesn't matter that he sees it. It was of him sitting across from me, he's expression bored, and his form relaxed. He had the same impassive disposition so it was amazing that she had made the picture life-like. "This is really good," he said to me, and I smile in thanks. "Why don't you go into the artistic feild permanently, it's what you want, and you're obviously very well at it. More than adequate," he said. I look at him for a moment, before I sigh. "There are plenty of 'more than adequate' artists' and you know very well that I am in the same boat as you. Forced to do something that I don't wish to do... Except in a different way," I say defensively.

I notice that Inuyasha was still stunned. I didn't think that I hit him that hard. I heard Sesshoumaru chuckle. Turning to him I raise an eyebrow.

"You have a mean right hook," was how he answered my questioning glance. I grin slightly. "Thank you," I say pleasantly. "You bas'ar... You....she hit's hard!" cried Inuyasha in surprise. I glare at him momentarily. "And you talk too much." I state simply. "I suppose I must be going," I say before standing. "You'll intoduce me to your world as well, no?" he asked me as I walked toward the door, and I pause, "We are of the same world, I'll see you in the meeting on Tuesday" I say indifferently. I understand the underlying message in his question. When can I see your work? I only hope thatg he understands my answer as when I am next on a day off or After the meeting

I try to match his bored tone but decide that it isn't worth it. I am, as you know, still somewhat intoxicated. So you can understand why I don't notice Inuyasha's calculating gaze.

But that doesn't mean that I am any less lucid than I am usually. Or maybe I am... I seem to be seeing double...except one looks disturbingly less elegant than the other. Oh, yes. They're brothers.. It's kind of hard to tell that they're brothers...or maybe it's just me? Yeah, it's just me. It's definitely time for me to leave. I glance at my watch and think that maybe I should have stopped at drink two.. it seems that my watch has little birds as the numbers... and there's a smiley face...odd.... isn't my watch digital? I don't remember it being animated though...

I blink. Maybe the theory behind the thought that alcoholic beverages kill brain cells is somewhat true. I'm feeling a little less intelligent. Hmm... the square root of one hundred forty-four, divided by six, times thirty-two, divided by eight... equals eight. Okay, I feel better. At least I'm not below the mid-grade level in mathematics... what about literature... or English... hmm... The lucidity of the human mind is not in context to the intellectual levels that they pertain, though these 'levels' can receed... recede...rec.. ok, I give up. Maybe my spelling and grammar is horrid at the moment but maybe it'll be ok in the morning. Hopefully.

Groaning, I make my way home and hopefully to my loving bed that has yet to betray me.

Or maybe it has? I think belatedly as I managed to escape through the house and into my room. Of course it's only testiment to the level of alcohol in my system that I think my bed has betrayed me. There on my bed is my mother. Sitting there as if that was where she belonged, and of course she looked out of place. I mean... it's MY bed. My PRESCIOUS bed... That I so Very DESPERATELY need to sleep in right at this very moment. Because I Do have to work in the morning. You understand my situation, right?

So you'd understand why I was so... angry at the world all of a sudden. Then... my situation turned bleak and I suddenly didn't care anylonger. I wish that I can claim apathy. "Mother." I say tiredly. "I found this... in your bathroom... what.. what's going on?" Is that worry I hear in her voice? I stare without comprehension at the piece of glass that my mother is holding in her hand. Apparently she noticed the crusted, dried blood on the edges of the glass. Dried blood which had once been lovely crimson drops of my continued existence.

How dare she enter my room... my... well, my sanctuary. She has never cared before. Neither has she ever bothered to go into my room. What is going on, indeed?

I walk toward her. "Get out of my room." I say boredly. Funny how I can get the right tone while away from Sesshoumaru's company. "I want to know the reason that this is here.. second thought I don't want to know. You just want to cause trouble.. you hateful little child," she cried out in angery dismay. Ah, that explains it. The worry wasn't for me. It was for her social standing... my fathers' social standing... As if I could really affect that..oh wait I CAN! I stared incredulously at her before speaking, "Child? little? HATEFUL? You're the hateful one. Cause trouble nyah! You are the trouble. I've done everything that I can! Everything that YOU and 'father' tell me to do!" I cry angrily. I marvel at my fantastic acting ability. How I can sound furious and not feel anything at all on the inside. Amazing. Truly amazing.

It's a wonder what would happen if my family ever bothered to look me in the eye. Not just glance, but look beneath the surface of my retina. If eyes are the windows to the soul, then while I'm in the company of my family, my soul is six feet cold under the ground. " You want publicity to be negative on the family, you've changed things in your father's business and you... you... you encouraged your brother Souta to draw of all things!" This time my incredulity is real. "I don't want to negatively publicize my life, though I wouldn't care if it happened. I've made my fathers' business function seventy five percent better than it had been. I made it better! And Souta LOVES to draw! He told me so, and he does amazingly well for a FOUR year old! Not that anyone notices..." I mutter. They only notice what they want. "THAT doesn't answer my question! Does it? Oh, wait...umm.. NO it doesn't!" I frown. No way. "Mom, it did, and Sarcasm is not your strong suit." I say deadpan. Sarcasm is MY life, however. And it's right up there with contradictions and oxymorons. "I'm disappointed in you..." she pauses as if she has some sort of... I can't even think of a word right now. "Ooh, thank you for that enlightening information, I'll be sure to remember that.. not that I forgot the first time I heard it." I mutter. I seem to be doing that a lot. My head is beginning to hurt. No scratch that, my head was already hurting, but now it's POUNDING. I really just want to sleep. "You're drunk." she said simply. I glare balefully at her, not really caring that she was looking hurt. Why should I care? Doesn't matter cause I don't.

"I can not believe that you would... you would... I thought you were smarter than this! Drinking kills brain cells, you need all the cells in your brain that you have! It's not the same with your father. He's a brilliant man, he can do as he wishes. But you needn't do something to jeopardize your..." I cut her off. "MOM! Are you implying that dad won't lose braincells from drinking.... that YOU won't lose brain cells... because really YOU do drink a LOT more than I. Because after all you are the woman beside father sipping sake! At least I'm refined. I drink scotch, wine, etc. It's all alcohol, and you're implying that it doesn't affect men... only women?" I think.... that this proves my moms' lack of common sense.

"You...you..." She started. "Yes, Me..me!" I taunt. "I can't talk to you right now! Not while you're in this state of intoxication," She says and I sneer. I'm beyond the point of self preservation. "State of intoxication? I'll be sober tomorrow, but you'll be ignorant for the rest of your life!" I say indolently. She gasps as if I've smacked her. "Your father will hear about this... this oliteration!" Then she rushed out of the room. Instead of restraining my instincts, I yelled after her, "You mean altercation!" I quickly regret this though as the pain in my head blossomed. Sighing I lay down. Easing my head onto my mercifully cold pillow, I curl onto my side. As I lay on top of my covers, I only have one thought, after I think of Sesshoumaru, and before I go to sleep. She seemed to have forgotten about the glass, as it is still lying on my bed...

I feel caged.